WEDNESDAY, Nov 22 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

NOTE: MORNING SIDEKICK WILL BE OFF THURSDAY NOV. 23 & FRIDAY NOV. 24 FOR THE U.S. THANKSGIVING HOLIDAY.
WE WILL RETURN WITH PREP FOR MONDAY, NOVEMBER 27.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, November 22, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: THE ̷F̷R̷I̷D̷A̷Y̷ WEDNESDAY CLUSTERFLICKS; A & M AUTOLAND – Thanksgiving Dream; THE ONLY MORNING SHOW IN TOWN

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

GO FOR A RIDE DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“As the holidays approach, life becomes chaotic, and perhaps a bit stressful. Take a breather, and go for a relaxing ride. You don’t need a destination to enjoy this day. But, you certainly can bring family or friends along for company.”

NATIONAL CASHEW DAY

NATIONAL JUKEBOX DAY – Day before Thanksgiving

November is:

Adopt a Senior Pet Month
Great American Smoke Out Month
National Adoption Month
National Military Family Month
National Native American Heritage Month
Raisin Bread Month
Stamp Collecting Month
Vegan Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

AUDIO: ROLLING STONES TOUR SPONSORED BY AARP

The Rolling Stones announced a 2024 North American tour on Tuesday. The Hackney Diamonds tour is sponsored by AARP, the American Association of Retired Persons, an organization that lobbies for the olds. In case you’re wondering, Mick Jagger is 80, Keith Richards is 79 and Ronnie Woods is 76. The Stones will play in 16 cities across the U.S. and Canada, and AARP members will have access to a special ticket presale.
* Those seniors sure do love those Early Bird Specials.
* Be sure to pick up a bag of Werther’s candy on the merch table.
* The Stones have reworked some of their classic songs just for this tour:
– It’s Only Crescent Rolls (But I Like Them)
– Hey, You, Get Off On Mah Jong
– 2000 Light Years From The Home
– Let’s Spend The Night Talking Weather
– Brown Liver Spots
– Help Me Up
– Is It Tuesday?
– Little Red Lobster
– You Can’t Always Get What You Want at Walgreens
– Can’t You Hear Me Knocking, Turn Up Your Hearing Aid
– Have You Seen Your Mother, Baby, Watching Blue Bloods Reruns
– Honky Horn Woman… Drivers
– Shufflin’ Jack Flash
– Angie-oplasty
CLIP: Here’s a commercial for the upcoming tour: our classic “Rolling Bones” parody spot.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)(com)/prep/wp-content/uploads/04-08-TheRollingBones(dot)mp3

THE BUZZ

SLEEPTALKING

Reddit asked, “What’s the strangest thing you’ve heard someone say in their sleep?” Some of the responses:
– “Girlfriend said, ‘We gotta go to the bean party. Beaaaannn paaaarty. It’s only 6 percent.'”
– “Husband was dead asleep, and all of a sudden, he giggles, says ‘monolith,’ and goes right back to sleeping normally.”
– “My wife tried to sell me an insurance policy in her sleep.”
– “The cheese is in my pocket.”
– “It’s hard to fold mustard in half”
– “It smells like lawnmowers in here.”
– “Apparently, one night I said to my girlfriend, ‘Give me your teeth, I’ll clean them.’”
– “My husband said, ‘Now what am I supposed to do with all these stupid monkeys?’”
– “My dad start laughing in the middle of the night, waking my mom. She asked him, ‘What is so funny?’ He says, ‘I just remembered something from mesosoic era,’ rolled over and started snoring.”
– “Boyfriend said, ‘Get the hot dogs ready.’ I said, ‘What?’ He said, ‘Because I’m SANTAAAAAA….'”
– “I’m petting the raindrops, that’s how they get their shape, duh.”
– “There’s a dinosaur in the kitchen, I’m not keeping it.”
– Husband sat bolt upright in bed and pointed across the room and said, ‘Right there, that’s where the body is,’ Then laid down and was snoring again in a minute. But then he said, ‘Tacos.'”
* PHONE TOPIC: Do you keep a log of what your partner says in their sleep? Some people do. Call in and share it.

U.S. NEWS

MAN ATTEMPTS TO ROB BANK WITH CAN OF PRINGLES

A man attempted to rob an Atlanta, Georgia, bank armed with a gun and a Pringles can. The suspect entered a Truist Bank (yes, ‘Tru-IST,’ not ‘Trust’) around 9 a.m. Saturday, brandished a gun at an employee and then demanded cash from the drawer. When the employee couldn’t open the drawer, the would-be robber, carrying the Pringles can and gun, fled the scene.
* The chips were stacked against him.
* Look out – he’s got cholesterol!
* HE could have ended up in the can.
* If I was the teller, I would have said, “Here’s the money. You gonna finish those Pringles?”
* It’s actually a good move. Nobody will remember his face, but everyone’s going to remember the Pringles.
* You know what Al Capone said: “You can get much further with a can of Pringles and a gun than you can with a gun alone.”

LOTTERY WINNER SUES EX-PARTNER FOR BLABBING

A Maine man who won the $1.35 billion Mega Millions jackpot last January is suing his ex-partner for blabbing to his family about the win against his wishes. The unnamed man selected the one-time cash payment of $723.56 million that would give him just over $404 million after taxes. He claimed the winnings under a trust to keep his identity hidden. The woman – the mother of his daughter – signed a non-disclosure agreement requiring her to keep the man’s lottery win a secret until their daughter turned 18 in June 2032. The man agreed to provide her with support and ongoing security resources in exchange for her signing the NDA. But then she revealed the win to his father and stepmother, and the news spread to his sister and others. He is now asking the woman to reveal who else she told about his lottery win. He is seeking at least $100,000 for each time she violated the NDA.
* Yikes! She’s gonna need to win a lottery!
* So what’s his name already?
* The blame in Maine falls mainly on the dame.
* You can maybe see why they’re not together anymore.
* It’s like they say: You spill the tea, you’re left with crumpet crumbs.
* He won $1.35 billion but settled for $404 million? What a loser!

HELP WANTED: CHEESE EATERS

The University of Wisconsin’s Center for Dairy Research is looking to hire some cheese eaters. The center needs five part-time cheese tasters to evaluate the stretchiness, meltability, and flavor of Wisconsin cheeses. The center is hired to conduct scientific research on products for companies that use cheese in their products, like pizza makers. The pay is $15 an hour. So far, about 250 people have applied for the five slots. One part of the hiring process asks applicants to detect subtle differences in various cheeses, including notes of acidity, bitterness, and saltiness.
* And that’s just for analyzing cheese farts.
* Do you have to provide your own crackers?
* Not sure I’ve ever bought cheese based on “stretchiness.”
* If you’re interested, send your application to The Big Cheese who runs the place.
* And they say no perfect job exists.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

A.I. TRANSLATES CHICKEN

A team of researchers in Japan claims to have figured out a way to translate the clucking of chickens with the use of artificial intelligence. The team from the University of Tokyo came up with an A.I. system capable of interpreting various emotional states in chickens. By listening to many hours of many chickens clucking, the program is able, they say, to determine chicken hunger, fear, anger, contentment, excitement, and distress.
* It’s not so good on regret, humility, dismay or smugness.
* We’re finally putting this massive computing power to good use, finding out if chickens are hungry.
* Mostly, they’ve learned, the chickens are just standing around in the slaughter pen saying, “Well, crap.”
* Besides translating chicken, the A.I. also asks anybody who passes by to “Please delete me!”
* Cock-a-doodle dumb.

TRENDING

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE MACY’S PARADE

The 97th Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade happens in New York City tomorrow morning (Thanksgiving). Here are some things you can expect to see:
– Celebrities and has-beens in the parade include: Cher, Ashley Park (“Emily in Paris”), Bell Biv Devoe, Brandy,
Chicago, Korean boy band ENHYPEN, En Vogue, actor Jabari Banks, country star Jessie James Decker, Jon Batiste, Paul Russell, Pentatonix, and Miss America Grace Stanke.
New Balloons:
– Blue Cat and Chugs (NFT characters).
– Leo, character from a new Adam Sandler animated movie
– Monkey D. Luffy, a Netflix cartoon character.
– Uncle Dan, from an upcoming animated comedy, Migration.
Plus traditional characters Snoopy, Po from Kung Fu Panda, and the Pillsbury Doughboy.
And – get this – a float sponsored by Solo Stove smokeless fire pits. If this sounds familiar, this is the firepit that Snoop Dogg just conned every media outlet in promoting

“KARATE KID” SEQUEL GONNA MESS WITH YOUR MIND

Ralph Macchio and Jackie Chan are teaming up for the next film in the Karate Kid universe. The actors each starred in a Karate Kid movie – Macchio in the first one, in 1984, along with the late Pat Morita, and Jackie Chan in a 2010 remake with Jaden Smith. Both Macchio and Chan made the announcement in a video posted to YouTube Tuesday, in which they revealed they’re looking for “the next Karate Kid” in a global casting search.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

TOMORROW – Thanksgiving
Dec. 21, Thursday – Winter begins, winter solstice occurs at 10:27 P.M. EST
Dec. 25, Monday – Christmas
Dec. 31, Sunday – New Year’s Eve
Jan. 1, Monday – New Year’s Day 2024

BIRTHDAYS

Dacre Montgomery (actor, Billy Hargrove in “Stranger Things”) … 29
Scarlett Johansson (actress) … 39
Mark Ruffalo (actor, “All the Light We Cannot See,” Bruce Banner in “Avengers” movies) … 56
Mariel Hemmingway (actress, “Manhattan”) … 62
Jamie Lee Curtis (actress, “Scream Queens”) … 65
“Little Steven” Van Zandt (guitarist w Bruce Springsteen’s E Street Band, songwriter, arranger, record producer, radio disc jockey and actor) … 73
Terry Gilliam (animator/director ex-Monty Python man) … 83

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I’m not anxious to starve myself. For me, it’s not at all sexy to be ultra-thin.”

(A) Patton Oswalt
(B) James Corden
(C) Scarlett Johansson

ANSWER: (C) Scarlett Johansson

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

1990 – U. S. President George Bush (the elder) visited U.S. troops in Saudi Arabia during Thanksgiving.
* The troops were excited to have a real live turkey for the holiday.

1963 – U.S. President John F. Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas.
* We should know the truth about a conspiracy any time now.

1938 – A Coelacanth, a pre-historic fish thought to be extinct, was caught off the coast of South Africa.
* They caught a pre-historic fish? How could it possibly have lived that long?

1917 – The National Hockey League was founded.
* Dentists across North America observe this as a holiday.

1910 – Arthur Knight patented steel shaft golf clubs.
* And within weeks, thousands of golfers broke their knees.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2019 – Pollstar published their list of the top touring artists of the 2010s in North America. U2 came in first with a gross of $1,038,104,132, followed by The The Rolling Stones ($929,196,083), Ed Sheeran ($922,361,663), Taylor Swift ($899,627,048) and Bon Jovi ($868,715,392).

2010 – After just one week of availability on the iTunes store, The Beatles sold more than 450,000 albums and 2 million individual songs. The Fab Four’s debut on iTunes was accompanied by an extensive world-wide marketing campaign.

2005 – Poems written by Bob Dylan in his college days sold for $78,000 at a New York City auction. The 16 pages of poems were the first known time Robert Zimmerman used the Dylan name and came from his studies at the University of Minnesota during 1959-60.

2004 – Ozzy Osbourne struggled with a burglar who escaped with jewelry worth about $3.4 million from his Buckinghamshire, England mansion. Osbourne told reporters that he had the masked raider in a headlock as he tried to stop him. The burglar broke free and jumped 30 feet from a first floor window. A large amount of jewelry was stolen in the raid in which two burglars were involved.

2002 – The surviving members of The Doors, Ray Manzarek and Robby Krieger, announced they would record and tour again with a new line up including ex-Cult singer Ian Astbury and former Police drummer Stewart Copeland. Original drummer John Densmore was not able to take part because of severe tinnitus.

1998 – Alanis Morissette was at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie.”

1997 – INXS singer Michael Hutchence was found dead in his hotel suite in Sydney. He was 37. Hutchence’s body was found at 11:50 am naked behind the door to his room. He had apparently hanged himself with his own belt, and the buckle broke away and his body was found kneeling on the floor and facing the door. It had been suggested that his death resulted from an act of auto eroticism, no forensic or other evidence to substantiate that suggestion was found.

1991 – Alice Cooper came to the rescue of two fans, Patrick and Dee Ann Kelly, whose California home was about to be re-possessed. Patrick had painted Cooper’s face on the house to help sell the property. Mr. Cooper signed autographs to help raise money for the couple.

1990 – Rolling Stone Bill Wyman announced that his 17-month marriage to model Mandy Smith was over.

1976 – Jerry Lee Lewis was arrested for drunk driving after driving his Rolls Royce into a ditch.

1975 – KC and the Sunshine Band started a two-week run at No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “That’s The Way (I Like It),” the group’s second U.S. No.1 of the year.

1971 – Isaac Hayes was at No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Theme From Shaft.”

1965 – Bob Dylan married Sara Lowndes in New York. She filed for divorce in 1977.

1955 – RCA paid the unheard of sum of $25,000 to Sam Phillips of Memphis, TN for the rights to the music of a truck driver from Tupelo, Mississippi – Elvis Presley.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. Crayons are the most likely thing kids will put up their noses. THIS is #2. What is it??
A French fry

2. About 65 kids in the U.S. go to the hospital every day for injuries related to THESE. What are they?
Shopping carts

3. Doctors warn that children who wear THIS are more likely to end up in the hospital. What is it?
A superhero costume

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