WOMAN, 46, ATTACKS BOYFRIEND, 82, OVER JEALOUSY

Police say a Pennsylvania woman in “an outrage of jealousy” attacked her 82-year-old boyfriend with a hacksaw and a model airplane. 46-year-old Bonnie Treaster, of Centre Hall, Pennsylvania, was arraigned Tuesday on aggravated and simple assault charges. Her boyfriend told police Treaster threw him down, climbed on him and hit him on the head with an exhaust clamp. He says she then grabbed a hacksaw and tried to pull down his pants. (*I don’t like where this is heading.) He says she later hit him in the mouth with a model plane. The man needed stitches and had a minor brain bleed. A bloody hacksaw was found in the garage.
* “You love that Metamucil more than me!”
* So who’s the other woman – Betty White?
* What a list of weapons. Was this a crime or a scavenger hunt?
* Never invite your angry girlfriend into your workshop.
* If you can get a woman this stirred up – a woman 36 years younger than you are – then, congratulations: You are the 2015 Senior Player of the Year.
* Let us know when you’ve recovered enough to accept your award.
* So she beat him with a model airplane? I guess getting older IS like a return to childhood.