THURSDAY, May 26 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR THURSDAY, May 26, 2022
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: SIGN SPINNERS SCHOOL; PROMOS-TO-GO

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL CHERRY DESSERT DAY

NATIONAL EAT MORE FRUITS AND VEGETABLES DAY

SALLY RIDE DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Sally Ride Day honors the first American woman to go into space. Dr. Ride accomplished this feat as a mission specialist aboard STS-7, the second flight of the Space Shuttle ‘Challenger.’ STS-7 was launched from Kennedy Space Center, Florida, on June 18, 1983. Celebrate Sally Ride Day (her birthday) by learning more about the U.S. space program and NASA. If any of you young ladies (and young gentlemen) have thought about becoming an astronaut, we encourage you to follow your dream of going into space. Exploration and taming of the frontier made America what it is today.”

May is:

Chip Your Pet Month / Pet Month
Date Your Mate Month
International Civility Awareness Month
National Barbeque Month
National Bike Month
National Egg Month
National Hamburger Month
National Military Appreciation Month
National Salad Month
National Salsa Month
Older Americans Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows

THURSDAY – May 26

“Fight or Flight”
discovery+ – New Docuseries
Synopsis: For more than 15 years, Bollywood star turned human rights advocate Somy Ali and her groundbreaking nonprofit No More Tears have rescued thousands of men, women, and children from domestic violence and sex trafficking. This docuseries follows Somy’s work as she illustrates the horrors and frequency of abuse, profiling the very real dangers and emotional impact of transforming a victim into a survivor.

Season Premiere:
“That Damn Michael Che” – Showtime

FRIDAY – May 27

“Obi-Wan Kenobi”
Disney+ – New Series
Synopsis: Ewan McGregor returns as the Jedi master 10 years after the events of “Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith.” With Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker.

“Rooms We Love”
discovery+ – New Series
Synopsis: Interior designers across the country show off the inspiration behind their favorite rooms.

“Shoresy”
Hulu – New Series
Synopsis: Foul-mouthed, chirp-serving, mother-loving, fan favorite character, SHORESY (Jared Keeso) joins the Sudbury Bulldogs of the Northern Ontario Senior Hockey Organization on a quest to never lose again.

Season Premieres:
“Stranger Things” – Netflix
“Carpool Karaoke: The Series” – Apple TV+

MONDAY – May 30

“The American Presidency with Bill Clinton”
History – New Docuseries
Synopsis: Hosted by former president and horndog Bill Clinton, who will try to keep it in his pants while exploring the history of the American presidency across episodes exploring race, extremism, the struggle for rights, presidential vision, and global power.

“Life Below Zero: First Alaskans”
Nat Geo – New Reality Series
Synopsis: Follows new Alaska Natives as they use different techniques and methods passed down from generation to generation in order to thrive in the brutal environments.

TUESDAY – May 31

“Pistol”
Hulu – New Docuseries
Synopsis: Based on the memoir “Lonely Boy: Tales from a Sex Pistol” by Sex Pistols’ founding member and guitarist, Steve Jones. Described as “a kaleidoscopic telling of three of the most epic, chaotic and mucus-spattered years in the history of music.”

“Bobby Brown: Every Little Step”
A&E – New Reality Show
Synopsis: After facing immense tragedy and adversity in the public eye, the Browns are ready to invite fans into their world as they embark on a new chapter of life.

“Dancing with Myself”
NBC – New Competition Show
Synopsis: Another %$#$@ dancing show. Yay. A group of dancers compete each week in a series of high-energy dance challenges that are designed and demonstrated by the show’s celebrity creators, including Shakira.

Season Premieres:
“America’s Got Talent” – NBC
“Fantasy Island” – Fox
“LEGO Masters” – Fox

ELLEN’S LAST SHOW TODAY

Today (Thursday, May 26) is Ellen Degeneres’s last talk show. It was taped earlier this week. An insider who was at the taping said there have been a lot of tears. “Her mood during the last two weeks was very crying, but a happy cry,” the source said. “All her crying was nothing but gratitude for what we had accomplished together. The sadness was that she wasn’t going to get to see her staff every day.” In the audience is DeGeneres’ wife, Portia de Rossi, and her brother, Vance DeGeneres. During the show, Pink sings “What About Us,” which is one of Ellen’s favorite songs. Her final guest is “Friends” star Jennifer Aniston, who was also Ellen’s first guest back on Sept. 8, 2003.
* Wow. So I guess that’s the end of all TV talk shows, right?
* Nice of her to end the show in a Thursday. What the hell are they going do to fill the afternoon slot on Friday?
* This could be the big comeback opportunity Roseanne has been waiting for.
* I don’t care – as long as nobody fills the time with a daytime dance competition.
* Jennifer Aniston’s going to need to find a hobby. Her entire career these past 20 years has been just appearances on Ellen, hasn’t it?

JULIA ROBERTS PROMOTES (?) HER UPCOMING MOVIE

Julia Roberts was at the Cannes Film Festival and took some time to promote her new film with George Clooney, “Ticket To Paradise,” due in theaters this October. When asked about the movie, she said, “Christ. I knew this would come up. Watch, the real acting happens now. Ready?” And then she put on a big smile, saying, “George, isn’t he great!? He plays my ex-husband. I think it’s so funny and George is so funny and George and I together, it’s probably going to be terrible because there’s too much potential for it to be great, it’ll just implode on it itself. I think that should be the commercial for the movie: ‘It’s probably going to be terrible.’ I’m so glad my publicist is on a plane right now.”
* Too bad. The publicist needs to release a statement saying Julia was having a bad reaction to some allergy medication.
* The movie studio, right now, is going, “Is it too late to reshoot this with Amber Heard?”
* “It’s probably going to be terrible.” Doesn’t Disney have that line copyrighted as the slug line for all of their Star Wars projects?
* Everybody relax!!!! We learned years and years and years ago not to expect much from any movie starring George Clooney.
* I’m starting to realize why Julia doesn’t make very many movies anymore.

THE BUZZ

THREE DUMB HEADLINES

Time for another episode of Three Dumb Headlines. These are actual, word-for-word headlines of stories found on the internet. There’s no story, no context, just the actual headline. Discuss them amongst yourselves. Then, encourage listeners to vote for the Dumbest Headline on your station’s social media page. Maybe ask them to leave a comment. Reveal the results in the next break.
Today’s Dumb Headlines:
1. “Blindfolded Man Catches Beach Ball 35 Times In One Minute”
2. “I’m A 28-Year-Old Woman And Have Maple Syrup Urine Disease”
3. “11 Surprising Causes Of Butt Pain”

And here’s a spare, in case you don’t like one of those three: “The Truth Behind Bread Bag Twist Ties”

STUDY: WEAR A SHIRT ON YOUR TINDER PICTURE

Researchers from the University of Colorado recently completed a study that claims men who fill their Tinder profiles with shirtless pictures are perceived as less competent and more promiscuous. In the study, 567 participants were shown fake profiles of a young, white, adult man named “Noah.” His pictures and descriptions varied along three factors: relationship motivation, muscularity, and sexualized appearance. Some versions of Noah were buff — and some, not so much. Some pictures were shirtless and in some he wore a white T-shirt. The different photos affected people’s perception of Noah. Women saw the shirtless man as higher in risky sexual behavior — and also lower in social appeal and competence.
* Yeah. And?
* Because that’s what everybody on Tinder is looking for: social appeal and competence.
* If you MUST appear shirtless, also include a puppy. Puppies trump everything.
* “Risky sexual behavior”? What does that mean? Like, sex on a trapeze?
* The full results of this study have been published in this month’s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.

U.S. NEWS

MONTANA SCHOOL PRINCIPAL MUST TAKE CARE OF HORSES

In what must have been some sort of senior prank, 12 students in Montana rode their horses to school on Monday – and, in accordance with an old law, the school principal had to take care of them. Conrad Public Schools said in a Facebook post that Conrad High School Principal Raymond DeBruycker was required by law to care for 12 horses when students rode them to school. The law says if a student rides their horse to school, the school principal has to feed and tend to the horse throughout the day. The district said the principal had “his work cut out for him” tending to the horses through the day.
* And so he did. By the way, chili’s on the lunch menu ’til the semester ends, kids. Also, you’ll need a ride home.
* “Attention, students. Anyone planning on using the gym today is advised to wear boots.”
* They have a similar law in New York City, only instead of a horse it’s a cockroach.
* Just wait. The principal asked John Dutton to teach the kids a lesson.

THEY’RE CROSSBREEDING COOKIES AND CRACKERS: OREOS AND RITZ

Ever had to choose between an Oreo or Ritz cracker? The answer is no, of course. There is no choice. It’s Oreo. But… the two brands are being mashed together for a limited “Ritz-times-Oreo” collaboration. The snack marries one Oreo cookie and cream with one Ritz cracker and peanut butter. If you want to try them, today (Thursday) is the day. At noon, a special website – #RitzXOreo – will give away 1,000 free packs of the treats. If you’re lucky enough to get one, you’ll have to pay the $3.95 shipping fee.
* I question the use of the word “lucky” in that sentence.
* Or – just thinking out loud here – you could buy some Oreos, some Ritz and some peanut butter and do it yourself. But that’s crazy talk.
* Do they provide instructions on how to just dip the Oreo half in milk?
* They should cross Lorna Doones and Little Debbie, and get Lorna Doobies.

CELL PHONES KILL MONARCH BUTTERFLIES

Monarch butterflies are endangered these days for a number of reasons. One of those reasons: cellphones. New research by a team at the University of Cincinnati has found that exposure to porch lights or even the glow of your cellphone can disorient monarch butterflies — making their internal navigation system go haywire. Patrick Guerra, a UC professor and co-author of the study, said even with a single work light that you find at a construction site, monarch butterflies treat it like it’s the sun. Night lights mess with a butterfly’s circadian rhythm and the processes involved in when to take flight and when to rest. Nighttime light pollution also poses some risk to their annual migration from Canada to Mexico, where they spend the winter.
* Fortunately there haven’t been any electric lights between Canada and Mexico for the past 100 years to interfere with the Monarch migration.
* Another problem with cellphones – the Monarchs spend way too much time on social media and miss their opportunity to fly to Mexico.
* Yeah, isn’t it annoying when you’re trying to call someone at night and you’re suddenly swarmed by hundreds of butterflies?
* I’m kind of unsure what this study is trying to get us to do. Blacklight cellphones? Little sunglasses for the butterflies?
* Every science website says monarch butterflies are active during the day and rest at night. Were these butterflies drinking too much coffee?

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

AUDIO: AUSTRALIAN MAN ATTACKED WITH DIDGERIDOO

A 26-year-old man has been arrested and accused of an unprovoked attack on another man with a didgeridoo after a soccer game in Melbourne on Saturday night. Police arrested Jesse Gardiner for striking the 25-year-old Essendon man with a didgeridoo outside the Melbourne Cricket Ground after the game. The victim, named Daniel, suffered a fractured skull, broken nose and bloodied eye. Daniel’s sister said, “I think it will take a long time for Daniel to get over it and have the courage to go out anywhere really.”
* Was he playing it outside the stadium, like a street musician? Do Australians just carry these things around to prove they’re Australian?
* The didgeridoo. It’s Australia’s vuvuzela.
* You hit someone with a didgeridoo, that behavior is going to boomerang and get you.
* There’s no need for violence in Australia. If you want to injure or maim somebody there, there are plenty of things in nature that will do it for you – spiders, snakes, crocs, stingrays, plants – it’s just a matter of time.
* “It’s going to take a long for Daniel to have the courage to go out anywhere.” So at least he’ll be safe indoors for a while.
CLIP: Some didgeridoo music to play under the story.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)(com)/prep/wp-content/uploads/DidgeridooMusic(dot)mp3

TRENDING

THOMAS RHETT PONDERING ALBUM ABOUT PARENTING

Country star Thomas Rhett, father of four kids, is mulling over the idea of recording an album for parents. He says, “I feel like that’d be super fun, you know, just to write from a super self-deprecating point of view of how challenging it is just to parent. Cause I feel like there’s a lot of people out there that would really enjoy listening to a piece of music like that. I think it’d be fun to write an album called Dadding. That’s something that would be intriguing to me, and it also sounds really fun.”

JOHNNY DEPP TRIAL: KATE MOSS TESTIFIES

Supermodel Kate Moss, a former girlfriend of Johnny Depp, denied Wednesday that she had ever been pushed or assaulted by Depp during the course of their relationship. Moss testified as a rebuttal witness in Depp’s libel lawsuit against ex-wife Amber Heard. Heard, in her testimony, had made a passing reference to Moss and a rumor that Depp had pushed Moss down a set of stairs when they dated. Moss, in testimony via video link, said Depp never assaulted her. She said she did once slip down a flight of stairs after a rainstorm at a Jamaican resort, and that Depp came to her aid. She testified for less than 5 minutes and was not cross-examined.

CRAIG MORGAN JOINS MEMORIAL DAY CONCERT

Country singer Craig Morgan has joined the bill for PBS’ 2022 National Memorial Day Concert, which honors military service members and puts a spotlight on veterans and military families. Taking place on Sunday, May 29, the day before Memorial Day, the 90-minute broadcast will feature music, dramatic readings and documentary footage. Morgan is among a long list of performers, including American Idol alumna Pia Toscano, Joe Mantegna, Gary Sinise, Jean Smart, Gil Birmingham and more.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

May 30, Monday – Memorial Day
June 14, Tuesday – Flag Day
June 19, Sunday – Father’s Day
June 21, Tuesday – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 5:14 A.M. EDT)
July 4, Monday – U.S. Independence Day
Sept. 5, Monday – Labor Day
Sept. 11, Sunday – Patriot Day
Sept. 22, Thursday – Fall begins, Equinox is 9:04 p.m. EDT

BIRTHDAYS

Lauryn Hill (singer) … 47
Matt Stone (co-creator of “South Park”) … 51
Helena Bonham Carter (actress) … 56
Lenny Kravitz (singer/songwriter/guitarist/actor) … 58
Bobcat Goldthwait (comedian, actor) … 60
Hank Williams Jr. (country singer) … 73
Stevie Nicks (singer) … 74

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“You know, the man of my dreams might walk round the corner tomorrow. I’m older and wiser and I think I’d make a great girlfriend. I live in the realm of romantic possibility.”

(A) Roseanne
(B) Cher
(C) Stevie Nicks

ANSWER: (C) Stevie Nicks

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2011 – Congress passed a four-year extension of post-Sept. 11 powers contained in the Patriot Act allowing the government to search records and conduct roving wiretaps in pursuit of terrorists.
* And anything else they wanted to do.

2004 – Terry Nichols, accomplice of Timothy McVeigh, was found guilty of 161 state murder charges for helping carry out the Oklahoma City bombing. He later received 161 consecutive life sentences.
* 161 life sentences? It’s not enough punishment, but it’s a good start.

1998 – The Supreme Court ruled that Ellis Island – historic gateway for millions of immigrants – is mainly in New Jersey, not New York.
* I think Tony Soprano had a hand in this.

1994 – President Clinton renewed trade privileges for China, and announced his administration would no longer link China’s trade status with its human rights record.
* Of course not! You can’t import billions of dollars of cheap stuff made by slave labor if you’re gonna worry about human rights!

1978 – The first legal casino in the eastern United States opened in Atlantic City, N.J.
* I think Tony Soprano’s DAD had a hand in THIS.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2015 – Authorities were investigating the death of blues legend B.B. King after two of his daughters claimed he was poisoned. Karen Williams and Patty King said the musician had been given “foreign substances to induce his premature death” by his business manager Laverne Toney. King died in his sleep at his Las Vegas home on May 14, 2015. Tests revealed King’s actual cause of death as Alzheimer’s disease, along with coronary disease, heart failure and the effects of Type 2 diabetes.

2009 – A U.S. judge ended a bitter two-year battle over the late soul singer James Brown’s estate. Judge Jack Early ruled half of his assets would go to a charitable trust, a quarter to his wife and young son, and the rest to his six adult children. Brown’s family, and wife Tomi Rae Hynie Brown, had fought over his fortune since he died of heart failure in 2006.

2000 – Drummer Tommy Lee was jailed for five days for drinking alcohol. Lee appeared in an LA court charged with violating his probation by consuming alcohol, an act that directly contravened the terms of his parole.

1997 – Bob Dylan was admitted to a Malibu hospital with chest pains, causing all his summer tour to be canceled.

1996 – A fire at the home of Eric Clapton caused over a million dollars’ worth of damage. Firemen arrived on the scene to find Clapton braving the blaze to save his collection of guitars.

1994 – Pop star Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley were married in the Dominican Republic.

1990 – David Bowie was sued by his ex-wife Angie for $56 million.

1990 – For the first time ever the top five positions in the U.S. singles chart were held by female artists. Madonna was at No. 1 with “Vogue,” Heart was at No. 2, Sinead O’Connor No. 3, Wilson Phillips at No. 4 and Janet Jackson was at No. 5.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. According to a survey, one in four of THESE is overweight or obese. What are they?
Pets

2. According to researchers, you are 30% to 40% less likely to die of cardiovascular disease if you have one of THESE in your home. What is it?
A cat

3. The average dog costs its owner $717 a year. $35 a year is what it costs to own THIS. What is it?
Fish

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