TUESDAY, Sept 20 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR TUESDAY, September 20, 2022
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: CONTEST – MIXED-UP MOVIE

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL PEPPERONI PIZZA DAY

PUNCH DAY (Some sources say NATIONAL RUM PUNCH DAY)
The Days Of The Year website says this:
“The word punch means five, originating from the Hindustani word panch. Punch Day sadly isn’t an excuse to drink five glasses of punch; rather, it celebrates the traditional punch base recipe of five key ingredients, which most punches still use – alcohol (usually spirits), lemon (or other fruits), sugar, water, and tea (or other spices, such as cinnamon).”

September is:

Baby Safety Month
Better Breakfast Month
Chicken Month
Classical Music Month
Hispanic Heritage Month
Honey Month
Little League Month
National Piano Month
Self Improvement Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

ADAM LEVINE ASKED HIS WIFE IF THEY COULD NAME THE BABY AFTER HIS MISTRESS

On Friday, Behati Prinsloo, wife of Maroon 5 singer Adam Levine, shared photos on Instagram announcing that the couple is expecting their third child together. Then yesterday (Monday), Instagram model Sumner Stroh dropped a bombshell on TikTok alleging Levine “manipulated” her into having an affair. She revealed screenshots of direct messages from Levine, in which it appears the two flirted back and forth over text. Then, Stroh said that back in June, after months of not talking, Levine DMed her on Instagram asking if Stroh is “ok with” him and his wife naming their forthcoming baby after her – “Sumner.”
* Sumner’ve he’s got!
* This is turning out to be a bad Sumner for Adam.
* I know – she’s making this up and it’s a different Sumner who gave him the idea. It’s a common name, right? Okay, never mind.
* As long as the baby’s middle name is “Pre-Nup”, I’m sure it’ll be fine.

EXCITEMENT IN THE WORLD OF CHESS

The chess world was shocked Monday when world chess champion Magnus Carlsen, a Norwegian, resigned in protest after just one move against Hans Niemann, an American chess grandmaster. The game at the Champions Chess Tour was the first meeting between the two players since a cheating scandal erupted earlier this month. Niemann started the game with d4 and Carlsen respond Nf6. (* NO, NOT Nf6!!!) When Niemann played c4, Carlsen simply resigned and turned off his webcam, leaving commentators visibly stunned. Commentators say it was a clear statement from Carlsen that he has issues with the American player. Back on September 4, Carlsen was soundly beaten by the much lower rated Niemann.
* Nerds. What’re you gonna do?
* Dammit! This completely throws off my brackets.
* I think the lesson here is never gambit your back rank with a castling en passant. QED!
* Maybe they should switch to Battleship for a couple of days until things cool off.

NETWORK TV RATINGS 2021-2022

The 52-week TV season – 2021 to Sept. 18, 2022 – is over. The results:
– CBS remains the most watched network.
– But NBC is Number One among adults 18-49.
– But ABC nudged ahead of Fox in the total-viewer race.
– Although Fox remained second in the 18-49 demographic that advertisers covet.
* Isn’t that nice? Everybody gets a participation trophy.
* Oh – except … sorry, Weather Channel.
* And this, ladies and gentlemen, is how the ratings company gets to keep its job year after year.
* I’m sorry, what did you say? I was watching “The Bear” on Hulu.

THE BUZZ

DUCT TAPE SURVEY

A survey commissioned by the makers of Duck Tape found that 51% of Americans were currently using duct tape to fix something in their home. The top ten most common uses for duct tape:
1. Plumbing
2. Hose
3. Vehicle
4. Toilet
5. Cut or wound
6. Book
7. Garden tools
8. Computer
9. Shower
10. A tie – Bicycle or cell phone
* Isn’t anybody using it for air ducts?
* You 49% of Americans who AREN’T using duct tape right now? The Duck Tape people will be sending over some stooges in the middle of the night to poke holes in your plumbing and slash your hoses.
* Using it on a cut or wound? On what – an elephant?
* I’m using some duct tape to hold together the box where I keep my duct tape.
* Old joke: When do you use duct tape on a duck? When it’s got a quack.

U.S. NEWS

EXECUTIVE OF BEYOND MEAT COMPANY ARRESTED FOR BITING A HUMAN

The COO (chief operating officer) of the Beyond Meat company, which makes plant-based meat substitutes, was arrested Saturday night for allegedly biting a man’s nose after an Arkansas football game. Doug Ramsey had just watched Arkansas defeat Missouri State at Razorback Stadium. As he was leaving the parking lot, another car bumped his front tire. Ramsey allegedly went ballistic, jumping out of his car and punching through the back windshield of the other man’s Subaru. That driver got out and started punching Ramsey. Ramsey the bit the man’s nose, “ripping the flesh off the tip of the nose,” according to police. Ramsey was arrested on charges of 3rd-degree battery and making terroristic threats.
* And making weird, meatless hamburgers, too.
* You can’t hear this story and tell me humans aren’t genetically predisposed to be carnivorous.
* Most violent game of “I Got Your Nose” ever.
* Of all the places to bite a guy, why did he pick his nose? PICK HIS NOSE!
* Did the guy have a big enough nose so he could spare losing some? Thinkin’ of YOU, Adrian Brody.
* Can he get a fake nose-tip he can glue on for special occasions, like Michael Jackson?
* Even Mike Tyson said, “No, man, go for the ear. Less cartilage.”

GUY LEAVES $3,000 TIP, THEN TAKES IT BACK

A Pennsylvania pizza restaurant is suing a customer for $3,000 after the man left that amount in a tip but then asked for it back. Alfredo’s Pizza Cafe in Scranton says the fiasco began back in June after a customer named Eric Smith left his waitress a $3,000 tip on a $13 bill. Smith had ordered only a plate of stromboli, but he left the huge gratuity as part of a social media trend called “Tips For Jesus.” He said it made him feel good to do something so generous. But a few months later the restaurant received notice in the mail that Mr. Smith was disputing the charge, despite the fact that the restaurant had already paid the waitress. Alfredo’s decided to take Smith to court with the goal of recouping the money.
* And they want their stromboli back, too.
* $3,000 for a stromboli. Where did the guy think he was, Sbarro’s?
* Did he by any chance have, like, three pitchers of beer with his stromboli?
* Jesus wept.

TV WEATHERMAN FIRED OVER NUDE PICTURES

An Emmy-nominated weatherman for Spectrum News NY1 was fired after someone on an adult webcam site took nude photos of him and sent them to his boss. Meteorologist Erick Adame, in a statement on Instagram Monday, announced his termination and revealed that he was getting professional help over what he described as his “compulsive behavior.” He wrote, “Despite being a public figure and being on television in the biggest market in the country in front of millions of people five days a week for more than a decade and a half, I secretly appeared on an adult webcam website. It was absurd of me to think I could keep this private. Nevertheless, my employer found out and I was suspended and then terminated.”
* Thank god it was this guy. I was afraid it was going to be Al Roker.
* Sounds like visibility was 100%.
* What does a weatherman do on an adult webcam site? Show off his pointer?
* Oh, please! If I was going to do this I’d wear a Batman mask. It covers my whole head and no one can see it’s me. I mean … hypothetically.
* This was an unusual case of ball lightning.

HILTON TO DESIGN SPACE HOTEL

Hotel giant Hilton has signed on to design astronaut facilities for the private space station Starlab currently under development by Voyager Space Holdings and Lockheed Martin. The companies aim to have the first Starlab operational in low Earth orbit as early as 2027. Meanwhile, Hilton will be designing hospitality suites and sleeping arrangements for space travelers.
* Yet another prediction from “2001: A Space Odyssey” comes true – the space hotel in the movie was a Hilton.
* “Hello, front desk? I was just in the space shower, and while I was in there my wife (or luggage) was apparently sucked out through a hole in the wall.”
* Will the air conditioning unit still rattle even in the vacuum of space?
* Every night the maid leaves a mint hovering above your pillow.
* Expect your luggage to be accidentally sent to Mars.
* Will you have a chance to join the 200-Mile High Club?
* They should have gone with Motel 6: “We’ll leave the stars on for ya.”

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

NOTES FROM QUEEN ELIZABETH’S FUNERAL

Here are a few things that happened during yesterday’s funeral for Queen Elizabeth II:
– President Joe Biden and first lady Jill Biden were seated 14 rows back during the service at Westminster Abbey, although the first couple was among the few dignitaries who were granted permission to travel in their own presidential limousine. (* The head of France? Bus.)
– Several people on social media noted a spider on the Queen’s coffin as the ceremony took place. The critter was seen crawling across a card placed on the coffin alongside the crown and a floral display. (* I heard her hair was full of spiders.)
– Royal fans were brought to tears as the Queen’s loyal corgis waited at Windsor Castle for her coffin to arrive. As the procession proceeded past hundreds of mourners that lined Windsor’s Long Walk, waiting at the castle were her two beloved corgis Muick and Sandy. Pictures of the adorable pups standing patiently for Her Majesty’s coffin to arrive left emotional royal fans reaching for the tissues. One person wrote: “This has destroyed me.”
* What about the corgis? Making them sit there all that time and then their master doesn’t get out of the car? That’s just mean.
* America could really use a strong but pleasant presence like the queen. What’s Tom Hanks doing lately? Could he be our queen?

TRENDING

KELLY CLARKSON GETS WALK OF FAME STAR

Kelly Clarkson got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame on Monday. Helping out with the ceremony were the three original “American Idol” judges, Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson. Kelly Clarkson was on the very first season of “American Idol” in 2002 and ended up winning, launching a very successful career. At the ceremony, Simon jokingly called out Paula Abdul for arriving late to the event.

TIM MCGRAW FALLS OFF THE STAGE

Tim McGraw was performing at the Boots in the Park music festival in Tempe, Arizona, on Saturday and took a tumble off the stage. McGraw got down on one knee to praise his guitar player’s solo, but his tight jeans appeared to make him lose his balance as he tried to stand back up. He stumbled backwards a couple of steps and sort of jumped-fell off the stage into the pit. Security helped break his fall, and Tim popped back up without missing a beat, singing and shaking hands with the fans on the other side of the barricades. You can find the footage on TikTok.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Sept. 22, Thursday – Fall begins, Equinox is 9:04 p.m. EDT
Oct. 10, Monday – Columbus Day
Oct. 16, Sunday – National Boss Day
Oct. 31, Monday – Halloween

BIRTHDAYS

Jon Bernthal (actor, “The Many Saints of Newark,” “The Punisher,” “The Walking Dead”) … 46
Ben Shepherd (bass player with Soundgarden) … 54
Kristen Johnston (actress, “Mom”, “3rd Rock from the Sun”) … 55
Gunnar and Matthew Nelson (music duo, twin sons of Ricky Nelson) … 55
Gary Cole (actor, “Veep”, “The Good Wife”) … 66
George R.R. Martin (author, “Game of Thrones”) … 74
Sophia Loren (actress) … 88

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“Boy, there are days where I get up and say ‘Where the hell did my talent go?'”

(A) Eddie Murphy
(B) Melissa McCarthy
(C) George R.R. Martin

ANSWER: (C) George R.R. Martin

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

COVID-19 in History:
2021 – Pfizer announced they had developed a safe COVID-19 vaccine for 5-11 year olds with the dose 1/3 of the strength.

2013 – Video game “Grand Theft Auto” became the fastest entertainment product to reach $1 billion in sales.
* Although, as soon as you drive it off the lot, it loses 10% of its value.

2011 – The United States military ended its “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy, allowing gay men and women to serve openly for the first time.
* Like Barry Goldwater said in 1993, “You don’t have to be straight to shoot straight.”

1997 – The Chilean Festival of Cat Cookery, featuring top dishes made from kitties, was canceled after protests by animal rights groups.
* And by North Korean restaurants who accused them of stealing their recipes.

1995 – The U.S. House voted to drop the national speed limit. This allowed the states to decide their own speed limits.
* Uhm … what’s a “speed limit”?

1961 – An Argentinean man became the first ever swim across the English Channel and back.
* Forgot his cigarettes.

1946 – The first Cannes film festival was held to celebrate the best in French movies.
* And since then they’ve managed to make just three where the heroine didn’t smoke 400 cigarettes before making love with three different guys and committing suicide.

1924 – Excavations in Egypt uncovered the world’s oldest stones.
* Mick Jagger and Keith Richards.

1921 – The first radio newscast was broadcast, on KDKA, Pittsburgh, PA.
* The lead story was “You’re listening to the first radio news broadcast.”

1859 – George Simpson patented the electric range.
* The early models weren’t too powerful – a three-minute egg took about four-and-a-half days.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2018 – Paul McCartney was at No.1 on the US chart with his 17th solo studio album Egypt Station. It was his first No.1 album in the US since 1982’s Tug of War and his first to debut atop the Billboard 200.

1994 – The Los Angeles Attorney’s Office announced they would not be bringing child molestation charges against Michael Jackson.

1973 – Jim Croce was killed in a plane crash on his way to Sherman, Texas for a concert.

1970 – Doors singer Jim Morrison was found guilty of indecent exposure after he flashed on stage.

1964 – The Beatles met Bob Dylan in New York. Dylan was the person who introduced them to marijuana.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. 62% of people surveyed said they would be unwilling to do THIS if their partner asked them to. What is it?
Become a vegetarian

2. In a recent survey, 90% of couples said they think doing THIS strengthens their relationship. What is it?
Taking a road trip

3. According to research, 75% of married couples dealing with THIS situation will end up divorced. What is it?
One partner smokes, the other does not

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