WEDNESDAY, May 4 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, May 4, 2022
(Print button is at bottom of post. To print with larger type, cut and paste content into a document, and print that document.)

COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: A & M AUTOLAND – Free Iron; THE ONLY MORNING SHOW IN TOWN

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

BIRD DAY (Not to be confused with National Bird Day and Migratory Bird Day)
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“People love birds. Bird watching is a favorite pastime of millions of people. It is the most popular of hobbies, and can be enjoyed by everyone regardless of age. Bird Day is the oldest of the days set aside to recognize birds. According to the U.S. Library of Congress, Bird Day was first observed on May 4, 1894. It was started by Charles Almanzo Babcock, superintendent of schools in Oil City, Pennsylvania. By 1910, Bird Day was widely celebrated, often in conjunction with Arbor Day. Bird Day and Arbor Day events are focused upon conservation training and awareness.”

INTERNATIONAL FIREFIGHTER’S DAY

INTERNATIONAL RESPECT FOR CHICKENS DAY

LEMONADE DAY

NATIONAL BIKE TO SCHOOL DAY

NATIONAL CANDIED ORANGE PEEL DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“National Candied Orange Peel Day is dedicated to … you guessed it … candied orange peels! Now, just what the heck is a candied orange peel? And, is it edible? Yes, it’s edible. If you are a chef or a baker, then you know just what it is, and how to use it. For the rest of us, we likely have enjoyed it in seasonal baked goods all of our lives, without even knowing we have eaten it. Candied orange peels are a boiled, sliced, sugar-added treat. You can eat them by themselves. But most often, they are used in holiday cookies, snacks, and fruitcake. On this day, bake some cookies or other recipes that use candied orange peels. Then, eat and enjoy!”

NATIONAL ORANGE JUICE DAY

PETITE AND PROUD DAY
The Holidays Of Year website says this:
“For everyone under 5’4″, you have a day where you can be tiny and glad! Are you tired of people making derogatory remarks regarding your size, such as: half pint, vertically tested or titch? Petite And Proud Day is all about celebrating our absence of height and the benefits it brings. For instance, we could press into small spaces, we don’t bang our heads on low ceilings and we can suit youngsters’ garments, which conserves us cash! Obviously short individuals live longer than their lankier counterparts, which is absolutely worth commemorating.”

RENEWAL DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Renewal Day is an absolutely spectacular day. It’s a day of new, and old, beginnings. Things get old and out of sorts. We lose touch with friends, loved ones, and relationships. For whatever reason, we let ‘it’ go. Well, whatever ‘it’ is, today is the day to renew it, rejuvenate it, and bring the spark back into it.”

STAR WARS DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“It’s all because of a play on words! Star Wars Day is May the Fourth, because a famous quote from the hugely popular science fiction series blockbuster is ‘May the Force (Fourth) be with you.’ Some call this Day ‘Luke Skywalker Day.’ While we are so glad that this day exists, its creation was a fluke. In 2005, a German TV interview erroneously translated this famous Star Wars quote as ‘We are with you on May 4th.'”

May is:

Chip Your Pet Month / Pet Month
Date Your Mate Month
International Civility Awareness Month
National Barbeque Month
National Bike Month
National Egg Month
National Hamburger Month
National Military Appreciation Month
National Salad Month
National Salsa Month
Older Americans Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

NEW SPORT: ICE FIGHTING

The best part of ice hockey? The fights, right? That’s why there’s a new sport coming out later this month: Ice Wars. Two hockey players, in full pads and helmets and skates, no sticks, no pucks, no nets. At the whistle, the two guys start beating the heck out of each other. A match will consist of two one-minute rounds with a 30-second “ice breaker” in case of a tie. The winner gets a cash prize. The man behind Ice Wars is A.J. Galante, the former manager of the Danbury Trashers, a minor league hockey team so violent and controversial that it became the subject of a Netflix documentary titled “Untold: Crime and Penalties.” Although Ice Wars doesn’t currently have any NHL players on its roster, it does have a number of players from the American Hockey League as well as smaller leagues. The first Ice Wars airs live May 21st on the FITE streaming service.
* It’s like boxing on banana peels!
* The first rule of Ice Wars is to get the puck out of there?
* Remember the Ice Capades? This is Ice Kapow.
* Aren’t they going to have to Zamboni the blood off the ice between every round?
* I can’t think of a better reason to subscribe to yet one more streaming service.

SPORTS ILLUSTRATED PREGNANT SWIMSUIT MODEL

Katrina Scott is the first visibly pregnant woman to grace the pages of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue. She’s posed in the pages of the magazine in a white swimsuit, with her pregnant belly on full display. Scott comments, “In this issue, I hope to represent all the women out there that are creating life, feeling all the feels, and embracing change as they look to the future, especially those having difficult fertility journeys. I am with you, and you are never alone.”
* “And check out this butt,” she adds.
* They should start calling it the Sports Illustrated That’s My Fetish Swimsuit Issue.
* Sports Illustrated is like Archie Comics. Every couple years they do something to get in the news and remind us that they still exist.
* Let’s see … who haven’t they put in a swimsuit yet? Oh! Grandmas!

THE BUZZ

BOSS MAKES WORKERS SIGN A PLEDGE

A Redditor, known as Cas Baxter, claimed his wife was asked to sign a pledge before starting her job. The document consists of 13 rules workers must follow. Here is what is says:
1. I believe that I have won the greatest lottery of all time. I am alive, I walk the Earth, I live in America. Above all things, I am Grateful.
2. I believe I am entitled to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Nothing more. I also understand that happiness and the pursuit of happiness are not the same thing.
3. I believe there is no such thing as a bad job. I believe that all jobs are opportunities and it is up to me to make the best of them.
4. I do not follow my passion. I bring it with me. I believe that any job can be done with passion and enthusiasm.
5. I believe that my safety is my responsibility. I understand that being in compliance does not necessarily keep me out of danger.
6. I believe the best way to distinguish myself at work is to show up early, stay late and cheerfully volunteer for every crappy task there is.
7. I believe that the most annoying sounds in the world are whining and complaining. I will never make them. If I am unhappy at work, I will either find a new job or find a way to be happy.
8. I believe that my education is my responsibility, and absolutely critical to my success. I am motivated to learn as much as I can from whatever sources are available to me.
9. I believe that I am a product of my choices – not my circumstances. I will never blame anyone for my shortcomings and I will never accept credit for something I didn’t do.
10. I understand that the world is not fair and I am okay with that. I do not resent the success of others.
11. I believe that all people are created equal. I also believe that all people make choices. Some choose to be lazy. Some choose to sleep in. I choose to work my butt off.
12. I believe that a cell phone is not a priority and I can work my shift without using it. If I have kids I remember when I used to have to call my parents’ work and ask for them by their full name and they can do the same.
13. Stay in your lane and do your job to the best of your ability.
* Signed, Ayn Rand.
* I don’t see anything in here about smoke breaks.
* This is pretty strong stuff just to work at Arby’s.
* Well, I know one bunch of workers who just can’t wait to unionize.
* And one boss who can’t wait for robots.
* Something tells me this guy is not a fan of Critical Race Theory.
* PHONE TOPIC: Would you work for a guy who made you sign this pledge? Isn’t every one of these things the way to succeed in America? (Not counting discrimination, bigotry, cultural oppression, dirt-poor wages, not being born to wealth, disability, and bad bosses.)

STUDY: POINT YOUR FURNITURE IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION

A new study claims that by pointing your bed and other furniture in the right direction, your well-being could greatly improve. A team from Maharishi International University in Fairfield, Iowa looked at 40 years of research into the practice of what has been variously known as Maharishi Vastu architecture, or “Zen,” or “flow.” They found that where certain objects are placed inside a building — as well as the direction they face — can impact everything from stress, to sleep, to mental health. According to the study:
– If your head is facing to the east or south when you sleep, you’re more likely to have a lower heart rate, blood pressure, and cholesterol levels.
– Meanwhile, people with homes that have an entrance facing south display poorer mental health and have more financial problems.
– Facing east while you work leads to greater brain coherence and helps workers complete tasks faster.
“Modern medicine now recognizes the powerful effects of the ‘envirome’ on health,” says study co-author Robert Schneider, Dean of the College of Integrative Medicine at Maharishi International University.
* What kind of university is this? I bet they don’t even have a football team.
* This report is nothing but baloney, bunk, hogwash, hooey, poppycock and rubbish. The only true guide to arranging your furniture is feng shui.
* I’ve done research that shows people who rearrange their furniture to these specifications are prone to back injuries and muscle strain.
* Speaking of where to put things, I have an idea where Robert Schneider can put this study.
* There should be a law that says “research” is not just looking at everybody else’s research. Do the legwork, people. No one likes a lazy scientist. Except the far right.

U.S. NEWS

MAN TAKES ROOMMATE, DOG HOSTAGE BECAUSE MOM WOULDN’T BUY HIM CIGARETTES

Last Saturday in Seattle, Washington, police were called to a report of a man who had taken his roommate and the roommate’s dog hostage. The suspect had asked his mother to buy him a new cellphone and some cigarettes, but when she refused, he told his roommate that he was holding him hostage until he received the items. The man then barricaded the front door and refused to let the victim out, while threatening to kill the victim and the dog. Because there were numerous swords located throughout the apartment, the roommate was concerned the man might follow through with his threats. He barricaded himself in his bedroom and called police. A hostage negotiation team and SWAT officers were called, rescued the roommate and his dog, and arrested the suspect.
* And he couldn’t even make his one phone call because mom didn’t buy him the phone.
* Obviously this is all her fault.
* Dummy! Verizon and T-Mobile are both giving you free phones when you sign up.
* Either way this turns out, someone in that apartment’s gonna be looking for a roommate.

ALLIGATOR SNEAKS INTO GARAGE, EATS DIET COKES

In Naples, Florida, Karyn and Jamie Dobson heard a crash in their garage. They went to check, and there was an 8-foot alligator, backing away, with froth from leaking Diet Coke cans all over the floor. The couple had purchased several cases of sodas for a party a few days later. The alligator slipped in after the couple returned from walking their dog and neglected to close the garage door. The Dobsons recently moved to Florida from the Midwest, and weren’t aware of alligator etiquette. A trapper caught the alligator and relocated it to a place with few people.
* So they took it to a Florida library?
* As if alligators aren’t cranky enough, now this one won’t be able to fall asleep.
* The gator-repelling properties of Diet Coke are well-known in the south.
* Besides not leaving your garage door open for alligators, there are other rules newcomers should know about Florida:
– People without pants high on bath salts have the right-of-way over people without shirts who are merely drunk.
– If there are no motorized shopping carts left at the Publix, you can use your rider mower.
– Go ahead and pee on anything that resembles a jellyfish sting.
– Bring your winter coat, for when the temperature dips below 70.
– Have a plan for hurricane season, and that plan must include beer.

TRENDINGMAREN MORRIS WANTS TO STAR IN “WICKED”

Country singer Maren Morris took to Twitter Sunday to share that she would like to star in the Broadway production, “Wicked.” She wrote: “Gonna send an audition tape in for Wicked on Broadway. What the hell. Let’s see what happens. I’ve hosted JimmyKimmelLive, I’ve sung with DollyParton, flown with the AFThunderbirds, hell, I’ve cut bangs…I’m into taking things head on. Fail or succeed. Might as well not be coy. Chase your weird dreams down.” She was unclear on which part she wanted, but when asked she replied, “I identify heavily as an Elphaba, but good god her songs are high.”

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

May 8, Sunday – Mother’s Day
May 30, Monday – Memorial Day
June 14, Tuesday – Flag Day
June 19, Sunday – Father’s Day
June 21, Tuesday – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 5:14 A.M. EDT)

BIRTHDAYS

Lance Bass (singer with NSync) … 43
Will Arnett (actor, “Arrested Development,” the voice of “Bojack Horseman”) … 52
Ana Gasteyer (comedian, actress, “Suburgatory,” “The Good Wife,” “The Goldbergs,” “Saturday Night Live”) … 55
Randy Travis (country singer) … 63
Mick Mars (guitarist with Mötley Crüe) … 71
Jackie Jackson (singer with the Jackson 5) … 71

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I’m a hopeless romantic.”

(A) Vladimir Putin
(B) Kim Jong Un
(C) Lance Bass

ANSWER: (C) Lance Bass

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

COVID-19 in History:
2020- In what would turn out to be premature relaxations, countries in Europe began a cautious reopening after COVID-19 lockdowns, Italy restarted construction and takeaways, Germany reopened schools, and India began lifting some restrictions in regions with fewer COVID-19 cases.

2012 – In Las Vegas, NV, Google received the first self-driving vehicle testing license.
* If you think teenagers’ car insurance rates are high, imagine when there’s no driver at all!

2007 – Hotel heiress Paris Hilton was sentenced to jail for violating probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case. She served 23 days behind bars.
* Not the kind of bars she was used to.

2001 – Bonny Lee Bakley, wife of actor Robert Blake, was shot to death in Los Angeles. Blake was later charged with murder and acquitted, but found liable in a California civil court for her wrongful death. He was eventually ordered to pay Bakley’s three children $15 million, after which he declared bankruptcy.
* Some people will do anything to get their names back in the news.

1998 – Unabomber Theodore Kaczynski was given four life sentences plus 30 years by a federal judge in Sacramento, Calif., under a plea agreement that spared him the death penalty.
* Four life sentences! So he better hope there’s no such thing as reincarnation.

1971 – Female nudity was seen for the first time on network television on PBS when Valerie Perrine appeared nude in the production of “Steambath.”
* And “Pledge Week” donations have never been as high since.

1968 – The McDonald’s Big Mac was introduced.
* To America’s thighs.

1965 – An IBM programmer introduced the “Sketchpad,” a computer program that featured the first interactive window display and primitive pointing device, the forerunner of today’s mouse and touchpad activated programs.
* And a young Bill Gates looked at it and thought, “Hmmm …”

1932 – Murderous gangster Al Capone was finally jailed for tax evasion.
* Racketeering, bootlegging, murder … that’s nothing compared to the wrath of the feds when you don’t pay your taxes!

1927 – The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences was formed.
* Very impressive. Tell me, would “Freddie Got Fingered” be considered Motion Picture Art or Science?

1886 – The first practical phonograph, better known as the gramophone, was patented.
* The what? Better known as the what?

1626 – Indians sold Manhattan Island to Dutch explorer Peter Minuit for $24 in cloth and buttons.
* Mind you, the cloth and buttons were REALLY PRETTY.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2003 – Madonna was at No.1 on the US album charts with ‘American Life,’ the singer’s fifth US No.1.

1997 – Courtney Love placed an ad in The Seattle Times selling the house she had shared with Kurt Cobain. The five bedroom, four bathroom house was on the market for $3m. The carriage house where Kurt Cobain died had been knocked down during refurbishment.

1991 – Phil Collins received an Honorary Doctor of Music Degree from Berklee College of Music during ceremonies in Boston.

1991 – The state of Texas celebrated its first ZZ Top Day, celebrating the band’s success across the world.

1976 – Kiss performed their first concert.

1973 – Led Zeppelin opened their 1973 U.S. tour, which was billed as the “biggest and most profitable rock & roll tour in the history of the United States.” The group grossed over $3 million from the dates.

1959 – The first Grammy Awards were announced.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. About 70,000 people will do THIS for the first time today. What is it?
Use the internet

2. The average American does THIS dangerous activity 32 times a year. What is it?
Eating while driving

3. A generation ago, everyone did THIS, but today 35 percent of adults say they never have. What is it?
Write a check

(c) 2022
MORNING SIDEKICK RADIO SHOW PREP & COMEDY
8062 West Massey Circle
Littleton, CO 80128
USA
morningsidekick(at)gmail(dot)(com)
Tel: 303-727-9111