WEDNESDAY, May 31 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, May 31, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: A & M AUTOLAND – Clone; THE ONLY MORNING SHOW IN TOWN

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL MACAROON DAY

NATIONAL SPEAK IN COMPLETE SENTENCES DAY

SAVE YOUR HEARING DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Save Your Hearing Day reminds us that our hearing is vital, and needs to be protected. Many hearing loss problems are avoidable. Hearing loss can result from a variety of reasons, including: health, genetic and environmental causes. On the environmental side, repeated long term exposure to loud, high decibel noises can overtime cause hearing loss. This cause, in particular, is often avoidable. It’s been suggested that this bit of rock-n-roll trivia may have contributed to the establishment of Save Your Hearing Day: On May 31, 1976, The Who played at the Charlton Athletic Grounds in England and made the Guinness Book of World Records as the loudest rock band ever. Their musical performance measured 76,000 watts and 120 decibels.”

WORLD NO TOBACCO DAY

May is:

Chip Your Pet Month / Pet Month
Date Your Mate Month
International Civility Awareness Month
National Barbeque Month
National Bike Month
National Egg Month
National Hamburger Month
National Military Appreciation Month
National Salad Month
National Salsa Month
Older Americans Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

MARTIN SCORCESE GETS POPE’S BLESSING TO MAKE ANOTHER MOVIE ABOUT JESUS

Director Martin Scorsese has his next film project in the works— and it’s about Jesus Christ. Scorcese says he even received a blessing from Pope Francis for his upcoming movie. After attending the Cannes Film Festival last week, Scorsese visited Italy and had a chance to meet the 86-year-old pontiff in a private audience. The director said, “I responded to the Pope’s appeal to artists the only way I know how: by imagining and writing a screenplay for a film about Jesus,” he said. “And I’m about to start making it.”
* Because that first one went over SO well.
* What’s he going to call it? “The Second to the Last Temptation of Christ”? “Good Fella”? “Gangs of Gethsemane”? “The King of Kings of Comedy”?
* The Pope said, “Fine, but can you work that Joe Pesci into it? I love that guy.”

POST-TAYLOR SWIFT AMNESIA

Multiple fans are experiencing signs of amnesia after attending Taylor Swift’s current “Eras” concerts. Each show contains 44 songs, and each show lasts more than three hours. It’s being called “post-concert amnesia.”
– Jenna Tocatlian, 25, said she spent so long dreaming about what it would be like to see the singer in person, she later claimed she couldn’t grasp what was reality. “It’s hard to put together what you actually witness,” blaming sensory overload. Tocatlian said that during the hourlong wait to leave the stadium, she was looking back at the setlist and realized she couldn’t remember if Taylor had actually performed the songs she was expecting to hear. She says, “If I didn’t have the 5-minute video that my friend kindly took of me jamming to “Better Man,” I probably would have told everyone that it didn’t happen.”
– Nicole Booz, 32, from Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, attended Swift’s May 14 show in Philadelphia — and she described it as “an out-of-body experience, as though it didn’t really happen to me.”
– A person on Reddit wrote: “I did not touch my phone once during the concert. Not one pic or video taken during the concert because I wanted to live in the moment. I would say I can’t remember a solid 50% of the concert. Everyday I see something on tik tok or instagram and think “ahh that must be new” only to find out that’s it’s not, I just don’t remember it.”
– Another: “I’ve been saying it was the best night of my life that I don’t remember at all.”
– Another Reddit comment: “I only took 2 photos at the Eras tour and i remember very little. this is a real phenomenon.”
* This is what happens when you train an entire generation of children to have a 20-second attention span.
* So crowded nobody’s brains were getting enough oxygen?
* If you can’t remember it, you can ask for your money back, right?
* Taylor Swift’s managers are thinking, “Well, if they can’t remember, they ought to come back and see it again.”
* How does Taylor feel about it? She put together a three-hour show that just as well could have been 45 minutes.
* Can’t remember? The Taylor Swift: Eras Tour DVD will remind you, for only $49.95 coming soon!
* This is funny, because I’ve always found her music to be forgettable.

THE BUZZ

WHAT TO EXPECT FROM RAISING A TEENAGER

A parent asked the readers of Fark.com, “I am now the parent of a teenager. What should I look forward to?” Some of the responses:
– “Mood swings, lots of quiet, lots of *UGH*.”
– “Skyrocketing grocery bills. And never anything to eat at home.”
– “The stench of male teens – either natural or Axe-enhanced.”
– “For the love of god, knock (and leave a long pause) before entering bedrooms.”
– “Lots and lots of rebellion. You will become the uncool pariah your kid can’t be seen with any more. You will know and understand nothing, and everything you do to protect them from the world will be totally unfair and can they please have a hundred bucks?”
– (For dads) “You need to invest in a pair of white New Balance sneakers.”
– “Girls are often picky eaters but if they invite a boy over for lunch or dinner be prepared for him to eat everything on the table.”
– “Told my daughter to clean her room and she said ” Why do you care? You don’t have to look at it.” So I took off her bedroom door.”
– “Patience. Remember that everything that happens to them is the most important thing that ever happened in the history of happening.”
– “Learn to speak Mumble.”
– “Being able to kick them out in 5 years.”
* PHONE TOPIC: What are your challenges in raising a teenager?

U.S. NEWS

BURGLARS ESCAPE IN KAYAKS

Burglars with kayaks and wearing wetsuits broke into a home on Yarrow Point in Washington state around 3:30 a.m. last Thursday. The burglars forced entry into the back glass door of the home, stole approximately $20,000 in cash from an unsecured safe, and escaped on kayaks into Lake Washington. The home was occupied at the time.
* You hate to see Eskimos gone bad.
* Did they make a rapid getaway?
* So they got 20 grand and a nice cardio workout.
* A kayak as a getaway vehicle. Canoe believe it?
* If they’re caught, that’ll be a paddlin’.

LAS VEGAS LOWERS ODDS OF YOU WINNING

The Las Vegas gambling industry is doing so well these days that they are willing to bet you won’t mind losing more money to them. The industry believes it has so many gamblers coming to the Strip that if can afford to weed out the undesirable low-rollers by lowering the odds and shrinking the payoff. They would rather have the higher-end gamblers. According to the Wall Street Journal, they are doing this in several ways:
– More than two-thirds of all blackjack tables on the Strip are now only offering only 6:5 payouts as opposed to more favorable 3:2 ratio they have historically offered when a player hits 21 on the first two cards. So a $10 bet only nets an additional two dollars in winnings instead of five dollars.
– The number of “triple zero” roulette tables has increased. These wheels feature an extra slot, thereby mathematically lowering the chance of winning. There were only a few in operation back in 2016; now there are 78 triple zero tables, and 111 double-zero tables.
– Casinos are also shutting down table games, citing the rising costs for paying their dealers, in favor of more automated electronic games.
* Americans hear news like this and they say, “Challenge accepted!”
* You mean I can lose even more money faster? Count me in!
* How bad does it have to get ’til it’s as bad as lottery tickets?
* “The money that comes to Vegas, stays in Vegas.”
* If this is true, I’m saving my money for more important things, like sports betting.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

AUSTRALIAN DIVER PRIES CROCODILE OFF HIS HEAD

An Australian man had to pry a crocodile’s jaws off his own head over the weekend. Marcus McGowan, 51, of Queensland, was snorkeling off the Charles Hardy Islands with his wife and friends on Saturday when he felt what he initially thought was a shark. Then he realized it was just a crocodile. McGowan was able to pry its jaws open just far enough to get his head out. The crocodile attacked a second time, but he managed to push it away, although it bit his right hand. He swam to the safety of the boat which was coming after they heard his screams for help. He was airlifted to a hospital and treated for scalp lacerations and puncture wounds. McGowan, an experienced diver, said he was just “in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
* He means anywhere in Australia, between midnight and 11:59 pm.
* “He thought it was a shark but it was just a crocodile.” Just a crocodile. Spoken like a true Australian.
* And as he walked out of the hospital, he was attacked by dingos. That’s just how it is there.
* Other than that, how was the snorkeling trip?

ALMANACNOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

June 14, Wednesday – Flag Day
June 18, Sunday – Father’s Day
June 21, Wednesday – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 10:58 a.m. EDT)
July 4, Tuesday – U.S. Independence Day
Sept. 4, Monday – Labor Day
Sept. 11, Monday – Patriot Day
Sept. 23, Saturday – Fall begins (Autumn Equinox is 2:50 a.m. EDT)

BIRTHDAYS

Colin Farrell (actor, “The Banshees of Inisherin”) … 47
Phil Keoghan (Host of “The Amazing Race”) … 56
Brooke Shields (actress) … 58
Darryl “DMC” McDaniels (rapper with Run DMC) … 59
Lea Thompson (actress, “Switched at Birth,” “Caroline in the City”) … 62
Chris Elliott (actor, “Schitt’s Creek”) … 63
Joe Namath (football Hall-of-famer) … 80
Sharon Gless (actress, Christine Cagney in “Cagney and Lacey”) … 80
Peter Yarrow (folksinger/musician with Peter, Paul & Mary) … 85
Clint Eastwood (actor, director) … 93

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I don’t believe in pessimism.”

(A) Droopy Dog
(B) Wiley Coyote
(C) Clint Eastwood

ANSWER: Clint Eastwood

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2009 – Millvina Dean, the last survivor of the 1912 sinking of the Titanic, died in England at age 97.
* Did she say exactly where she dropped the diamond necklace overboard?

2005 – Former FBI official W. Mark Felt stepped forward as “Deep Throat,” the secret Washington Post source that helped bring down President Richard M. Nixon during the Watergate scandal.
* “Do I get a prize?”

1990 – The sitcom “Seinfeld” premiered on NBC.
* “Get to high ground! Here comes the money!”

1995 – American and Britain announced that their nuclear missiles were no longer aimed at Russia.
* Oh, great! So now they’re just pointing any old place? Nice!

1911 – The Titanic was launched.
* Apparently, the launch was just an early publicity stunt for the Leonardo DiCaprio movie.

1907 – The first taxis began service in New York City.
* The weird part – back in 1907, taxi drivers actually spoke English!

1880 – The first U.S. national bicycle society was formed in Newport, RI. It was known as the League of American Wheelmen.
* Actually, it was just a cover for a society of guys who wanted to wear spandex shorts.

1678 – Lady Godiva made her famous naked ride through Coventry in a protest of taxes.
* She rode bare-back. And bare-front.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2016 – A report from the Midwest Medical Examiner’s Office in Minnesota said Prince died from an accidental overdose of the painkiller fentanyl. According to the autopsy report, Prince self-administered fentanyl, an opioid many times more powerful than heroin.

2014 – A Maserati and an unspecified amount of jewelry belonging to Miley Cyrus were stolen after her home in the San Fernando Valley, Los Angeles was burgled.

1998 – Geri Halliwell, also known as “Ginger Spice” of the Spice Girls, confirmed she was leaving the group.

1982 – R.E.M. signed a five-album deal with I.R.S. Records, an independent label based in California.

1976 – The Who played at the Charlton Athletic Grounds in England and made the Guinness Book of World Records as the loudest rock band ever. Their set was measured at 120 decibels.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. 60% of adults over 40 said they owned a pair of THESE while growing up. What are they?
Roller skates

2. For the average adult, there are only 3 days a month when they do not do THIS. What is it?
Spend money

3. According to a recent survey, 35% of adults say they look forward to doing this every day. What is it?
Checking the mail

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