WOMAN FIFTY SHADES OF GREYED HERSELF

A woman had to be rescued after trying to recreate a “Fifty Shades of Grey” sex scene near a popular nude beach on Tenerife, the largest of the Canary Islands. A car had been blasting its horn for at least two hours. A passerby heard the horn blaring repeatedly, went to check and found a woman bashing her head against the steering wheel, honking the horn. Her wrists were tied to the steering wheel with cable ties, and there was duct tape coiled around her neck and mouth. She couldn’t move and was bleeding from her arms. Police used a knife to cut her free, and soon determined that the woman’s torture was self-inflicted. She told the police that she wanted to recreate a scene from “50 Shades of Grey” but it got out of hand. She said, “I don’t have a partner and I am alone.” She was hospitalized for cuts and the effects of restricted breathing.
* Turns out, being strapped to a hospital gurney was one of her other kinks.
* Did she not share her safe word with herself?
* Not so long ago, this would have been a typical Britney Spears story.
* Next up: Recreating the final car scene from “Thelma and Louise”.