WEDNESDAY, May 17 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, May 17, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: A & M AUTOLAND – No Bull; THE ONLY MORNING SHOW IN TOWN

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

INTERNATIONAL DAY AGAINST HOMOPHOBIA AND TRANSPHOBIA

NATIONAL CHERRY COBBLER DAY

NATIONAL WALNUT DAY

WORLD HYPERTENSION DAY

WORLD INFORMATION SOCIETY DAY

WORLD TELECOMMUNICATION DAY

May is:

Chip Your Pet Month / Pet Month
Date Your Mate Month
International Civility Awareness Month
National Barbeque Month
National Bike Month
National Egg Month
National Hamburger Month
National Military Appreciation Month
National Salad Month
National Salsa Month
Older Americans Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

LET’S DISCUSS JAMIE FOXX

(Note: We like Jamie Foxx. He’s a funny guy, a good actor, and all-around nice person. But…)
It’s time to talk about Jamie Foxx. It has been more than one month since the media has been reporting on Foxx’s unnamed “medical complication.” He’s not saying what it is, and no one has leaked it.
– First, it was reported that his stay in the hospital was being “extended.” Nobody even knew he was in the hospital. Then, while everybody was reporting that, Foxx’s daughter said he was “out of the hospital for weeks.”
– Now, a new report suggests the actor is working on physical rehabilitation “following a lengthy hospitalization.” TMZ quotes a source close to Foxx claiming he is “recovering well.” This is fine. The man is entitled to privacy.
– Meanwhile, Nick Cannon took over as host of the sixth season of the game show hosted by Foxx, “Beat Shazam.”
But now, Fox TV has announced that Jamie Foxx and daughter Corinne will soon host “We Are Family,” a game show with non-famous relatives of celebrities performing duets with their hidden famous family members.
* What the hell happened? Did he get run over by Jeremy Renner’s snowplow? Was he working on one of Jay Leno’s cars and caught fire?
* Maybe he caught Kevin Costner Syndrome – when you suddenly get sick of the project you’ve committed to, and bail.
* It’s nice Nick Cannon gets to do “Beat Shazam.” He’s got what – 23 kids to support?
* We all know how this is going to play out: There will be a two-hour Oprah special where it will be revealed what happened to him – mostly. Then, a book – “Sly Foxx” or “For Foxx Sake” – that reveals further information he didn’t tell Oprah. Followed by a three-day interview on “Good Morning America” – previewed on the ABC nightly news – with one last amazing story of recovery he didn’t write in the book. The following week comes the premier of the new TV game show.

NICK CANNON MIXED UP MOTHER’S DAY CARDS

Nick Cannon said on his radio show, “The Daily Cannon,” that he wrote personalized cards for the six mothers of his 12 children for Mother’s Day. But he accidentally mailed a card to one woman that was meant for another. Cannon said on his show, “I tried my best, I really did. I thought it would be really, really good” to “show people how you really feel ― write it down. I get the cards mixed up. So, when one baby mama reads the card about how I feel about the other baby mama.”
* Should have started every note with “To Whom It May Concern.”
* Just as long as you get the address right on the support checks, there won’t be a problem.
* Hallmark could make a fortune just selling custom Mother’s Day cards to Nick Cannon.
* I imagine, on Father’s Day, Nick’s mailman gets a hernia.
* It was a funny story, then they took a break for a condom commercial.

JANE FONDA SAW MICHAEL JACKSON NAKED

Jane Fonda saw Michael Jackson naked. The actress shocked Andy Cohen on “Watch What Happens Live” Monday when she revealed during a game of “Plead the Fifth” that she once saw the “Thriller” singer in his birthday suit. “He came and visited me when we were shooting ‘On Golden Pond,’ and I had a little cottage right on the lake, and it was a beautiful, moonlit night,” explained Fonda, who filmed the movie in 1980 when Jackson was 22 years old. “And you said, ‘Let’s skinny-dip,’” Cohen, 54, suggested. “No, he did!” Fonda replied. “He was skinny!” she recalled.
* Jane, that’s not what “skinny-dipping” means, but whatever.
* I’m waiting for Jane Fonda to say, “With the cold lake water, it was more like the Jackson 2, if you get me.”
* So she saw little Tito, huh?
* Michael asked her, “Wanna Be Starting Something?” and Jane said, “Beat It.”
* Huh. So even Andy Cohen can have a slow news day.

THE BUZZ

THE YOUNGSTERS ARE SPEAKING BRITISH THESE DAYS

Someone has noticed that kids today – Generation Z – are using fake British accents a lot. “Fake British accent” videos have over 188,000 views on TikTok, where young people say they use the voice whenever they feel uncomfortable. For example:
– 21-year-old Asher Lieberman says, “I was on a date recently ordering something, and the name of what I wanted came out wrong when I asked for it. So I just talked in a British accent for the rest of the order. It’s a defense mechanism, a kind of buffer from my actual personality.”
– In 2019, American parents on Twitter reported that their children were developing British accents because of all the Peppa Pig they watched.
– Thanks to streaming hits like The Crown and Bridgerton, and reality shows like Love Island, The Only Way Is Essex and Too Hot to Handle, young Americans feel a connection with the accent when their own lives feel awkward, and they break out the accent.
* Well, looks like they’ve run out of news, innit?
* Feed these kids some jellied eels. They’ll stop the accent real quick.
* At least they’re not talking with an Australian accent. (* Or, phonetically, “en Aww-stryle-yeen eck-sint.”
* If you’re going to speak British, you have to know the words. Here are some British words, and what they mean in American English.
– wardrobe: closet
– waistcoat: vest
– fringe: bangs
– cot: crib
– torch: flashlight
– bonnet: hood of a car
– aubergine: eggplant
– courgette: zucchini
– flannel: washcloth
– trolley: shopping cart
– banger: sausage
– trainers: sneakers
– underground: subway
– noughts and crosses: tic-tac-toe

DID YOU CHANGE YOUR BABY’S NAME?

A woman on Reddit confessed that she has changed her baby’s name twice. In the post, the woman explained that she and her husband decided on the name Louisa before their daughter was born. But her “husband was getting cold feet” about the name, so they changed it before signing the birth certificate. This time it was Lucia. Now, at three-and-a-half months old, the mom wants to change it again. She writes, “I just don’t love the sound of Lucia and fear saddling (her) with the burden of correcting (everyone’s) pronunciation.” Searching for something that “has a lot of meaning,” she now wants to name her daughter Juliette – a combination of her late mother’s name, Judy Elliott. Although she is afraid that her family will think she and her husband are “totally ridiculous” for changing the name for a third time.
* Ridiculous? No. Unfit? Probably.
* Ridiculous? CELEBRITY baby names are ridiculous. “Juliette” is nice and normal.
* How’d you like to be in the room when these two are deciding where to go out to dinner?
* Actually, I’ve never been crazy about the name “Reddit.”
PHONE TOPIC: Did you change your baby’s name after it was born? How long after?

U.S. NEWS

FLORIDA MAN: TURTLE IN ROAD LEADS TO CHAIN REACTION CRASH

On Tuesday, a turtle in the middle of the road led to a chain reaction crash in Florida . It started when a good Samaritan stopped in the middle of U.S. 331 near DeFuniak Springs to help a turtle cross the road. (* What da Funiak is going on in Florida!?) The 34-year-old driver was already out of his pickup when five other drivers began slamming their brakes. Then came the 18-wheeler, which started bouncing off cars like a giant pinball. The crash ended with the semi-truck hitting the Samaritan’s pickup, straddling the turtle, swerving across a grass median and coming to rest across two oncoming traffic lanes. No one was seriously hurt in the crash. The turtle survived.
* A little shell-shocked, though.
* So human reflexes aren’t much faster than a turtle’s.
* Ironically, all the cars were towed to the nearby Shell station.
* Did they at least get the turtle for jaywalking?
CONTEST: Here’s another opportunity to play the “Wheel of Florida Man” game! Play the sounder, and ask your listeners to fill in the blank: “In Florida on Tuesday morning, a (BLANK) led to a chain-reaction crash on a busy highway.”
AUDIO: “Wheel of Florida Man” intro.
AUDIO URL: morningsidekick(dot)(com)/prep/wp-content/uploads/WheelOfFloridaMan-Intro(dot)mp3

SOMEONE STOLE WING OF CRASHED PLANE

A week after a plane crash left a Georgia surgeon dead, authorities are now looking for whoever stole a wing of the destroyed aircraft. On May 7, Lionel Meadows, a surgeon from Commerce, Georgia, was flying alone in a small plane. He was caught up in a bad storm, the small plane crashed, and Meadows died a day later. The plane, a 1978 Cessna, crashed in Polk County, Tennessee, and officials began searching for pieces of the plane. They reported that on Monday night someone stole the right wing from the plane off the side of the road. A security camera captured the stolen wing being driven away from the crash site on the back of a blue pickup truck. Said a Polk County official, “Honestly if they would just take it back and put it where they got it, that would be good enough for me.”
* I always heard that Tennessee is full of right-wingers.
* Who drives down the road and thinks, “Hey – free airplane wing!”?
* So … if it was stolen, does that make it a hot wing?
* That thing is probably part of a moonshine operation by now.

ROBOT WILL HELP YOU FIND LOST THINGS

In Ontario, Canada, engineers at the University of Waterloo are working on a robot that can help you find lost things – car keys, medicine, eyeglasses, phones – almost anything. The initial focus of the project was to assist people with dementia find things. They started with a Fetch mobile manipulator robot, the kind that can reach and grab items. They added a camera and an object-detection algorithm, and programmed the computer to maintain a memory log of specific items within its camera view. The robot can recognize objects and also record the time and date an item enters or leaves its view. From there, they added an interface so human users can type in which objects they want the machine to track. The robot will display when and where it last spotted the specific object. Eventually, the robot will seek the item and retrieve it. Test runs have shown the robot is highly accurate. Moving forward, researchers plan on conducting user studies with people without disabilities, before including people with dementia.
* There are many nights I could have used this to help me find my dignity.
* “Fetch – where is my cat?” That will be very entertaining to watch.
* Then you’ll have to get a second Fetch robot for when you forget where you left your Fetch robot.
* Just curious – can it find Waldo?
* The one thing you don’t want to say around this thing is, “I couldn’t find my butt with both hands.”

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

GOLDFISH LOST IN THE FLOOD, AND FOUND

In Devon, England, a goldfish has been reunited with its owner after it was swept away in a flood. The village of Newton Poppleford was battered by heavy rain last week. As people were cleaning up the mess, one woman clearing debris in a park came across a large goldfish – about five inches long, the kind that lives in a backyard pond – that had found its way into a muddy puddle. The owner was quickly found via a post on Facebook and the fish was returned.
* It “found its way” into a muddy puddle? Liked, hiked there?
* Oh, the hufishity.
* It’s the one that didn’t get away.
* I hope the owner was cited for not keeping their pet on a leash.
* Every now and then, Facebook is still relevant.
* Isn’t Newton Poppleford a magical zoologist in the “Fantastic Beasts” movies?

TRENDING

DAYTIME EMMYS POSTPONED DUE TO WRITERS STRIKE

The 50th Annual Daytime Emmys will be postponed due to the WGA Strike. The ceremony was planned for Friday, June 16 on CBS. The strike, which began on May 2, has also led to the cancellation of the Peabody Awards and unspecified changes to the upcoming Tony Awards.

PEYTON MANNING, LUKE BRYAN TO HOST CMA AWARDS

Football great Peyton Manning is returning to host the 2023 Country Music Association Awards with Luke Bryan. Manning and Bryan hosted last year’s show. The 57th annual show will air live Nov. 8 on ABC from the Bridgestone Arena in Nashville. Nominees and performers will be announced at a later date.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

May 29, Monday – Memorial Day
June 14, Wednesday – Flag Day
June 18, Sunday – Father’s Day
June 21, Wednesday – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 10:58 a.m. EDT)
July 4, Tuesday – U.S. Independence Day
Sept. 4, Monday – Labor Day
Sept. 11, Monday – Patriot Day
Sept. 23, Saturday – Fall begins (Autumn Equinox is 2:50 a.m. EDT)

BIRTHDAYS

Derek Hough (dancer, actor, “Dancing with the Stars”) … 38
Sendhil Ramamurthy (actor, “New Amsterdam”, “Heroes”) … 49
Jordan Knight (singer with New Kids On The Block) … 53
Trent Reznor (musician, film composer, “Nine Inch Nails”) … 58
Craig Ferguson (writer, comedian, TV host) … 60
Enya (singer) … 62
“Sugar” Ray Leonard (former world champion boxer in three weights) … 67

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I’m really goofy and really silly and crazy. If I get too serious, I start hitting a wall.”

(A) Joe Biden
(B) Pope Francis
(C) Derek Hough

ANSWER: (C) Derek Hough

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2011 – Actor and former California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger issued a statement confirming a Los Angeles Times report that he had fathered a child with a woman on his household staff more than a decade earlier.
* He kept it secret for 10 years – proving he’s a bettor actor than anybody thought.

2009 – Video game Minecraft was first released to the public while in development.
* It’s the most fun you’ll have playing with blocks since you were a kid playing with blocks.

1996 – President Clinton signed a measure requiring neighborhood notification when sex offenders move in.
* Little did he know it would one day apply to HIM.

1989 – The Longest Cab Ride Ever was made: It was 14,000 miles and cost $16,000.
* The guy just wanted to go to the airport, but the cab driver didn’t speak English.

1912 – The first gas oven was installed by a farmer in Pennsylvania.
* ‘Cause if it was going to explode, the oven company wanted it to be in the middle of the countryside.

1846 – The saxophone was patented by Antoine Joseph Sax.
* In case you were wondering who you could blame for Kenny G.

1845 – The rubber band was patented.
* Used mainly for securing loose items, it was originally patented as “a sprightly self-projecting finger missile for teasingly impacting fellow office-workers about the head or fetlocks.”

1792 – The New York Stock Exchange opened.
* At the end of the first day, the Dow was up seven cents, three horses and a bushel of corn on brisk trading of three shares.

1756 – Britain declared war on France.
* Which ticked the French off JUST enough to convince them to help us kick Britain’s butt 20 years later.

1673 – Louis Joliet and Jacques Marquette begin exploring the Mississippi River.
* “Hey, where are all those riverboat gambling parlors everybody’s talking about?”

1620 – The first merry-go-round appeared at a fair in Turkey.
* It was a giant leap forward in public puking.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2016 – Alanis Morissette sued her former business manager for fraud saying she was robbed of almost $5M. In papers filed in Los Angeles County Superior Court, the singer claimed Jonathan Schwartz transferred money to his own accounts without permission. Schwartz eventually pled guilty to defrauding Morissette and other clients, and was sentenced to six years in prison and ordered to pay $8.6 million in restitution.

2012 – Donna Summer, the 1970s pop singer known as the Queen of Disco, died of lung cancer, an illness she believed she contracted from inhaling toxic particles released after the September 11 terrorist attacks in New York. She won five Grammy Awards, six American Music Awards, and had three multi-platinum albums, including the hits “Hot Stuff,” “Love to Love You, Baby” and “I Feel Love.”

2006 – Paul McCartney and his wife Heather Mills admitted that they had given up the fight to save their marriage, saying that after four years together, they were going their separate ways.

1986 – David Crosby, of Crosby, Stills & Nash, joined a prison rock band while he was serving time.

1980 – KISS drummer Peter Criss left the group to pursue a solo career.

1975 – Rolling Stones singer Mick Jagger put his hand through a restaurant window. Emergency surgery was required.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. THIS debuted in 1884 and was called a Gravity Pleasure Switchback Railway. What is it called today?
A roller-coaster

2. 15% of people surveyed said THIS is the first thing they remember scaring them. What is it?
Riding a Ferris Wheel

3. According to statistics, if you ride one of THESE 100,000 times you might get stuck once. What is it?
An elevator

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