WEDNESDAY, Dec 20 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, December 20, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: A & M AUTOLAND – Twas the Night

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

MUDD DAY
The National Day Calendar website says this:
“Mudd Day is observed annually on December 20th, the birthday of Dr. Samuel Mudd. After shooting President Abraham Lincoln on April 14, 1865, John Wilkes Booth rode with co-conspirator David Herold to Mudd’s home in the early hours of the 15th for surgery on his fractured leg, before crossing into Virginia. Sometime that day, Mudd must have learned of the shooting but did not report Booth’s visit to the authorities for another 24 hours. This appeared to link him to the crime, as did his various changes of the story under interrogation, and on April 26, he was arrested. A military commission found him guilty of aiding and conspiring in a murder, and he was sentenced to life imprisonment, escaping the death penalty by a single vote. Mudd was pardoned by President Andrew Johnson and released from prison in 1869. Despite repeated attempts by family members and others to have it expunged, his conviction has never been overturned.”

NATIONAL FRIED SHRIMP DAY

NATIONAL SANGRIA DAY

SACAGAWEA DAY
The Checkiday Website says this:
“The bilingual Shoshone woman Sacagawea (c. 1788 – 1812) accompanied the Lewis and Clark Corps of Discovery expedition in 1805-06 from the northern plains through the Rocky Mountains to the Pacific Ocean and back. Her skills as a translator were invaluable, as was her intimate knowledge of some difficult terrain. Perhaps most significant was her calming presence on both the expeditioners and the Native Americans they encountered, who might have otherwise been hostile to the strangers. Remarkably, Sacagawea did it all while caring for the son she bore just two months before departing. Sacagawea is believed to have died on today’s date in 1812, and today we honor her contributions and courage.”

WORLD SNOWBOARD DAY

December is:

Exotic/Tropical Fruits Month
National Egg Nog Month
National Fruit Cake Month
National Stress-Free Family Holiday Month
National Write a Business Plan Month
Safe Toys and Gifts Month
Tomato Month
Winter Squash Month

THE BUZZMY AMAZING COINCIDENCE

Reddit asked, “What is the lowest probability event you have ever witnessed?” Some of the responses:
– ” I met a group of English guys in Thailand. A few years later I ran into them in New Zealand.”
– “I was in a restaurant in Spain the night they were holding the nation’s largest lottery. The staff won the lottery that night.”
– “I was hit by a car driven by a dog.”
– “I saw a giraffe poop on another giraffes head.”
– “Poker night with friends: One friend got two royal flushes in a row.”
– “I once went to a batting cage and accidentally hit the ball directly back into the machine that shot it out.”
– “Childhood best friend moved away when we were 10 years old. We ran into each other in Iraq 11 years later while both deployed.”
– “I’ve owned 4 houses in my life and 2 have been hit by lightning.”
– “On a boat on a Florida waterway. Watched a hawk pick up a fish from the river right next to the boat, then five seconds later a bald eagle swooped in and stole the fish from the hawk mid-air.”
– “Been to three Cleveland Browns games, they’ve won all three.”
* PHONE TOPIC: What once-in-a-lifetime thing have you witnessed?

NATIONAL PARK GRIPES

Not everybody likes the great outdoors. But still, they go to national parks. Here are some of this year’s complaints by tourists about America’s national parks:
– Yosemite National Park, California: “Really annoying that it is the same way in and same way out. Scenery is not breathtaking.”
– Hawaii Volcanoes National Park: “There wasn’t a single pickleball court in sight. You’d think with its extreme length and width they’d find some space for one.”
– Great Smoky Mountains National Park, North Carolina and Tennessee: “The haziness of it gave me huge headaches.”
– Zion National Park, Utah: “The mountains are beautiful, but most of the different formations looked redundant to my untrained eye, so I didn’t see the value in trying to hike around all of them.”
– Glacier National Park, Montana: “Where are the glaciers?”
– Glacier Bay National Park and Preserve, Alaska: “It’s like some ice cubes got scattered on a hill.”
– Shenandoah National Park, Virginia: “Trees, and some nice shrubbery, but unfortunately it wasn’t that entertaining. Underwhelming.”
– Great Sand Dunes National Park and Preserve, Colorado: “It’s $25 to get in and it’s basically just a lot of sand. You can walk up the sand dunes and use boogie boards or sleds to spice it up a little. … I just didn’t feel like it was really worth the long drive and money to see a bunch of sand.”
– Death Valley National Park, California and Nevada: “I was charged 23 dollars a night just to be harassed by snake while walking around.”
– Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming, Montana, and Idaho: “The whole place smelled like farts.”
* You’d think the farts thing would be a plus if you have kids.
* And that pretty much captures summer vacations with the family.
* God did not shed his grace on these people.
* “I didn’t see any glaciers, so we got back on the plane and flew home.”
* If you want pickleball, I hear a great place to play is right on the edge of the Grand Canyon. Great view.
* I guess it’s back to Disneyland then.
* PHONE TOPIC: What is some place – national park or other tourist site – that you found underwhelming?

U.S. NEWS

BANK ROBBER TOO HIGH TO ASK FOR MONEY

In Canton, Ohio, a man charged with robbing a bank was so high when he wrote his demand note he forgot to ask the tellers for money. Richard Hampton is accused of slipping a note to a teller at a Keybank location that read “give me the,” then nothing. Below that was the word “gun.” Hampton pointed to his waistband several times and told the employee to hurry up. Despite the confusing instructions, the teller handed over $723 in cash, which had a tracking device hidden in one of the packs. Police used the tracking device to locate Hampton and the stolen cash was recovered the same day. Hampton confessed to robbing the bank and revealed that he had smoked crack before the crime, which is why he forgot to write the word “money” in his note.
* If I were his lawyer, I’d argue that he was just asking the teller for a pen so he could complete his note.
* He was so high he almost wrote “Fritos.”
* He was easy to catch. He was driving 7 miles an hour.
* This guy must so suck at Wheel of Fortune.
* “Get in the back, buddy. You’re goin’ to – to … oh, what’s the word I’m looking for …?”

WAWA WORKER WHACKED WITH WINGS

There’s been another food assault in Florida. An angry customer struck a Wawa convenience store worker with a piece of chicken “covered in a spicy Nashville sauce.” It happened Monday at 1:20 AM in St. Petersburg, Florida. Police say Daniel Palomino, 32, became upset because he believed that the chicken was not cooked completely. He confronted the Wawa worker and threw the chicken at him. (* Ooo – chicken fight!) The victim complained that the spicy Nashville sauce got into his eye. Palomino was charged with misdemeanor battery.
* Charged with battery!
* Winged ‘im!
* Throwing your chicken at somebody. Pretty cocky.
* This was quite a flap over wings.
* “All I want for Christmas is my chicken wings cooked to a safe 165°.”
* You don’t want your chicken undercooked. Wawa E. coli is the worst kind of E. coli.

PUPPY BREAKING FLUORESCENT TUBES MISTAKEN FOR GUNSHOTS

In Bradenton, Florida around 2:30 a.m. on Sunday, police responded to a call from a woman who heard gunshots in the tire store next door to her home. When the officers entered the building, they found a small black puppy, who belonged to the woman, which had gotten loose and knocked over several fluorescent light bulbs in the shop. The officers responding secured the puppy and returned it to the woman.
* The woman later died from mercury poisoning.
* The puppy was charged with breaking and entering and breaking.
* Of course, the dog tried to blame a cat for knocking the lights over, which they like to do.
* “Dammit, Coco, you were supposed to open the register and bring me the money!”

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

SANTA SHOWS UP WITHOUT FULL COSTUME; PARENTS MAD

A disheveled Santa at a UK shopping center has infuriated parents after he showed up missing shoes and a hat. The replacement Santa at the Metrocenter Christmas Grotto in Gateshead stepped in after another Santa couldn’t appear. He came an hour late, had no boots, wore red socks and forgot his hat, so kids saw an incredibly lousy long-haired white wig. What’s more, parents said Santa kept asking, “How many more children do I need to see before my break?”
* So, a Millennial, huh?
* Billy Bob Thornton, is that you?
* Sounds like the Santa in the Grotto was blotto.
* Well, dash away all!
* And they heard him exclaim as he ran out the bower / “What did you expect for 6 bucks an hour?”

TRENDING

JELLY ROLL DONATES TRUCK FULL OF TOYS TO NASHVILLE TOY DRIVE

Country star Jelly Roll wants to spearhead the largest toy drive in Nashville’s history. Saturday, he donated a tractor-trailer packed with toys to the Last Minute Toy Store, which provides toys to underprivileged Middle Tennessee families over the holidays. Jelly came up with $100,000 to buy toys for 7,675 kids, according to the store. The singer says, “Who would I be to be so blessed and not turn around and try to be a blessing?”

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Dec. 21, Thursday – Winter begins, winter solstice occurs at 10:27 P.M. EST
Dec. 25, Monday – Christmas
Dec. 31, Sunday – New Year’s Eve
Jan. 1, Monday – New Year’s Day 2024

BIRTHDAYS

Jonah Hill (actor) … 40
David Cook (singer, “American Idol” 7th season winner) … 41
Chris Robinson (singer with The Black Crowes) … 57
Jenny Agutter (actress, “Call the Midwife”) … 71
Dick Wolf (creater, producer of “Law and Order” and other TV shows) … 77
Peter Criss (former drummer & singer with Kiss) … 78

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“Besides the fact that I make movies, there’s nothing interesting about my life at all, unfortunately.”

(A) Leonardo DiCaprio
(B) James Cameron
(C) Jonah Hill

ANSWER: (C) Jonah Hill

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2002 – The nation’s 10 biggest brokerages agreed to pay $1.44 billion and fundamentally change the way they did business to settle allegations they’d misled investors by hyping certain companies’ stocks.
* So much for Bill Clinton causing the booming 90s economy.

1999 – The Vermont Supreme Court ruled that homosexual couples were entitled to the same benefits and protections as wedded heterosexual couples.
* After all, why shouldn’t gay couples be just as miserable as straight couples?

1892 – Pneumatic tires were patented, in Syracuse, NY.
* And if the inventor was smart, while he was at it he also patented the tire patch.

1879 – Thomas Edison privately demonstrated the first successful incandescent light (light bulb) at Menlo Park, NJ.
* His dad yelled at him to turn it off when he wasn’t in his room, because he was wasting electricity.

1851 – The first YMCA opened.
* They did pretty good, considering it would be over 100 years ’til they got that catchy “Village People” jingle.

1803 – America doubled in size by buying over a million square miles of the Louisiana Territory from France.
* How appropriate as we head into holiday feasting to celebrate doubling in size.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2012 – Adele was named Billboard’s top artist of 2012, while her hit record “21” was named top album of the year in the music magazine’s annual review. The 24-year-old was the first to receive both accolades two years in a row and the honors for Adele came in a year which saw her win six Grammy awards and dominate the U.S. charts.

2006 – Eminem and his high school sweetheart Kim Scott divorced for a second time, less than a year after they remarried. The couple agreed to share custody of their 10-year-old daughter, Hailie.

2001 – Tommy Lee branded his ex-wife Pam Anderson an unfit mother. The drummer filed papers with the Los Angeles Superior Court alleging his sons told him “We hate Mommy” and his son Brandon had been using the f-word he learned from his mommy.

1986 – The Bangles started a four-week run at No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Walk Like An Egyptian.”

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. The average person buys nearly three of THESE every holiday season. What are they?
Rolls of wrapping paper

2. 57% of people hide gifts in one of THESE. What is it?
In a suitcase

3. 9% of people will only spend $5 on a holiday gift for THIS person. Who is it?
A coworker

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