WEDNESDAY, Aug 9 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, August 9, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: A & M AUTOLAND – Super Auto World

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

BOOK LOVERS DAY

INTERNATIONAL DAY OF THE WORLD’S INDIGENOUS PEOPLE

NATIONAL VEEP DAY
The National Day Calendar website says this:
“National Veep Day is designated to give recognition to the succession plan of the President of the United States.
ARTICLE II, SECTION 1, CLAUSE 6 of The Constitution:
In Case of the Removal of the President from Office, or of his Death, Resignation, or Inability to discharge the Powers and Duties of the said Office, the Same shall devolve on the Vice President, and the Congress may by Law provide for the Case of Removal, Death, Resignation or Inability, both of the President and Vice President, declaring what Officer shall then act as President, and such Officer shall act accordingly, until the Disability be removed, or a President shall be elected.
On August 9, 1974, Vice President Gerald Ford became President of the United States upon the resignation of President Richard Nixon.”

August is:

Black Business Month
Family Fun Month
International Peace Month
National Back to School Month
National Catfish Month
National Crayon Collection Month
National Goat Cheese Month
National Golf Month
National Panini Month
National Peach Month
National Sandwich Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

MEGAN FOX TO PUBLISH POETRY BOOK

Actress Megan Fox has written a book of poetry, titled “Pretty Boys are Poisonous,” which is set for release in November. According to the official synopsis, Fox “chronicles all the ways in which we fit ourselves into the shape of the ones we love, even if it means losing ourselves in the process.” In the past, Fox has been in at least two highly public relationships. She was married to “Beverly Hills, 90210” star Brian Austin Green from 2010 until 2021, and more recently she has had an on-and-off relationship with singer Machine Gun Kelly. In a statement Megan says, “These poems were written in an attempt to excise the illness that had taken root in me because of my silence. I’ve spent my entire life keeping the secrets of men, my body aches from carrying the weight of their sins.”
* Plus, they would never do their share of the chores.
* Why didn’t she just call it “Grrrr…”?
* She also asked, “What rhymes with ‘hate you'”?
* Somebody’s been channeling Alanis Morissette.
* I think the solution is right in the title “Pretty Boys are Poisonous.” If Megan Fox dated an ugly guy, he’d be her slave, no questions asked.
* Male revenge poetry. Shut up and take my money!
* Even Dylan Thomas told her, “Lighten up.”

“TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE” HOUSE NOW A LOVELY RESTAURANT

The Texas house used as the home for the cannibal family in the classic 1974 slasher film “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” has been turned into a charming restaurant. The house, which was originally located in Round Rock, Texas, was moved in 1990 to a new location in the town of Kingsland, Texas, about an hour west of Austin. It’s now called Hoopers, after the film’s director Tobe Hooper. Guests can enjoy their meal in the same dining room where Leatherface and his deranged family once munched on their victims. The house has been renovated and tastefully decorated, although there is some memorabilia from the film— including signed photos from ‘Leatherface’ actor Gunnar Hansen, and the film’s narrator, now-famous actor John Larroquette. In a nod to the film, the menu includes a Chicken Slaughter Sandwich and Hitchhiker’s Grilled Chicken, and three drinks on the menu are named “Grandpa Sawyer,” “The Ripper” and “No One Lives Forever.”
* If you order the ribs, it gets a little noisy in the kitchen.
* And, for goodness sakes, don’t ask how they make their barbecue sauce.
* “Oh, my god – these aren’t hot wings!”
* If I was going to open a restaurant based on a 50-year-old movie, I would have picked “Blazing Saddles,” but this is nice, too.
* They tried to do something more contemporary – a restaurant at a location from a “Saw” movie – but they just couldn’t get the blood out.

THE BUZZ

ARE YOU OK? THE PERFECT RESPONSE TO BULLIES, RUDE PEOPLE AND OTHERS

Sara Jane Ho, an etiquette expert and star of Netflix’s “Mind Your Manners,” has a suggestion to clap back at rude people, as a way to quickly shut down negative comments. Just say, “Are you OK?” It puts you in a position of care and concern for the other person, and throws them off balance when they are probably expecting an argument. It calls out their behavior and brings attention to how ridiculous it is, making them look stupid, and maybe prompt them to consider their intentions.
* Or, they may just punch you in the face. But it’s worth a try.
* If the situation is really serious, bake them a bundt cake.
* It puts you in a position of care and concern for the other person by making them look stupid? Is this reverse psychology?
* I wish reporters would ask this question when talking to politicians: “We need to stop those monsters in the other party from taking over and destroying our country!!!” “Are you OK?” It should be a requirement of journalism.
* The only problem with this is, they could take the bait and start telling you their problems and how they got to this point, and no one ain’t got time for that.

THE SICKEST DAY OF THE YEAR: AUGUST 24

What is the one day of the year most workers call in sick? Aug. 24 is the nation’s “sickest day of the year,” according to new research by leave management platform Flamingo Leave Tracker. (* What, were they named by a three random word generator?) The company analyzed five years’ worth of data, looking for the most common dates that workers call in sick. The discovered that the sunny days of late summer showed a more significant drop in attendance than the cold winter months typically associated with colds and the flu. And the day that most workers call in sick is August 24, which this year falls on a Thursday.
* Well, August 24th is Steve Guttenberg’s birthday, so who doesn’t want to take off and celebrate that?
* Also, the day after – August 25th – is National Waffle Day, so you have to rest up for that.
* Now I know that August 24th is NOT the day to call in sick, because all those other people will be doing all the things I want to do. Longer lines at the water park, for instance.
* What we need is “The Day The Fewest People Call In Sick” … so we can skip out and no one will notice.
* I wanted to ask the researcher at Flamingo Leave Tracker about this, but she was out sick.

U.S. NEWS

ROAD RAGE LEADS TO SPRAY PAINT FIGHT

A road rage incident last Friday in Spring, Texas, a suburn of Houston, led to a spray paint fight. It began when one driver honked at a distracted driver in front of him for not moving when the light turned green. Once he started driving, the guy in front started throwing things at the guy who honked at him. When they stopped again, the guy in front got out of his car with a can of white spray paint and started spraying the honker’s face and car and broke the back window with the can. At some point, the honker grabbed the can and retaliated, spraying the face of the honkee. By the time law enforcement got to the scene, the two men’s faces where covered in white spray paint. The honkee, David Winston, 35, was identified as the culpable of the two and detained for felony criminal mischief.
* It must have looked like a mime fight.
* Just think – if that had been black paint, they both would have gotten canceled.
* Too bad it wasn’t Silly String – that’s just a misdemeanor.
* Does Texas have a spray paint open-carry law?
* Usually in Texas, the rattle you hear is a snake, not a can of spray paint coming your way.
* Big boys don’t Krylon.

TAMPA MAYOR GOES FISHING, CATCHES BALE OF COCAINE

The mayor of Tampa, Florida was on a fishing trip off the Florida Keys recently when she reeled in a massive bundle of cocaine. Jane Castor was fishing with her family last month when her younger brother spotted something bobbing in the water. Castor, a former Tampa narcotics officer, knew what it was right away. They pulled the package, wrapped in plastic, onto the mayor’s boat and alerted police. They were met at the shore by local and federal law enforcement. The package contained 25 bricks of cocaine with a blue and purple butterfly logo on them. The mayor’s family spent the rest of their fishing trip catching about 60 lobsters.
* 60 very high-strung lobsters.
* What was she using for bait, a Wall Street stock trader?
* A blue and purple butterfly logo on the bricks? Drug cartels are into branding now?
* Back on shore, a bear was watching the whole thing, saying “Dammit!”

FLORIDA TO TEACH SHAKESPEARE, MINUS THE DIRTY PARTS

The state of Florida has a new set of teaching standards, and one of those standards has to do with the teaching of Shakespeare. From now on, all the naughty parts of Shakespeare’s plays are off-limits. Students will only be allowed to read excerpts. Joseph Cool, a reading teacher at Gaither High School (* And most popular teacher by his name alone) says, “There’s some raunchiness in Shakespeare, because that’s what sold tickets during his time.” Lessons will avoid anything racy or sexual. Mr. Cool says, “I think the rest of the nation — no, the world, is laughing us,” he said. “Taking Shakespeare in its entirety out because the relationship between Romeo and Juliet is somehow exploiting minors is just absurd.” He says teaching the classics in their entirety gives students “a sense of connection between stuff that happened in the past and things that are not necessarily in the past.” When asked if students could have that caliber of experience through excerpts, he said, “absolutely not.”
* What a perv!
* I defy any high school student to comprehend anything in Shakespeare, much less the naughty parts.
* This year, the school play is “Romeo and Friend.”
* Let kids read the whole thing, but change Romeo and Juliet’s ages to 65 and 63.
* I guess this rules out studying “Two Playboys of Verona,” “Midsummer Night’s Wet Dream” and “Tittus Andronicus.” At the very least, “Coriol-anus.”
* Next, they’re going to have to remove a few chapters from the Biology textbook.

TRENDINGMTV MUSIC VIDEO AWARDS NOMINEES

Nominees for the 2023 MTV Video Music Awards have been announced. Taylor Swift has a total of 8 nominations. SZA follows Swift with six nominations. Doja Cat, Kim Petras, Miley Cyrus, Nicki Minaj, Olivia Rodrigo and Sam Smith each have five.
This year’s show will also boast a record 35 first-time nominees, including Kim Petras, Metro Boomin, Rema, Ayra Starr, GloRilla, Ice Spice, Peso Pluma, Reneé Rapp and Yung Miami. Here are the top categories:

Video of the Year:
– Doja Cat – “Attention”
– Miley Cyrus – “Flowers”
– Nicki Minaj – “Super Freaky Girl”
– Olivia Rodrigo – “vampire”
– Sam Smith, Kim Petras – “Unholy”
– SZA – “Kill Bill”
– Taylor Swift – “Anti-Hero”

Artist of the Year:
– Beyoncé
– Doja Cat
– KAROL G
– Nicki Minaj
– Shakira
– Taylor Swift

Song of the year:
– Miley Cyrus – “Flowers”
– Olivia Rodrigo – “vampire”
– Rema & Selena Gomez – “Calm Down”
– Sam Smith, Kim Petras – “Unholy”
– Steve Lacy – “Bad Habit”
– SZA – “Kill Bill”
– Taylor Swift – “Anti-Hero”

Best New Artist:
– GloRilla
– Ice Spice
– Kaliii
– Peso Pluma
– PinkPantheress
– Reneé Rapp

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Sept. 4, Monday – Labor Day
Sept. 11, Monday – Patriot Day
Sept. 15, Friday – National POW/MIA Recognition Day (The third Friday of September)
Sept. 23, Saturday – Fall begins (Autumn Equinox is 2:50 a.m. EDT)
Oct. 9, Monday – Columbus Day
Oct. 16, Monday – National Boss’s Day
Oct. 31, Tuesday – Halloween

BIRTHDAYS

Ashley Johnson (actress, “Blindspot”) … 40
Jessica Capshaw (actress, “Grey’s Anatomy”) … 47
Gillian Anderson (actress) … 55
Eric Bana (actor) … 55
Hoda Kotb (“Today” co-host) … 59
Melanie Griffith (actress) … 66
Sam Elliot (permanently-mustached cowboy-type actor, “1883,” “The Ranch,” “A Star Is Born”) … 79
Betty Boop (cartoon character, debuted on August 9, 1930 in the cartoon “Dizzy Dishes”) … 93

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I have a real problem with stillness. With just stopping and being quiet.”

(A) Elon Musk
(B) Howie Mandell
(C) Gillian Anderson

ANSWER: (C) Gillian Anderson

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2002 – Barry Bonds of the San Francisco Giants hit his 600th homer, becoming the fourth major leaguer to reach the mark.
* And without the use of steroids! Right?

2001 – President George W. Bush approved federal funding only for existing lines of embryonic stem cells.
* Condemning millions of Americans with disease to slower, less effective research. And I thought Republicans DIDN’T want government intruding into our lives?

1982 – John Hinckley was detained indefinitely for the attempted assassination of president Ronald Reagan. He claimed he couldn’t remember a thing about it.
* And neither could John Hinckley.

1974 – U.S. President Richard Nixon resigned after the Watergate Scandal.
* Luckily the integrity of the U.S. presidency was later restored by Bill Clinton.

1910 – A.J. Fisher received a patent for the electric washing machine.
* And suddenly Mr. and Mrs. Fisher’s grown children started dropping by more often.

1859 – The escalator was patented by Nathan Ames.
* You’ll never go broke overestimating how lazy people can be.

1854 – “Walden,” Henry David Thoreau’s celebration of living in harmony with Nature, was published.
* Of course, a hell of a lot of trees were chopped down to put out the book, but never mind about that.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2007 – Jennifer Lopez won $545,000 in a case against her first husband, Ojani Noa, who planned to publish a book claiming she had several affairs. Lopez claimed Noa had violated a previous legal settlement preventing him from revealing private details about their relationship.

2007 – Amy Winehouse cancelled a series of European shows after being admitted to hospital suffering from “severe exhaustion.” In recent weeks she had also pulled out of numerous other events and concerts citing “exhaustion.”

1999 – Bob Herbert, who formed the Spice Girls, died in a car accident in London at age 57.

1995 – Jerry Garcia of the Grateful Dead died of a heart attack in San Francisco.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. A recent survey says that 51% of men do THIS for the family. What is it?
The grocery shopping

2. 32% of men surveyed said they wear THIS because they believe it improves their appearance. What is it?
Hairspray

3. Just under half of all men surveyed said they keep THIS in their cars and trucks at all times. What is it?
A roll of toilet paper

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