USC HAS OFFICIAL THERAPY DOG

The University of Southern California has a new faculty member, a dog named Professor Beauregard Tirebiter. The 2-year old golden doodle is a facility wellness dog, whose purpose at USC is to be a therapy dog for the thousands of students who use the school’s student health center. Petting a therapy dog has been shown to release seratonin, oxytocin and beta-endorphins – all the happy, feel good hormones – and decrease stress. For students who may be homesick, or have more challenging problems that require the use of the university health center, Professor Beau can be the open door that gets the students the help they need. Professor Beau even has office hours, business cards, Twitter account and Instagram.
* But no phone to send selfies, ’cause that would be silly.
* The students can pet the doggie while they’re coloring in their therapy coloring books!
* This will help prepare them for the real world, where high-pressure corporations let stressed executives take puppy-petting breaks.
* What they really need is a psychiatrist for the football team.
* Not to mention a legal defense team for some of them.
* The only thing the team has done well this year is a mutiny against the coach.
* Let’s see … the total enrollment for USC is around 43,000. Yeah, one dog should be enough to cover that.
* In honor of the school, the dog will not be snipped. Instead it will wear a little Trojan.
* Next: USC gives every student a cuddly blankey.