THURSDAY, Sept 21 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR THURSDAY, September 21, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: OKTOBERFEST – WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A DRUNKEN GERMAN; BROUGHT TO YOU BY

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

INTERNATIONAL PEACE DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“International Peace Day seeks a global cessation of violence and war. Each year on this day, celebrations are held in hundreds of countries, all with the same goal in mind – to stop war and violence. Created and sponsored by the United Nations, this day seeks to end war, starting today. The United Nations’ goal for this day is ‘a day of non-violence and cease-fire.'”

MINIATURE GOLF DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Miniature Golf Day is today, so hit your local miniature golf course for some fun. Miniature golf is popular with adults and children. It’s a great date for couples, young and old. It’s a great place to hold a birthday party for kids. You don’t have to be good at miniature golf. With twists, turns, and a variety of obstacles, your score is partially the result of luck. And that’s half of the fun of it. Take someone with you today to play a round or two of miniature golf. We certainly hope that your day is up to par!”

NATIONAL PECAN COOKIE DAY

WORLD ALZHEIMER’S DAY

WORLD GRATITUDE DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“World Gratitude Day is your opportunity to show your gratitude and appreciation. The United Nations Meditation Group created World Gratitude Day to express appreciation for the great things that individuals and groups do. This recognition is on a global basis. According to their website: ‘World Gratitude Day presents an award to someone who we feel has done something outstanding in the spirit of Globalism.’ This group also suggests that you find something to be grateful for, and remember the feeling.”

September is:

Baby Safety Month
Better Breakfast Month
Chicken Month
Classical Music Month
Hispanic Heritage Month
Honey Month
Little League Month
National Piano Month
Self Improvement Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
Listings sourced from the TV Guide and EW websites.

THURSDAY, Sept 21

“Young Love”
Max – New Animated Series
Synopsis: Continues the story of the characters seen in the Oscar-winning short, “Hair Love.”

Season Premieres:
Hulu – “American Horror Story: Delicate: Part 1” (debuted on FX Sept. 20)
Netflix – “Sex Education”

FRIDAY, Sept 22

“Still Up”
Apple TV+ – New Series
Synopsis: Bonded by insomnia, best friends Lisa and Danny stay connected to each other late into the night and find their way through a world of wonderfully weird surprises as their relationship deepens.

“No One Will Save You”
Hulu – New Movie
Synopsis: A creative but lonely young woman’s alienation turns literal when extraterrestrials invade her childhood home one night.

“Deadlocked: How America Shaped the Supreme Court”
Showtime – New Docuseries
Synopsis: Examines the vital role the Supreme Court plays in the context of America’s shifting political landscape, featuring an in-depth look at pivotal cases that altered the state of the union.

“The Continental: From the World of John Wick”
Peacock – New Miniseries
Synopsis: Explores the origin behind the iconic hotel-for-assassins centerpiece of the John Wick universe through the eyes and actions of a young Winston Scott (the Ian McShane character). Winston charts a deadly course through the hotel’s mysterious underworld in a harrowing attempt to seize the hotel where he will eventually take his future throne.

“Cassandro”
Prime Video – The theatrical release comes to streaming
Synopsis: Gael García Bernal stars as Saúl Armendáriz, known to fans of Mexican wrestling as Cassandro, the flamboyant “Liberace of Lucha Libre.” It charts the openly gay wrestler’s rise to fame as he embraces his true identity in the macho sport.

Season Premiere:
Netflix – “Love Is Blind”

SUNDAY, Sept 24

“Krapopolis”
Fox – New Animated Series
Synopsis: Set in mythical Ancient Greece, the series centers on a flawed family of humans, gods and monsters that tries to run one of the world’s first cities without killing each other. Everybody’s snarky, and there’s an emphasis on vulgar sex jokes. What did you expect?

HALLMARK CHANNEL ANNOUNCES CHRISTMAS MOVIES 2023

The Hallmark Channel has announced its lineup of holiday movies for 2023 – 42 Christmas movies that will air on the Hallmark Channel and its several offshoots. Here are the titles:
– Checkin it Twice, Where Are You, Christmas?, Under the Christmas Sky, Ms. Christmas Comes To Town, Christmas By Design, Mystic Christmas, Joyeux Noel, My Christmas Guide, Flipping For Christmas, Never Been Chris’d, The Santa Summit, Mystery on Mistletoe Lane, Everything Christmas, Christmas Island, A Heidelberg Holiday, A World Record Christmas…
And…
Navigating Christmas, A Merry Scottish Christmas, Holiday Hotline, A Season For Family, Catch Me If You Claus, Letters To Santa, Holiday Road, Christmas In Notting Hill, Haul Out The Holly, Our Christmas Mural, A Biltmore Christmas, Three Wise Men and a Baby, Time For Her To Come Home For Christmas, My Norwegian Holiday, A Not So Royal Christmas…
And…
Christmas With a Kiss, Rescuing Christmas, To All A Good Night, Magic in Mistletoe, Round and Round, An Ice Palace Romance, Heaven Down Here, The Secret Gift of Christmas, Sealed With a List, Friends & Family Christmas, A Holiday Spectacular, Miracle in Bethlehem Pennsylvania.
* There’s got to be some sort of literary law about overusing the word ‘Christmas,’ no?
* The old joke is true: What has 27 actors, three settings, two writers, and one plot? 632 Hallmark Christmas movies.
* I can never watch these. Every time somebody is talking outside and you can’t see their breath in the cold air, it reminds me they’re fake.
* Still waiting for just one Hanukkah movie.
* I’m holding out for A Texas Chainsaw Massacre Christmas.

FETTERMAN WILL WEAR A SUIT IF REPUBLICANS AVOID SHUTDOWN

As you may have heard, U.S. Senator John Fetterman, the Democrat from Pennsylvania famous for wearing sweatpants and a hoodie, is at the center of a dress code furor at the Capitol since Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) instructed the chamber’s sergeant-at-arms to stop enforcing the dress code requiring coats and ties for male senators on the floor. The order is now called “The Fetterman Rule.” Republicans are, of course, furious at the new dress code saying it “debases” the institution of Congress. On Wednesday, Fetterman made a concession. He tweeted: “If those jagoffs in the House stop trying to shut our government down, and fully support Ukraine, then I will save democracy by wearing a suit on the Senate floor next week.”
* You see what he did there, right? He’s technically saying he’ll wear a suit ONLY next week.
* Oh, great. Now NO ONE in the House will stop trying to shut down the government or fully support Ukraine, ’cause then they’d be admitting they’re one of “those jagoffs.”
* Knowing Republicans, if I were Brooks Brothers I wouldn’t bother keeping my doors open late expecting a last-minute sale.
* He’s bluffing. How do we know he won’t be wearing sweatpants under his trousers?
* What a sacrifice. I believe it was that great Founding Father Patrick Henry who said, “I regret I have but one seersucker suit to give for my country.”

THE BUZZ

THREE DUMB HEADLINES

Time for another episode of Three Dumb Headlines. These are actual, word-for-word headlines of stories found on the internet. There’s no story, no context, just the actual headline. Discuss them amongst yourselves. Then, encourage listeners to vote for the Dumbest Headline on your station’s social media page. Maybe ask them to leave a comment. Reveal the results in the next break.
Today’s Dumb Headlines:
1. “How A Makeup Artist Re-Created The ‘Mona Lisa’ With Potatoes”
2. “One of America’s Best Tailors Lives in Middle-of-Nowhere Maine”
3. “If You’re Not Washing Your Bras This Often, Things Can Go South”
And here’s a spare, in case you don’t like one of those three: “Do Butt Masks Actually Work?”

WEIRD DATING REQUIREMENTS

Reddit asked, “What’s the weirdest dating requirement you have?” Some of the responses:
– “I never swiped right on anyone with a fishing pic. I love fishing, but if your main pic shows you holding a fish, then you’re super basic to me. Every other dude is holding a fish in their profile, and I want something unique.”
– “No flip-flops on dudes.”
– “I refuse to date a woman who wears baseball caps backwards. I have no idea why, but this just triggers me.”
– “All tattoos must be spelled correctly.”
– “No dogs. I don’t like them and cannot live with them. It’s just not going to work.”
– “No horse people. It’s always very important to them, and I’m too scared of horses to be supportive.”
– “I will only take a man’s last name if it comes before mine in alphabetical order.”
– “Not having the same name as my sister or my mom.”
– “My wife said she wouldn’t swipe right on anyone with a gym pic or dog because she didn’t want to get up on a weekend morning with a hangover and need to do stuff.”
– “I’ve decided that anybody I plan to spend my life with has to be willing to buy and ride a tandem bike with me.”
* PHONE TOPIC: What is your weird dating requirement?

PEAK HAPPINESS: AGE 9

A new study finds has found that life satisfaction pretty much peaks at age 9, and then decreases between the ages of nine and 16. But then it peaks again at the age of 70. The study, which comes out of that well-known college German Sport University in Cologne, Germany, examined the subjective well-being over the entire lifespans of 460,902 participants. From that group, they studied 443 samples that described how people felt about themselves during childhood, young adulthood, and eventually old age. Overall, children saw their life satisfaction drop off during adolescence, declining from age nine to 16. (* Stupid puberty!) Life satisfaction then increases “slightly” until the age of 70, when it dropped off again until the age of 96.
* Of course you feel good at age 70, because you just got done with 69. Hi-YOOOOOOO!!!!
* This has got to be great news for all those Asian kids in the sneaker factories. 9-years-old is IT, baby!
* Kinda makes sense, being as how we’re just a little more than a month away from giving kids free candy.
* Results may vary, especially if you’re the kid who always gets teased and robbed of his lunch money.
* Peak happiness at age 9 explains a lot. I’m going to have to go home and play with my Star Wars Legos and think about this.

U.S. NEWS

AUDIO: SOUTH CAROLINA MAN IMITATES SOUND OF F-35 CRASH

A South Carolina man went viral on Wednesday for a wild interview with a local news station in which he imitated the sound he heard of the F-35 jet crashing near his home. Randolph White, a retired paper mill worker in Georgetown, South Carolina, was interviewed by a local TV news crew. Mr. White said he was “in the bathroom taking a shave” when he heard the crash. He said he didn’t call anyone because he didn’t know what it was.
* Randolph White, Earwitness to History.
* Then he said, “No, wait – that was the sound of the Justin Bieber concert I went to.”
* It’s the same as the sound of the pilot screaming when he ejected.
* Randolph can also throttle it back 99% to make the sound of a squeaky door opening.
CLIP: Randolph White describes the sound of the crash.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)(com)/prep/wp-content/uploads/SoundOfF35Crashing(dot)mp3

KRAFT CHEESE CHOKERS

Kraft is recalling about 83,000 cases of its individually wrapped Kraft Singles American cheese because they might pose a choking hazard. The company said that a “temporary issue” with one of its wrapping machines means a “thin strip of the individual film may remain on the slice after the wrapper has been removed.” If that isn’t removed, it could be “unpleasant and potentially cause a gagging or choking hazard.” Kraft issued a recall after “several” customer complaints of finding the piece of plastic on its cheese, including six complaints from eaters that choked or gagged on it. The faulty machine has since been fixed.
* 83,000 cases of processed cheese is, what, half a day’s worth in the U.S.?
* A reminder: the plastic is the clear stuff. The cheese is the plastic yellow stuff.
* This is what you get for being too lazy to slice a block of cheese.
* With Kraft Singles, I figure, eat the whole thing and let my body sort it out.
* There’s Stephen King’s next book – the cheese-wrapping machine that wants to kill people.

WOMAN JUMPS INTO OUTHOUSE TO RETRIEVE APPLE WATCH

A Michigan woman jumped into an outhouse to retrieve her Apple watch. It happened Tuesday morning at an outhouse near the boat launch at Dixon Lake, near Gaylord in Northern Michigan. People heard the woman’s cries for help from inside the outhouse. Conservation officers, troopers, and Otsego County EMS all responded to the scene and hoisted the woman up from inside the toilet, which she’d lowered herself into, looking for her Apple Watch.
* And then, they just tossed her straight into the lake.
* If you drop your Apple watch in an outhouse, there are two very good reasons to not go after it: #1… and #2.
* That story does say ‘outhouse,’ right? It’s not ‘boathouse’ autocorrected?
* The watch took a licking but kept on ti—- eyuuuu.
* Might wanna tighten that wristband a little. Just a suggestion.

PROPOSED AIDS MEMORIAL SLAMMED FOR RESEMBLING AN ANUS

A sculpture planned for the city of Palm Springs, California, meant to honor victims of the HIV/AIDS epidemic, has come under criticism. The computer rendering of the sculpture shows a nine-foot-tall limestone… donut. On one side are artistically-carved concentric circles. But on the reverse side are… puckers. Visualize a 9-foot-tall puckered donut. Some residents – who really care about respecting the subject – say it resembles, to put it nicely, “the backside of a human being.” More than one Palm Springs resident fears the sculpture will end up being mocked on social media. The city’s AIDS Memorial Task Force says they would consider feedback from the community and make revisions to the sculpture’s design.
* They need to “take the temperature” of the community, as it were.
* Art always has critics. Don’t just bend over and take it. Fight back!
* The artist could have done better. Aimed higher, so to speak.
* I wonder if they’ll scrap the hole thing?

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Sept. 23, Saturday – Fall begins (Autumn Equinox is 2:50 a.m. EDT)
Oct. 9, Monday – Columbus Day
Oct. 16, Monday – National Boss’s Day
Oct. 31, Tuesday – Halloween

BIRTHDAYS

Nicole Richie (rich brat, manufactured celebrity, “The Simple Life” reality show, “author,” “fashion designer”) … 42
Luke Wilson (actor, “Stargirl,” “The Ridiculous 6”) … 52
Ricki Lake (actress, TV talk host) … 55
Tyler Stewart (drummer with Barenaked Ladies) … 56
Faith Hill (country singer) … 56
Rob Morrow (actor, “Numb3rs,” “Northern Exposure”) … 61
Bill Murray (actor, comedian, original SNL cast member) … 73
Don Felder (guitarist with The Eagles) … 76
Stephen King (horror author) … 76

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“Don’t think about your errors or failures, otherwise you’ll never do a thing.”

(A) Lance Armstrong
(B) Tiger Woods
(C) Bill Murray

ANSWER: (C) Bill Murray

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

1998 – Bill Clinton’s video testimony in the Lewinsky case was broadcast.
* And the transcript is still a best-seller available in the “Fiction” section of bookstores everywhere.

1981 – The U.S. Senate confirmed Sandra Day O’Connor to be the first female justice on the Supreme Court.
* Ending a long-standing tradition of male judges … passing “Playboy” around behind the bench.

1970 – “NFL Monday Night Football” made its debut on ABC-TV.
* And a young Dennis Miller sat at home making wisecracks at the TV set.

1913 – The first aerobatic stunt was performed, when a pilot in France conducted the first sustained upside-down flight.
* The crowd went wild – running to grab the change from his pockets.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2007 – Snoop Dogg was sentenced to three years probation and 160 hours of community service after pleading guilty to carrying a collapsible baton. The rapper was arrested in September 2006 after the baton was found in his bag at John Wayne Airport in Orange County, California. In April 2007 he was given five years probation and 800 hours community service after pleading no contest to gun and drug charges in a Californian court.

2003 – Hilary Duff was at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “Metamorphosis.”

1991 – Color Me Bad scored their first U.S. No.1 single with “I Adore Mi Amor.”

1989 – The Bangles issued a press statement confirming that the group were splitting. They reformed in 2000.

1986 – The National Inquirer Magazine featured a picture of Michael Jackson in an oxygen chamber with a story claiming that Jackson had a bizarre plan to live until he was 150 years old.

1985 – With the help of heavy MTV exposure, “Money For Nothing” gave Dire Straits their first U.S. No.1 single.

1980 – Bob Marley collapsed while jogging in New York’s Central Park. After hospital tests he was diagnosed as having cancer.

1974 – Barry White went to No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Can’t Get Enough Of Your Love Baby,” the singer’s first and only U.S. solo chart topper.

1968 – Jeannie C. Riley went to No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Harper Valley PTA.” Jeannie won a Grammy for the best female country singer of the year.

1961 – 21 year-old singer-songwriter Bob Dylan recorded his debut album in one day. The studio bill was $400.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. On average, THIS begins to happen to men at the age of 37. What is it?
They start acting like their father

2. Men who do THIS live longer than those who don’t. What is it?
Kiss their wife before going to work

3. On average, it takes men 2 1/2 years to do THIS. What is it?
Admit they’re losing their hair.

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