TIMES I HAVE APOLOGIZED TO MY WIFE

A man from Maine, who has a TikTok feed called The Leighton Show, has gone viral after posting videos of himself pointing out a lot of the small, funny things about family life. One of the more popular things he does is list the reasons why he apologizes to his wife. While he does these as a joke, all men know there’s a lot of underlying truth to this. Here are the things Mr. Leighton has apologized to his wife for:
– Standing in front of a drawer she wanted to open.
– I ruined the couch by sitting on it.
– I said “What” when I didn’t hear her, from two rooms away while I was frying bacon.
– I didn’t know a closer parking space was going to open up.
– My steak knife touched the plate for a fraction of a second.
– I applied the brakes.
– I suggested she use turn signals.
– I didn’t want to sell our house and buy one we can’t afford.
– I was limping too loudly after spraining my ankle.
– I went upstairs for the night without announcing it.
– A guy on TV cheated on his wife.
– I couldn’t stop the wind.
– Mosquitos were biting her.
– I used the kitchen the same day it had been cleaned.
– I moved in the same direction as her in the kitchen.
– I interrupted her story to let her know her hand gestures were dragging her sleeves through her soup.
– I wanted to watch something other than a house hunting show.
– I sneezed more than three times in a row.
– The missing TV remote was found closest to me.
– I didn’t like a show that she recommended.
– I couldn’t smell something that she could.
– I didn’t sound excited enough in my text message.
– I didn’t make the bed right.
– I touched her foot while she was sleeping
– The Christmas tree was crooked.
– I inserted the knife into the butter without noticing that there were four toast crumbs on it.
– I made a noise while tripping.
* And this was just in the first week of October.
* How long did he date her to get to know her? One afternoon?
* This is a sorry excuse for a man.
* Honestly, though, this guy has the whole marriage thing completely figured out, doesn’t he?