WEDNESDAY, June 21 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, June 21, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: A & M AUTOLAND – No Free Hot Dogs; THE ONLY MORNING SHOW IN TOWN

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

FIRST DAY OF SUMMER
(The June solstice occurs at 10:58 a.m. EDT)

GO SKATEBOARDING DAY

NATIONAL DOG PARTY DAY

NATIONAL PEACHES AND CREAM DAY

NATIONAL SELFIE DAY

WORLD HANDSHAKE DAY

WORLD MUSIC DAY

June is:

NATIONAL DJ MONTH – Yeah!
National Adopt a Cat / Adopt a Shelter Cat Month
African-American Music / Black Music Appreciation Month
Corn Month
Great Outdoors Month / National Camping Month
International Men’s Month
Lemon Month
LGBTQIA Pride Month
National Candy Month
National Fresh Fruit & Vegetables Month
National Iced Tea Month
National Rose Month
National Seafood Month
Women’s Golf Month

THE BUZZ

BUY THE “NICE” ONE, NOT THE CHEAP ONE

Reddit asked, “What’s something that’s absolutely worth spending the extra money to get the ‘nice’ version of?” Some of the responses:
– “Men’s underwear.”
– “Office chairs. I spent $90 on a chair, it felt horrible and I could never get comfortable. I bought another one for about $340, feels like a dream.”
– “Mattress. You spend a third of your life there. I’m not well-off, but finally putting an extra few hundred towards getting a good mattress changed my life. Better sleep, more energy, best investment ever. Pillow was second.”
– “You don’t realize how much a nice quality fluffy towel grabs hold of you much better while drying than a lower quality towel.”
– “Perfume. Cheap perfume smells cheap.”
– “In flying, going from economy to business is the biggest change. Going from business to first class is a far more diminishing return.”
– “Mayonnaise.”
– “Weed.”
– “Shower curtains. Where else in life can you emerge naked flanked by a majestic dragon.”
– “Cereal.” (* We would disagree. There’s nothing like a bowl of Cocoa Puffs or Trix in the morning.)
– “Tattoos.”
* And no, I’m not going to add “Hookers.”
* If you work from home, can you claim your $340 office chair as a business expense?
* How about the bed, if you lay on the bed working on your laptop?
* One of the commenters gave this good advice: “Spend money where you spend time.” That’s why I own a $20,000 sofa.
* PHONE TOPIC: What is worth spending extra money on to get “the nice one”?

CONTEST: HOW MANY VARIETIES OF CHEERIOS ARE THERE?

TheTakeOut website has done a little bit of research on how many different varieties of Cheerios there are. Can you have your listeners guess? These, verified by a representative of Cheerios, are available right now, somewhere:
1. Cheerios Oat Crunch Berry
2. Strawberry Banana Cheerios
3. Honey Vanilla Cheerios
4. Very Berry Cheerios
5. Multi Grain Cheerios
6. Pumpkin Spice Cheerios
7. Original Cheerios
8. Honey Nut Cheerios Medley Crunch
9. Honey Nut Cheerios
10. Frosted Cheerios
11. Cinnamon Cheerios
12. Chocolate Peanut Butter Cheerios
13. Chocolate Cheerios
14. Cheerios Oat Crunch
15. Cheerios Oat Crunch, Oats ‘N Honey
16. Cheerios Oat Crunch Cinnamon
17. Blueberry Cheerios
18. Apple Cinnamon Cheerios
19. Frosted Lemon Cheerios
20. Vanilla Spice Cheerios
* They could double that just by adding cheese.
* And across Europe there are Cheerios with cabbage, herring, curry, dumplings, bratwurst, and escargot.
* This is why I can’t find Cap’n Crunch’s Oops! Choco Donuts. No room on the shelf.
* There are almost as many Cheerio varieties as they are Walking Dead spinoffs.

U.S. NEWS

FIRST-HAND ACCOUNT OF TRIP ON THE TITANIC DEATH SUB

Mike Reiss is a Hollywood writer. He is one of the more well-known writer-producers of “The Simpsons.” Last year Reiss took the trip on OceanGate Expedition’s Titan submersible to see the historic Titanic wreckage. Did he die? No, he did not. Reiss talked about the voyage with the New York Post, saying, “Death is always lurking, it’s always in the back of your mind. Before you even get on the boat, there’s a long, long waiver that mentions death three times on page one.” He received no specialized training before getting into the Titan aside from how to get into a survival suit. The seating is cramped. He described it “as if you took a minivan and took all the seats out, that’s the amount of space you have.” First, you sink, falling for two hours and 30 minutes. He says it was so peaceful that he fell asleep. Once they hit bottom, he says, “We spent about 90 minutes just hunting around, trying to find the Titanic but it’s just so dark down there.” By the time the submersible “stumbled” on the wreckage site, the five had only 20 minutes to gaze at the tragic liner through a porthole about as large as a washing machine door. His thoughts: “Wow, she looks just she does in the pictures.” Reiss said he didn’t feel unsafe during the deep-sea dive, but would not take the risk again.
* So, it’s a lot like the rides at a parking lot carnival. You gotta wonder if “this will be the one where it breaks.”
* Also, just like the Titanic submarine, you have to sign a carnival ride waiver that mentions death three times on the front page.
* The lesson we can take from this is, just like “The Simpsons,” the OceanGate submarine trip isn’t as good as it used to be.
* OceanGate. And you gotta hope the gate doesn’t open and the ocean floods in.
* Tickets are $250,000, so this gives you an idea of how much writers on “The Simpsons” make. Even when it’s NOT a good season.

GOATS GET LOOSE, EAT NEIGHBORHOOD

The town of McKinney, Texas, hired a herd of goats to deal with some large, weedy areas near the Erwin Farms housing development, to help reduce the chance of a brush fire. But Sunday morning, residents woke up to find at least 40 goats had escaped from the main herd, wandered more than a mile away, and were roaming through their housing development eating trees and bushes. The goats were eventually reunited with the larger herd. The firm that owns the goats were able to quickly replace the damaged parts of the yards they had destroyed.
* They just need to train the goats to spray weed killer.
* As wacky news stories about goats go, this one’s the GOAT.
* It all started when one goat thought, “Hey! These ropes we’re tied to are EDIBLE!”
* It was a b-a-a-a-d idea that made everybody m-a-a-a-d.
* Some of the goats were in the front yard, doing yoga, which nice. (see clip below)
CLIP: Our “Yoga Goats” parody spot.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)(com)/prep/wp-content/uploads/05-31-YogaGoats(dot)mp3

POLITICIAN ACCUSED OF HAVING GROUP SEX WITH THOSE LOOKING FOR POLITICAL FAVORS

The speaker of the North Carolina House of Representatives is being accused of having an extramarital affair with the wife of a former city councilman, and also engaging in group sex with individuals who were seeking political favors. Scott Lassiter, a former Apex, North Carolina, city councilman, claims in a lawsuit that Tim Moore, a Republican, had a three-year sexual relationship with his wife that “destroyed” their marriage. Lasiter is suing Moore for alienation of affections and is seeking $200,000 in damages.In the lawsuit. It is charged that Speaker Moore had group sex with other individuals seeking Moore’s political favor. Moore’s lawyer says the claims are false, stating, “We are confident the Speaker will be vindicated.”
* Is “vindicated” one of those new-fangled group sex moves?
* Is this what they mean by “Politics makes strange bedfellows?”
* Maybe they should make it “LOTS of strange bedfellows.”
* You have to admit, having group sex for political favors saves a heckuva lot of time.
* “Let’s see… Monday I’ve got a threesome with the developers; Thursday is the highway kickback bacchanalia; and – whew – can we move the Friday banker’s orgy to Saturday?”
* “If you have group sex with me, I’ll grant you political favors.” Can’t this guy pick up anybody on his own?

DOMINO’S DELIVERY ABSOLUTELY EVERYWHERE

Domino’s pizza is introducing an “anywhere” delivery feature that doesn’t require an address. Domino’s suggests the service will be particularly useful with the onset of summer, as more patrons visit beaches and parks where a precise address might be hard to pinpoint. Their new “Pinpoint Delivery” system allows customers to simply drop a pin on a map to indicate their location. Once customers have placed a pin on the map, they will receive text alerts about their order’s progress and can track the delivery driver’s location through GPS. A “visual signal” will be activated to help the driver locate the customer upon arrival.
* Like a flare gun? Do you need to carry a flare gun if you want the pizza guy to find you?
* Absolutely no one will abuse this feature by putting the pin, say, in the middle of a lake.
* God forbid you should make any effort at all to stuff your face. For an extra 20 will they feed it to you?
* Oh, by the way – Pinpoint Delivery is 80 bucks, and don’t forget to tip your delivery person.

TRENDING

GUY WHO THREW PHONE AT BEBE REXHA THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY

The audience member who threw his cell phone at Bebe Rexha and hit her in the face during her Sunday night performance at New York’s Pier 17 has since been identified as 27-year-old New Jersey resident Nicholas Malvagna. Malvagna reportedly explained: “I was trying to see if I could hit her with the phone at the end of the show because it would be funny.” He has been charged with two counts of assault, one count of harassment, one count of aggravated harassment and one count of attempted assault.

JASON MAMOA TO HOST “SHARK WEEK”

Discovery Channel’s annual Shark Week this year will be hosted by Jason Momoa. It kicks off July 23 at 8 p.m. Momoa will serve as host, setting up “the epic journeys and first-time revelations” each night. He says, “As the host of Shark Week, I am beyond excited to take you along on this journey. This project means more to me than a week of talking about sharks. It’s a chance for me to learn and share my connection to these amazing creatures.”

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

TODAY – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 10:58 a.m. EDT)
July 4, Tuesday – U.S. Independence Day
Sept. 4, Monday – Labor Day
Sept. 11, Monday – Patriot Day
Sept. 23, Saturday – Fall begins (Autumn Equinox is 2:50 a.m. EDT)

BIRTHDAYS

Kris Allen (singer, winner of eighth season of “American Idol”) … 38
Edward Snowden (computer professional, leaked details of America’s global surveillance) … 40
HRH Prince William (UK royalty, second in line to throne) … 41
Chris Pratt (actor, “Jurassic World” movies, “Guardians of the Galaxy” movies) … 44
Juliette Lewis (actress) … 50
Allison Moorer (country singer) … 51
Porter Howell (guitarist with Little Texas) … 59
Kathy Mattea (country singer) … 64
Joey Kramer (drummer with Aerosmith) … 73
Meredith Baxter (actress, “Family Ties”) … 76
Michael Gross (actor, “Family Ties”) … 76
Ray Davies (singer with the Kinks) … 79
Joe Flaherty (comedian, actor, “SCTV” cast member) … 82

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“My favorite way to blow off steam is to sing obnoxiously loud in the shower.”

(A) Dr. Phil
(B) Pope Francis
(C) Chris Pratt

ANSWER: (C) Chris Pratt

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

1997 – The Women’s National Basketball Association began as the NY Liberty beat the LA Sparks.
* I have a funny feeling they aren’t getting paid the same as the men.

1989 – The Supreme Court ruled it was a legal form of free speech to burn the American flag.
* After they allowed underwear with stars and stripes in the 60s, it was all downhill from there.

1948 – Columbia Records committed to the 33 1/3 rpm record, and made plans to phase out 78’s.
* Then they made plans to phase out 33 1/3’s, then vinyl altogether, then 8-tracks … all as part of long term program to keep us buying the same albums in newer and more profitable formats.

1913 – Georgia Broadwick became the first woman to parachute from an airplane.
* Well, the first one who landed safely, anyway.

1907 – E. W. Scripps founded the United Press news service.
* When it came to news, it was kind of like the Internet, except they checked their facts.

1893 – The Ferris wheel debuted at the 1893 Columbian Exposition in Chicago.
* In addition to getting sick going in circles horizontally on a Merry-Go-Round, people could now get sick going in circles VERTICALLY. Huzzah for King Science! Huzzah!

1834 – Cyrus McCormick patented the first practical reaper for farming.
* He stole the idea from this real skinny guy in a hooded black robe.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2015 – Apple Music reversed its payment policy, a day after Taylor Swift said she was refusing to allow the company to stream her latest album “1989.” In an open letter to Apple, Swift said she was withholding the record as she was unhappy with the three-month free trial offered to subscribers, saying “We don’t ask you for free iPhones. Please don’t ask us to provide you with our music for no compensation.” Apple now said it would pay artists for music streamed during trial periods.

2011 – People magazine reported that 75-year-old Glen Campbell had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. “I still love making music,” said Campbell. “And I still love performing for my fans. I’d like to thank them for sticking with me through thick and thin.”

2000 – Karen McNeil, 39, who claimed she was the wife of Axl Rose and that she communicated with him telepathically, was jailed for one year for stalking the singer.

1998 – Bobby Brown was arrested on charges of sexual battery after an incident at the Beverly Hills Hilton Hotel.

1994 – George Michael – former member of 80s band “Wham!” – lost a legal battle with his recording company Sony, and went on strike as a result.

1992 – Three members of M.C. Hammer’s tour crew were wounded in a drive-by shooting incident. Three days later Joseph Mack, a dancer in Hammer’s entourage, was shot on stage during a concert in Nevada.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. 1/3 of women surveyed said if a guy wears THIS on a first date, there won’t be a second date. What is it?
A bow-tie

2. 42% of women surveyed said they would not go on a second date with a guy if he did THIS too much. What is it?
Talked about himself

3.72% of women surveyed said it’s a huge turn-off if a guy does THIS on a first date. What is it?
Smokes

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