TOWN HOLDS PITY PARTY

The city of Sommerville, Massachusetts, hosted a “Pity Party” last night (Thursday) in the town square. The event’s Facebook page states, “A pity party is usually a kind of party you have by yourself to wallow in sadness – wear pajamas, binge on ice cream, listen to sad songs. Now imagine that as a free, community, block party in Union Square … sad for the whole family.” The idea came from local artist Greg Cook, who said people who are sad should be together in one place and not alone. The pity party featured “sad bands, depressing clowns, melancholy poetry, and video games that you just can’t win.” But there was free ice cream.
* Then at 9 pm they all drank the Kool Aid and died.
* Here’s the neat part: If you were happy, you were told you couldn’t attend, which made you sad, so then they let you in.
* Free ice cream sounds good when you’re sad, but then you weigh yourself in the morning, and you’re even sadder.
* Sad bands. So The Who played there last night, then.
* Wow, this Greg Cook guy must have gotten dumped HARD.
* I mean he’s not just feeling sorry for himself. He’s wallowing in it.
* Games included “Pin the Tail on the Loser.”
* There were pinatas of hearts for people to break wantonly.
* The multiplex was showing only sad movies: The Lone Ranger, Pixels, John Carter, The Fantastic Four, Mortdecai …
* Special phones were set up where you could get drunk and call your ex.
* Depressing clowns? Isn’t that a little redundant?