THURSDAY, Mar 23 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR THURSDAY, March 23, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: ROSETTA STONER LANGUAGE LESSONS; BROUGHT TO YOU BY

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

NATIONAL CHIP AND DIP DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“National Chip and Dip Day celebrates America’s favorite snack duet. If you’re holding a party, it is almost certain that chips and dips are on the snack list. For today’s celebration, the ‘chip’ is more generic. It could be corn chips, or tortilla chips. And, the dip is any kind that goes well with the chip of choice. Today is best celebrated in the evening with a bag of chips and your favorite dip.”

NATIONAL MELBA TOAST DAY

NEAR MISS DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Near Miss Day commemorates the day a huge asteroid nearly hit the earth. On March 23, 1989, an asteroid the size of a mountain came within 500,000 miles of a collision with Earth. In interstellar terms, it was a near miss. Had it collided with the Earth, it would have left a devastating crater the size of Washington, D.C. Its affect on the planet would have been catastrophic. Since then, there have been other near misses. Whew!! Near misses with large, potentially life threatening objects happen on an infrequent basis. It is believed a large asteroid collided with the earth and caused the extinction of dinosaurs. Scientists believe it is only a matter of time before another catastrophic collision with Earth. But, don’t worry. The odds are it will not happen for a long, long time.”

OK DAY (No, it’s not short for “okay” … the two initials came first!)
The History website says this:
“On this day in 1839, the initials ‘O.K.’ were first published – in The Boston Morning Post. Meant as an abbreviation for ‘oll correct,’ a popular slang misspelling of “all correct” at the time, OK steadily made its way into the everyday speech of Americans. ‘OK’ has become one of the most ubiquitous terms in the world, and certainly one of America’s greatest lingual exports.”

March is:

Adopt a Rescued Guinea Pig Month
American Red Cross Month
Employee Spirit Month
Expanding Girls’ Horizons in Science and Engineering Month
Gender Equality Month
Irish-American Heritage Month
National Craft Month
National Women Inventors Month
National Women’s History Month
Read an E-Book Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
Listings sourced from the TV Guide and EW websites

THURSDAY, Mar 23

“The Night Agent”
Netflix – New Series
Synopsis: While monitoring an emergency line, an FBI agent answers a call that plunges him into a deadly conspiracy involving a mole at the White House.

Season Premier:
Peacock – “The Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip”

FRIDAY, Mar 24

“Reggie”
Amazon Prime Video – New Documentary
Synopsis: Examines the career and legacy of Major League Baseball Hall of Famer and activist Reggie Jackson.

“Top Gun: Maverick”
Amazon Prime Video – The theatrical release comes to streaming.

“My Kind of Country”
Apple TV+ – New Talent Competition Show
Synopsis: Reese Witherspoon and Kacey Musgraves join Jimmie Allen, Mickey Guyton, and Orville Peck on a global search for country music’s next big star.

“Up Here”
Hulu – New Series
Synopsis: In this musical comedy set in New York City in 1999, Lindsay and Miguel fall in love and discover that the single greatest obstacle to finding happiness together might just be themselves – and the memories, obsessions, fears, and fantasies that live inside their heads.

“Knock at the Cabin”
Peacock – The theatrical release comes to streaming.

Season Premiere:
Netflix – “Love is Blind”

SUNDAY, Mar 26

“Great Expectations”
Hulu – New Series
Synopsis: Six-part limited series adaptation of the Charles Dickens novel.

“Rabbit Hole”
Paramount+ – New Series
Synopsis: Nothing is what it seems when John Weir, a master of deception in the world of corporate espionage, is framed for murder by powerful forces with the ability to influence and control populations. With Kiefer Sutherland.

“Ride”
Hallmark Channel – New Series
Synopsis: Follows the lives of the McMurrays, part of a rodeo dynasty going back a generation, as they struggle to keep their beloved ranch afloat.

“Seeking Brother Husband”
TLC – New Reality Show
Synopsis: Follows four polyandrous couples and their quests to add additional husbands.

Season Premieres:
HBO – “Succession”
Showtime – “Yellowjackets”

THE BUZZ

THREE DUMB HEADLINES

Time for another episode of Three Dumb Headlines. These are actual, word-for-word headlines of stories found on the internet. There’s no story, no context, just the actual headline. Discuss them amongst yourselves. Then, encourage listeners to vote for the Dumbest Headline on your station’s social media page. Maybe ask them to leave a comment. Reveal the results in the next break.
Today’s Dumb Headlines:
1. “Man Uses Ping Pong Balls, Shaving Cream For Unusual World Record”
2. “This Caramelized Pickle Dip Slaps”
3. “Wearable Waste: Sweaters Made From Oyster Shells”
And here’s a spare, in case you don’t like one of those three: “Two-Time Lottery Winner Credits Hairstyle For Repeat Luck”

MORE FUNNY THINGS THAT KIDS CALL THINGS

Collected by the Huffington Post:
– “My 4yo told me they had butt cakes after lunch today and I was like “what?!” And he was like yea it was buttcakes… big ol cupcakes with icing. Oh bundt cakes.”
– “Instead of “emotional” support, my son said “mimosa-tional” support and I want that a lot more.”
– “6yo told me he learned about a painter called Vingo Vango in school, and it took me a beat longer than I care to admit to figure that out.”
– “My 5 year old just referred to the drink menu as a “beer magazine” and that’s what I’m calling it from now on.”
– “My daughter doesn’t know the word “cough drop” so she is requesting medicine beans.”
– “When my daughter was four she tried to say she had the “heebie jeebies” but it came out “Hebrew Bee Gees.”
– “My 8 yo son just asked me what it meant when women were on their ‘pyramids.'”
– “My daughter called the 1st President ‘George Washingmachine.’”
– “My 12-year-old called her ankles ‘foot wrists'”
– “My kid is yelling “JESUS RICE!” as I usher him out the door and I am just trying really hard not to laugh.”
– “My son referred to a little boy today as ‘a double kid.’ A twin. The boy had a twin brother.”
– “Today my 7 year old grandson called our bathroom scales a ‘weight thermometer.'”
– “The first time we saw seals my daughter called them ‘pig…fish.’”
– “My 8yo keeps referring to the Statue of Puberty instead of the Statue of Liberty.”
* Parents: your child needs help.
* Or maybe they just have a lot of earwax.
* You know what they call kids who call things by the wrong name? Grampa.
* Adults have funny names for certain things, too, but let’s not go there.

THE MOST COMMON BIRTHDAY

According to birth data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the Social Security Administration, here are some birthday stats:
– The most common birthday is Sept. 9. In second and third place are Sept. 19 and 12. If you do the math, you can figure that it has something to do with the fact that many people have free time on vacation days they take around Christmas and New Year’s.
– In fact, the entire Top 10 Most Common Birthdays are between Sept. 9 and 20.
– But, August is actually the most common birth month. In order of most common to least common: August, July, September, October, May, December, March, June, January, November, April, February.
– The rarest birthday, not counting leap day February 29, is Christmas day, Dec. 25, followed by Jan. 1 and Dec. 24.
* I’ve always been amazed how so many famous people were born on holidays. Abe Lincoln on Lincoln’s birthday, George Washington on Washington’s birthday, Martin Luther King on MLK Day, St. Patrick on St Patrick’s Day…
* It’s not very nice that the topic of people being born is handled by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
* The takeaway from this is, you’d better order your birthday cake early.
* And maybe put some condoms in the Christmas stockings.

STUDY: BABY FETUSES HATE KALE, LOVE CARROTS

According to a new study of around 100 pregnant women and their fetuses in England, fetuses in the womb scowled after their mothers ate kale but smiled after they ate carrots. The researchers gave pregnant women capsules containing powdered versions of the two foods. Thirty-five women consumed the equivalent of one medium carrot, and 34 women consumed the equivalent of 100 grams of chopped kale. Another 30 women didn’t consume either. Twenty minutes later, ultrasound scans showed that most of the fetuses exposed to the kale flavor seemed to grimace, while most exposed to the carrot appeared to be laughing. The control group, meanwhile, didn’t have the same responses.
* Great, now do Krispy Kremes.
* Now you’ve got 69 babies going, “Aw, crap, mom’s a vegan.”
* Considering British food, their fetuses must do a lot of scowling.
* What’s the science here? The baby is connected to the mother’s blood supply so your blood tastes like what you eat? How does that work with vampires?
* I’m sure the babies are thinking, “Where’s this milk I’ve heard so much about?”

U.S. NEWS

INMATES ESCAPE USING TOOTHBRUSH, EAT AT IHOP

Two inmates tunneled a hole into a cell wall to escape from the Newport News city jail building Monday evening. Officials say Arley Nemo and John Garza used a toothbrush and a metal object to make a hole. Once outside, they scaled a security wall and escaped. A tip from the public led police to an IHOP restaurant where the two were reportedly eating at around 3 a.m. Tuesday morning. The two were taken into custody without incident.
* Rooty-Tooty Fresh ‘n Busted.
* IHOP stands for “I’m Hungry, Outta Prison.”
* It caused quite a flap, Jack.
* I’m thinking maybe the jail architect ought to be notified about the toothbrush thing.
* Two good ad campaigns here: “DentaPro Toothbrush: Strong enough for a jailbreak, strong enough for your teeth.” And: “Prison walls can’t keep people from IHOP!”

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

MAYOR OF FLORENCE, ITALY, STOPS CLIMATE CHANGE VANDALS

The mayor of Florence, Italy, Mayor Dario Nardella, stopped two climate change activists from trying to spray graffiti one of the city’s most famous landmarks. Mayor Nardella was in the middle of an interview on the historic city streets when he noticed the two men spraying orange paint from a fire extinguisher onto the side of the Palazzo Vecchio, Florence’s town hall building. The mayor turned away from the camera and sprinted over to the scene to protect the famous building, which was built more than 700 years ago. The interior of the building contains works of art from Michelangelo and Donatello. Mayor Nardella was seen shoving the two vandals, forcing them away from their paint and off to the curb, where they were arrested by Florence police. Nardella furiously screamed, “What the [bleep] are you doing?” in Italian to one of the men as he was being handcuffed by police. Then, as he was being detained, the vandal attempted to preach about his political agenda, but the angry mayor wasn’t buying it and scolded him mid-speech. The 47-year-old mayor also assisted crews with the clean-up of the historical building.
* Well, somebody just won re-election.
* Witnesses said it was more exciting than that new Shazam movie.
* A story about graffiti from the country that came up with the word. Cool!
* The climate’s about to change to pretty dark and dank for those two idiots.
* Just wondering how they put out fires with fire extinguishers that are full of orange paint.

WHALE SINKS BOAT

A giant whale – (* as opposed to the smaller, petite whales) – crashed into a sailboat in the Pacific Ocean, sinking it and causing the passengers to escape in a life raft. Rick Rodriguez, 31, of Tavernier, Florida, and three friends set off from the Galápagos Islands on his 44-foot sailboat Raindancer for a three-week journey to French Polynesia. But on March 13, less than two weeks into the trip, right in the middle of lunch, they heard a loud noise. The back half of the boat lifted violently upward, then slapped down and began to sink. Rodriguez made a mayday and set off the Emergency Position Indicating Radio Beacon.The group quickly gathered essential supplies, including enough water for a week and food for three weeks – then scrambled into a life raft and dinghy before the boat sank in about 15 minutes. Fortunately, rescue came after about 10 hours. A 45-foot catamaran, called – no kidding – The Rolling Stones, was only about 35 miles away and responded to the mayday call and rescued the four friends. Rodriguez said that “there was never really much fear that we were in danger. Everything was in control as much as it could be for a boat sinking.” One of the four witnessed the whale, and believes it was a Bryde’s whale that was about as long as the vessel.
* Bryde’s whales are known douchebags.
* I mean, seriously – in the middle of lunch?
* For a moment, they thought they had run into Brendan Fraser.
* “Thanks for saving us! Uh, how much would you want to take us the last little bit to Polynesia?”
* And the moral is, don’t go sailing during whale mating season.

TRENDING

GWYNETH PALTROW’S LAWYER COMPLAINS ABOUT COURTROOM CAMERA FIXED ON HIS CLIENT

The lawsuit against Gwyneth Paltrow continued Wednesday, as skier Terry Sanderson sues for $300,000 claiming Paltrow ran into him on a ski slope. Beside the usual courtroom happenings, Paltrow’s lawyer complained about a new camera pointing ‘directly’ at the actress, claiming it violated courtroom ‘decorum.’ Attorney Steve Owens raised the issue with the judge, noting that a camera that had been placed in front of his client, also noting that Paltrow had been hounded by photographers and reporters outside the courtroom. The judge reassured Owens he would look into the issue during a court recess and that he ‘recognized it as a problem.’

DICK VAN DYKE CRASHES CAR

Legendary TV star Dick Van Dyke was injured when he crashed his Lexus in Malibu after losing control behind the wheel. The 97-year-old actor’s car skidded in wet weather conditions before smashing into a gate on Wednesday morning. He reportedly had a bloody nose and mouth, as well as a possible concussion. He was treated at the scene by paramedics, but was not taken to a hospital and was instead picked up by a friend who took him home. Police have reportedly submitted documents to the DMV requesting that Van Dyke retake his driving test.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

April 1, Saturday – April Fools Day
April 9, Sunday – Easter
April 18, Tuesday – U.S. Tax Day
May 14, Sunday – Mother’s Day
May 29, Monday – Memorial Day

BIRTHDAYS

Brett Eldredge (country singer) … 37
Steven Strait (actor, “The Expanse”) … 37
Brett Young (country singer) … 42
Perez Hilton (gossip blogger, TV personality, real name Mario Armando Lavandeira, Jr.) … 45
Keri Russell (actress, “The Americans”) … 47
Marin Hinkle (actress, “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel,” “Madam Secretary,” “Two And A Half Men”) … 57
Amanda Plummer (actress) … 66

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I like being on my own. I do. I tend to be a loner, so I’m okay. I’m not okay when I have to be around everyone all the time.”

(A) Ryan Seacrest
(B) Steve Harvey
(C) Keri Russell

ANSWER: (C) Keri Russell

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2010 – President Barack Obama signed into law the Affordable Care Act, the most sweeping piece of federal legislation since Medicare was passed in 1965.
* And a lot of people wanted to sweep it … into the trash.

2001 – Russia’s orbiting Mir space station ended its 15-year odyssey with a fiery plunge into the South Pacific.
* And Russia kept insisting: “We WANTED it to do that!”

1929 – The first telephone was installed in the White House.
* The president thought it was too undignified going down to the 7-11 on the corner to use the pay phone.

1903 – The Wright brothers received a patent for their airplane.
* At which point things really took off.

1794 – The first U.S. patent ever was issued to Joseph G. Pierson for a riveting machine.
* Wait – didn’t somebody patent rivets first?

1775 – American revolutionary Patrick Henry proclaimed “Give me liberty or give me death.”
* Wow! That would have made a great bumper sticker!

1743 – The standing ovation was introduced by England’s George II. He rose to his feet during a performance of Handel’s “Messiah” and was followed by the rest of the audience.
* Actually he only stood because a really large man was trying to squeeze past him into his seat.

1699 – John Batram was born, “The father of American botany.”
* Wouldn’t he be proud to know that botany is now so popular, many Americans are growing tall green plants under artificial lights in their basements?

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2011 – The Who’s Pete Townshend told Uncut magazine that he regretted ever forming the band. “What would I have done differently? I would never have joined a band. Even though I am quite a good gang member and a good trooper on the road, I am bad at creative collaboration.”

1999 – Pope John Paul II’s “Abba Pater” was released. It featured 11 tracks of chanting and praying with musical accompaniment.

1997 – U2 were at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “Pop,” the band’s fifth U.S. No.1 album.

1996 – Celine Dion went to No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Because You Loved Me,” her second U.S. No.1. The song was taken from the film “Up Close And Personal” starring Robert Redford and Michelle Pfeiffer.

1992 – Janet Jackson signed with Virgin Records for $16,000,000.

1985 – Former Creedence Clearwater Revival front man John Fogerty went to No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “Centerfield.”

1974 – Cher went to No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “Dark Lady,” the singer’s third solo No.1.

1973 – John Lennon was ordered to leave the U.S. within 60 days by immigration authorities who decided not to renew his visa because of a drug conviction. He began a long fight to win his ‘Green Card’ which he was given on July 27th, 1976.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. One out of eight adults in a recent survey said they can’t do THIS – but kids find it easy. What is it?
Ride a bicycle

2. According to a recent survey, over 60% of people said they do THIS in their car every single day. What is it?
Eat food – mainly breakfast

3. A recent survey asked people about basic home tasks, and close to one-third of respondents said they can’t do THIS in the kitchen. What is it?
Cook one full meal without using a recipe

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