WEDNESDAY, Apr 6 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR WEDNESDAY, April 6, 2022
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: A & M AUTOLAND – Suggestion Box; THE ONLY MORNING SHOW IN TOWN

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

ARMY DAY
The AFD website says this:
“Army Day was established as a nationwide observance to draw public attention to national defense and to acquaint the public with Army activities. On March 1, 1937, Congress officially recognized April 6 as Army Day as proposed by President Roosevelt. The day was also used to stress the need for military preparedness, which the nation had lacked when it entered earlier major conflicts.”

NATIONAL CARAMEL POPCORN DAY

NATIONAL TARTAN DAY
The Time And Date website says this:
“National Tartan Day is annually observed on April 6 to honor the major role that Scottish Americans played in the founding of the United States of America.”

PLAN YOUR EPITAPH DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Plan Your Epitaph Day is a day is a little bit morbid for my liking. My first thought was who would create this day? And, why? I don’t want to think about it, let alone plan it. However … When you stop to think about it, maybe it’s best if you do it. You never know what a relative or friend may put on your tombstone once you’re gone. Or, worse still, what if they say anything? While we’re young, we think this is a long ways away. As we age, and get wiser, more of us consider getting directly involved with our epitaph, as well as all of the details of our demise. So, if you need a little nudge to plan your epitaph, let today be the day.”

SORRY CHARLIE DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Have you ever been rejected? For anything? Sure you have! We all have. Sorry Charlie Day is for all of us who have been spurned, and yet somehow survived it. Take a minute today and reflect upon a past dejection. Then, smile with the realization that s**t happens … to all of us!”

April is:

Car Care Month
Celebrate Diversity Month
D.E.A.R Drop Everything and Read Month
International Guitar Month
Jazz Appreciation Month
Keep America Beautiful Month
National Card and Letter Writing Month
National Garden Month
National Greyhound Adoption Month
National Humor Month
National Poetry Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

TIGER WOODS TO PLAY IN THE MASTERS TOURNAMENT

Tiger Woods said Tuesday at a news conference that “as of right now I feel like I am going to play” in the Masters. Woods is scheduled to tee off for the first round at the 2022 Masters in Augusta, Georgia, Thursday morning. Woods has been away from competitive golf for over a year, having suffered serious leg injuries in a car crash in February 2021. He told reporters, “As of right now, I feel like I am going to play. As of right now.”
* Then he turned to leave and walked into a door.
* Just don’t let him drive the cart.
* In fact, don’t even let him use a driver.
* Maybe he should start smaller. Get the ball through the little windmill, around the loop-de-loop, then he can play in the Masters.

“AMERICAN IDOL” WINNERS RETURNING FOR REUNION SHOW

Some of American Idol’s most beloved alumni are heading back to the show for a reunion special celebrating the show’s 20th anniversary. The episode will air May 2. Returning are: Lauren Alaina (Season 10), Scotty McCreery (Season 10), Laine Hardy (Season 17), Lacey Kaye Booth (Season 17), Ruben Studdard (Season 2), Jordin Sparks (Season 6), David Cook (Season 7), Kris Allen (Season 8), Maddie Poppe (Season 16), Caleb Lee Hutchinson (Season 16), Willie Spence and Grace Kinstler (both Season 19).
* Remember when you used to be at least vaguely familiar with the names of the winners of “American Idol”? Good times.
* Why on earth would I tune in if there’s no William Hung?
* Even to this day, hearing the name Ruben Studdard makes me want a Reuben sandwich.
* That show created its own glossary of words: “pitchy”; “dawg”; “dreadful”; “What’s Paula Abdul on this week?”
* American Idol: 20 years of crushing the dreams of talentless, self-absorbed kids everywhere.

THE BUZZ

PETTY OFFICE DRAMAS

From Buzzfeed, people have been sharing their Petty Office Dramas. Here are a few:
– “When I was 20, I went to school in the morning and worked at a bank in the afternoons. During finals week I didn’t see my boyfriend, so he left a rose and a poem on my car everyday at lunch. I’d bring them into work. My highly jealous, middle-aged coworkers went to my supervisor to demand that I be told to leave them in the car.”
– “I have a coworker who does petty stuff all the time. The worst was when we had a potluck at work, she volunteered to bring the main course of barbecue because she lived by the restaurant. Halfway through the potluck, she told the manager she wasn’t feeling well and needed to leave. She took ALL the meat with her when she did. Only a few people had gotten any.”
– “An office manager once told me I was too new to be initiating conversation with my coworkers. Basically saying I was only allowed to speak when spoken to.”
– “We have a guy who does pushups while sitting in his office chair. He breaks off an arm of the chair, then switches his broken chair for a non-broken one, sticking someone else with the broken one. He’s done this multiple times.”
– “Someone at my old office took her lunch break in the women’s restroom. She would bring her computer and type away or make personal phone calls while sitting on the toilet. HR sent multiple emails asking people not to bring their laptops into the restroom or make phone calls while in there. She just kept moving to different floors. We had to post an admin at the entrance to every women’s restroom around noon every day to make sure she didn’t go in with her stuff.”
– “One of our offices has a puzzle table and apparently a guy in HR takes one piece every time and no one knows until it’s done and obvious.”
* PHONE TOPIC: Do you have a petty office drama happening in your office right now?

AUDIO: SURVEY SAYS A THIRD OF PET OWNERS TRYING TO MAKE THEIR PET FAMOUS

A new survey of 2,000 cat and dog owners, by pet insurer ManyPets, reveals that one in four are trying to turn their pet into a social media sensation. More than one-third – 35% – of them have created accounts just for their pets to show them off. Many say that their pet’s profile has already exceeded the number of followers of their own personal page. In case you’re wondering why people would want to do this, Grumpy Cat – remember him? – his net worth reached an estimated $100 million before he passed away in 2019.
* And STILL he was grumpy. What a jerk.
* Of course, that’s what everyone wants in a pet: a profit center.
* Just create a TikTok just for animals and be done with it.
* What you need is a clever handle, like “Grumpy Cat.” Something like “Prickly Parakeet” or “Indifferent Iguana” or “Disingenuous Gerbil.”
CLIP: Our classic “Pet Plastic Surgery” parody spot.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)(com)/prep/wp-content/uploads/PetPlasticSurgery(dot)mp3

U.S. NEWS

LUCKY CHARMS MAKING PEOPLE SICK

At least 139 people across the U.S. have reported getting sick after eating Lucky Charms. People across the country have reported nausea, diarrhea, vomiting, and overall feelings of sickness on a website called iwaspoisoned.com. One person wrote that they experienced “diarrhea, nausea, the chills and stomach cramps” an hour after eating a bowl of Lucky Charms. “This lasted a few hours and I still suffered from nausea and cramps for a couple of days.” A spokesperson for General Mills, the company behind the cereal, said they are aware of consumer claims and have conducted a thorough internal investigation and believe the problem is not due to Lucky Charms.
* Oh, okay. That takes care of that, then.
* Just bad luck, I suppose.
* Obviously we can’t call them Lucky Charms anymore. Yucky Charms?
* I’m sorry, but as a lifelong junk cereal eater, I can tell you that diarrhea, the chills and stomach cramps is how you know the cereal is working.
* Lucky Charms, a part of this nutritious barf fest.

POLICE OFFICER NEVER GAVE ANYONE A TICKET

A Lebanon, Ohio police officer resigned after it was discovered that, for years, he had been writing traffic tickets without ever giving them to the drivers he stopped. Officer Eric Holmes joined the Lebanon Police Department in 2015, but investigators said that from 2018 through 2022, he allegedly issued 613 traffic citations, about a quarter of which were missing from court records. He would conduct traffic stops but give no ticket to the driver. Later, he would fill out the traffic citation form and submit it to the agency for internal accountability only. None of his traffic stops made it to court, and no one was cited or fined. For his heroic efforts, Officer Holmes was placed on administrative leave in March, but later resigned. Police Chief Jeffrey Mitchell said in a statement, “The actions of this former employee do not reflect the values and character of this agency.”
* Which is a damn shame.
* The police always claim their officers don’t have a quota of tickets they have to give out. For this guy it was true!
* This is what would happen if Abraham Lincoln was a traffic cop. Or Ghandi.
* First, an officer doesn’t write tickets, which can only lead to him not pulling a gun in moment of frustration and confusion, and we can’t have that now, can we?
* Maybe he got into police work because he just liked playing with the siren.

DRUNK MAN WITH STAB WOUND IN HAND: SUPER GLUE AND ICE

Police in Tacoma, Washington responded to a report of domestic violence between two brothers back March 27. It was 1:30 in the morning. One of the brothers was banging on the apartment door of the other when officers arrived. The man – intoxicated – had blood on his hands. When he opened his hand, blood squirted from his palm from a stab wound. When the officers attempted to take him to a hospital, the man argued he didn’t need medical attention, just super glue and ice. He then told the officers, “It’s not a big deal. I have five brothers. We’ve all stabbed each other.”
* Everyone knows the Stabbatoni family from Tacoma.
* “Can’t you treat each other nicer?” “I guess we could take a stab at it.”
* It’s what happens when dad is a Ginsu knife salesman.
* And yet, they still all gather together each Thanksgiving, with knives and forks and everything.

THE COW MOOSEUM

A Lafayette, Minnesota woman holds the Guinness World Record for the largest collection of cow-related items. She has turned her hoarding – er, passion – into a museum, which she calls the Cow Collector’s Mooseum. Ruth Klossner’s collection numbers 19,827 pieces of cattlerobilia, including cow toys, statues, snow globes, pillows, clothing, a chess set and even a wine decanting set. Klossner is offering tours of the Mooseum by appointment.
* And THAT’S no BULL!!!!!!!!
* Yep, it’s the biggest collection of cow stuff you’ve heifer seen.
* The 19,827 pieces of cow-themed junk is estimated to be worth several dozen dollars.
* “Hey, you wanna go to the art museum?” Nah, let’s go to the udder one.”
* You’ll want to mind your manners when you go, because Ruth Klossner can be a little bossy.
* Is there absolutely no minimum standard for who gets into the Guinness World Record Book?

TRENDINGGARTH BROOKS OPENING BAR IN NASHVILLE

Garth Brooks has talked about opening a “Friends in Low Places” bar in Nashville on Lower Broadway in the past, and Tuesday he made it official. Garth said that he will open a new entertainment concept and bar at 411 Broadway in Nashville, which is in the heart of the famed Lower Broadway entertainment district. The entertainment complex will reside in a three-story, 40,000+ square foot property that he purchased in December of 2021. “We feel very lucky to have the chance to be part of Lower Broad, which is arguably THE hottest spot in the country,” Brooks said in a statement. “The goal is a classic honky-tonk that welcomes all and encourages love and kindness while playing the greatest music in the world in the home of Country Music!”

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

April 15, Friday – U.S. Tax Day
April 17, Sunday – Easter
May 8, Sunday – Mother’s Day
May 30, Monday – Memorial Day
June 14, Tuesday – Flag Day
June 19, Sunday – Father’s Day
June 21, Tuesday – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 5:14 A.M. EDT)

BIRTHDAYS

Zach Braff (actor, “Undateable,” “Scrubs”) … 47
Paul Rudd (actor, “Ant-Man,” “Parks and Recreation”) … 53
John Ratzenberger (actor, mail carrier Cliff on “Cheers,” voice actor) … 75
Billy Dee Williams (actor) … 85

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“… Going back … when you watched an NBC show you knew it was going to be a certain quality. CBS had a certain quality. You had your favorite network and you could rely on that network for a certain standard, but now there are no standards. What we’ve done is lower the standard of what’s acceptable.”

(A) Seth MacFarlane
(B) Amy Schumer
(C) John Ratzenberger

ANSWER: (C) John Ratzenberger

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

COVID-19 in History:
2020 – The U.S. COVID-19 death toll passed 10,000 in six weeks, with more than 356,000 American infected.
2020 – With COVID-19 cases climbing, Japanese Prime Minister Shinzō Abe announced a nearly $1 trillion stimulus package, and declared a state of emergency in seven prefectures.
2020 – In the first known case of human-to-cat transmission, Nadia, a tiger at the New York City’s Bronx Zoo tested positive for COVID-19.

2016 – France passed legislation making it illegal to pay for sex.
* Can you barter?

1999 – Carmen Electra filed for divorce from Dennis Rodman. They had only been married six months.
* This wasn’t a marriage made in Heaven – it was a marriage made in the Twilight Zone.

1992 – Public voting began on a choice of Elvis postage stamps. People were asked to pick between Elvis in the 50s and Elvis in the 70s.
* They chose the 50s Elvis ’cause with the 70s Elvis, the stamp would have been bigger than the envelope.

1980 – The Post-It note went on sale for the first time.
* And the bottom fell out of the paper clip market.

1954 – The TV Dinner was first put on sale by Swanson & Sons.
* It featured Salisbury steak, green beans, and a couch potato.

1938 – Roy Plunkett invented Teflon.
* His only problem was getting the price labels to stay on his product.

1930 – Hostess Twinkies were invented by bakery executive James Dewar.
* So along with TV Dinners, this was a big, big day for nutrition.

1928 – The Italian government banned handshaking on the grounds that it was unhygienic.
* People sure looked silly giving each other “air kisses.”

1909 – Admiral Robert Perry and Matthew Henson claimed to be the first men to reach the North Pole.
* So … why no pictures of Santa Claus?

1889 – George Eastman’s Kodak camera went on sale for the first time.
* He was hoping a fortune would develop.

1830 – The multi-marriage Mormon church was founded.
* Having time for more than one wife seems unworkable ’til you remember they had no television back then.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2006 – Eminem filed for divorce from his wife Kim less than three months after the couple re-married.

2003 – Linkin Park started a two-week run at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “Meteora.”

2000 – An all-star tribute to Joni Mitchell was held in New York featuring performances by Elton John, Bryan Adams, Shawn Colvin, James Taylor, Cyndi Lauper, Richard Thompson, k.d. Lang, and Mary Chapin Carpenter.

1999 – An all-star tribute to singer Johnny Cash took place in New York. Sheryl Crow, Chris Isaak and U2 all performed for the TV special.

1998 – Wendy O. Williams, former singer of The Plasmatics, died from self-inflicted gunshot wounds.

1979 – Rod Stewart married actor George Hamilton’s ex-wife Alana Hamilton in Beverly Hills.

1974 – Swedish act Blue Swede went to No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Hooked On A Feeling.”

1971 – Carly Simon was introduced to James Taylor after her show at the Troubadour in Los Angeles. The couple married in November of 1972.

1971 – The Rolling Stones launched their own record label, “Rolling Stones Records.”

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. 66% of women would rather receive THIS than a marriage proposal. What is it?
A job promotion

2. 20% of women say the best compliment they can receive is about THIS. What is it?
Her purse

3. 40% of women said they did THIS when they were younger. What is it?
They were a Girl Scout

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