THURSDAY, Mar 30 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION
MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR THURSDAY, March 30, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: H&R HOCK TAX PAWN; PROMOS-TO-GO
TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)
NATIONAL DOCTORS’ DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“National Doctors’ Day was created to show appreciation to your doctors. Doctors perform vital diagnosis, treatment and care for yourself and your family. When you are well, your doctor keeps you well. When you are sick, there is no other person more important to you than your doctor. We suggest you tell your doctor(s) that you appreciate all that they do for you and your health. If you don’t see your doctor today, make a note to thank him or her at your next appointment. You can also send them an Ecard. Doctors’ Day observances date back to March 30, 1933. It was started by Eudora Brown Almond of Winder, Ga. The day marks the anniversary of the first use of general anesthesia in surgery. The first National Doctors’ Day was celebrated in 1991. On March 30, 1958, the United States House of Representatives adopted a resolution commemorating Doctors’ Day. In 1990, the congress and the senate approved legislation establishing National Doctors’ Day. The resolution designating March 30 as National Doctors’ Day was signed by President George Bush.”
TAKE A WALK IN THE PARK DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Don’t miss out on Take a Walk in the Park Day. It is an opportunity for exercise and relaxation. Are you stressed out? A walk in the park is just what the doctor ordered. Its calming and therapeutic. Taken after a busy work day, it helps clear your mind and re-energize you. Or, take the walk during lunch and you will find the afternoon of work goes by quicker and easier. A walk in the park will likely be the most enjoyable part of your day. However, make sure to do so with a clear mind and with your eyes open. In addition to avoiding a fall, open eyes will allow you to take in the beauty of nature’s wonders: flowers, and trees, birds, and wildlife. Tip: We suggest you take a walk in the park with a friend or your partner. It will prove far more enjoyable if you have company on your walk.”
TURKEY NECK SOUP DAY – Yumm!
March is:
Adopt a Rescued Guinea Pig Month
American Red Cross Month
Employee Spirit Month
Expanding Girls’ Horizons in Science and Engineering Month
Gender Equality Month
Irish-American Heritage Month
National Craft Month
National Women Inventors Month
National Women’s History Month
Read an E-Book Month
ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
Listings sourced from the TV Guide and EW websites.
THURSDAY, Mar 30
“Prom Pact”
Disney+ – New Movie
Synopsis: A feminist who doesn’t believe in the idea of falling in love, falls, and there’s undeniable chemistry.
“RapCaviar Presents”
Hulu – New Docuseries
Synopsis: Tackles some of today’s most provocative issues through the stories of hip-hop visionaries and emerging stars.
“Unstable”
Netflix – New Series
Synopsis: An introverted man must save his eccentric biotech entrepreneur father – and his company – from disaster. With Rob Lowe and his son John Owen Lowe.
FRIDAY, Mar 31
“The Power”
Amazon Prime Video – New Series
Synopsis: Teenage girls suddenly and mysteriously develop a special power that allows them to electrocute people at will.
“Rye Lane”
Hulu – New Movie
Synopsis – Two twentysomethings reeling from bad breakups have a chance encounter with each other, and use their new friendship to deal with their exes over the course of a day, and who knows, maybe they will fall for each other.
“Kill Boksoon”
Netflix – New Movie
Synopsis: At work, she’s a renowned assassin. At home, she’s a single mom to a teenage girl. Killing is easy. It’s parenting that’s the hard part.
“Murder Mystery 2”
Netflix – New Movie
Synopsis: After starting their own detective agency, Nick and Audrey Spitz land a career-making case when their billionaire pal is kidnapped from his wedding. With Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston.
Season Premieres:
Disney+ – “Doogie Kamealoha, M.D.”
The Roku Channel – “Die Hart 2: Die Harter”
SUNDAY, April 2
“Royal Crackers”
Adult Swim – New Animated Series
Synopsis: Royal Crackers was once the king of snacks, but the empire is crumbling. When Theodore Hornsby Sr. ends up in a coma, the rest of the Hornsbys will try to make Royal Crackers the success it once was.
“CMT Awards”
CBS – Awards Show
“Violent Minds: Killers on Tape”
Oxygen True Crime – New Docuseries
Synopsis: Features never-before-heard recorded interviews with infamous killers.
THE BUZZ
THREE DUMB HEADLINES
Time for another episode of Three Dumb Headlines. These are actual, word-for-word headlines of stories found on the internet. There’s no story, no context, just the actual headline. Discuss them amongst yourselves. Then, encourage listeners to vote for the Dumbest Headline on your station’s social media page. Maybe ask them to leave a comment. Reveal the results in the next break.
Today’s Dumb Headlines:
1. “What Do Orange Ladybugs Mean?”
2. “Birds Keep Hitting Windows — Now Scientists Are Learning Something From Their Last Poop”
3. “Conjoined Twin Returns Home After Surgery” (Yes, the singular “twin”.)
And here’s a spare, in case you don’t like one of those three: “Japanese Company Grows World’s Heaviest Radish”
HOW’S YOUR CANADIAN SLANG, EH?
If you’re going to a foreign country, it’s important to at least try to speak a little of the language. If you’re planning a trip to Canada, here are some Canadianisms you should know, to make you sound like a hoser. Or less like a hoser. Whatever.
– “Yeah, no” means no, and “yeah, no, for sure” means yes (* Yeah, no, for sure, yeah, no” means whatever you want)
– “Double-double” — a coffee with two creams and two sugars
– Timbits, which are doughnut holes at Tim Hortons restaurant chain
– “Roll up the rim” on the side of your cup to see if you’ve won a prize at Tim Hortons restaurant chain
– ‘Keener’ is a know-it-all
– ‘Bunny hug’ – a hooded sweatshirt
– ‘Dep’ – a corner store or bodega. It’s short for the French word “dépanneur”
– ‘Dart’ – a cigarette
– ‘Chesterfield’ is a large couch or sofa
– ‘Pre-drink’ – like American phrase ‘pregame’
– ‘2-4’ – a case of 24 beers
– “Caesar” cocktail – Clamato tomato juice, vodka, and spices
– ‘Hang a Larry’ means turn left, and ‘hang a Roger’ means turn right
– T-Dot – Toronto
– The Peg – Winnipeg
– Cowtown – Calgary
– “KD” – shorthand used to refer to Kraft Dinner macaroni and cheese
* Yeah, this is just about the amount of cleverness and imagination I would expect from Canada.
* It’s a nice country, if only they would stop sending shockwaves through the world with their crazy leaders and pushy international behavior.
* The only Canadian you really need to know is, “Where’s the cheap prescription drugs, eh?”
U.S. NEWS
UCONN COACH WEARS SAME LUCKY UNDERWEAR EVERY GAME
Dan Hurley, the 50-year-old University of Connecticut head coach, has led his team into the NCAA Final Four this month. His secret to winning: Hurley’s lucky game-day underwear: red boxers emblazoned with cartoon dragons. His wife, Andrea Hurley, helpfully describes them as “underoos for adults,” from the MeUndies brand. Hurley wears the same pair every game and, so far, UConn has made it into the semi-finals. He will wear them again Saturday night in Houston when the Huskies take on Miami. He’ll also be wearing the same navy suit, navy socks, checkered dress shirt and old shoes he’s worn every game. According to his assistants, if he wins a game, he’ll wear the same clothes for the next one. He reported;y does wash the clothes, and the undies, between games.
* Lucky for him, not so much for everyone around him.
* He’ll wear them til the team, or his underwear, hits the skids.
* My underwear’s lucky if I can go through the day without an accident.
* PHONE TOPIC: Do you have lucky underwear? Why?
ANGRY AIRLINE PASSENGER CLAIMS SOMEONE DRANK HIS EXPENSIVE WHISKY
An angry United Airlines passenger claims that a bottle of expensive whisky he’d packed in a checked bag was opened and suspiciously lost one-third of its contents in transit, if you can believe that. Christopher Ambler tweeted a picture of the bottle — Glenmorangie’s A Tale of Cake single malt, which runs over $100 a bottle — with the caption, “Hey @united – It was sealed new when packed and seal broken by opening. Your baggage handlers are thieves.” United Airlines replied to the post saying they were sorry to hear about the mysterious disappearance and asked for details so they could “escalate” the complaint.
* “Please send us a sample of the missing whisky so we know exactly what we’re looking for. Signed, United Airlines.”
* Ironically, when he saw how much of the whiskey was missing, he really needed a drink.
* So a third of a fifth was missing. How much is that? Solve for X. 1/5 minus 1/3 = 3/15 minus 5/15 = negative 2/15ths. Negative. So this man owes United Airlines 1 and 2/15ths of a bottle of whiskey.
* So if you’re rich like Mr. Ambler, let this be a lesson – fly private jets.
* This explains why they want you to arrive at the airport so early – there’s a LOT of luggage to hunt through.
* Maybe the amount of whisky in a bottle changes with the air pressure on a plane, like a bag of potato chips.
NEW YORK JUDGE HAD SIDE HUSTLE ON ONLYFANS SITE
Gregory A. Locke, a 33-year-old administrative law judge in New York City, was recently terminated from his position for “unprofessional behavior.” It turns out that Locke has been making some extra money posing nude on his OnlyFans page since 2020. According to his OnlyFans bio, Locke describes himself as “white collar professional by day… very unprofessional by night.” He notes that his content is “always amateur, always raw, always slutty.” There are calls for the ex-judge to be disbarred.
* All rise for Your Honor, indeed.
* Sometimes, after a long day on the bench, you just want to throw off the legal briefs and air out your jurisdiction.
* Did he ever pound his gavel on camera?
* Like Shakespeare said, the law is an ass. And what an ass!
* Makes you wonder what Judge Judy might be up to in her free time.
HARLEM GLOBETROTTERS BREAK GUINNESS PING PONG BALL RECORD
A pair of Harlem Globetrotters players visited Guinness World Records headquarters in London and broke a world record for the fastest time to bounce a Ping-Pong ball into 5 cups. Torch George and Scooter Christensen became the first Globetrotters to break a non-basketball record when they visited London and managed to bounce Ping-Pong balls into the five different cups in only 2.18 seconds, breaking the record of 2.87 seconds.
* They’re Harlem Globetrotters, I would have expected nothing less.
* The old record must have been set by the Washington Generals. Losers.
* It may not seem like much, but just wait ’til someone hits 2.0 seconds. That’s gonna change everything.
* What other games does Guinness have set up at their headquarters for their goof-off time?
* On their way out, they pulled the old water bucket gag on the Guinness officials.
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
AUDIO: POLISH MAN KEPT MOM’S CORPSE PROPPED UP ON HIS COUCH FOR 13 YEARS
A Polish man was discovered to have kept his mother’s mummified corpse on his sofa. Police in Radlin, Poland, were alerted by the man’s brother-in-law. They found the woman’s mummified remains inside the home of a man named only as Marian L. The woman, who had died 13 years earlier, was buried back on January 16, 2010. Officials believe the son dug up his mother’s body immediately after its burial and then mummified it with chemicals, and the body has remained in this house since 2010. It had been propped up on the man’s sofa, sitting on a pile of newspapers dating from 2009. Officials added that her remains were in “perfect condition.”
* Perfect condition for what? A ventriloquist act?
* Well, this man wins Halloween this year.
* He wanted to experience what it was like to not having mom constantly asking him to make her a cup of tea.
* On the other hand, she never laughs at his jokes.
* At least there was no arguing over the TV remote. I hope.
CLIP: The “Psycho” music.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)(com)/prep/wp-content/uploads/PsychoMusic-1(dot)mp3
TRENDING
BASEBALL FANS: ONE OUT OF THREE CAN’T AFFORD TICKETS
A new poll of more than 1,000 people, commissioned by the PlayMA website, finds one in three baseball fans (35%) say they can’t afford to buy any tickets to a ballgame in 2023.
– The most expensive average baseball ticket price this year are the Boston Red Sox at $61.71, and the New York Yankeees, at $61.59
– The cheapest are the Arizona Diamondbacks at $22.12 and the Miami Marlins at $23.27 average ticket price
– 2022 World Series champions Houston Astros have an average price of $58.61 per ticket
DOLLY PARTON, GARTH BROOKS TO HOST ACM AWARDS
Country music legends Dolly Parton and Garth Brooks are set to host the 58th annual Academy of Country Music Awards, May 11. The show will stream live and exclusively on Amazon Prime Video. The full rebroadcast of the ceremony and performances will stream next day for free on Amazon Freevee.
JEREMY RENNER’S FIRST POST-ACCIDENT INTERVIEW
If you want to learn how Jeremy Renner ran over himself with a snowplow, he’ll be telling ABC’s Diane Sawyer all about it in his first interview since the January accident. The hour-long special Jeremy Renner: The Diane Sawyer Interview – A Story of Terror, Survival and Triumph will air next Thursday, April 6 on ABC. Renner will describe being run over by his 7-ton snowcat snowplow machine in January while trying to protect his nephew. In a promo for the interview, Renner says, “I’ve lost a lot of flesh and bone in this experience, but I’ve been refueled and refilled with love and titanium.”
ALMANAC
NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES
April 1, Saturday – April Fools Day
April 9, Sunday – Easter
April 18, Tuesday – U.S. Tax Day
May 14, Sunday – Mother’s Day
May 29, Monday – Memorial Day
BIRTHDAYS
Thomas Rhett (country singer) … 32
Justin Moore (country singer) … 39
Fiona Gubelmann (actress, “The Good Doctor”) … 43
Norah Jones (pianist and vocalist) … 44
Celine Dion (singer, “My Heart Will Go On”) … 55
Ian Zierling (actor, “Sharknado” movies, “Beverly Hills 90210”) … 59
MC Hammer (Stanley Kirk Burrell, former rapper, televangelist) … 61
Paul Reiser (comedian/actor, “Stranger Things,” “Mad About You”) … 67
Eric Clapton (guitar legend) … 78
Warren Beatty (actor) … 86
John Astin (actor, TV’s Gomez Addams) … 93
BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!
“People have always told me I look young for my age … and I think it’s because I’ve always taken care of myself.”
(A) Keith Richards
(B) Dick Van Dyke
(C) Ian Ziering
ANSWER: (C) Ian Ziering
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
1999 – A jury in Portland, Oregon ordered Philip Morris to pay $81 million to the family of a man who died of lung cancer after smoking Marlboros for four decades.
* Sure, it’s a lot of money, but do you know how hard it is to get that cigarette smell out of the carpets?
1867 – The US bought Alaska from Russia in a $7.2 million deal, before oil was discovered there.
* HAH-hah!
1858 – Hyman Lipan patented the first pencil with a rubber eraser on the end.
* Other people thought of it earlier but didn’t want to admit they made so many mistakes they needed an eraser.
1842 – An anesthetic was used in an operation for the first time.
* Finally the patients in the waiting room could read the magazines without all that screaming.
1822 – Florida became a U.S. territory.
* And then later it became a Disney territory.
THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY
2017 – Ed Sheeran was at No.1 on the US album chart with his third studio album “÷” (pronounced ‘divide’). The album also topped the charts in 14 other countries and won the Grammy Award for Best Pop Vocal Album.
2013 – Music producer and pioneer of digital recording, Phil Ramone, died at age 79. Ramone was regarded as one of the most successful producers in history, winning 14 Grammy awards and working with stars such as Ray Charles, Bob Dylan, Elton John and Paul McCartney. He produced the first major commercial release on CD, Billy Joel’s 1982 album “52nd Street.” Ramone had been hospitalized for several weeks, being treated for an aortic aneurysm.
2001 – LeAnn Rimes reached an out of court settlement with her father and her former manager. The country star filed a lawsuit claiming the pair had stolen $12 million from her.
2000 – Rolling Stone Mick Jagger made a nostalgic visit to his old school. He opened the new arts center that had been named after him at Dartford Grammar. The singer said he had spent the worst years of his life at the school.
1992 – Navy veteran Vincent Williams, who was in the forces with MC Hammer, took the rapper to court, claiming that a loan of $5,000 years earlier entitled him to a percentage of Hammer’s earnings.
1991 – Gloria Estefan started a two-week run at No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Coming Out Of The Dark.”
1985 – Phil Collins started a two-week run at No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “One More Night,” his second U.S. No.1.
1976 – Punk pioneers The Sex Pistols played their first gig at the 100 Club in London, before an audience of 50 people.
1974 – John Denver went to No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Sunshine On My Shoulders,” the singer’s first of four U.S. No.1’s.
1967 – The cover picture of The Beatles’ “Sgt. Pepper” album was photographed.
X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE
Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!
1. Husbands borrow THIS from their wives more than anything else. What is it?
Tweezers
2. About 40% of American husbands do THIS. What is it?
Make less money than their wives
3. 1 in 5 husbands surveyed said they would rather have their wives do THIS at night than them. What is it?
Investigate a strange noise
(c) 2023
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