WALMART’S TOP TOYS OF THE HOLIDAYS

Wal-Mart has unveiled its annual list of the top holiday toys of 2016. The retailer polled hundreds of kids ages 18 months to 12 years to find what they liked. Surprisingly, six of the toys are for sale exclusively at Walmart.
– Num Noms Lipgloss Truck, $29.94
– Pom Pom Wow Decoration Station, $29.97
– Doc McStuffins Hospital Care Cart, $49.98
– FurReal Friends Torch, My Blazin’ Dragon, $79.00
– Little Live Pets Puppy, $54.82
– Fisher Price Little People Sit ‘n Stand Skyway, $35.82
– My Little Pony Explore Equestria Crystal Empire Castle, $38.88
– Pie Face Showdown! Game, $24.86
– Nerf N-Strike Elite HyperFire Blaster, $44.99
– Tyco Terra Climber Remote Control Vehicle, $88.00
– Barbie Rainbow Cove Princess Castle Playset, $94.00
– Sky Viper Streaming Drone, $74.50
– Razor PowerCore E100 Electric Scooter, $149.00
– Hatchimals, $59.97
– Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Remote Control Skateboarding Mikey, $59.00
– Paw Patrol Zooming Marshall, $69.00
– Disney Princess Carriage, $398.00
– Paw Patrol Zooming Marshall, $69.00
– Star Wars Electronic R2D2
– Hot Wheels AI Racing Playset
– My Life As Food Truck
– Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice Batcave
– Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Mega Lair Playset
– Vtech Go! Go! Smart Wheels Treasure Mountain Train Adventure
* Show me the 18-month old that told Walmart, “I want a Vtech Go! Go! Smart Wheels Treasure Mountain Train Adventure”.
* Most of these toys sound like they were named by a cat lady: “Num Noms Pom Pom Paw Patrol McStuffins.”
* Just saying the words “Barbie Rainbow Cove Princess Castle Playset” makes me want to consider changing my gender.
* FurReal Friends Torch, My Blazin’ Dragon??? Please tell me there isn’t a little flamethrower inside.
* That freakin’ Game of Thrones has permeated everything, huh?
* I want to see FurReal Friends Torch, My Blazin’ Dragon go up against Princess Daenerys’s Drogon, Rhaegal and Viserion.
* That $400 Disney Princess Carriage better come with a family Day Pass to the Magic Kingdom.
* Please, folks. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles have flatlined. It’s time to stop pounding on their chest, call time of death, and let them go.
* So it’s official: September 8th and the holiday stories have started.
* We haven’t even gotten to the annual story about the cost of a Thanksgiving dinner.
* I say give the kids a few blocks of wood and let them go play.
* Correction: The Pie Face Showdown! Game was accidentally taken from a story about the presidential campaign.
* There’s a Sky Viper Screaming drone? You’ll regret that when your kid takes over the neighborhood.