WEDNESDAY, Sept 14 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, September 14, 2022
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: A & M AUTOLAND – Scratch And Dent Sale; THE ONLY MORNING SHOW IN TOWN

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

EAT A HOAGIE DAY

NATIONAL CREAM FILLED DONUT DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“National Cream Filled Donut Day is a sugary, sweet day. Don’tcha just love special days like today? Sure, you were watching your weight. Then, along comes a special day that is just packed with calorie and carbs. And, that special day encourages you to eat one of your favorite treats … cream filled donuts. There is no shortage of food related ‘special days.’ We are certainly glad that someone chose to create a day just for cream filled donuts. It truly is a special treat. The most popular cream filled donuts are chocolate cream and vanilla cream. Whatever flavor is your favorite, just make sure the day does not go by without having one or more cream filled donuts.”

September is:

Baby Safety Month
Better Breakfast Month
Chicken Month
Classical Music Month
Hispanic Heritage Month
Honey Month
Little League Month
National Piano Month
Self Improvement Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

EMMY AWARD RATINGS DROP

The Primetime Emmy Awards were on Monday and have once again sunk to an all-time ratings low. The broadcast only managed about 5.9 million total viewers — which is down from 7.9 million in 2021.
* On the bright side, at that rate, the number of viewers will reach zero by 2025 and they won’t have to put them on TV anymore.
* Let’s look at the winners, shall we?
– “Dopesick” – an examination of how Oxycontin destroyed millions of American lives and families, and the people responsible suffered no jail time, paid a small percentage of their personal fortunes in fines, and were given immunity from further lawsuits.
– “Ozark” – an examination of the hillbilly drug culture in America.
– “Succession” – an examination of a family that is way worse than yours.
– “Squid Game” – a show where poor people are killed randomly and violently.
– “The White Lotus” – a man goes Number 2 in a suitcase.
– “Ted Lasso” – a show with lots and lots and lots of cursing.
* And who wouldn’t want to spend a perfectly good evening honoring that?
* People are figuring out that it’s dumb to tune into an awards show that’s taking the place of the show you actually want to watch.
* All I can say is, next year, “The Bear” better sweep everything.

KING CHARLES FIRES 100

Around 100 members of the staff at new King Charles’ former household have received written notice of termination because their jobs are redundant with his new staff. Among the dismissed employees are private secretaries, the finance office, the communications team, and household staff. Many had worked for the King for decades, but a palace spokesman said that job losses were “unavoidable.”
* 100 redundant royal employees. And you thought government was bloated.
* At least they weren’t all beheaded, like they used to do in the 1970’s.
* It’s also getting increasingly difficult for the late Queen’s staff to find a reason to come to work.
* Among those released:
– Charles’ ear wrangler.
– The guy who stuffs money into the mattress every night.
– Personal chef to those damn Corgis.
– Camilla’s stable boy.

THE BUZZ

TRADE SECRETS

A recent Reddit thread asked people to reveal trade secrets. Here are some things you should know:
– When sending multiple FedEx packages to one place, ship one via overnight delivery and the rest standard. The driver will not want to make a second trip to the destination, so they’ll drop off the standard packages along with the overnight package.
– If you want to book a rental car but they’re sold out, book it for a week or two longer than you actually need it and then just return the car early. You’ll only get charged for the time that you had it. All the systems owned by Enterprise rent-a-car (Enterprise, Alamo and National) prioritize long term reservations and will make sure you get a car over someone who only booked it for a day or two.
– When you order at a drive thru, the microphone stays on until you move forward. Everyone inside the store with a headset on can hear your conversation until you leave the ordering area. (* Oh, man. I hate to think what I’ve ingested after some of the things I’ve said after I ordered.)
– Most fossils in museums are replicas. These days they’re usually plastic casts from silicone molds of real fossils. 3D printed replicas made from high resolution scans are becoming more and more a part of things.
– Arcade crane games have knobs inside that let you control how strong the claw grabs. So you basically make the claw really weak. And there’s a setting in the motherboard to make the claw go full power after a certain amount of plays, so the arcade can decide how often they want people to actually win.
– If you are involuntarily kicked off a flight because of overbooking you can demand cash instead of a voucher.
– The urine pregnancy test you take at the doctors is the same as the Dollar Tree one. (* Yes, but the Dollar Tree tests are returnable after use.)
– At Starbucks, they have a recycling and trash bin. They both go into the dumpster.
– And here’s a shocker: Customer calls are not being answered in the order received. (* Are you telling me my calls aren’t important to them?)
* PHONE TOPIC: Got a trade secret you want to share?

STUDY: MEN DON’T MAKE PASSES AT GIRLS WHO WEAR GLASSES

A new study from the University of Jordan, published in the journal Cureus, found that people who wear glasses are seen as less intelligent, less confident and less attractive. Researchers gathered 517 college-age people in Jordan — some wore glasses and others didn’t — to find out how wearing glasses affects self-esteem measures. The participants were shown photos of four people both with and without glasses and were asked to rate the attractiveness, confidence and intelligence of the people in the photos. Images of people without glasses ranked higher than those with glasses. The participants who did wear glasses tended to give higher scores to the pictures of people with glasses, but those who didn’t wear glasses did not do the same with images without glasses. The researchers hope that this study will encourage people who actually need glasses to wear them.
* Now how in the ever-loving world did they come up with THAT conclusion?
* Study sponsored by Bausch and Lomb, the world’s largest maker of contact lenses.
* If you stop wearing glasses to be more attractive, do you get points off for squinting?
* Photos of only four people? What was the budget for this study – ten bucks?
* To encourage people to wear glasses, they published the study in teeeeeeny-tiny type.

U.S. NEWS

MAN STEALS TV’s FROM WALMART, SELLS THEM IN THE PARKING LOT

In Knoxville, Tennessee, a man was arrested Saturday for stealing televisions from a Walmart, then selling them right in the parking lot of the store. Officers arrived at 9pm to find Donald Kirkland in possession of shoplifted property in the store’s parking lot. Kirkland told officers he had stolen three TV’s, a karaoke machine and camping equipment from the Walmart and was selling it all.
* Look what he’s saving on transportation costs.
* Buying TV’s right outside a Walmart. Nothing suspicious there. No sirree.
* A strange mix of initiative and laziness.
* At least go over to the parking lot at Best Buy where the TVs cost more.
* Now Walmart’s thinking: “This guy’s on to something. Why do we even need a store? We already got rid of the cashiers!”

MAN HAS TAKEN HIS GRANDMOTHER TO EVERY NATIONAL PARK

Brad Ryan of Ohio has taken his grandmother to every national park in the United States. Ryan was in his fourth year of veterinary school at Ohio State University, and wanted a break, to “remember what life is really all about.” So he called his then-85-year-old grandmother Joy. Now 92, Joy Ryan said, “I wasn’t doing anything at the time, just sitting there resting. I’m glad he called.” The Ryans have driven more than 50,000 miles and seen 62 out of our 63 national parks, to explore “every corner of this beautiful country,” Brad Ryan said. Their next stop is the National Park of American Samoa.
* “And I’m gonna leave you there unless you tell me where the money’s buried, Grandma.”
* This is a pretty sweet thing to do. Although Brad’s wife is going, “What the hell, Brad???”
* 50,000 miles on the road. With a stop every 45 minutes to use the bathroom.
* And so far they’ve stopped at 7200 garage sales.
* 62 out of 63 national parks. Makes me wonder if Grandma Joy can name 8 of them.
* I don’t know if I could take 50,000 miles of, “Can you turn the air down, I’m getting a chill.”

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

MAN KILLED BY PET KANGAROO

A 77-year-old Australian man was killed Sunday by a kangaroo that authorities believe he kept as a pet at his home. It was the first fatal kangaroo attack in Australia in 86 years. A relative of the man found him on his property in Redmond. When officers and paramedics arrived at the man’s home, the killer kangaroo was preventing them from reaching its injured owner, so cops shot it dead, police said (* It made them jumpy). However, the man died at the scene.
* But here’s the weird thing: the man was poisoned.
* But let’s not jump to conclusions.
* Was the kangaroo wearing boxing gloves like in the Sylvester cartoons?
* “Punch Drunk Love 2: Love Hurts.”
* What did the man do for a living? Was he a hops farmer?
* Should have gone with maybe a gerbil.

TRENDING

BABY NAMES

The Social Security Administration has released their annual list of the most popular baby names from 2021.
– Girls: Olivia, Emma, Charlotte, Amelia, Ava, Sophia, Isabella, Mia, Evelyn, Harper
– Boys: Liam, Noah, Oliver, Elijah, James, William, Benjamin, Lucas, Henry, Theodore
Some other interesting findings from the name list:
– In 2021, 5,516 baby girls were named Nova.
– The name Emberlynn rose 284 places from 2020 to reach No. 961, breaking into the top 1,000 for the first time ever.
– 400 baby boys were named Sincere in 2021.
– Murphy is one of the fastest-rising names for girls, rising 262 spots.
– Paisley is the No. 3 name for girls in West Virginia and No. 4 in Mississippi in 2021.
– Ozzy had the fourth biggest rise on the list of popular names for boys, jumping up 336 places.
– 6,548 people named their baby boy Maverick in 2021. (* This is a true story, you can steal it for your own: Once, in Walmart, Morning Sidekick watched a mother run after her toddler son yelling, “Maverick! Maverick come here! Maverick, come back here. Maverick!!!” I don’t think she got the irony.)

DOLLYWOOD WINS GOLDEN TICKET AWARDS FOR AMUSEMENT PARKS

A magazine called Amusement Today released the results of its international poll known as the Golden Ticket Awards, which recognize the best in theme parks, amusement parks, family entertainment centers and water parks. Dollywood achieved more wins than any other park with three: Best Guest Experience, Best Christmas Event and Best Kids’ Area.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Sept. 16, Friday – National POW/MIA Recognition Day (The third Friday of September)
Sept. 22, Thursday – Fall begins, Equinox is 9:04 p.m. EDT
Oct. 10, Monday – Columbus Day
Oct. 16, Sunday – National Boss Day
Oct. 31, Monday – Halloween

BIRTHDAYS

Emma Kenney (actress, “The Connors,” ″Shameless”) … 23
Andrew Lincoln (actor, “The Walking Dead”) … 49
Kimberly Williams-Paisley (actress, “According to Jim”) … 51
Sam Neill (actor, “Jurassic Park”) … 75
Walter Koenig (actor, Chekov on the original “Star Trek”) … 86

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I’m not going to pretend I’m some saint, because I’m not.”

(A) Bill Clinton
(B) Kevin Spacey
(C) Andrew Lincoln

ANSWER: (C) Andrew Lincoln

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

COVID-19 in History:
2021 – Johns Hopkins reported 1 in 500 Americans had died of COVID-19, with the nation’s known death toll at 663,913.
2020 – The World Health Organization reported the largest-ever one-day COVID-19 case rise of 307,930, a daily death toll of 5,500, and an overall death total of 917,417.
2020 – Israel became the 1st country to announce a second national lockdown due to COVID-19, for 3 weeks.
2020 – Jakarta, Indonesia’s biggest city of 10 million, imposed widespread restrictions again, amid warnings the healthcare system was on the verge of collapse.

1984 – Joe Kittinger became the first person to fly a balloon solo across the Atlantic Ocean.
* Some people will do anything to get out of the house.

1963 – Mary Ann Fischer gave birth to America’s first surviving quintuplets.
* Almost as incredible – the parents survived, too.

1956 – The first prefrontal lobotomy was performed – in Washington, D.C.
* I’m guessing the subject went on to have a successful career in politics.

1939 – The first successful helicopter flight took place.
* After they removed the ejector seat out of the prototype.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2017 – Selena Gomez revealed she received a kidney transplant, because of lupus, donated by her friend Francia Rais.

2014 – A life-size bronze statue of singer Amy Winehouse was unveiled in Camden, north London. Her father, Mitch Winehouse, said she was “in love with Camden” and it was the place fans associated with her. Created by sculptor Scott Eaton, the statue features the singer with her hand on hip and her trademark beehive hairdo.

2013 – Kanye West was charged with battery and attempted theft over a fight with a photographer at Los Angeles Airport in July. Paparazzo Daniel Ramos sued West after the singer apparently punched him and threw his camera to the ground. If found guilty, West faced a maximum penalty of six months in prison. He settled with Ramos, and apologized.

2006 – Whitney Houston filed for divorce from singer Bobby Brown, after 14 years of marriage.

1990 – Michael Jackson received the “Good Scout Humanitarian Award” for his support of the Boy Scout Movement.

1985 – The MTV Awards were held for the first time.

1969 – Genesis (the band that would launch Peter Gabriel and Phil Collins) played their first gig for money in Surrey, England, at a cottage owned by a Sunday school teacher.

1814 – Francis Scott Key wrote the lyrics to the “Star-Spangled Banner.” The song became the official U.S. national anthem on March 3, 1931.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. 10% of women surveyed said they commonly do THIS before going on a first date. What is it?
They buy new underwear

2. 24% of women surveyed said they’ve done THIS before a big date. What is it?
Waxed their legs

3. 28% of women surveyed said they do THIS on a first date to impress a man. What is it?
Wear a bust-enhancing bra

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