WEDNESDAY, May 10 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, May 10, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: A & M AUTOLAND – Bend Over Backwards; THE ONLY MORNING SHOW IN TOWN

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL BIKE TO SCHOOL DAY

NATIONAL CLEAN UP YOUR ROOM DAY – “I mean it this time!”

NATIONAL SHRIMP DAY

WORLD LUPUS DAY

May is:

Chip Your Pet Month / Pet Month
Date Your Mate Month
International Civility Awareness Month
National Barbeque Month
National Bike Month
National Egg Month
National Hamburger Month
National Military Appreciation Month
National Salad Month
National Salsa Month
Older Americans Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

ROBERT DE NIRO A NEW FATHER AT 79

During a routine interview with ET Canada about his new film “About My Father,” Robert De Niro broke the news about his own fatherhood status, saying that he “just had a baby.” No other details or statement is expected including the name of the mother. De Niro has been romantically linked to Tiffany Chen for several years. This makes De Niro’s seventh child. His oldest is 51.
* Why that old Fokker…
* His girlfriend says, “Bobby, I’m pregnant.” De Niro says, “You talkin’ to me? Are you talkin’ to me? Well I’m the only one here. Who do you think you’re talking to?”
* Dirty Grandpa indeed!
* Does the baby need a godfather, too?
* It’s sad when you realize your child’s first words will probably be “Rest in peace.”

THE BUZZ

PARADOX

AskReddit asked, “What is your favorite paradox?” Some of the answers:
– To set up my Wi-Fi I need Wi-Fi to install an app needed to set up my Wi-Fi.
– You need a job to get experience, but you can’t get a job without experience.
– If Pinocchio says “My nose will grow” what happens?
– You go backwards in time to kill your grandfather. But in doing so, you were never born, and so you were never there to kill him.
– The more you try to argue with someone, the less likely they are to agree with your point.
– The human body regenerates all the cells within it every seven years, Are we the same person we were seven years ago?
– The Lottery Paradox: If you have a lottery ticket it’s irrational to think it’s a winning ticket, but it’s also irrational to think that there are no winning tickets
– You walk halfway to some place. Then you walk halfway again. Then again. If you continue walking halfway to a place, you can never get there.
– It is impossible to seek what one does not know, because one will be unable to determine whether one has found it.
– Those towers next to the road with the blinking red lights at the top of them? The lights are there to tell airplanes where the towers are. The towers are only there to hold up the lights.
– The solution to a problem feeds the problem. For example, there are too many cars so we build more roads. More roads bring more cars, so we build more roads.
– The more Swiss cheese I have the more holes in my Swiss cheese. The more holes in my Swiss cheese the less Swiss cheese I have.
* What is this, Blow Your Mind Wednesday?
* I have a rule: No philosophy before 10 A.M.
* I feel like Captain Kirk doing battle with the alien supercomputer.
* Okay, it’s time for AskReddit to go back to questions like “What is your favorite pot roast recipe?”
* All these people who answered? We have a message from their bosses: “Get back to work!!!”
* All I know is, the more there is on TV, the less there is to watch.

U.S. NEWS

WOMAN KILLED HER HUSBAND, THEN WROTE A BOOK ON GRIEVING

A Kamas, Utah, woman is accused of poisoning her husband with a lethal dose of fentanyl, and then writing a children’s book on grieving. Kouri Richins called authorities in the middle of the night in March 2022 to report that her husband, Eric, was “cold to the touch.” The mother of three told officers that she had made her husband a mixed vodka drink to celebrate him selling a home and then went to soothe one of their children to sleep in their bedroom. She later returned, finding her husband unresponsive, and called 911. A medical examiner later found five times the lethal dosage of fentanyl in his system. Investigators believe she spiked his drink. They were able to locate a witness who claims to have sold her the fentanyl. The book Richins wrote, called “Are You With Me?” is a picture book she wrote to help children cope after the death of a loved one.
* Write what you know, they say.
* Her husband was “cold to the touch,” and she’s pretty cold herself.
* If this is how you celebrate selling a house, I can see why the real estate market is so bad.
* Her next children’s book is “Are You There, Warden? It’s Me, Kouri.”
* How Not To Get Away With Murder.
* Agatha Christie she ain’t.

WOMAN WITH A WALKER ROBS BANK

A 63-year-old woman using a walker was arrested last Friday morning after trying to rob a New Orleans bank. Cathy Lynn Hamilton allegedly passed a note to a teller at a Chase Bank branch that said, “Your bank is being robbed; put money in bag or people are going to get hurt.” The teller complied, surrendering $500 to Hamilton, who didn’t make it far. A bank security officer escorted her back inside the branch, where New Orleans Police Department officers soon arrested her.
* Did she forget where she parked her getaway Rascal?
* It was a Chase Bank – but it wasn’t much of a chase.
* The police actually had time to stop for coffee on the way.
* Her biggest problem – with your hands on a walker, how do you hold a gun?
* Of course she needed money. Do you think Werther’s candies grow on trees?

METEORITE CRASHES THROUGH NEW JERSEY ROOF

On Monday, a meteorite crashed through the roof of a home in Hopewell, New Jersey. The rock, about 4-by-6-inches, crashed through the roof over a bedroom and damaged the hardwood floor. According to resident Susie Kop, the rock was warm to the touch. Experts believe the meterorite may be related to the Eta Aquariids meteor shower, which reached peak activity over the weekend. No one was hurt in the incident, but Kop said emergency responders scanned all the family members for possible radioactivity.
* But that was just because they live in New Jersey. Everybody there gets checked for that.
* “Thanks for the radioactivity test and all, but what we really need now is a roofer.”
* The odds of this happening are about as slim as the odds of her homeowner’s insurance covering it.
* You gotta wonder, what does the universe have against the Kop family of Hopewell, New Jersey?
* Good luck falling asleep for the next few weeks.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

MAN KEPT DAD IN FREEZER

A Dutch man has admitted that he kept his father’s dead body in a freezer for more than a year. The father’s doctor had not seen him in awhile and asked police in the town of Landgraaf to do a welfare check. Police found that the elderly man had died about 18 months ago at age 101 — and that his 82-year-old son was keeping his remains in a freezer at home. The son told them, “I didn’t want to lose my father. Otherwise I would miss him.” He put his father in the freezer so he could “still talk to him.”
* And the best part about still talking to him? No more arguments.
* Now that’s what you call an ice pop.
* Hey, man, you have a cool dad.
* Police like it when they can solve a cold case.
* Is that standard procedure in a welfare check – to look in the freezers? How about laundry dryers? Wardrobes?

INDIAN MEN ARRESTED FOR SELLING X-RAY SPEX

Four men from Chennai, India were arrested for allegedly selling glasses that they claimed would help the wearer see through clothes and show people naked. In other words, the old X-ray Spex Gag. The gang were targeting rich businessmen by taking them to a secret location for trials. Police said the men showed their unwitting customers videos of how the spectacles worked and then took them to a secret location to try them out. The gang even paid models to pose nude in a dark room where they held the trials. The gang members claimed that they had managed to sell three pairs of spectacles. One victim was allegedly cheated of 500,000 rupees.
* Free Sea Monkeys with every purchase.
* It was actually only 400,000 for the X-ray Spex, but another 100,000 for the Polaris Nuclear Submarine.
* Seriously, how is this country a nuclear power?
* How did the victims not see through this scam? SEE THROUGH!!!
* In case you ever wondered, here’s how X-ray Spex worked: you put them on, look at a girl and tell her, “Wow, I can see you naked! Oh, boy, you sure are naked! These glasses really work!” And then, do everything you can to keep her from grabbing the glasses and seeing that they are just crappy cardboard.

TRENDING

“BEETLEJUICE 2” COMING IN 2024

Beetlejuice 2, a sequel to Tim Burton’s 1988 feature that starred Michael Keaton, is coming next June 2024. Burton is directing. “Wednesday” star Jenna Ortega will play the daughter of Lydia, the character played by Winona Ryder in the first movie. Keaton is expected to return as well. (* Just say the word three times and it appears: Needthemoney… Needthemoney… Needthemoney.)

MORGAN WALLEN CANCELS SIX WEEKS OF SHOWS

Country star Morgan Wallen has canceled six weeks of shows. Wallen shared a video to his Instagram account on Tuesday explaining he got “bad news” from his doctor. After taking 10 days of vocal rest and then performing three shows, he has re-injured his vocal cords. The doctor said he has vocal fold trauma and needs to take six weeks of vocal rest. “So, that’s what I’m going to do.” He has also been advised by doctors not to talk at all.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

May 14, Sunday – Mother’s Day
May 29, Monday – Memorial Day
June 14, Wednesday – Flag Day
June 18, Sunday – Father’s Day
June 21, Wednesday – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 10:58 a.m. EDT)

BIRTHDAYS

Lauren Potter (actress, “Glee”) … 33
Kenan Thompson (comedian, actor, “Kenan,” “Saturday Night Live”) … 45
Linda Evangelista (supermodel) … 58
Bono (singer with U2, born Paul Hewson) … 63
Mark David Chapman (assassin of John Lennon in 1980) … 68
Donovan (singer-songwriter, born Donovan Leitch) … 77

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“Books! I dunno if I ever told you this, but books are the greatest gift one person can give another.”

(A) Kim Kardashian
(B) Adam Sandler
(C) Bono

ANSWER: (C) Bono

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2017 – Apple became the first company to be worth more than $800 billion.
* Every iPhone assembler in China got a nice thank-you card! Nah – they didn’t even get that.

2013 – In New York, NY, crane operators hoisted the final pieces of the spire atop One World Trade Center (formerly called the Freedom Tower).
* It would have been a nice touch to hang Osama bin Laden from it.

2003 – The New York Times announced that one of its reporters, Jayson Blair, had “committed frequent acts of journalistic fraud.”
* This was before EVERYBODY started doing “fake news.”

1960 – The American atomic sub USS Triton completed the first around the world underwater trip, in part to test the physical and psychological effects on humans when deprived of sunlight and fresh air for an extended length of time.
* Laying the research groundwork for the construction of modern shopping malls.

1928 – WGY in Schenectady, New York became the first TV station to begin regular broadcasts.
* For American culture it was all downhill from there.

1908 – The nation’s first Mother’s Day observance was on this date during church services in Grafton, West Virginia.
* Then all the Moms had to get home to clean the house.

1869 – East met West when the new Transcontinental Railroad line was completed with the driving of the ‘Golden Spike’ into the last railroad tie at Promontory, Utah.
* And 50,000 Chinese laborers could finally get the song “I’ve Been Workin’ on the Railroad” out of their heads.

1853 – Chef George Chum of the Carey Moon Lake House in Saratoga Springs, New York invented the potato chip.
* Soon, people were sitting around munching them saying, “Gee, if only there was such a thing as a football game to watch.”

1752 – Benjamin Franklin first tested the lightning rod.
* And became the first white person to sport an afro.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2007 – US hip-hop artist Akon apologized after footage of him dancing provocatively on stage with a teenage girl was posted on the internet. It led to telecommunications company Verizon pulling out as a sponsor of his US tour with Gwen Stefani.

2005 – Seal married German supermodel Heidi Klum in a low-key ceremony on a beach in Mexico near the singer’s home on the luxurious Costa Careyes.

2000 – Michael Bolton lost his appeal against a court ruling that he stole part of his 1991 hit “Love Is a Wonderful Thing” from an Isley Brothers song.

2000 – Bobby Brown was arrested at Newark airport, New Jersey for breaking his probation order. He had been wanted in Florida since 1999 when his probation officer reported that a urine test proved positive for cocaine use.

1994 – Rapper Tupac Shakur began serving a 15-day county jail term for attacking director Allen Hughes on a video set.

1985 – All-girl band the Go-Gos called a press conference to announce their split.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. According to surveys, only 8% of Americans do THIS before they go to bed. What is it?
Get undressed to sleep nude

2. 34% of Americans surveyed said THIS is the last thing they do before going to bed. What is it?
Drink some water

3. In a recent survey, 70% of Americans said they have one of THESE in bed with them while they sleep. What is it?
A TV remote

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