VICTORIA’S SECRET ENDS CATALOGS

The beloved Victoria’s Secret mail-order catalog is ending, parent company L Brands announced. First introduced in 1977, the catalogs featured beautiful models in skimpy, skimpy … skimpy … underthings. The company now finds that the catalogs are no longer connecting with customers, who are viewing products online. The company was paying up to $150 million to produce roughly 300 million copies, and has determined that the catalogs have “little to no impact on sales.”
* Well, teen boys, I guess it’s back to Playboy. Wait – aw, crap!
* Great. The one piece of junk mail I didn’t really mind.
* I guess it’s just you now, Adam and Eve catalog.
* $150 million to produce 300 million copies? Yeah, and I completely believe that.
* Now that it’s over, why don’t you tell us the real numbers just for fun.
* Not the numbers you trumped up for your phony business expenses.
* If they’re worried about unnecessary costs, why not cancel those stupid angel wings the models wear during the fashion shows?
* Or so I’ve heard anyway.