THURSDAY, Oct 26 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR THURSDAY, October 26, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: THE FIVE CHAMBERS OF HORROR 2023; CRYPTHUNTERS; PROMOS-TO-GO

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL MINCEMEAT DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“National Mincemeat Day celebrates a sweet and tasty meat treat. Today, it is most often served as Minced Meat Pie. Over the years, the amount of meat in the recipes was reduced. More modern recipes contain little or no meat, and it is largely a fruity pie. It remains a traditional pie at Thanksgiving for many families. So, just what is mincemeat? It is a mixture of minced (or chopped up) meats, suet, and fruits. Fruits include raisins, apples, pears, and others. Sometimes liquor is added, most commonly brandy or rum.”

NATIONAL MULE DAY
The National Day Calendar website says this:
“A mule is a hybrid cross between a male donkey and a female horse. The mule possesses the strength, intelligence, patience, perseverance, endurance, sure-footedness and even temper of the donkey. From the horse, the mule inherits beauty, athletic ability, courage, vigor and speed. Mules appear to require less food than a horse of similar size.”

NATIONAL PUMPKIN DAY

PRETZEL DAY

October is:

Adopt a Shelter Dog Month
American Cheese Month
Car Care Month
Child Health Month
Consumer Information Month
Cookbook Month
Country Music Month
Fire Prevention Month
National Pizza Month
National Popcorn Month
National Service Dog Month
Vegetarian Awareness Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
Listings sourced from the TV Guide and EW websites

THURSDAY, Oct 26

Season Premiere:
“American Horror Stories” – Hulu

FRIDAY, Oct 27

“Fellow Travelers”
Showtime – New Limited Series
Synopsis: Story of the decades-long romance between Hawkins Fuller – a slick charmer who advances his career in politics by keeping his private life locked up tight – and Tim Laughlin – an eager young idealist who gets under his skin, just as Joseph McCarthy and Roy Cohn kick off their Lavender Scare crusade against “subversives and sexual deviants” in the government.

“South Park: Joining the Pandaverse”
Paramount+ – Comedy Special
Synopsis: While Cartman has dreams about the end of the world as he knows it, the adults of South Park are coping with how to deal with AI.

“Pain Hustlers”
Netflix – New Movie
Synopsis: Stars Emily Blunt as a mother who joins a flailing pharma startup in Florida, and ends up finding herself in the middle of a criminal conspiracy. Chris Evans stars as her coworker and Andy Garcia stars as their unhinged boss.

“The Enfield Poltergeist”
Apple TV+ – Limited Series
Synopsis: Recreates the chilling true story of the world’s most famous poltergeist case through original audio recordings made inside the house as the events unfolded.

Season Premieres:
“Penn & Teller: Fool Us” – CW
“Shoresy” – Hulu

SUNDAY, Oct 29

Season Premiere:
“The Gilded Age” – HBO

THE BUZZ

DUMB HEADLINES

Time for another episode of Three Dumb Headlines. These are actual, word-for-word headlines of stories found on the internet. There’s no story, no context, just the actual headline. Discuss them amongst yourselves. Then, encourage listeners to vote for the Dumbest Headline on your station’s social media page. Maybe ask them to leave a comment. Reveal the results in the next break.
Today’s Dumb Headlines:
1. “Can You Eat The Pumpkin You Used For A Jack-O-Lantern?”
2. “How Restaurants Choose Their Water Glasses”
3. “Using Toilet Paper Is Grosser Than You Think. Here’s A Better Idea.”
And here’s a spare, in case you don’t like one of those three: “The Best Potato Chips to Pair With Caviar”

TIME MAGAZINE’S GREATEST FOOD INNOVATIONS OF 2023

Time magazine, which used to be – honestly, ask your grampa – a respected news source, has come out with best food inventions of 2023. Here are some of them:
– The ChefDoodler: Her name is Eleanor. No, just kidding. The ChefDoodler is a pen that draws with sugar. Basically, a glue gun that dispenses candy.
– Luna UCR: A new type of avocado that takes fewer resources to grow than a traditional Hass avocado. It also turns black as it ripens, taking the guesswork out of whether it’s ready to eat.
– GE Profile Smart Stand Mixer: The mixer features a built-in scale and voice control capability.
– Spinn Pro: A fully automatic coffee maker that does it all, from grinding whole beans down to using centrifugal force to brew your coffee. You can control it from your phone. (* Wow! They managed to make it do what 90% of all other coffeemakers do! That’s genius!!”
– Nama J2 Cold Press Juicer: Simply toss large chunks or whole fruits into the device and you’ve got juice, no slicing required.
– Lunchables microwaveable grilled cheese sandwich that comes out crisp, thanks to a special cooking sleeve designed for that purpose. (* Nice job, copying off of Hot Pockets.)
– Heinz Remix: A digital sauce-dispensing machine that allows you to customize your dipping sauces, with over 200 possible combinations of bases like ketchup, ranch, barbecue sauce, and 57 sauce. (* Enjoy cleaning out and restocking the little reservoirs every ten days!)
– Row 7 Seed Company Sweet Garleek: A leek that has the flavor of garlic.
– Dreamfarm Fluicer: The Fluicer is a citrus juicer is designed to coax out every little drop of juice from your fruit, while also folding up flat in your kitchen drawer when not in use.
* Dreamfarm Fluicer. Someone was drunk when they came up with THAT name: “Here, Joey, I made you a nice, big glass of fluice!”
* How did those Raspberry Rally Girl Scout Cookies that sold out not make the list?
* Here’s what I want someone to invent: a different way to package supermarket lettuce and fruit and desserts that isn’t that thin plastic container you cut your fingers on trying to open.
* Oh, wait – this is a disguised advertisement. All these companies paid to be mentioned. Sorry… For a second there, I forgot how the world works.

U.S. NEWS

AUDIO: GIRL GETS HAIRCUT IN TACO BELL KITCHEN

The Howard County, Indiana, Health Department has opened an investigation into a picture going around social media of a girl getting a haircut in the kitchen of a Kokomo Taco Bell. A woman named Jennifer Legear who works at the Taco Bell took the picture. She posted it and said she has worked in the food industry for 10 years, and ”I definitely know what kind of things you’re not supposed to be doing inside of kitchens. Cutting hair is one of them. It was only about three feet away from where you make the food.” Legear said the haircut happened Thursday morning as the crew was getting ready for the lunch rush. The employee getting the haircut had a trash bag draped around her to keep hair off of her clothing.
* “Here’s your Quesadilla Combo. Would you like hygiene with that?”
* Oh, please – it was three feet away from the food. What are they afraid of, leaping fleas?
* The board of health is gonna flip when they see the waxing station.
* As the Taco Bell chihuahua used to say, “Yo qui-hairo Taco Bell.”
* When the manager heard, he wigged out.
CLIP: This isn’t the first time someone has tried to combine food and hair. Our classic “Cold Cuts” parody spot.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)(com)/prep/wp-content/uploads/02-27-CBL12-ColdCuts(dot)mp3

DRIVER IN HOV LANE HAD HALLOWEEN CLOWN IN PASSENGER SEAT

Washington State Patrol pulled over a driver in the HOV lane on Interstate 405 in Renton when they noticed he had a Halloween clown dummy in the passenger seat. It was a human-sized clown, the kind of scary yard clown you find at the home stores – red hair, big teeth, no eyeballs. The fine for misusing the High Occupancy Vehicle lane is $186, and an extra $200 is added if a doll or dummy is used.
* What if there were two dummies in the front of the car, which was the case here?
* So the HOV cops don’t appreciate any funny business.
* This guy turned the whole HOV system into a circus.
* Not enough passengers for the HOV lane? That’s weird – usually they squeeze 20 or 30 clowns into a car.
* What a bozo.
* Trick or Ticket.

MAN LOCKED IN DIAMOND VAULT FOR 10 HOURS

A customer accessing his safety deposit box at a New York business ended up locked in the vault for more than 10 hours. The man was in the vault in the basement of World Diamond Tower when employees who were unaware of his presence closed the door around 8:45 p.m. on Tuesday. Firefighters were called to the scene and were able to communicate with the man via security cameras and a phone system. They determined the vault was on a timer lock and couldn’t be opened by employees. Firefighters attempted to cut through a concrete wall to get into the vault, but stopped when they reached metal plating because they feared further efforts would put the man at risk of injury. They decided to just wait for the timer, as the man was not in danger of running out of oxygen. The customer was finally freed when the time lock opened at 6:15 a.m. Wednesday.
* Great. Who got to empty the trash can he used as a toilet? Probably, I mean. I know I would have.
* The worst part, of course: No wifi.
* I suppose there wasn’t even an emergency deck of cards. Sad.
* And while everyone was downstairs focused on this guy, somebody looted the diamonds from up on the main floor.
* Speaking of which, I hope they checked his pockets.
* So customers can just come and go in and out of the basement diamond vault with nobody keeping track of them? Interesting business model.

BOEING LOSING A TON ON NEW AIR FORCE ONE JETS

Boeing on Wednesday reported another $482 million in red ink on the contract to retrofit two 747 jets into the next generation of the Air Force One presidential plane. Boeing has now lost more than $1 billion on the contract to build the two jets. Boeing CEO Dave Calhoun admitted last year that the company should never have signed the contract with the Air Force to produce the jets for $3.9 billion. Supplier costs have soared since then, and the delivery date has been continually pushed back. The company said the latest losses are a result of engineering changes, labor instability, as well as the resolution of negotiations with one of its suppliers.
* Consider it payback for all that Boeing defense contract overcharging, Dave.
* They had to refigure the cockpit with new engine fire suppression buttons, after what happened earlier this week. That cost 8 million.
* And the president keeps asking for changes. Biden demanded there always be a fully-stocked early bird Golden Corral Buffet between the hours of 2-4PM, which added 10 million.
* And then there’s the new anti-skid stairs to reduce tripping.
* Maybe Air Force One doesn’t need a swimming pool. Just sayin’.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

MAN DIES EATING WRIGGLING OCTOPUS

A South Korean man died of a heart attack after choking on a “live octopus” dish with wriggling tentacles. The 82-year-old could not be revived after he choked on the dish known as san-nakji and suffered cardiac arrest Monday. Still-squirming octopus seasoned with salt and sesame oil is among the country’s most notorious delicacies. Though the dish’s name translates to “live octopus,” the octopus is actually killed before serving, with its tentacles cut into portions. It is served immediately after slicing while the tentacles’ nerves are still active, causing them to wiggle on the plate. Before this latest case, several other people died in similar fashion.
* Most of them from a case of the willies.
* I bet I know a restaurant that’s losing one of its Michelin stars.
* I know an old lady who swallowed a spider. It wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside ‘er.
* I wonder what Rob Riggle thinks of this story?
* In 82 years, you’d think a man would know the difference between food and live bait.
* Time to bring back the old “chew your food 24 times.”

TRENDING

TODAY’S ADOLESCENTS DON’T WANT SEX IN MOVIES

According to a UCLA Center for Scholars & Storytellers study titled “Teens and Screens,” slightly more than half of Gen Z adolescents want to see more platonic relationships or friendships in movies and TV as opposed to romance or sex scenes. The study surveyed 1,500 adolescents ages 10-24. They found:
– 51.5% of adolescents wanted more content centered around friendships and platonic relationships than romantic ones.
– 47.5% of adolescents said that sex isn’t needed for the plot of most TV shows and movies.

MEG RYAN EXPLAINS WHY SHE WAS AWAY FROM HOLLYWOOD

Meg Ryan is opening up about what prompted her eight-year break from Hollywood. Speaking to People magazine, Ryan simply wanted to focus on other things, including motherhood. She says, “There’s just so many other parts of my experience as a human being I wanted to develop.” She was able to spend more time with son Jack Quaid, whom she shares with ex-husband Dennis Quaid, and daughter Daisy Ryan. (* So it wasn’t the hideous facelift? Of course it was!)

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Oct. 31, Tuesday – Halloween
Nov. 5, Sunday – Daylight Saving Time Ends, turn clocks back 1 hour
Nov. 11, Saturday – Veterans Day
Nov. 23, Thursday – Thanksgiving
Dec. 21, Thursday – Winter begins, winter solstice occurs at 10:27 P.M. EST
Dec. 25, Monday – Christmas
Dec. 31, Sunday – New Year’s Eve
Jan. 1, Monday – New Year’s Day 2024

BIRTHDAYS

Folake Olowofoyeku (actress, “Bob Hearts Abishola”) … 40
Jon Heder (actor, cartoon voice actor, “Blades of Glory,” “Napoleon Dynamite) … 46
Seth MacFarlane (writer, producer, director, actor, “Family Guy”, “The Orville”) … 50
Anthony Rapp (actor, “Star Trek: Discovery”) … 52
Keith Urban (country singer) … 56
Thomas Cavanagh (Canadian actor, “The Flash,” “Scrubs,” “Ed”) … 56
Natalie Merchant (singer/songwriter) … 60
Dylan McDermott (actor, “Law & Order: Organized Crime”) … 62
Rita Wilson (actress, Mrs. Tom Hanks) … 67
Keith Strickland (musician with the B52’s) … 70
Hillary Clinton (former presidential candidate, former U.S. Secretary of State, former First Lady) … 76
Pat Sajak (TV game host, “Wheel of Fortune”) … 77
Jaclyn Smith (actress, businesswoman, “Charlie’s Angles” TV show) … 78

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“Sometimes I just cry at random stuff!”

(A) Jason Statham
(B) Danny Trejo
(C) Keith Urban

ANSWER: (C) Keith Urban

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2015 – The World Health Organization classified processed meat as carcinogenic.
* Whoops! Somebody didn’t get their payoff.

2001 – The United States passed the USA PATRIOT Act into law.
* Otherwise known as the “Airport Groping Act.”

1995 – The first World Congress of Housewives was held in Buenos Aires.
* Among the topics they discussed were: “The role of the home-maker in 20th Century Life,” “Changing societal conceptions of the modern housewife,” and “Anybody feeling desperate?”

1939 – Phillips invented the world’s first dry electric shaver.
* Which replaced the rack as the main instrument of modern torture until the dentist’s drill was invented.

1929 – T.W. Evans became the first woman to give birth aboard an aircraft.
* But probably not the first to conceive aboard an aircraft.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2019 – A olive green Manhattan brand acrylic and mohair cardigan worn by Kurt Cobain during Nirvana’s famed appearance on MTV Unplugged become the most expensive sweater sold at auction after fetching almost $340,000. A custom Fender guitar built in 1993 that Cobain used during the band’s In Utero tour was also sold for about $345,000.

2011 – Aerosmith was forced to delay a concert in South America after Steven Tyler fell in his hotel bathroom. The singer suffered cuts to his face and lost two of his teeth ahead of a concert in Asuncion, Paraguay. He was said to have received stitches and had emergency dental work, forcing the gig to be postponed by 24 hours.

2011 – A coroner’s inquest on the death of Amy Winehouse reached a verdict of misadventure. Winehouse’s blood alcohol content at the time of her death was more than five times the legal drunk-driving limit. According to the coroner “The unintended consequences of such potentially fatal levels was her sudden death.”

2003 – American Idol runner-up Clay Aiken was at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “Measure Of A Man.”

2002 – Jessica Simpson married former 98° member Nick Lachey. The couple were featured on MTV’s “Newlyweds” TV show.

1993 – Catholic churches in San Juan, Puerto Rico asked residents to tie black ribbons on trees in protest against Madonna’s first live appearance in the country.

1991 – Ozzy Osbourne broke his foot after an accident on stage at a gig in Chicago, causing him to cancel the remaining dates of a U.S. tour.

1991 – Legendary promoter Bill Graham was killed when the helicopter he was flying in hit a 200′ utility tower in Sonoma County, California.

1985 – Whitney Houston went to No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Saving All My Love For You.”

1984 – 19-year-old John D. McCollum killed himself with a .22 caliber handgun after spending the day listening to Ozzy Osbourne records. One year later, McCollum’s parents took court action against Ozzy and CBS Records, alleging that the song “Suicide Solution” from the album Blizzard of Ozz contributed to their son’s death. The case was eventually thrown out of court.

1974 – Barry White scored his only U.S. No.1 album with “Can’t Get Enough.”

1965 – The Queen of England presented The Beatles with their MBE’s at Buckingham Palace, England.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. Over 40,000 men are injured every year doing THIS. What is it?
Cleaning the house

2. Almost 30 percent of men do THIS at least once a week. What is it?
Wash their car

3. In a recent survey, almost half of the men said they’d like to be THIS. What is it?
A house-husband

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