WEDNESDAY, Oct 4 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, October 4, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: A & M AUTOLAND – Blowout Prices

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

IMPROVE YOUR OFFICE DAY

NATIONAL GOLF LOVER’S DAY

NATIONAL SHIP IN A BOTTLE DAY

NATIONAL TACO DAY

NATIONAL VODKA DAY

WORLD ANIMAL DAY

October is:

Adopt a Shelter Dog Month
American Cheese Month
Car Care Month
Child Health Month
Consumer Information Month
Cookbook Month
Country Music Month
Fire Prevention Month
National Pizza Month
National Popcorn Month
National Service Dog Month
Vegetarian Awareness Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

80’S BABES UNITE FOR LIFETIME XMAS MOVIE

One of the roughly 600 Christmas movies the Lifetime Channel will be airing this holiday season is called “Ladies of the 80’s: A Divas Christmas.” The movie stars 1980’s TV sex bombs Loni Anderson (WKRP in Cincinnati), Morgan Fairchild (Falcon Crest), Linda Gray (Dallas), Donna Mills (Knots Landing) and Nicollette Sheridan (Knots Landing). The movie follows five soap opera divas as they reunite to shoot the final Christmas episode of their long-running show. Old rivalries resurface that threaten to tear the production apart, but in the end they reluctantly agree to set aside their differences and “act” as if they all still love each other, and learn the true meaning of Christmas along the way.
* The true meaning of Botox, too.
* There will be more plastic in that movie than all the oceans of the world.
* And I’ve got a super-high-def TV. Great.
* The various stars of “Charlie’s Angels” were too old? The stars of “Melrose Place” were too young? Dang!
* Hope they have the same de-aging technology they used on Indiana Jones.

THE BUZZ

BEIGE FLAGS

You know the expression “That’s a red flag”? In dating, a red flag is something obvious that tells you the other person has a problem: chronic lateness, rude to waitstaff, they won’t let you meet their friends… But for a few months now there’s been something called a Beige Flag. Beige flags are quirky, boring behaviors that may not be red flags, but something you might want to be cautious of as you move forward. Imagine the behavior in the future – would you be able to live with it? Some examples:
– They organize books by color.
– They love K-pop bands.
– They only sit forward-facing on a train.
– The person announces everything they’re about to do: “I think I’ll make a snack.”
– They always eat pizza on Fridays.
– A lack of planning initiative from a male partner – the woman is doing all the planning of dates, trips, events.
– A woman over-communicating, such as repeating information more than once, oversharing details of a friend’s life, or celebrating minor events throughout the day.
* They should make a TV show about Beige Flags. Oh, wait, they did. It was called Seinfeld.
* You can eat pizza any damn day you want – it means I don’t have to cook.
* As usual, a six-figure income gives you a free pass on all this kind of stuff.
* We used to call these Pet Peeves in my day, which apparently was about three months ago.
* PHONE TOPIC: Does your partner have a weird but boring Beige Flag behavior?

PIZZA POLL: WE EAT A LOT OF PIZZA

A new poll by Amazon Fresh of 5,000 U.S. adults finds the average person can eat over half a pizza (5 slices) by themselves in a single sitting. (* Pfff – amateurs!) The poll finds Americans eat pizza three times in any given month — an equivalent of 180 potential slices in a single year. Enough, they say, to fill a full-sized suitcase.
* How many Rhode Islands is that?
* I’ve had pizza that tastes like is was carried around in a suitcase.
* Three times in any given month? There were times when I had pizza three times in any given day.
* How can we get Americans to eat less pizza? Oh, duh – anchovies!
* Well, I just went along with Amazon Fresh’s plan to talk about a dumb poll so they could get their name mentioned … do I get anything? Maybe a pizza?

U.S. NEWS

AT LAST, A BRAND-NEW WAY TO TEAR TOILET PAPER

Charmin – the toilet paper company, not the 5th Avenue jeweler in case you’re confused – has boldly announced a new design in its toilet paper. From now on, the Ultra Soft rolls of Charmin toilet paper will have a new scalloped perforation line, instead of a straight-across perforation. The company says this will give consumers a simpler and smoother tear. The company’s new “Smooth Tear” has been in the works for more than five years, calling it an innovation that the toilet paper category has never seen before.
* Not a whole lot to do all day over at the Charmin company, is there?
* Five years of work? They must be pooped!
* The last toilet paper innovation was rolling it up on cardboard tube, instead of just selling it by the wad.
* However will Angel Soft compete with Charmin’s scalloped perforation line? Oh, I know – zig-zags. You’re welcome, Angel Soft.
* Now that’s innovation! I’m sure the Chinese have already got a factory full of kids cutting scalloped perforations in toilet paper as we speak.

EMERGENCY ALERT TEST TODAY

Everyone’s cell phone is going to be going off today, Wednesday, at 2:20 pm ET, (1:20 Central, 12:20 Mountain, 11:20 Pacific, 5:32 in Hawaii) . It’s a nationwide test of the nation’s Emergency Alert System and Wireless Emergency Alerts. The purpose of the test is to ensure that our systems continue to be effective means of warning the public about emergencies, according to the Federal Emergency Management Agency. Beginning at approximately 2:20 pm ET this Wednesday, all wireless phones should receive an alert and an accompanying text message that reads: “THIS IS A TEST of the National Wireless Emergency Alert System. No action is needed.”
* Oh, man, a national test and I forgot to study. It’s like that high school dream I always have.
* So remember what the government says: this is very important, and don’t do anything.
* The government apologizes in advance to anyone who’ll be trying to call the fire department or 9-1-1.
* I’ve got two words for your emergency alert test: Airplane Mode.
* Look, if you want to send an emergency message and have the entire country get it, just have Taylor Swift take it to an NFL game. You’ll know about it instantly.

IT’S NOT BAGELS, IT’S ART

An artist named Lucy Sparrow has created an installation art piece called “Feltz Bagels.” She used 30,000 pieces of felt to recreate an authentic Jewish bagel shop in New York’s Lower East Side neighborhood. Authentic, except you can’t eat the bagels, they’re made of felt. Everything in the storefront is either made from, or covered in, felt. You can order a felt bagel; Sparrow works the counter, and you can choose from six different types of bagels, and 44 different types of fillings – cream cheese, lettuce, pickles, tomatoes – all felt. Sparrow sews them together for you and charges you $250. Sparrow says she wanted to depict how Eastern European immigrants in the late 19th century “morphed into New York society” and beyond, through their bagel shops. Located in an abandoned storefront in the East Village, Sparrow’s pop-up shop runs through the end of October.
* If there’s a better use for felt, I can’t think of it. Oh, wait – chair leg pads so your floors don’t scuff. That’s a better use of felt.
* I want to be impressed by her art made from felt, but I’m not feeling it.
* I always wonder if, six months into a project like this, buying felt, cutting felt, gluing felt, the artist goes: “This is really stupid.”
* Is she going to get famous from this? As the Magic 8 Ball says, “Future fuzzy.”

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

HELICOPTER CAUSES CROCODILES TO MAKE SEXY TIME

The owner of a crocodile farm in Australia says a hovering military helicopter caused his crocs to become very affectionate. John Lever runs the Koorana Crocodile Farm in Rockhampton, Queensland, which is near the Shoalwater Bay military training area, and pilots use the croc farm as a landmark. A Chinook helicopter recently came in low to get a good look at the animals, and the result was a flurry of reptile romance among his 3,000 animals. “All of the big males got up and roared and bellowed up at the sky, and then after the helicopters left they mated like mad,” Lever said. “There’s something about the sonic waves that really gets them stirred up.” Crocodile specialists say the animals might have mistaken the sound of the chopper for the call of a competing male, and were stirred to action.
* It’s all about that bass, baby.
* Koorana Crocodile Farm? More like Canoodle Crocodile Farm.
* Remember – if the croc is a-rockin’, don’t come a-knockin’.
* Never was the phrase “bumpin’ uglies” more appropriate.
* Just what Australia needs, more crocodiles.

TRENDING

“ONLY MURDERS” COMING BACK FOR SEASON 4

“Only Murders in the Building” has been renewed for a fourth season at Hulu. The news comes after this week’s Season 3 finale, which saw the comedy’s trio solve the mystery of who killed Ben Glenroy (Paul Rudd). The series stars Steve Martin, Martin Short and Selena Gomez. The series remains Hulu’s most watched original comedy ever.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Oct. 9, Monday – Columbus Day
Oct. 14, Saturday – Annular Solar Eclipse (ANNULAR*, not ANNUAL)
(* The moon will not completely cover the sun – being farther from Earth it will be slightly smaller, resulting in a “ring of fire” effect)
Oct. 16, Monday – National Boss’s Day
Oct. 31, Tuesday – Halloween
Nov. 5, Sunday – Daylight Saving Time Ends, turn clocks back 1 hour
Nov. 11, Saturday – Veterans Day
Nov. 23, Thursday – Thanksgiving
Dec. 21, Thursday – Winter begins, winter solstice occurs at 10:27 P.M. EST
Dec. 25, Monday – Christmas
Dec. 31, Sunday – New Year’s Eve
Jan. 1, Monday – New Year’s Day 2024

BIRTHDAYS

Dakota Johnson (actress, “50 Shades” movies) … 34
Melissa Benoist (actress, “Supergirl,” “Glee”) … 35
Alicia Silverstone (actress) … 47
Liev Schreiber (actor, “Ray Donovan”) … 56
Christoph Waltz (actor, “The Consultant,” “No Time to Die,” “Inglourious Basterds”) … 67
Susan Sarandon (actress) … 77

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“Sometimes I panic to the point where I don’t know what I’m thinking or doing. I have a full anxiety attack.”

(A) Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
(B) Senator Mitch McConnell
(C) Dakota Johnson

ANSWER: (C) Dakota Johnson

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2010 – The Supreme Court began a new era with three women serving together for the first time as Elena Kagan took her place at the end of the bench.
* The awkward part – all three always wearing the same outfits at work.

1957 – The world’s first space satellite – the Soviet Sputnik 1 – was launched.
* 60 years later, and satellites now bring us 500 channels of porn. Isn’t progress wonderful?

1905 – Orville Wright became the first person to fly an airplane for over 33 minutes.
* Which was amazing considering he served the drinks, snacks and conducted the safety drill.

1883 – The Orient Express began its first journey. It took 5 days to complete its trans-continental trip.
* Sounds like what Amtrak calls an express.

1878 – The first Chinese embassy opened in Washington DC.
* The CIA still doesn’t know exactly where.

1675 – Christian Huygens patented the pocket watch.
* It would remain the most popular pocket-oriented invention until the introduction of pocket pool.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2007 – The Rolling Stones set a new record for the top grossing tour of all time with their “A Bigger Bang” tour. The tour – which ran from late 2005 to August 2007 – earned the band $437m, with The Stones playing to over 3.5 million people at 113 shows.

1999 – It was reported that Jimi Hendrix’s sister Janie was planning to exhume her brother’s body and move it to a pay-per-view mausoleum. Other plans for the new site included a chance for fans to buy one of burial plots around the guitarist’s new resting place.

1997 – Boyz II Men went to No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “4 Seasons Of Loneliness,” the group’s fifth U.S. No.1.

1982 – The Smiths made their live debut at the Ritz in Manchester, England.

1980 – Carly Simon collapsed on stage during a show in Pittsburgh suffering from nervous exhaustion.

1980 – Queen started a three-week run at No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Another One Bites The Dust.”

1970 – Singer Janis Joplin was found dead at the Landmark Hotel Hollywood after an accidental heroin overdose. She had just finished recording her second solo album “Pearl.” She was 27.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. Women prefer THIS to be blue, but men prefer white. What is it?
Their bedroom

2. Women are 4 times more likely than a man to have THIS in their car. What is it?
A stuffed animal

3. According to researchers, 25% of women have done THIS in the past 24 hours, while 20% of men have done it. What is it?
Housework

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