THURSDAY, Mar 16 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR THURSDAY, March 16, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: FIFTY SHADES OF GREEN; PROMOS-TO-GO

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

EVERYTHING YOU DO IS RIGHT DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Everything You Do is Right Day just might be a perfect day. Life is filled with ups and downs. Some days are good days. Some days are bad days. Most often, there’s both good and bad in any given day. You take life’s ups and downs with a grain of salt. Every once in a while, a day comes along where everything you do goes well … the perfect day! Today is going to be your day … a good, er, make that great day! We hope everything you do goes right today and every day.”

FREEDOM OF INFORMATION DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Freedom of Information Day celebrates and recognizes a valuable concept in American rights. March 16th is the birth date of James Madison, the 4th president of the United States of America. James Madison is recognized as the ‘Father of the Constitution,’ and the chief author of the ‘Bill of Rights.’ Freedom of information and individual rights was very important to James Madison. Did you Know? The Freedom of Information Act was passed into law in 1966. It opened up a wealth of information to American citizens. James Madison would be very pleased!”

GODDARD DAY
The NASA website says this:
“On March 16, 1926, Robert Goddard successfully launched the (world’s) first liquid-fueled rocket in Auburn, Mass. The first-of-its-kind rocket flight reached an altitude of 41 feet, lasted 2 seconds and averaged about 60 miles per hour.”

LIPS APPRECIATION DAY

NATIONAL ARTICHOKE HEARTS DAY

NATIONAL PANDA DAY

March is:

Adopt a Rescued Guinea Pig Month
American Red Cross Month
Employee Spirit Month
Expanding Girls’ Horizons in Science and Engineering Month
Gender Equality Month
Irish-American Heritage Month
National Craft Month
National Women Inventors Month
National Women’s History Month
Read an E-Book Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
Listings sourced from the TV Guide and EW websites.

“Queens Court”
Peacock – New Reality Dating Show
Synopsis: Too many dating shows? Too many shows with celebrities? How about a dating show with celebrities? This time, three famous, single women – Tamar Braxton, Evelyn Lozada, and Nivea – try to hook up.

Season Premiere:
Netflix – “Shadow and Bone”

FRIDAY, Mar 17

“Swarm”
Amazon Prime Video – New Series
Synopsis: An obsessed, Houston-based fan goes to increasingly violent lengths for her favorite R&B singer.

“Extrapolations”
Apple TV+ – New Series
Synopsis: In the near future, the effects of climate change have become embedded into people’s everyday lives; eight interwoven stories explore the choices that must be made when the planet is changing faster than the population.

“Monster Factory”
Apple TV+ – New Docuseries
Synopsis: The story of misfit dreamers at a wrestling school on the outskirts of a gritty New Jersey factory town who, with the help of their tough yet loving coach, fight for their big break as professional wrestlers.

“Bono & the Edge: A Sort of Homecoming with David Letterman”
Disney+ – New Special
Synopsis: Part concert movie, part travel adventure, plus a whole lot of Bono and The Edge, with Dave’s humor throughout.

“Agent Elvis”
Netflix – New Animated Series
Synopsis: Elvis Presley, voiced by Matthew McConaughey, becomes a secret agent. Plus, he has a chimpanzee sidekick.

“Dance 100”
Netflix – Yet Another Dancing Competition Series
Synopsis: To win $100,000, eight choreographers must create increasingly complex routines for an ever-growing number of elite dancers, who are also the judges.

Season Premiere:
Starz – “Power Book II: Ghost”

SUNDAY, Mar 19

“Lucky Hank”
AMC – New Limited Series
Synopsis: Follows the exploits of an unlikely chairman (Bob Odenkirk) in a badly underfunded college in the Pennsylvania rust belt. Just as Hank’s life begins to unravel, his wife also begins to question the path she’s on and the choices she’s made.

“Marie Antoinette”
PBS – New Series
Synopsis: The successes of independent and feminist Marie Antoinette provoke jealousy and rivalry.

Season Premieres:
PBS – “Call the Midwife,” “Sanditon”

DISNEY PAID ITSELF $10 MILLION TO AIR COMMERCIAL FOR “LITTLE MERMAID” DURING OSCARS

If you watched all of Sunday’s Academy Awards ceremony, you might remember when Melissa McCarthy and Halle Bailey (note: NOT Halle Berry! Different actress) came out for what looked like the presentation of another award, but instead started talking about their upcoming Disney movie, a live-action remake of “The Little Mermaid.” Then, they threw it to an actual trailer for the movie. Those three-plus minutes cost Disney over $10 million. Even though ABC is owned by Disney, the company actually paid the ABC network $10 million to show the “Little Mermaid” ad spot during the Oscars.
* So, out of the left pants pocket, and into the right pants pocket. Shocking.
* Robbing Mickey to pay Minnie, as they say.
* A little mermaid, a lot of accounting sleight-of-hand.
* No big deal. Disney will just boost the ticket price about 30 cents and make it all back.
* In that trailer, every scene was a shot-for-shot, angle-for-angle remake of the animated movie. It’s just another fan re-creation video with better special effects.

DIRECTOR JON FAVREAU HAS A FANTASTIC IDEA FOR A MANDALORIAN RIDE AT DISNEY

Jon Favreau, creator, writer and director of Disney’s “The Mandalorian,” has an idea for a Mandalorian attraction. Speaking with IMDb.com, Favreau was asked how he would create a Mandalorian ride in the Disney parks. It’s truly astounding. Ready? Here’s his idea, in his own words. He says:
“Probably in the Razer Crest. I’d probably do something that’s very immersive. I’d probably do something with haptics worked in. I’d probably use assets that we use in The Volume. Even when you’re just sitting there it feels like a ride. It’d almost be like half behind the scenes and half a ride.”
* That sounds amazing, Jon! Now tell us in English.
* Translation: Jon Favreau gave a nonsensical answer ’cause he’s tired of IMDB bugging him for interviews.
* Finally, a Disney ride even rich people won’t be able to afford to go on.
* In the end, like every Disney ride, it comes down to sitting in a little car or a boat on a conveyor belt.

THE BUZZ

THREE DUMB HEADLINES

Time for another episode of Three Dumb Headlines. These are actual, word-for-word headlines of stories found on the internet. There’s no story, no context, just the actual headline. Discuss them amongst yourselves. Then, encourage listeners to vote for the Dumbest Headline on your station’s social media page. Maybe ask them to leave a comment. Reveal the results in the next break.
Today’s Dumb Headlines:
1. “Man With Longest Tongue Breaks Jenga World Record”
2. “How Much Saliva Will You Produce In Your Life?”
3. “How I Cooked 10 More Pounds of Potatoes, Part 4”
And here’s a spare, in case you don’t like one of those three: “Navy Pilot Made Crucial Error Before Crashing Into Sea”

WEIRD WORKPLACE RULES

Some companies have strange rules for their employees. Some are over-the-top. From Ask Reddit, Here are some of the weirdest workplace rules:
– “I worked at a law firm as a legal assistant. I only lasted two days. Why? Because they charged you $25 each time you didn’t answer your phone…and they only paid you $7.25 an hour.”
– “I was interviewing for a position. One office rule was that you couldn’t have Post-It notes of any kind. I laughed, thinking it was a joke, but the look I received from the interviewer was anything but comical. I walked out of the interview after telling her she was a little too controlling.”
– “I worked for a place that specifically stated in the employee handbook that women could not wear scrunchies in their hair, only clips.”
– “I had a manager once when I worked retail who didn’t want us to use the word ‘help’. We couldn’t ask customers if they needed help; we had to come up with some other way to say it. One day, my coworker blurted out to a customer, ‘How can I service you today?'”
– “The owner of where I worked hated musicals for some reason and forbade any conversation relating to musical theater.”
– “At the weekly staff meeting we’d go around the table and each talk for five minutes about what we were working on. Boss had an hourglass with sand in it. If you went long, he would interrupt, say NEXT, and flip it over for the next person. If you didn’t say anything, or finished early, then everyone had to sit there and stare at you until the time was up.”
– One of the stupidest, most pointless rules I had to follow was at a coffee shop. We had to make small talk with every single person in line…always. The line is 30 deep on a Monday morning at 7 a.m.? They still expected you to do this. It slowed us up so much. Customers hated it, too. They just wanted their coffee.”
– “At an insurance company, we had to account, on a spreadsheet, for every minute of every day. Each task had to be logged with how long it took to accomplish. If one day we did 10 items in 15 minutes and the next day we only did five, they’d question us on the discrepancy.”
– “I was told to change my first name at work because the boss had the same first name — so it was already ‘taken.'”
– “I worked at a small family business, and it was kept clean by the family. We weren’t allowed to throw away trash from our lunches. The owner made us take it home.”
* PHONE TOPIC: What is the stupidest rule at your company?

LABRADOR RETRIEVER NO LONGER MOST POPULAR DOG

For the first time in 31 years, the Labrador Retriever has been unseated as the most popular dog breed in the US. According to the American Kennel Club’s 2022 registration statistics, the new top dog is the French Bulldog. Want one? You should know that French Bulldogs are prone to certain health problems, including those that affect their ability to breathe, due to their narrow nostrils and smaller airways. This has led some veterinarians to warn against buying such dogs, which have been bred to exhibit such characteristics.
Here’s are the top 10 most popular in the US.
1. French Bulldogs
2. Labrador Retrievers
3. Golden Retrievers
4. German Shepherds
5. Poodles
6. Bulldogs
7. Rottweilers
8. Beagles
9. Dachshunds
10. German Shorthaired Pointers
* French Bulldogs everywhere tried to laugh at the Labrador Retrievers, but it just came out as a wheezing grunt.
* The Germans are establishing a beachhead in America’s Top Ten dog list.
* So French Bulldogs are small, so they don’t eat so much, and apparently they don’t use a lot of oxygen.
* This is America. How did “hot dog” not make the list?
* My dog’s on this top ten list: Poodle, beagle, dachshund, and maybe a little shepherd.
* The entire list can be found at “Who’s A Good Boy Dot Com.”

U.S. NEWS

HELICOPTER THIEF FAILS

A thief broke into a helicopter Wednesday morning at the Sacramento, California, Executive Airport and crashed it while attempting to fly away. The trespasser tried four different choppers on the tarmac between 4 and 6 a.m. before getting one to start. After crashing when attempting to take off, the suspect fled the scene. Left behind was a Bell 407 heavy-lift helicopter, laying on its side on the tarmac with a cracked tail boom and smashed rotors. It appeared to be totaled. Police said they are not aware of any injuries, and no arrests have been made.
* Most dangerous TikTok challenge ever.
* A helicopter parent wanting a new helicopter?
* What’s Harrison Ford’s alibi?
* What doesn’t go up can’t come down, but it can go over.

WINNER OF IDITAROD IS GRANDSON OF GUY WHO CREATED THE RACE

The winner of this year’s Iditarod dogsled race – 1,000 miles from Anchorage to Nome, Alaska – was Ryan Redington, the 40-year-old grandson of Joe Redington Sr., who helped co-found the race first held in 1973. And Ryan’s father, Raymie, was also a racer. Redington, who is Inupiat, became the sixth Alaska Native musher to win the world’s most famous sled dog race. This was his 16th try. Redington will earn about $50,000 for winning.
* Just enough to fight off the PETA lawsuits over dog abuse.
* Fifty grand buys a lot of mush.
* So, the Iditarod – no nepotism rules?
* 16 tries! Is there a punchcard? 12 tries and your next one is no entrance fee?
* He can make a lot more money off product endorsements. Mukluks and frostbite cures, mostly.
* (old, old joke you may want to attempt) “I have a cousin who lives up there in Alaska.” “Nome?” “Of course I know ‘im, he’s my cousin.”

CRASH TEST DUMMY DISCRIMINATION

Somebody is now concerned that America is lacking in representation in their crash test dummies. The most popular crash test dummy used in America is the Hybrid III, built to represent a 50th percentile adult male who is 5-feet 9-inches tall and weighs 171 lbs. The problem is, that model doesn’t take into account the many physical differences between men and women. A female test dummy was introduced in America back in 2000, built to represent a fifth percentile adult female at 4-feet 11-inches tall and 108 lbs. But, rather than being a specially-designed female dummy, this one was simply a scaled version of the male dummy, so it did “not reflect some of the physiological differences” between men and women. Now, the U.S. Government Accountability Office says that the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration has not done enough to advance the dummies used in crash tests here in America. The NTSA has been asked to work on a “comprehensive plan to improve crash test dummy data.”
* Meanwhile, until they come up with new models, the NTSA is looking for volunteers.
* Just ’cause you’re an inanimate object is no excuse for not being woke.
* Male dummy: 171 lbs., female dummy: 108 lbs. Yeah, that’s about what the average Americans weigh. On the moon, maybe.
* They need to design dummies for today’s drivers. Like, a male driver with a cup of coffee in one hand and a bagel in the other. Or a female dummy locked into a lean-forward position that’s always changing the radio station, because that’s what it’s like in my family.

ALMANACNOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

TOMORROW – St. Patrick’s Day
March 20, Sunday – Spring begins, Spring Equinox is 5:24 p.m. EDT
March 21, Monday – First full day of Spring
April 1, Saturday – April Fools Day
April 9, Sunday – Easter
April 18, Tuesday – U.S. Tax Day
May 14, Sunday – Mother’s Day
May 29, Monday – Memorial Day

BIRTHDAYS

Tim Kang (actor, “Magnum P.I.,” “The Mentalist”) … 50
Alan Tudyk (actor, “Resident Alien,” “Doom Patrol,” “Suburgatory,” “Firefly”) … 52
Lauren Graham (actress, “Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist,” “Parenthood,” “Gilmore Girls”) … 56
Flavor Flav (William Jonathan Drayton Jr., reality TV star, rapper formerly of Public Enemy) … 64
Nancy Wilson (singer-guitarist of Heart) … 69
Ray Benson (singer-guitarist w Asleep at the Wheel) … 72
Erik Estrada (actor, “Ponch” on “CHiPS”) … 74

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“Being taken seriously was always the biggest challenge.”

(A) Kermit the Frog
(B) Dennis Rodman
(C) Nancy Wilson

ANSWER: (C) Nancy Wilson

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

1994 – Tonya Harding plead guilty to felony attack on Nancy Kerrigan.
* Prosecutors felt a conviction was a lead-pipe cinch.

1950 – The National Book Awards were given for the first time.
* For you youngsters, “books” were these bunches of pages of paper that told stories without pictures, soundtracks, or explosions. Weird, huh?

1926 – Robert Goddard launched the first liquid fuel rocket.
* A nearby Army official asked, “Could we put a bomb on that thing?”

1888 – The first used car was sold.
* Probably the first and only time a used-car dealer told the truth when he said “just one previous owner.”

1830 – The New York Stock Exchange had its slowest day ever with just 31 shares traded.
* Of course in 1830 there were probably only 100 shares in the entire market.

1621 – A Native American chief visited the colony of Plymouth Mass. He brought pelts, venison, and corn.
* Boy, did WE ever turn out to be the guests who stayed too long!

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2012 – A series of “medical mishaps” forced Morrissey to cancel the rest of his forthcoming concerts in the US. The ex-Smiths frontman had suffered a number of illnesses including a bleeding ulcer, Barrett’s oesophagus and double pneumonia. The 53-year-old had already called off 21 gigs this year due to poor health.

2005 – Billy Joel checked into a rehabilitation center for alcohol abuse. A statement blamed his problems on “a recent bout of severe gastrointestinal distress.”

1996 – The Ramones performed what they claimed would be their last ever date in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

1992 – During a Metallica gig at Orlando Arena fans dangled an usher by his ankles from the balcony as trouble broke out at the concert. The band was charged $38,000 for repairs and cleaning after the audience trashed the building.

1991 – All seven members of Country star Reba Mcentire’s band were killed when their plane crashed near San Diego. McEntire was on a separate plane.

1989 – MTV launched a contest to give away Jon Bon Jovi’s childhood home.

1977 – After being with A&M Records for just six days, The Sex Pistols were fired from the label due to pressure from other label artists and its Los Angeles head office. 25,000 copies of “God Save The Queen” were pressed and the band made $127,500 from the deal.

1974 – Barbra Streisand started a two-week run at No.1 on the U.S. album chart with “The Way We Were,” her second No.1.

1972 – John Lennon lodged an appeal with the U.S. immigration office in New York, after he was served with deportation orders arising from his 1968 cannabis possession conviction.

1968 – The posthumously released Otis Redding single “Sittin’ On The Dock Of The Bay” started a five-week run at No.1 on the U.S. chart. Otis was killed in a plane crash on December 10th, 1967, three days after recording the song.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. Every year, Americans spend almost $3 billion on 460 brands of THIS. What is it?
Coffee

2. Today one of THESE can cost hundreds, thousands, even millions of dollars. But in 1941 the first one was just $9. What is it?
A TV commercial

3. Studies show that if you do THIS, you will spend 20% less while shopping. What is it?
Go alone

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