THURSDAY, Nov 16 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR THURSDAY, November 16, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: BROUGHT TO YOU BY

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

BUTTON DAY
The Days of the Year website says this:
“The National Button Society, founded in 1938, established Button Day as a celebration for all who enjoyed collecting and crafting with buttons. Buttons are an excellent source of craft ideas. You’d be amazed at how many delightfully cute gadgets can be made and/or decorated using buttons, such as picture frames, clocks, purses and bags, headbands, costume jewelry, lamp shades, and even shoes! So take some time on this day to either go though your existing button collection or start a new one, and enjoy Button Day to the fullest!”

(THE) GREAT AMERICAN SMOKEOUT (Third Thursday of November)
The Win Calendar website says this:
“The Great American Smokeout seeks to encourage smokers to quit or plan to quit smoking, which has been shown to cause a variety of cancers, most notably lung and mouth cancer. Lung cancer is the leading cause of cancer death in the United States and the most preventable type of cancer worldwide.”

HAVE A PARTY WITH YOUR BEAR DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Is your Teddy Bear a real ‘party bear’? Hopefully he is, because today is Have a Party With Your Bear Day. And, what a swell day it is going to be! You get to have a party. And, you get to spend time with your Teddy Bear. Get out the party banners and balloons. Make a cake. Send out the invitations. Invite all of your teddy bears, and your human friends, too. Let them bring their teddys along. Today is going to be a fun day.”

NATIONAL FAST FOOD DAY

November is:

Adopt a Senior Pet Month
Great American Smoke Out Month
National Adoption Month
National Military Family Month
National Native American Heritage Month
Raisin Bread Month
Stamp Collecting Month
Vegan Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
Listings sourced from the TV Guide and EW websites.

THURSDAY, Nov 16

“Drive With Swizz Beatz”
Hulu – New Docuseries
Synopsis: Follows hip-hop legend and avid car collector, Swizz Beatz, and his son, Nasir Dean, as they travel around the world and immerse themselves in local culture through cars.

Season Premieres:
“Julia” – Max
“The Crown” – Netflix

FRIDAY, Nov 17

“EXmas”
Freevee – New Movie
Synopsis: Robbie Amell and Leighton Meester play a formerly engaged and currently broken-up couple who find themselves stuck together for the holidays when his parents invite her to join them for Christmas, thinking he can’t make it because of work. But when he drops by unexpectedly, everything you think will happen does in fact happen.

“Monarch: Legacy of Monsters”
Apple TV+ – New Series
Synopsis: Set after the battle between Godzilla and the Titans, revealing that monsters are real, follows one family’s journey to uncover its buried secrets and a legacy linking them to the secretive organization Monarch.

“Please Don’t Destroy: The Treasure of Foggy Mountain”
Peacock – New Movie
Synopsis: Follows three friends who live together. When they realize that they don’t like their life trajectory, they set off to find a gold treasure that is rumored to be buried in the nearby mountain.

“Rustin”
Netflix – New Movie
Synopsis: Activist Bayard Rustin faces racism and homophobia as he helps change the course of Civil Rights history by orchestrating the 1963 March on Washington.

“Scott Pilgrim Takes Off”
Netflix – New Anime Series
Synopsis: Adaptation of Bryan Lee O’Malley’s graphic novels, featuring the reassembled cast from 2010’s “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World.”

“Twin Love”
Prime Video – New Sex Encounter Show
Synopsis: Ten sets of identical twins, five groups of women and five groups of men, are split up into two different houses so each house has one of each twin set. Then they try to hook up.

PATRICK MAHOMES WEARS SAME PAIR OF UNDERWEAR EVERY GAME

Patrick Mahomes, quarterback for the Kansas City Chiefs, admits he has worn the same pair of underwear for every game since his rookie year. While appearing on ESPN’s “ManningCast” with Peyton Manning and Eli Manning during “Monday Night Football,” Mahomes said his wife, Brittany, got them for him, and he threw ’em on his first season [in 2017] and, he says, “We had a pretty good season that season.” Mahomes explained that he only slips into the old undies, which are said to be red, on game days, clarifying that they are “not too worn down” or “nasty.”
* Those must be some pretty skeevy skivvies.
* I’ll bet every square inch of ’em isn’t red.
* “Patrick, honey, this isn’t quite what I had in mind when I bought them for you.”
* The Chiefs will never have to worry about being penalized for too long in the huddle. No one wants to stand near him.
* Some athletes have weird supersniffins – er, superstitions.
* The ManningCast – where’s there’s no such thing as Too Much Information.

GWYNETH PALTROW’S SKI CRASH TRIAL TO BE TURNED INTO A MUSICAL

Gwyneth Paltrow’s high-profile legal battle with a 76-year-old retired optometrist over a ski slope collision has been turned into a musical for the London stage. The show is called “Gwyneth Goes Skiing.” It’s based around the trial, which happened last March. Sanderson, a 76-year-old retired optometrist, alleged that Paltrow violently collided with him on a ski slope and left him seriously injured while she and her entourage continued down the slopes. Sanderson initially sued for $3 million, but after that suit was dismissed, he amended his claim to $300,000. Paltrow filed a counterclaim, alleging that Sanderson was overstating his injuries and trying to exploit her wealth and celebrity. Paltrow was ultimately found not liable for the crash. She asked for $1 in damages, plus court costs. After the verdict in favor of Paltrow, she walked up to him and whispered in his hear, “I wish you well.” The optometris, in the end, said that the lawsuit wasn’t “worth the trouble.” And now, they’re going to sing all that.
* Next, the optometrist sues for a share of the musical.
* I’ll wait for the Lego version, thank you.
* Why didn’t they name it “Little Slope of Horrors.” Or “Ramalot.”
* A musical celebrity court trial. It’s just the same old song and dance.
* I predict the investors are about to take a spill.

THE BUZZ

DUMB HEADLINES

Time for another episode of Three Dumb Headlines. These are actual, word-for-word headlines of stories found on the internet. There’s no story, no context, just the actual headline. Discuss them amongst yourselves. Then, encourage listeners to vote for the Dumbest Headline on your station’s social media page. Maybe ask them to leave a comment. Reveal the results in the next break.
Today’s Dumb Headlines:
1. “Here Are The Most Interesting Cars I Saw In Aruba”
2. “Is Fungus The Key To Good Skin?”
3. “I Grew Up With A No-Pants Mom. Is That Normal?”
And here’s a spare, in case you don’t like one of those three: “Wisconsin Company Makes World’s Longest Meat Stick”

BURNING WITH THE RAGE OF A WHITE-HOT SUN

Reddit asked, “What’s a seemingly small, trivial thing that makes you instantly burn with the rage of a white-hot sun?” Some of the responses:
– “When my clothes get stuck on a handle/ protruding object as I’m walking and I get yanked backwards without warning.”
– “When your headphone lead gets caught and it pulls your headphones out.”
– “When opening anything always requires scissors or a knife.”
– “Having trouble finding my sleeve when getting dressed.”
– “Standing in line at a gas station behind someone who’s buying lottery tickets.”
– “When somebody else decides to stay in the kitchen, when you’re obviously cooking or doing a lot of meal prep, then constantly gets in the way, uses the sink the moment you’re about to use it, or loiters in the general kitchen area.”
– “When individuals stand up on a plane the second the plane lands.”
– “People who place their bottles perpendicular to the check out belt at the groceries so they’ll start rolling when the belt starts moving. Hate it.”
– “Opening the car door but you didn’t open it far enough so it closes on your leg that is half out of the car.”
– “Being early for a doctor appointment, yet they still don’t get you into a room until well after your scheduled time.”
– “Peanut butter on a knife, in the sink .”
– “Men in shoes with no socks. Absolutely livid.”
– “When my neighbor parks in front of my house instead of in front of their own house.”
– “Speed-typing a sentence on the computer, looking up and realizing I typed it in all caps, then erasing and re-typing it only to find I again typed it in all caps.”
– “Accidentally dropping something for the third time in a row.”
* Wow. All I want for Christmas is a mood stabilizer.
* So all of us would be happier if everybody else didn’t exist. Nice.
* But, come on. Who leaves a knife with peanut butter on it? It gets licked off, that’s the rule.
* Reddit also asked, “What are some small, seemingly insignificant things that make you feel good, and glad to be alive?” Still waiting for someone to write in.
* PHONE TOPIC: What small thing gets you instantly angry?

U.S. NEWS

AUDIO: HUMANE SOCIETY UNKNOWINGLY PLACES RABBITS & GUINEA PIGS WITH REPTILE FARM

Last July, the San Diego Humane Society had a large amount of rabbits and guinea pig in its shelter, and they were overcrowded (* Maybe separate the males and females. Just an idea.). They asked the Humane Society of Southern Arizona in July for help with finding homes for the small creatures. 323 small animals were transferred to Arizona. They were placed in the care of a man who facilitated animal adoptions, but that man ended up placing them with his brother —- who operates a reptile farm. (* Note: play “Arms of the Angles,” below, here.) When the Arizona Humane Society learned about this, they asked for the animals back. 62 were returned. The rest were… well… delicious.
* Time to review those background checks.
* I’m sure the Humane Societies were shocked outraged, and by outraged I mean secretly thankful. What are you really gonna do with 300 guinea pigs?
* These guys give rabbits and guinea pigs to a reptile farm, but god forbid you mention that you want to let the cat you’re trying to adopt go outside in the fresh air. You’ll get a three-hour lecture.
* The Circle of Life? It’s more like The Circle of Protein.
CLIP: Here’s a minute of “In the Arms of the Angels” by Sarah McLaughlin
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)(com)/prep/wp-content/uploads/ArmsOfTheAngel(dot)mp3

THE CAR CHASE TV CHANNEL

Pluto TV and Local Now have launched a 24/7 car chase channel showing all the best car chases out there. The channel will include live feeds of real-time chases plus a curated list of some of the best car chases from local news stations around the United States. According to the network, there are over 10,000 car chases every year in California alone.
* Finally, a male alternative to HGTV.
* What constitutes a “best” car chase? Most collateral damage? Least amount of pedestrians hit?
* Can an award show be far behind? The Golden Spike Strip Awards. “And the Spikey goes to… ”
* Or better yet: “And the OJ goes to…”
* It’s okay, but it’s only half an idea. Get back to me when you build in a way to bet on the results.

PEANUT, THE 21-YEAR-OLD CHICKEN

A Michigan farmer believes she has the world’s oldest chicken. Marsi Darwin, a retired librarian who runs a 37-acre farm with her husband Bill, is the owner of Peanut, a 21-year-old chicken. The average lifespan of a chicken ranges between 5 to 10 years. Peanut was hatched in May 2002. The chick was rejected by its mother, so Darwin brought Peanut inside and hand-raised her. The baby bird was much smaller than the other chickens, which is how she earned the name Peanut. Peanut eventually socialized outside with the other chickens,and lived in the coop for about 13 years, but about six years ago in the winter, Peanut came into the screened porch of Darwin’s home and refused to leave the warm room. She lives now in a wire coop in the living room with a view of the outdoors. She eats mostly fruits and vegetables. Guinness World Records officially certified Peanut as the oldest living chicken in the world.
* You just know there’s a roasting pan with Peanut’s name on it, waiting in the kitchen.
* It’s the Betty White of chickens.
* How has she lived so long? She’s plucky.
* Average lifespan is 5 to 10 years. After that, it’s all gravy. Mmmm… Chicken and gravy…
* Wow. Marsi has been insulting the chicken for 21 years calling her “Peanut.” That’s just mean.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

CROHN’S SUFFERER TREATS SELF WITH MOM’S STOOL, THEN EXPERIENCES MENOPAUSE

A Canadian man who was hospitalized by debilitating Crohn’s disease found relief after treating himself with small amounts of his mother’s stool. But then he started experiencing her menopause symptoms, too. Charlie Curtis, from Toronto, Canada, who’s in his mid 30s, did DIY “poop transplants,” for over four years, which involves a doctor taking a fecal sample from a healthy donor, and blending it with a saline solution. The mixture is then inserted into the recipient’s gastrointestinal tract through an enema. The recipient absorbs healthy bacteria from the donated stool, and this repopulates the bacteria in their gut. Mr. Curtis had been using his mom as a donor and the treatment was working. But then he started experiencing sweating, hot flashes, and mood swings, similar to what his menopausal mom was experiencing. Says his mom, Sky Curtis, “At the time, I was going through menopause. And so was he!”
* And then he started wearing leopard-skin skirts and tried to pick up young, dumb men in bars.
* Once again, I have to apologize to anyone eating breakfast.
* How does one approach this? With a Mother’s Day card? “As a mom, you’re pretty cool. / Can I have some of your stool?”
* Who thought this up? Some proctologist on an acid trip?
* All I know is, this will all work out in the end.
* There’s what happened, folks. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

TRENDING

JIMMY KIMMEL TO HOST THE OSCARS AGAIN

Jimmy Kimmel will return as Oscar host once again. This will mark his fourth time in the role. Kimmel was the host when Warren Beatty was given the wrong envelope and mistakenly announced the wrong “Best Picture in 2017, and he was again the host in 2022 when Will Smith slapped Chris Rock. He hosted this year, 2023, but nothing out of the ordinary happened.

KEVIN HART TO GET MARK TWAIN PRIZE FOR COMEDY

Comedian Kevin Hart has been chosen to receive the Kennedy Center’s Mark Twain Prize for lifetime achievement in American humor. Hart has become one of the country’s most bankable performers, with 11 of his films opening at No. 1 at the box office. All told, his films have grossed more than $4.23 billion in global revenue, so that means he’s funny. The ceremony will be on March 24, and broadcast at a later date.

TOP PET NAMES FOR 2023

According to pet site Rover.com, here are the Top Pet Names for 2023:
Male dogs: Charlie, Max, Cooper, Milo, Buddy, Reddy, Rocky, Bear, Leo and Duke.
Female Dogs: Luna, Bella, Daisy, Lucy, Lily, Lola, Zoe, Sadie, Stella and Bailey.
Male Cats: Oliver, Milo, Leo, Charlie, Loki, Max, Simba, Jack, Ollie and Jasper.
Female Cats: Luna, Bella, Lily, Lucy, Nala, Callie, Kitty, Cleo, Willow and Stella.
The top trending names for dogs included Kelce, Wednesday, Oak, Lainey, Minnow, Smokey, Estrella, Emme, Robbie and Chia. Trending names for cats were Norbert, Soju, Snoop, Choco, Fuzz, Tsuki, Know, Munch, Luffy and Maizey.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

TODAY – The Great American Smokeout
Nov. 23, Thursday – Thanksgiving
Dec. 21, Thursday – Winter begins, winter solstice occurs at 10:27 P.M. EST
Dec. 25, Monday – Christmas
Dec. 31, Sunday – New Year’s Eve
Jan. 1, Monday – New Year’s Day 2024

BIRTHDAYS

Pete Davidson (comedian, actor, “Saturday Night Live”) … 30
Maggie Gyllenhaal (actress, “The Deuce”) … 46
Missi Pyle (actress, “Mom”) … 51
Martha Plimpton (actress, “The Real O’Neals”) … 53
Lisa Bonet (actress, “The Cosby Show”) … 56
Harry Lennix (actor, “The Blacklist”) … 59
Keith Burns (country singer-guitarist w Trick Pony) … 60
Marg Helgenberger (actress, the original “CSI”) … 65

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“Sometimes things go really well, and sometimes they don’t, and it’s not ultimately the most important thing.”

(A) Harvey Weinstein
(B) Hillary Clinton
(C) Maggie Gyllenhaal

ANSWER: (C) Maggie Gyllenhaal

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2012 – “Call of Duty: Black Ops 2” grossed $500 million in 24 hours to become the biggest entertainment launch of all time.
* Aren’t Black Ops supposed to be a secret?

1973 – “Skylab 3” carrying a crew of three astronauts, was launched from Cape Canaveral, FL on an 84-day mission.
* Anything to get away from those polyester leisure suits.

1971 – The invention that made personal computers possible was made public today, when Intel introduced a single microchip that contained an entire central processing unit (CPU).
* I always thought it was the credit card that made personal computers possible.

1966 – Dr. Samuel H. Sheppard was acquitted in his second trial of charges he had murdered his pregnant wife, Marilyn, in 1954.
* But they went ahead and made “The Fugitive” anyway.

1963 – Touch-tone phones were introduced.
* This was followed by a flood of wrong numbers as people tried to play “London Bridge Is Falling Down” on their phones.

1960 – Playwright Arthur Miller and actress Marilyn Monroe got divorced.
* And he was at last able to grip a pen again without his hand shaking.

1933 – The United States and the Soviet Union established diplomatic relations for the first time.
* And from then on, everything was ever so lovey-dovey!

1915 – The original Coke bottle was patented.
* For you kids listening, soft drinks used to actually come in glass bottles. Weird, huh?

1841 – The first life jacket was patented.
* I appreciate the life jacket, but how come no one ever invented a matching pair of pants?

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2014 – U2 singer Bono was involved in what doctors called a “high energy bicycle accident.” The singer was rushed to New York-Presbyterian/Weill Cornell Medical Center’s emergency department and underwent five hours of surgery. The injury forced the group to postpone a planned weeklong appearance on The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon.

2010 – The Beatles’ back catalog was finally made available on iTunes, after years of negotiations.

2002 – Texas muli-billionaire David Bonderman hired The Rolling Stones to play at his 60th birthday party held at the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas. The band’s fee was $7.6 million.

1988 – Former Beach Boys manager Stephen Love was sentenced to five years probation for embezzling almost $1 million from the group’s accounts.

1985 – Starship started a two-week run at No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “We Built This City,” now called by some “the worst rock’n’roll song in history.”

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. 65% of women say they calm their nerves before a date by doing THIS. What is it?
Singing

2. 20% of women lie about THIS on a first date. What is it?
Their real name

3. 43% of women say they’d be less likely to date a guy with THIS problem. What is it?
A bad credit score

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