WEDNESDAY, Dec 14 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, December 14, 2022
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: A & M AUTOLAND – Christmas Trees; CRECHE CLEAN; THE ONLY MORNING SHOW IN TOWN

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

MONKEY DAY
The Monkey Day website says this:
“Monkey Day is an annual celebration of all things simian, a festival of primates, a chance to scream like a monkey and throw feces at whomever you choose. Or perhaps just a reason to hang out with your friends while grunting and picking fleas off each other.”

NATIONAL BOUILLABAISSE DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“I think that you will agree with me that this is a somewhat fishy day. It’s National Bouillabaisse Day, a day to celebrate a tasty Mediterranean fish stew or soup. Bouillabaisse is believed to have originated in Marseilles, France. It is extremely popular all around the Mediterranean, and is a specialty in ports across the region. Bouillabaisse is a fish stew or soup. All agree the fish should be white fillets. Recipes call for variety of fish, including cod, snapper, flounder, halibut, sea bass, monk fish, and more. Celebrate National Bouillabaisse Day with a cup or bowl or this tasty stew.”

ROAST CHESTNUTS DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Every Christmas holiday we all sing about ‘Chestnuts roasting on an open fire …’ But have you ever roasted chestnuts? It may surprise you to know, that some people have never even tasted a chestnut (how unfortunate for them!). It’s time we changed that, by simply roasting some chestnuts today. Roast them in early evening, so they will be done in time for an evening snack. They go great with a cup of hot chocolate. With the holidays rapidly approaching, take a few minutes to roast chestnuts. Make sure to roast enough to share with family, co-workers, and friends. You can even wrap some up and include them in gift baskets.”

December is:

Exotic/Tropical Fruits Month
National Egg Nog Month
National Fruit Cake Month
National Stress-Free Family Holiday Month
National Write a Business Plan Month
Safe Toys and Gifts Month
Tomato Month
Winter Squash Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

“AVATAR 2”: THE REVIEWS ARE IN

The reviews of “Avatar 2: The Way of Water” have been unleashed upon the world. To be clear: they are overwhelmingly positive: ‘stunning images,’ ’emotionally engaging,’ ‘nothing less than an upgrade on reality.’ But… there are some negative reviews, and they are more fun.
– Mike LaSalle, San Francisco Chronicle: “On more than one occasion we’re told that ‘the way of water has no beginning and no end.’ No kidding.”
– Adam Kempenaar, Filmspotting: “Overwritten, when it isn’t underwritten.”
– Soren Anderson, Seattle Times: “Like the original, it’s ‘Dances With Wolves’ in outer space, only dumber.”
– Robbie Collin, Daily Telegraph: “Watching the film feels like being waterboarded with turquoise cement.”
– Owen Gliberman, Variety: “The only part of me that was moved was my eyeballs.”
* Well, there’s five reviewers who probably had to pay for their own ticket.
* Throwing cold water on the Way of Water.
* If blue light from small screens and devices can hurt you, this is a crime against humanity.
* I mean, they could at least have made the alien water red, for some relief.
* I’m absolutely positive the third and fourth ones will be better.

ADAM SANDLER TO GET MARK TWAIN PRIZE FOR — REALLY? — HUMOR

Adam Sandler has been selected to receive the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. The star will receive the honor during a gala ceremony at Washington, D.C.’s John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts on March 19. Previous recipients include Richard Pryor, Whoopi Goldberg, Bob Newhart, Lily Tomlin, Neil Simon, Billy Crystal, George Carlin… (* Seriously? Adam Sandler?)… Ellen DeGeneres, Carol Burnett, Jay Leno, David Letterman, Dave Chappelle and Jon Stewart. The Mark Twain Prize “recognizes individuals who have had an impact on American society in ways similar to the distinguished 19th-century novelist and essayist Samuel Clemens, best known as Mark Twain.”
* Because it’s well-known that Mark Twain also cast all of his sycophant friends in his books.
* Finally, the creator of Hubie Halloween gets recognized.
* Just one question: Did they or did they not see “Little Nicky”?
(Note: On Rotten Tomatoes, the film has an approval rating of 21% based on reviews from 114 critics, with an average rating of 3.9/10. The site’s consensus reads: “Despite the presence of a large, talented cast, the jokes in Little Nicky are dumb, tasteless, and not that funny, and Adam Sandler’s character is grating to watch.” Which you could say about a ton of his movies.)
* This is like giving the Nobel Prize to the guy who invented the cup holder.
* Great. Now Amy Schumer thinks SHE has a chance.
* His films include The Wedding Singer, Happy Gilmore, Grown Ups, Big Daddy, The Longest Yard, The Waterboy, Murder Mystery, Punch-Drunk Love, Anger Management, The Meyerowitz Stories, Just Go With It, Hubie Halloween, Uncut Gems, 50 First Dates, Hotel Transylvania, Click and more. Next up: Spaceman of Bohemia. It’s like they give the Mark Twain Prize for quantity rather than quality.

THE BUZZ

WHAT TINY THING TICKS YOU OFF?

Reddit asks, “What tiny little thing ticks you off?” Some of the responses:
– “When the sticker comes off a product, but the industrial grade glue that they used leaves a residue on the product that never comes off.”
– “When I’m about to start doing something then someone tells me to do it.”
– “When people don’t close the door.”
– “Leaving kitchen cabinets open.”
– “Whenever I’m finally super comfy in bed and then I suddenly get the urge to use the bathroom.”
– “People who stop in the middle of an aisle to ‘chat.'”
– “Friends who can’t walk in a straight line and force you off course to stop them walking into you.”
– “Leaving dirty dishes beside the empty kitchen sink.”
– “When someone leaves their dirty dishes in the sink.”
– “No kitchen container designed to pour liquid can pour without having the liquid dribble down the outside of the container.”
– “Carrying a pile of clean laundry, dropping a piece, bending over to pick it up, stand back up just to drop another piece.”
– “Plugging in a USB cable thinking it’s the wrong way so you rotate it only to find that’s the wrong way then rotate once more to finally plug it in, turning a 2-sec job into a 10-sec job.”
* Yeah, losing a whole 8 seconds. That sucks SO BAD!!!
* The person who can’t remember to pee before they get in bed … I think they’re beyond help.
* Don’t put dishes beside the sink, don’t put dishes in the sink. So what are they thinking – use the hall closet?
* I love how specific some of these are. Look, we all know you’re talking about your spouse.
* PHONE TOPIC: What’s the little thing that makes you angry?

U.S. NEWS

WOMAN FINDS BEAR DEN IN HER BACKYARD

In Asheville, North Carolina, a woman heard strange animal noises coming from outside her home, and was surprised to discover she was sharing her property with a bear. Casey Vandergrift called the local wildlife group Help Asheville Bears, who came out and discovered a hibernating bear den in the brush behind the house. Vandergrift agreed to share her property with the bear for the winter, and in the meantime the den will be monitored by Help Asheville Bears to see if the bear gives birth to cubs.
* Help Asheville Bears doesn’t seem like much help.
* If she thought the “strange animal noises” were bad, wait’ll the bear starts snoring.
* “Let us know next spring when the neighborhood cats start not coming home, and we’ll be back to check.”
* Speaking of guests who won’t leave, did I tell you I have family coming over for the holidays?

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

MAN DISGUISED AS CHRISTMAS TREE SLASHES TIRES

Police in Warzymice, Poland, are hunting for a man who was dressed like a Christmas tree and slashed the tires of 21 vehicles at a meat warehouse. Security cameras at the warehouse recorded the man loitering near the premises and then covering himself with branches taken from nearby pine trees. After 1 a.m. he cut a hole in the fence, entered the premises, and began to puncture the tires of minibuses and cars. Along the way he lost some of his ‘camouflage,’ branches were scattered everywhere.
* I wonder what he did it fir?
* If it had been a rubber tree out for revenge … THAT I could understand.
* So the eco-terrorists are beginning to branch out.
* Video shows he had a lumbering gait.
* Maybe he was just board.
* After committing the crime, I bet he was bushed.

AUSTRALIAN GIRLS BANNED FROM HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATION BECAUSE OF FAKE FINGERNAILS

A Sydney, Australia, high school barred around 70 female students from attending their 10th-grade graduation because they were wearing fake acrylic fingernails. The girls from Mackellar Girls school were instead placed in a separate room and banned from entering the main hall where the graduation took place. A spokesperson for the school stood by the school’s decision to ban the students, saying “all Mackellar Girls students and parents were given written and verbal advice on the expectations around uniform and behavior on multiple occasions since the start of the school year. This included specific advice to students and parents that acrylic nails were not acceptable at school and in particular for the Year 10 assembly.”
* “Signed, Grinchy McGrinchface.”
* It’s all right there in the Taliban Handbook.
* Man, oh, manicure.
* They got nails, then they got nailed.
* How about if they put on mittens?
* It’s like a new reality show: Australia’s Got Talons.

TRENDING

TEN FOODS WE LOST IN 2022

From website TheTakeout, here are Ten Foods We Lost In 2022. They’ve been discontinued, and probably aren’t coming back. So get over it.
1. Burger King Ch’King Sandwich
2. Chili’s Original Chicken Crispers
3. Dunkin’ Veggie Egg White
4. Honest Tea
5. Klondike’s Choco Taco
6. McDonald’s Egg White Delight
7. McDonald’s McRib (although this always comes back, eventually)
8. SnackWell’s cookies
9. Subway Oven Roasted Chicken Breast
10. Wendy’s Big Bacon Cheddar Burger

TIM MCGRAW SHOWS HOW TO MAKE BEIGNETS

Country star Tim McGraw has posted a video on Instagram showing step-by-step instructions on how to make beignets (ben-YAY), a classic Louisiana treat. He says, “Being a Louisiana boy, I grew up with beignets,” he says. “It’s been part of my DNA since the earliest memories that I have.” McGraw cheats a little bit by using a pre-made mix, but then gives plenty of tips as he mixes up the dough, rolls it out, cuts it into squares, then drops it into hot oil on the stove to fry. And finally, coats them in powdered sugar. And that’s how you make a beignet. (* Also, a funnel cake. Same thing, different shape.)

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Dec. 21, Wednesday – Winter begins, winter solstice occurs at 4:48 p.m. EST
Dec. 25, Sunday – Christmas
Dec. 31, Saturday – New Year’s Eve
Jan. 1, Sunday – New Year’s Day

BIRTHDAYS

Tori Kelly (singer, songwriter) … 30
Vanessa Hudgens (singer, actress, “Grease: Live”, “High School Musical” movies) … 34
Jackson Rathbone (actor, “Twilight” movies) … 38
Cliff Williams (bass player with AC/DC) … 73

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“You have to be able to love yourself because that’s when things fall into place.”

(A) Donald Trump
(B) Kanye West
(C) Vanessa Hudgens

ANSWER: (C) Vanessa Hudgens

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

COVID-19 in History:
2021 – America’s Covid-19 death toll passed 800,000, with more deaths recorded in 2021 than 2020.
2020 – America began its first COVID-19 vaccinations using the Pfizer/BioNTech vaccine on the same day it reached a total of over 300,000 deaths.

2016 – Amazon announced its first delivery by drone, 2 km from their warehouse in the UK.
* Let the delivery driver layoffs begin!

2012 – 28 people, including 20 children, were shot to death at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut. Prior to driving to the school, shooter Adam Lanza, 20, shot and killed his mother at their Newtown home. As first responders arrived at the scene, Lanza committed suicide by shooting himself in the head.

2008 – Iraqi journalist Muntadhar al-Zaidi threw his shoes at President George W. Bush – an act of extreme disrespect in the Arab culture – during a news conference in Baghdad while yelling “This is a farewell kiss from the Iraqi people, you dog.” Bush was not hit.
* Sadly, we were nowhere near leaving Iraq in 2008.

1992 – Mitsubishi claimed to have invented the world’s fastest elevator, which could run at about 28 mph.
* Or even faster if you cut the cable.

1967 – DNA was first developed in a test-tube.
* This is a day President Clinton wished had never happened.

1946 – The United Nations General Assembly voted to establish the U.N.’s headquarters in New York City.
* Officials were impressed by the nice neighborhood, good schools and the proximity to great shopping.

1911 – Norwegian explorer Roald Amundsen became the first man to reach the South Pole.
* He never did explain why.

1901 – The first table tennis tournament was held at the London Royal Aquarium.
* Actually, it was held in their cool basement rec room.

1900 – Professor Max Plank of Berlin University unveiled his revolutionary Quantum Theory. The theory concerns the behavior of physical systems based on the idea that they can only contain certain properties such as energy and angular momentum.
* More importantly, it laid the groundwork for most of what happens in “Star Trek.”

1793 – America’s first state road was authorized, running between Frankfort, Kentucky and Cincinnati.
* It would have happened a lot sooner, but, of course, one guy actually built the road while the other 5 watched.

1656 – Artificial pearls, made of gypsum pellets covered with fish scales, were manufactured for the first time.
* And two years later, when inventor’s girlfriend learned they were fake, WOW was there a fight!

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2015 – Adele was at No.1 on both the US and UK charts with her third album “25.” The album was a massive commercial success, and had sold 20 million copies as of June 2016, making it one of the best selling albums worldwide.

2003 – Alicia Keys was at No. 1 on the U.S. album chart with “The Diary Of Alicia Keys,” the singer’s second U.S. No.1.

2000 – Rapper Eminem and his wife Kim Mathers claimed that they had reconciled after filing for divorce. The couple, high school sweethearts who married in 1999, asked the judge to dismiss their divorce complaint, claiming that they wanted what is best for their 5-year-old daughter.

1999 – Sir Paul McCartney appeared at The Cavern Club in Liverpool, his first gig at the venue since 1963. The show was filmed for TV and also went out live on the Internet.

1997 – Garth Brooks was at No. 1 on the U.S. album chart with “Sevens,” his fourth U.S. No. 1 album.

1991 – Michael Jackson started a four-week run at No. 1 on the U.S. album chart with “Dangerous.”

1977 – The film “Saturday Night Fever” starring John Travolta premiered in New York.

1969 – The Jackson Five made their first network television appearance when they appeared on The Ed Sullivan Show.

1968 – Marvin Gaye scored his first U.S. No. 1 single when “I Heard It Through The Grapevine” started a five-week run at the top. It was Marvin’s 15th solo hit.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. Almost 40% of women surveyed said that a man who wears THIS looks uncool. What is it?
Bluetooth in the ear

2. 68% of women surveyed said a man should never wear THIS, especially on a date. What is it?
Skinny jeans

3. 75% of women surveyed find it “super tacky” if a man wears this. What is it?
Gold chains

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