WHY YOU’RE OVERWEIGHT: BECAUSE YOU’RE A DUMMY

A provocative new study says that fat people are less intelligent than people with a normal weight. The researchers, from the University of Manitoba, Canada, said that their findings could explain why overweight people make poor diet choices – they do not have the mental capacity to control themselves. Nor are they able to stop themselves from making poor choices when the do eat something. The researchers took sophisticated brain images of 32 adults from the city of Baltimore in Maryland, 16 men and 16 women. The researchers measured Body Mass Index and compared them to differences in brain structure and function. The results showed that people with a higher BMI actually had slightly more grey matter overall. However, heavier and fatter people had less white matter in the “salience network”, described as the “seat of motivation, willpower, and the ability to persevere through physical and emotional challenges”. The researchers said it was not clear if the brain differences predispose certain individuals to becoming fat, or vice versa. The study was reported in the journal Frontiers in Neuroscience.
* I’m having trouble following this story.
* So we can go from “I’m big-boned” to “I have less white matter in my salience network.”
* Let the fat shaming begin!
* Hey, why even have a study if you can’t insult somebody?
* As more evidence of the link between fatness and low intelligence, they used photos from the “People of Walmart” website.
* This doesn’t explain why Oprah Winfrey has been a financial genius all her life.
* But it does explain Melissa McCarthy deciding to do the “Ghostbusters” remake.
* Whoops – they left out the part about how food today had triple the calories it used to.
* Wait, they based the results for a species of 7.5 billion people on 32 adults? Way to knock yourself out.
* I don’t know if the scientists who did this study are fat, but their approach sure was stupid.
* Let’s be fair here before we criticize anyone’s brains: Fat people use their mouths a lot, so at least part of their heads work well.