TUESDAY, July 5 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR TUESDAY, July 5, 2022
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: BEAVIS & BUTT-HEAD DO THE MARVEL UNIVERSE; CONTEST – MIXED-UP MOVIE

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

BIKINI DAY (The “modern” two-piece swimsuit debuted on this date in 1946. Note: corrected from an earlier post on July 1.)

NATIONAL APPLE TURNOVER DAY

NATIONAL GRAHAM CRACKER DAY

July is:

Adopt a Rescued Rabbit Month
Air Conditioning Appreciation Month
Baked Bean Month
Cell Phone Courtesy Month
Family Reunion Month
International Blondie and Deborah Harry Month
National Anti-Boredom Month
National Blueberries Month
National Grilling Month
National Hot Dog Month
National Ice Cream Month
Melon Month
Wild About Wildlife Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies

TUESDAY, July 5

“America Outdoors with Baratunde Thurston”
PBS – New Series
Synopsis: Six-part series follows Thurston on an adventure-filled journey to explore the diverse array of regions across the U.S. and how those landscapes shape the way Americans work, play and interact with the outdoors.

Season Premiere:
“Titans” – TNT

WEDNESDAY, July 6

“The Challenge: USA”
CBS – New Competition Show
Synopsis: Winners of CBS reality shows compete in various athletic challenges.

“Maggie”
Hulu – New Series
Synopsis: Follows a young woman trying to cope with life as a psychic.

“Hello, Goodbye, and Everything in Between”
Netflix – New Movie
Synopsis: Clare and Aidan make a pact to break up before college — no regrets, no broken hearts. But will one epic goodbye date offer them a last chance at love?

“Girl in the Picture”
Netflix – New True Crime Documentary
Synopsis: A woman found dying by a road leaves behind a son, a man claiming to be her husband, and a mystery that unfolds like a nightmare.

“The Green Planet”
PBS – New Series (from the BBC)
Synopsis: Sir David Attenborough travels the world to explore the extraordinary ways in which plants have learnt to survive and thrive in almost every environment.

Season Premiere:
“Big Brother” – CBS

WOODSTOCK POSTER ARTIST DIES

Arnold Skolnick, the artist best known for creating the iconic poster for the 1969 Woodstock music festival, died June 15 at the age of 85 due to respiratory failure. The festival had initially enlisted another artist to design their poster. That artist came up with a nude woman posing with an urn, which was deemed inappropriate. They asked Skolnick if he could come up with something on a Thursday; he had it done Monday afternoon – a white dove sitting on the neck of a guitar, with a hand holding a chord. Skolnick later said, “It was very simple. It said the whole thing. It said peace, it said music. It was very colorful, so people did not forget it.” The artist attended the first night of the festival, but left early due to the size of the crowd. He said, “If I had been 16 or 17, I probably would have enjoyed it.”
* You may be aware of some of his later work: “Garage Sale,” with a big arrow pointing left; and, of course, “Bike Lane Only.”
* Smart move, using a guitar image instead of, say, a tuba.
* I’m sorry to have to tell you that, sadly, the dove that was sitting on the guitar has also passed on.
* So, I guess what we can learn from this is that, yes, it was a slow news weekend.

JOEY CHESTNUT WINS HOT DOG EATING CONTEST AGAIN

Professional speed-eater Joey Chestnut won the Coney Island Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest for the 15th year. However, a bizarre incident unfolded early on in the contest when a protestor, wearing a Darth Vader mask and protesting Smithfield meat packer’s treatment of factory farm animals, rushed the stage and bumped into Joey Chestnut. Chestnut, his face stuffed with hot dogs, put the person into a chokehold before security rushed to remove the man. Without skipping a beat, Chestnut went right back to eating hot dogs. Chestnut ended up putting down 63 frankfurters, although he’d said he was “going for 80,” in an attempt to eclipse his 2021 record of 76.
* He shouldn’t have stopped at McDonald’s on the way to the contest. Stupid mistake.
* What are the two words you should never say when you’re at a restaurant with Joey Chestnut? “My treat.”
* How does this guy not have his own line of stretch pants?
* Imagine a girl trying to keep up with this guy on a dinner date.
* I don’t get Darth Vader. He doesn’t like how factory farm animals are treated, yet he has no problem blowing up entire planets.

THE BUZZ

CUSTOMER RATINGS OF RESTAURANT CHAINS

The American Customer Satisfaction Index has released their rankings of chain restaurants. Ratings were based on food order accuracy, restaurant layout, cleanliness, food quality, food variety, staff courteousness and ease of using a mobile app.
– Chick-fil-A ranked first with a Satisfaction Index score of 83.
– LongHorn Steakhouse and Texas Roadhouse both came in with a score of 80.
– Jimmy John’s, Domino’s, KFC, Cracker Barrel, Fridays are next at 78.
– Chipotle, Panera Bread, Pizza Hut, and Starbucks ranked at 77.
– Arby’s, Five Guys, Papa Johns, Chili’s and The Cheesecake Factory came in at 76.
– Burger King, Little Caesars, Panda Express, Subway, Denny’s and Red Lobster at 75.
– Dairy Queen, Dunkin’, Sonic, Buffalo Wild Wings scored 74.
– Wendy’s, Applebee’s and IHOP all had a score of 73.
– Jack in the Box and Taco Bell came in with a 72.
– Popeyes had a satisfaction score of 71.
– McDonald’s was last with an ACSI score of 68, three points lower than the next lowest.
* Way to rub it in, American Customer Satisfaction Index.
* We should mention that Staying Home and Cooking ranked 12.
* I’m sure McDonald’s is crying all the way to the bank.
* This is undeniable proof – that we sure have a lot of restaurant chains.
* Just remember, Americans currently give Trump a 43% favorable rating, so take these rankings with a massive amount of unnecessary salt, just like the food they’re ranking.

U.S. NEWS

SHARK ATTACKS LIFEGUARD DURING TRAINING EXERCISE

A Long Island lifeguard was playing a victim in an ocean training exercise Sunday when he was attacked by a shark. Smith Point Beach lifeguard Zack Gallo was out in the water playing the role of a victim for the others to rescue when he was bitten in the chest and right hand by the 4- to 5-foot-long shark. Gallo fought off the shark by “punching down” on it. Other guards already in the water rushed to help Gallo, who was “bleeding significantly,” but he was able to walk out of the water unassisted. He was taken to a hospital to get stitched up.
* It’s the equivalent of live-fire training in the army, I guess.
* “Golly, his screams are so realistic.”
* Maybe add a few spear guns to the training sessions? Or move them to a large hot tub?
* Well SOMEBODY got laid that night.
CLIP: The “Jaws” music.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)(com)/prep/wp-content/uploads/07-22-sharks-jawstheme(dot)mp3

MAN CAUGHT STEALING R2-D2 FROM DISNEY WORLD

A Florida man allegedly posed as a Disney World employee and stole a $10,000 replica of the Star Wars character R2-D2 in a bizarre attempt to get hired as a security guard. David Proudfoot, 44, of Kissimmee, was wearing a bright orange vest and a bogus name tag when he walked into Disney World’s Swan Hotel on May 31st and took the famous droid. While he was at it, he also stole a game machine from the hotel. Police were called after actual security guards reported seeing Proudfoot pushing a large cart and appearing “confused.” Proudfoot allegedly told cops he stole R2-D2 to “show weaknesses in the security of the resorts” after applying to be a guard at Disney World. Police later searched Proudfoot’s home and found thousands of dollars worth of stolen Disney World items, including light fixtures, a wooden towel cabinet and a gold necklace.
* Disney World – You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. The gift shops, I mean.
* Well, Disney World’s off for this guy. Time to see if Universal Studios is hiring.
* At least he didn’t sell R2-D2 to the Jawa on Tatooine.
* In trying to prove Disney security didn’t work, he succeeded in proving that Disney security did work. This is known as “pulling a Putin.”
* The Force wasn’t with him, but the Police Force was on him.
* Sorry, R2, time to bolt you to the floor.

FLORIDA MAN KILLS NEIGHBOR’S ROOSTER

James Nix, 54, of Jacksonville, Florida, was arrested last month after he killed his neighbor’s rooster dead. Nix said he was checking his mail when the rooster allegedly pounced. He grabbed a nearby stick and “accidentally” hit the rooster, owned by neighbor Jason Defelice, in the head, killing the man’s beloved pet. Mr. Nix later said, “I’m defending myself. I was fearing for my safety, and the chicken died.” Defelice, who lives across the street, later came home and found his rooster dead after the animal didn’t greet him as usual. Nix said, “Next thing you know, he calls the chicken police on me. Chickens die every day, people – at Churches, Popeyes and Kentucky Fried Chicken. Really.” He added, “I didn’t know to give it a 21-gun salute. CPR, mouth-to-mouth, you know? Or call the chicken ambulance?!”
* Idiot. It’s not mouth-to-mouth, it’s mouth-to-beak.
* He “accidentally” killed the rooster that’s been waking him up at dawn every day.
* If only he had just winged it.
* I guess the police took him down to the station, where detectives grilled him.
* Either way, now he’s totally clucked.

NAKED CRIME SPREE IN SOUTH JERSEY

A South Jersey man allegedly went on a nude crime spree last Friday. In Ansecon, New Jersey, Michael Davis, 37, was nude when he jumped into a car with a teen driver in a parking lot and forced the teen to take him to a nearby apartment complex. Once they pulled up, he stole the teen’s phone. Then, the naked man allegedly broke into one home with a mother and her two children inside. All three were able to safely flee. Davis then broke into a second home after climbing onto a second-story balcony. He began to attack a mother with her young baby inside, but she was able to fight him off, forcing him to flee. After that, he went into hiding but was found by officers when they arrived. Instead of surrendering, he led officers on a foot chase before he was finally cuffed. Davis was charged with burglary, criminal sexual contact, and lewdness.
* Lewdness from the nudeness.
* Maybe he was celebrating Indepantsless Day.
* “Stop right there, sir! Where do you think you’re groin?”
* Where did he do with the stolen cell phone while he was climbing the balcony?
* Man, naked is not how you want to be booked into jail.

AUDIO: BASEBALL MANAGER SINGS “TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALLGAME” DURING PROSTATE EXAM

The general manager of the San Francisco Giants’ minor league team, the Eugene Emeralds, sang “Take Me Out To The Ball Game” over the PA system while undergoing a prostate exam up in a stadium suite. It took place last Thursday, June 30 during the 7th inning stretch. Manager Allan Benavides underwent the procedure to raise awareness for prostate cancer during Men’s Health Month. His team, the Emeralds, lost the game, 4-3.
* I’ll stick with Bobblehead Night, thank you very much.
* You can hear the change in Benavides’ voice when the examiner, uh, “slides into home,” so to speak.
* A full prostate exam, and I bet the doctor didn’t even buy him some peanuts and Cracker Jack.
* The exam took place up in a stadium suite, in the rear.
* How’d you like to be the umpire at THAT game, checking the balls for illegal substances?
* I’m sure this kind of thing is common on farm teams.
* In baseball, that’s called an asterisk, because it’s your ass to risk.
CLIP: This was the only audio of it: 9 seconds of “Take Me Out To The Ball Game” sung during a prostate exam.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)(com)/prep/wp-content/uploads/07-05-BaseballManagerProstateExam(dot)mp3

A BURGER KING TWOFER

Burger King made the news twice in the past week:
1. Last week, the story of a Burger King employee named Kevin Ford, 54, made its way around the internet. Mr. Ford had worked at a Burger King at the Las Vegas airport for 27 years and had never missed a day’s work. On his 27th anniversary, he casually made mention of the fact, and his employers bought him some presents: a Starbucks reusable cup, a bag of Reese’s candy, pens and two rolls of Lifesavers. His daughter was outraged by their stinginess, and set up a GoFundMe for her father. She wrote, “He originally began working at this job as a single father when he gained custody of me and my older sister 27 years ago. Then as our family grew and he remarried, he continued to work here because of the amazing health insurance that was provided through this employer because it was unionized. Which got all four of his daughters through high school and college with full healthcare coverage. My dad continues to work here, because though he does look young, he is coming up on retirement age and leaving would cost him his retirement. In no way are we asking for money or is he expecting any money but if anyone feels like blessing him he would love to visit his grandchildren.” The internet has responded: In just over a week, the GoFundMe has received over $250,000.
* Now with the money, he can afford to eat at Five Guys.
* Was it a small bag of Reese’s candy, or a big bag?
* Ain’t no amount of money gonna get 27 years of French fry smell out of his clothes, though.

2. A fully intact Burger King restaurant that was built in the 1980s was discovered behind a wall in the Concord Mall in Wilmington, Delaware. An HVAC systems worker at the mall came across the abandoned space and took a picture of it, which went viral. The restaurant appears unchanged since it first opened in the late ’80s – original parquet flooring, patterned wallpaper and ’80s-style wall décor. As for what may happen to the space now that it has gotten so much attention, the empty-bellied burger joint’s future remains unclear. Mall manager Tom Dahlke confirmed the Burger King had opened at the mall in 1987 and was boarded up in 2009. He said that there are no serious offers for the space yet, but anyone whose dream it is to open a vintage-style burger joint should call him.
* Yes, call him quick, before someone opens the old freezer in the back.
* The ’80s? Damn. Coulda used it on “Stranger Things.”
* If you’re looking for a sure-fire investment opportunity, a fading burger brand at a failing shopping mall is definitely the way to go.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

HEAD OF EASYJET QUITS IN MIDDLE OF NIGHTMARE TRAVEL WEEKEND

As the national news couldn’t stop reporting, this past weekend was a nightmare for air travel. How bad was it? The Chief Operating Officer for Britain’s EasyJet airline up and quit amid anger over thousands of flights being cancelled. Peter Bellew joined the airline two-and-a-half years ago. But, like all the other airlines, EasyJet was hit with problems due to airport disruptions, low staff levels and workers set to strike in a dispute over pay. The airline announced that Mr. Bellew resigned to “pursue other business opportunities.”
* “… as long as they having nothing to do with flying.”
* Too bad – he had almost enough air miles for a trip to Tahiti.
* I’m unclear on the part about how the 4th of July is a big thing in England.
* True to form, EasyJet charged him an 85-euro office cleaning fee, 45 euros for changing the locks and 9 euros to handle the exit paperwork.
* You can bet he grabbed his golden parachute on the way out.

VENICE TO START CHARGING ADMISSION

Want to go to Venice, Italy? It’ll soon cost you an additional 10 bucks. Tourists planning to visit Venice for the day are now required to make a reservation and pay a fee of up to $10.50 each, according to new rules designed to help the historic city manage its millions of visitors. The new fee is set to go into effect in January. More than 80 percent of visitors to Venice arrive just for the day — more than 30,000 to 40,000 people per day.
* Be sure to get your hand stamped for re-entry if you have to run back to the car.
* So let’s say 35,000 people a day x $10 for 365 days brings in $127,750,000 a year. Maybe they can clean up a little of that graffiti!
* In a few years, they’ll have enough money to build a replica Venice just for tourists. With cleaner bathrooms and animatronic pigeons.
* For $10.50, I hope the fee includes a coupon for a free gelato.

TRENDING

CARRIE UNDERWOOD SINGS WITH GUNS ‘N ROSES

Carrie Underwood popped onstage during a Guns N’ Roses concert during their set at London’s Tottenham Hotspur Stadium last Friday night. Axl Rose sang the first verse and the chorus of “Sweet Child O’ Mine,” then announced to the audience, “Ladies and gentlemen, from Nashville, Tennessee, Ms. Carrie Underwood.” Carrie belted out the second verse and the chorus with Rose. She later returned during the encore to sing “Paradise City.”

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE: July 1-4 (four day weekend)

1. Minions: The Rise of Gru – $125 million
2. Top Gun: Maverick – $33 million
3. Elvis – $23.5 million
4. Jurassic World: Dominion – $19.7 million
5. The Black Phone – $14.4 million

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Sept. 5, Monday – Labor Day
Sept. 11, Sunday – Patriot Day
Sept. 22, Thursday – Fall begins, Equinox is 9:04 p.m. EDT

BIRTHDAYS

Dave Haywood (country musician, “Lady A”) … 40
Ryan Hansen (actor, “Veronica Mars”) … 41
Edie Falco (actress, “Nurse Jackie,” “The Sopranos” ) … 59
Huey Lewis (singer/songwriter/musician w/ Huey Lewis and the News) … 72

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I’ve never been all that interested or aware of what people are thinking about me or saying about me. I think that has kept me safest and sanest.”

(A) Britney Spears
(B) Kanye West
(C) Edie Falco

ANSWER: (C) Edie Falco

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

COVID-19 in History:
2021 – British Prime Minister Boris Johnson said he would scrap all COVID-19 restrictions in England on July 19, making it the most unrestricted country in Europe.
2020 – Florida reported a record 11,458 daily COVID-19 cases.
2020 – Mexico’s COVID-19 death toll passed 30,000 as it became the world’s 5th worst-affected country.

2016 – James Comey’s FBI released a report stating Hillary Clinton had been “extremely careless” in handling classified emails, but did not recommend prosecuting her.
* He didn’t want to join the “Clinton Body Count.”

1998 – Japan joined U.S. and Russia in space exploration with the launching of the Planet-B probe to Mars.
* The Japanese probe didn’t take many readings, but it took LOTS of pictures.

1989 – Former U.S. National Security Council aide Oliver North received a $150,000 fine and a suspended prison term for his part in the Iran-Contra affair.
* Then he went into radio, ’cause we’ll take anybody.

1946 – The first two-piece “bikini” swimsuit debuted in Paris.
* They took away all the material in the middle, and then charged more. (Note: This is a correction from an earlier posting on July 1.)

1865 – The U.S. Secret Service was established.
* So, not much of a secret, then.

1865 – The Salvation Army was formed.
* Later, there bell ringers would be among the first workers to discover repetitive stress injuries.

1643 – The first recorded tornado occurred – in Massachusetts!
* Why the weird weather? Scientists theorize early settlers might have initiated global warming with their cookstoves.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2019 – Madonna was at No.1 on the US album chart with her fourteenth studio album, “Madame X.” It became Madonna’s ninth No.1 album in the US.

2014 – The four surviving members of The Grateful Dead gave what they said would be their final performance, playing to over 70,000 fans at Chicago’s Soldier Field. The shows came 20 years after the death of lead guitarist Jerry Garcia, who played his last show in the nation’s third-largest city in 1995.

‎2003 – Johnny Cash made his last ever live performance when he appeared at the Carter Ranch. Before singing “Ring of Fire,” Cash read a statement about his late wife that he had written shortly before taking the stage: “The spirit of June Carter overshadows me tonight with the love she had for me and the love I have for her. We connect somewhere between here and heaven. She came down for a short visit, I guess, from heaven to visit with me tonight to give me courage and inspiration like she always has.” Cash died later that year on Sept 12th.

1995 – A viewing platform collapsed during a Grateful Dead concert in Wentzville, Missouri injuring about a hundred fans.

1989 – During a sold-out concert, Rod Stewart hit his head and knocked himself out in front of 15,000 horrified fans.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. A recent study says that men who have one of THESE earn 11% more on the job. What is it?
A wife

2. A survey of men found that most think women who have at least one of THESE make the best wives. What is it?
A brother

3. When they proposed to their partner, 57% of men surveyed did THIS. What is it?
Cried when she said yes

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