WEDNESDAY, Aug 31 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, August 31, 2022
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: A & M AUTOLAND – Labor Day; THE ONLY MORNING SHOW IN TOWN

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

LOVE LITIGATING LAWYERS DAY
The Days Of The Year website says this:
“Passed by the American Bar Association Practice Council in October 2015, Love Litigating Lawyers Day is a day for recognizing lawyers’ efforts in protecting the public good and administration of justice. The resolution aims at removing the stereotypes that (media) have portrayed lawyers as, including those who are heartless, cruel, and don’t care about the after effects of their clients. It also outlines how lawyers have contributed greatly to society by defending people in minor legal cases, resolving disputes, and helping people understand the law better.”

NATIONAL EAT OUTSIDE DAY

NATIONAL TRAIL MIX DAY
The National Day Calendar website says this:
“National Trail Mix Day honors the mix that was developed as a healthy snack to be taken along on hikes. Trail mix is an ideal hike snack food because it is very lightweight, easy to store, nutritious and provides a quick energy boost from the carbohydrates in the dried fruits or granola as well as sustained energy from the fats in the nuts.”

August is:

Black Business Month
Family Fun Month
International Peace Month
National Back to School Month
National Catfish Month
National Crayon Collection Month
National Goat Cheese Month
National Golf Month
National Panini Month
National Peach Month
National Sandwich Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

LORDE TELLS AUDIENCE SHE SWAM IN THE POTOMAC RIVER

Pop singer Lorde announced to her audience at a Washington D.C. show Monday night that she’d spent the earlier part of the day swimming in the Potomac River. She was talking to the audience between songs and said, “I was thinking today … I was lying in the Potomac River. I love getting to swim in water where I’m playing. It makes me feel like I know you a bit better somehow.” The audience started making a “uhhh, you shouldn’ta done that” sound. Someone hollered out: “Don’t swim in the river!” Of course, it depends on WHERE she swam, but swimming in the Potomac has been banned since the early 1970s because of the city’s aging sewer system, which routinely discharges 2 billion gallons of combined sewage and stormwater each year into the Potomac and Anacostia rivers.
* And that’s just the water they use to hose down the Senate and House chambers in the Capitol every year.
* I don’t know. Once you’ve used a public bathroom at a concert, it’s hard to be grossed out.
* Swimming in local water makes her feel like she knows her audience better. On a microscopic germ-y level.
* She’s from New Zealand. Maybe she has enough natural immunity coming from a place where everything is trying to kill you all the time.

AUDIO: THE MONKEES SEEK SECRET FBI FILES

Remember The Monkees? Pop group from the 1960’s? Reruns on MTV in the 80’s? It turns out the FBI had a secret file on them – like they did with pretty much everybody back in those days. The last surviving Monkee, Micky Dolenz, now 77, is suing the Justice Department on Tuesday to try to get their secret files. The FBI’s website confirms the band is a subject of two files — one of which is “redacted entirely.” The other is a 1967 Los Angeles Field Office memorandum that was released in a heavily redacted form in 2011. The file said it had looked into “four young men who dress as ‘beatnik types’” who “sang as a ‘combo.’” The FBI was concerned that, when the Monkees went on tour to an audience of mostly teens and tweens, the slideshow playing behind the band flashed pictures of riots in Berkley, anti-US messages about the war in Vietnam, race riots in Selma, Alabama, and similar messages. The FBI at the time was infamous for monitoring the counterculture, and an FBI informant said in the file that The Monkees played live with “subliminal messages” on a stage — which “constituted left-wing intervention of a political nature.”
* This is bananas.
* How could a pretend band manufactured by a record company be counter-cultural?
* The Monkees far ahead of their time, with that Justin Bieber song: “Then I heard his voice / Now I’m a Belieber.”
* I bet the redactions are about why Peter left the band early and why Mike refused to do reunion tours.
* The only real threat the Monkees presented to America was Davy Jones singing “On the Day We Fall In Love.”
* Next up: FBI files reveal how American democracy was almost destroyed by The Partridge Family.
CLIP: Davy Jones sings (?) “On the Day We Fall In Love.”
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)(com)/prep/wp-content/uploads/Monkees-TheDayWeFallInLove-edit(dot)mp3

THE BUZZ

THINGS I FOUND OUT WAY TOO LATE

Reddit asked: What is common knowledge that you found out way too late? Some of the answers:
– I thought islands were floating landmasses for way longer than I am proud to admit.
– A pony is not a baby horse.
– Always get everything in writing.
– Don’t let the in-laws move in.
– Take care of your teeth – your oral health is just as important as your general health.
– Flushable wipes are not to be flushed ever. It should be illegal to call them that.
– No one really cares about you. Everyone is so busy thinking about themselves, you are always an afterthought.
– The most embarrassing thing in your life probably doesn’t matter than much to someone else. (* But that doesn’t mean they won’t laugh at you if you tell them.)
– Never make an important decision if you are hungry or horny. Both have a massive impact on your decision making abilities.
– You can do everything right while driving and still get hit by an idiot.
* I’ve noticed that, in life, you always get stuck behind the slow people.
* Sandwiches and salads always taste better when someone else makes them.
* When buying a car, never, ever pay for “undercoating.”
* Where are the IMPORTANT subjects? Like “Always get a pre-nup.”
* However good the first episode of a streaming miniseries is, the second episode will suddenly slow down; the third episode will start doing incomprehensible time-jumps; the fourth episode will suddenly introduce new characters before you even recognize the main characters. Also, most of the dialogue will be unintelligible, and the picture will be too dark.
* There should be an encyclopedia of this stuff you could give your kid when they graduate high school.
* PHONE TOPIC: What life lesson have you learned much too late?

U.S. NEWS

MAN TEACHES DOG TO OPEN SUBWAY GATE, SKIP FARE

A video has appeared on Instagram showing a New York man using his dog to skip the $2.75 subway fare. The video shows the man encouraging his dog to walk under the turnstiles. The dog then walks over to the emergency exit, which only opens out. The man says “Open it,” and the dog pushes on the bar, opening the gate. The alarm goes off, and the man and a friend walk through for a free ride. New York transit officials estimate their agency will lose 500 million dollars to bus and subway fare evaders this year.
* And half of that from this guy alone.
* They’ll lose $500 million? They should have bribed YouTube $10 million to take down this video.
* And to think I was impressed when the dog in the Super Bowl commercial got his owner a beer from the fridge.
* Too lazy to actually jump the turnstile, huh?
* Can they bust the dog for aiding and abetting? How about urin-ading and a-biting?

BEAR EATS MOOSE DURING WEDDING AT GLACIER NATIONAL PARK

A couple was holding their wedding at Glacier National Park when a bear caught and began eating a moose in the middle of the ceremony. Just as the groom finished his vows at the lakeside service, guests heard a strangled cry from the opposite bank. The wedding photographer, who was filming the ceremony, identified the source as a moose being devoured by a grizzly bear. The bear chomped while wedding guests watched. As soon as the moose died and quit struggling in the water, the bear dragged it back up into the trees. Wedding guests were unsure of what to do, though most people wanted to turn on some music to “drown out the sound of death.”
* So the DJ put on some Justin Bieber, but then everyone shouted that they’d rather listen to the bear eating the moose.
* “Let’s get married out in nature! It’ll be sweet!”
* Then the mountain lions attacked.
* Now isn’t that more memorable than having Tom Hanks or Keanu Reeves crash your wedding?
* And yeah, there was one jerk later at the reception who said he was “hungry as a bear.”
* The guests said it was a once-in-a-lifetime experience, unlike the eventual second weddings of the bride and groom.

TRENDINGROLLING STONE’S TOP 100 COUNTRY ALBUMS OF ALL TIME

Rolling Stone has come up with a new list of The 100 Greatest Country Albums of All Time. here are the Top 20:
20. Rosanne Cash – ‘Seven Year Ache’
19. George Strait – ‘Strait From The Heart’
18. Gary Stewart – ‘Out Of Hand’
17. Loretta Lynn – ‘Coal Miner’s Daughter’
16. Tom T. Hall – ‘In Search Of A Song’
15. Patsy Cline – ‘Showcase’
14. George Jones – ‘I Am What I Am’
13. Miranda Lambert – ‘The Weight Of These Wings’
12. The Judds – ‘Why Not Me’
11. Johnny Cash – ‘At Folsom Prison’
10. Taylor Swift – ‘Fearless’
9. Randy Travis – ‘Storms Of Life’
8. Shania Twain – ‘Come On Over’
7. Merle Haggard – ‘Serving 190 Proof’
6. Lucinda Williams – ‘Car Wheels On A Gravel Road’
5. The Dixie Chicks – ‘Fly’
4. Ray Charles – ‘Modern Sounds In Country And Western Music’
3. Willie Nelson – ‘Red Headed Stranger’
2. Waylon Jennings – ‘Dreaming My Dreams’
1. Dolly Parton – ‘Coat Of Many Colors’

ATLANTA CELEBRITY CRIME RING BUSTED

Twenty-six people have been charged in connection with a slew of home invasions of celebrities in and around Atlanta, Georgia. The indictments charge members of a crew called “Drug Rich” with breaking into and robbing the houses of athletes and entertainers, including Mariah Carey, Atlanta Falcons receiver Calvin Ridley, reality star Marlo Hampton and Atlanta United goalkeeper Brad Guzan. They used social media to identify potential victims by the wealth they flaunted and then proceeded to pillage their way through Fulton County. The warrants allege the members typically identified a target and scouted the property before going into homes and taking items. The stolen valuables were then sold for a profit.

GARTH BROOKS’ “NATIONAL PARKS” SERIES RUNNING THIS WEEK

Garth Brooks is narrating the National Geographic series “America’s National Parks,” all this week, a five-night documentary series showcasing five national parks. The series started Monday, runs through Friday, and includes Grand Canyon National Park, Big Bend National Park, Hawai’i Volcanoes National Park, Badlands National Park and Yosemite. Brooks told CMT he “loves this nation,” (* How brave!) and he thinks that’s why he was asked to narrate the series. “I’ve never narrated anything in my life, but I can talk passionately about this country and the courage it takes to preserve these parks. Not only preserve them and establish them but to maintain them.”

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Sept. 5, Monday – Labor Day
Sept. 11, Sunday – Patriot Day
Sept. 16, Friday – National POW/MIA Recognition Day (The third Friday of September)
Sept. 22, Thursday – Fall begins, Equinox is 9:04 p.m. EDT
Oct. 10, Monday – Columbus Day
Oct. 16, Sunday – National Boss Day
Oct. 31, Monday – Halloween

BIRTHDAYS

Sara Ramirez (actress, “And Just Like That,” “Madam Secretary,” “Grey’s Anatomy”) … 47
Chris Tucker (actor, “Rush Hour” movies) … 50
Debbie Gibson (singer) … 52
Gina Schock (drummer with The Go-Go’s) … 65
Glenn Tilbrook (singer, guitarist with Squeeze) … 65
Richard Gere (actor) … 73
Van Morrison (singer) … 77

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I cry every chance I get.”

(A) Kim Jong-Un
(B) Dwayne Johnson
(C) Richard Gere

ANSWER: (C) Richard Gere

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

COVID-19 in History:
2020 – U.S. cases of COVID-19 passed 6 million with 183,300 deaths, with the most cases reported in California (699,000) and Florida (619,000).

2010 – President Barack Obama ended the U.S. combat mission in Iraq, declaring no victory after seven years of bloodshed.
* From “Thanks, Obama,” to “Thanks, Bush.”

2009 – Walt Disney Co. announced it was acquiring comic book giant Marvel Entertainment for $4 billion.
* “Hulk no like! Hulk smash!!!”

1997 – Princess Diana of Wales died at age 36 in a car crash in Paris. Her companion, Dodi Fayed, and their chauffeur were also killed.
* Jeez! Really? I don’t remember hearing about this …

1980 – Poland’s Solidarity labor movement was born with an agreement signed in Gdansk that ended a 17-day strike.
* This was how President Reagan single-handedly began the collapse of the Soviet Union.

1920 – The first radio news program was broadcast, in Detroit.
* The lead story was “This is the First Radio News Program.”

1895 – The very first professional football game was played. The winning quarterback was paid $10.
* When asked what he was going to do next, said: “Well, since Walt Disney hasn’t built anything yet, I have nowhere to go.”

1887 – The kinetoscope was patented by Thomas Edison. The device was used to produce moving pictures.
* A HUGE advance for porno.

1842 – Blacksmith Mikah Rugg was granted the first patent for nuts and bolts.
* And you thought Microsoft was an insidious monopoly.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2006 – The Times of London ran a story on the demands of rock stars when on tour. Ozzy Osbourne insists on an eye, ear, nose and throat doctor at each venue. The Beach Boys require a licensed masseur, Meat Loaf a mask and one small tank of oxygen. David Bowie requests that the dressing room temperature is between 57 and 64 degrees Fahrenheit and Paul McCartney must have a large arrangement of white Casablanca lilies in his dressing room. Mick Jagger must have an onstage teleprompter with the lyrics to all the songs and the name of the city in which they are performing.

2002 – NASA announced that Lance Bass, singer with *NSYNC, was to become the first celebrity astronaut. His $23.8 million (£14 million), place on a Russian Soyuz module would make him the youngest person at 23 years of age to go into orbit. Bass ended up not taking part in the flight after failing to pay for his $20 million ticket on the craft.

1995 – The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum opened in Cleveland. The city was argued to be the birthplace of rock beginning in the rooms of radio station WMMS, where disc jockey Alan Freed coined the term “rock ‘n’ roll” in the early 1950s.

1987 – Michael Jackson’s “Bad” video was televised for the first time on CBS-TV.

1974 – “The Partridge Family” television show ended.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. If you are 6 feet or taller, you don’t qualify for THIS job. What is it?
Astronaut

2. 85% of people in THIS profession earn less than $5,000 a year from doing it. What is it?
Acting

3. 1 in 5 men surveyed said they think they could make a living at THIS if they devoted all their time to it. What is it?
Gambling

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