VEGAN INFLUENCER TRIES MEAT, SAYS “I NEVER FELT BETTER”

Alyse Parker, a self-styled vegan “influencer”, has revealed to her 200,000 Instagram followers that she spent the past month eating nothing but meat and animal products. Parker explained, “I had my own fair share of health struggles and eventually reached a breaking point where I was willing to try anything to function properly again.” She decided to try the Carnivore Diet after hearing about all of the health benefits from friends who switched from being vegan to eating only meat and animal products. Parker said, “I swallowed my pride and decided I’d give it a shot. I woke up the next morning feeling more mentally clear, focused, wholesome, and healthy than I had felt in years.” Many of her fans reacted negatively, with one simply commenting, “This is so disappointing.”
* Guess who’s a new meat influencer?!
* This explains why the plants around her house are celebrating.
* She swallowed her pride, but first she stuck it between the patties of a Double Whopper.
* There must be nothing worse than then feeling of letting down 200,000 strangers whose lives you really have no interest in.
* Alyse, if you’re listening – if White Castle contacts you to be their meat influencer, don’t return the call.