THURSDAY, May 11 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR THURSDAY, May 11, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: MOTHER’S DAY – HOLY MOE’S EAR GAUGE REPAIR; PROMOS-TO-GO

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

EAT WHAT YOU WANT DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“What would you like to have to eat today? Okay, great … health permitting, go ahead and have any and all of your favorite foods and snacks. Because today is Eat What You Want Day. Eat What You Want Day is definitely not a day for diets. It is one single, solitary day in the year to go off your diet and eat something you really enjoy. Today, you can set aside your dietary ‘No-No’ list. Today, you can splurge. Tomorrow, it’s back to the diet. It is important to note that today is not intended to eat as much as you want. Rather, the goal is to eat something you otherwise wouldn’t have. If you are watching carbs or calories, simply keep within your limits by eating just a small amount of that favorite treat. Caution: People with allergies and/or medical conditions, may not be able to fully participate in this day. Simply said: Do not risk your health to participate in this day.”

ROOT CANAL APPRECIATION DAY

TWILIGHT ZONE DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Twilight Zone Day is mysterious, weird, surreal and perhaps a little scary. We can think of many other adjectives, but I think you get the picture. Every once in a while, you have a day like this. And, today is designed to be that day. The television show The Twilight Zone, was created, narrated, and often written by Rod Serling. It premiered on October 1, 1959. The episodes were wildly popular, stretched the imagination, and captivated viewers. The show aired from 1959-1964.”

May is:

Chip Your Pet Month / Pet Month
Date Your Mate Month
International Civility Awareness Month
National Barbeque Month
National Bike Month
National Egg Month
National Hamburger Month
National Military Appreciation Month
National Salad Month
National Salsa Month
Older Americans Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
Listings sourced from the TV Guide and EW websites.

FRIDAY, May 12

“City on Fire”
Apple TV+ – New Series
Synopsis: After Samantha Yeung was shot in Central Park, New York City on July 4, 2003, the investigation into her murder reveals the crucial connection between a series of mysterious city-wide fires, the downtown music scene, and a wealthy uptown real estate family fraying under the strain of the many secrets they keep. Based on the novel.

“The Mother”
Netflix – New Movie
Synopsis: Jennifer Lopez stars in this action movie as a deadly assassin who comes out of hiding when the daughter she gave up years ago is kidnapped.

“Mulligan”
Netflix – New Animated Series
Synopsis: In this satirical comedy, when most of Earth is destroyed by aliens, can a few survivors rebuild what’s left of America and form a more perfect union?

Season Premieres:
Hulu – “The Great”
Netflix – “Queer Eye”
Paramount+ – “RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars”

SUNDAY, May 14

Season Premiere:
AMC – “Fear the Walking Dead”

THE BUZZ

THREE DUMB HEADLINES

Time for another episode of Three Dumb Headlines. These are actual, word-for-word headlines of stories found on the internet. There’s no story, no context, just the actual headline. Discuss them amongst yourselves. Then, encourage listeners to vote for the Dumbest Headline on your station’s social media page. Maybe ask them to leave a comment. Reveal the results in the next break.
Today’s Dumb Headlines:
1. “Idaho Man Catches 81 Tennis Balls With A Boxing Glove”
2. “Starbucks Charges $1 More For Popular Drink”
3. “I Made Spaghetti Bolognese Out Of My Knee Cartilage”
And here’s a spare, in case you don’t like one of those three: “Why Humans Should Be Able To Skip Rocks Way Better Than We Can”

THINGS AIN’T WHAT THEY USED TO BE

Reddit asked, “What product was better 10 years ago than it is today?” Some of the responses (Although most of these go back more than ten years):
– “YouTube”
– “News websites. They’re 90% ads with 10% news content. I can’t use them anymore, too many things going on at once.”
– “CARTOONS ARE TRASH NOW I remember Power Puff Girls, Flintstones, the Jetsons, Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, Invaders Zim, Johnny Bravo, Dexters Laboratory just to list a few.”
– “Chocolate”
– “Oreos”
– “Butterfinger candy bars. They don’t even remotely taste as good as they used to.”
– “Any Hostess snack cakes. I bought a box of chocolate cup cakes. They’re were so small it was two bites to finish it and the cream filling was not good.”
– “When Little Debbie turned her brownies into “Cosmic Brownies.”
– “My pet peeve is KLONDIKE ice cream chocolate covered bars. The so-called CHOCOLATE is so thin you can see through it.”
– “Furniture is made like it’s disposable.”
– “Couches! Currently trying to find a comfortable couch that isn’t complete garbage feels impossible.”
– “Levi’s jeans, used to last me a good while, now I’ve stopped wearing them after the last pair wore through in six weeks.”
– “Nike socks. I get holes in my socks in months now but still have pairs that were new in 2010.” (* And ladies….he’s single!)
– “Gas cans. Because of government safety changes, I can hardly get gas out of the new cans. I spill most of the gas on the ground now.”
– “Sharpies are nowhere near as good as they used to be.”
– “Happy Meal Toys!”
– “Toilet paper. It was consistently sized and you could compare brands. Now you’ve got no idea how to compare ‘regular’ and ‘double’ and ‘plus’ and ‘mega’ and they also keep making them narrower.”
– “Saran Wrap. Seriously, they took out whatever made it cling to itself. It’s useless now.”
* I remember when Reddit wasn’t stuffed full of so much useless filler.
* How about Flo from Progressive? Ten years ago she didn’t have all those dumb sidekicks hanging out with her.
* The moral here is, don’t mess with people’s snack food. Or Sharpies.
* There is one thing we are in a Golden Age of. It’s the Golden Age of Complaining.

U.S. NEWS

SOMEONE STOLE THE GO-KART TOILET OF MUKILTEO, WASHINGTON

Somebody stole – or attempted to steal – a toilet go-kart that was used in local parades and public events (* used … as a toilet?) in Mukilteo, Washington. Security video shows the potty, which was mounted on top of a go-kart frame, was parked outside the Stollwerck Plumbing & Sewer building at about 11 p.m. Saturday when man dressed in camouflage overalls snuck up and dragged it off. The owner, J.D. Stollwerck, kept the vehicle parked outside his business as a form of advertising. However, shattered porcelain was found across the street from the crime scene. Mr. Stollwerck suspects the thief probably lifted it up to put it in his vehicle and the toilet snapped and broke. The go-cart is still missing.
* Let’s just get it right out of the way: police have nothing to go on.
* Luckily, the Porta-Potty Choo Choo Train was untouched.
* The Case of the Lifted Loo.
* The Case of the Poached Potty.
* The Case of the Stolen Stool.
* The Case of the Shanghaied Shi—- never mind.

CHOCOLATE + VELVEETA

Velveeta has teamed with the Los Angeles-based Compartes chocolate company to create the TruffVel, a white chocolate shell, shaped like a pasta shell, filled with Velveeta cheese sauce. They call it… the TruffVel. See, it’s a truffle, and it’s filled with Velveeta. Truff…Vel. The box of five TruffVels are available now, while supplies last, for $24.95 at compartes.com.
* They say it’s like eating earwax.
* Sounds like another sign of the End Times.
* I can’t even count the number of times I’ve had a grilled cheese sandwich and thought, “Gee, this would be great with some chocolate syrup poured over it.” I can’t count the number of times because it’s zero. Nothing to count.
* Here’s why they give you five: The first one, you eat. The second one you eat because you just want to make sure the first one was as bad as you thought. The third one, you give to a friend and say, “Does this taste as bad as I think it does?” The fourth one, you get someone to eat it on a dare. The fifth one you keep to remind you that you wasted $25 bucks.
* If the best name you can come up with is TruffVel, take that as a sign that is was never meant to be. Go back to the lab and start again.
* Well, Velveeta and Compartes just got their names out there in everybody’s “wacky news” report, so Mission Accomplished.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

FRENCH WOMAN IN TROUBLE OVER FROGS

A Frenchwoman had a visit from the police after neighbors complained about the three noisy frogs she has in her garden pond. 92-year-old Colette Ferry said she opened her door in the small village of Frontenex to two gendarmes who said they would be taking away the frogs that had taken up residence in her garden pond. A neighbor complained that he was unable to sleep because of the loud croaking they were making at all hours. Madame Ferry told them that while the fish in the pond were hers, the frogs were not, but she did enjoy watching them play with her fish. She’s now looking forward to watching someone remove the frogs because, as she notes, “They jump.”
* Can’t they just croak ’em?
* Call in the Toad Truck.
* Somebody’s getting some free appetizers.
* Well, this story is ribbeting, but we have to move on.

TRENDING

SMASHING PUMPKINS PAY RANSOM OVER STOLEN SONGS

Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan has admitted he paid a ransom to stop the band’s new songs leaking online. A hacker stole songs from the band’s three-part rock opera Atum before it was released on May 5. With the promotion and sales of the band’s new album at risk, Corgan opted to pay the ransom. The FBI even got involved but Corgan says he still doesn’t know how the music leaked. “They were all probably the most catchy, single-y type songs. So not only is it six months too early, you’re pretty much giving away the album before you even have a chance to set your feet into the ground.” Corgan said the hacker was offering the files for money, and they were able to trace it and pay off and keep it from leaking.

HAILEY WITTERS, ZACH BRYAN NAMED ACM NEW ARTISTS OF THE YEAR

Hailey Whitters has been named the 2023 New Female Artist of the Year, and Zach Bryan was named New Male Artist of the Year ahead of the ACM Awards. The New Artist of the Year awards were announced ahead of the 2023 awards show, which is set for Thursday night (May 11.)

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

May 14, Sunday – Mother’s Day
May 29, Monday – Memorial Day
June 14, Wednesday – Flag Day
June 18, Sunday – Father’s Day
June 21, Wednesday – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 10:58 a.m. EDT)

BIRTHDAYS

Jeffrey Donovan (actor, “LBJ,” “Fargo,” “Burn Notice”) … 55
Tim Raybon (country singer w The Raybon Brothers) … 60
Martha Quinn (DJ, actress, original MTV VJ) … 64
Frances Fisher (actress, “Watchmen” mini-series, “Resurrection”) … 71

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I’m very shy in real life; I can’t really hit on girls.”

(A) Leonardo DiCaprio
(B) John Mayer
(C) Jeffrey Donovan

ANSWER: (C) Jeffrey Donovan

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2015 – India’s population officially reached 1 billion.
* Oh, take a cold shower!

2012 – Chinese scientists break a world record by transferring photons over 97 kilometers using quantum teleportation.
* If you say so.

1997 – An IBM computer named ‘Deep Blue’ beat world chess champ Gary Kasparov and won the six-game match between man and machine.
* Which made GARY blow a gasket.

1967 – The 100,000,000th U.S. phone was connected.
* The phone company will celebrate that anniversary today sometime between 8 and 4.

1949 – The first Polaroid camera was sold for $89.95.
* And it was an instant success.

1947 – Tiremaker B.F. Goodrich announced the development of the tubeless automobile tire.
* How much you wanna bet it cost more than a tire WITH a tube?

1916 – Einstein’s Theory of General Relativity was presented.
* I think it states “generally, relatives make bad house guests.”

1812 – The Waltz was introduced into English ballrooms. Most observers considered it disgusting and immoral.
* So of course it became a big hit.

1752 – The first fire insurance policy was sold, in Philadelphia.
* Which makes tomorrow the anniversary of the first case of arson.

1751 – The first U.S. hospital was founded in Pennsylvania.
* “Nurse! Get me some leeches! STAT!”

1607 – The first permanent English settlement was founded in America at Jamestown, Virginia.
* Well, it was permanent until … y’know … we threw ’em out.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2011 – Mick Jagger and Jerry Hall’s daughter Elizabeth appeared on the cover of Playboy magazine’s June issue. Her six-page, eight photo spread showed the 27-year-old completely nude, wearing a pair of thigh-high boots and bunny ears, and seductively smoking a cigarette.

2006 – George Michael was involved in his second minor car crash in a month after a tabloid photographer found him asleep in his parked car in central London. The singer crashed into a wooden pole after he woke up and was driving away.

2002 – Over 500 Michael Jackson fans held a demonstration outside the Sony records building in Berlin complaining that the label hadn’t promoted the singer’s latest album “Invincible.”

1996 – Bill Graham, the Irish journalist credited with discovering U2, died of a heart attack at age 44.

1981 – Bob Marley died of lung cancer and a brain tumor at age 36.

1970 – The triple soundtrack album “Woodstock” was released in the U.S., and went gold within two weeks.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. According to the Fine Dining Lovers website, only 3 out of 10 people do THIS in the morning. What is it?
Drink black coffee

2. Less than 10% of people say they’ve never had THIS type of alcoholic drink. What is it?
A margarita

3. According to research, women who drink THIS put on less weight and are less likely to become overweight down the road. What is it?
Wine

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