THURSDAY, June 29 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR THURSDAY, June 29, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: BROUGHT TO YOU BY

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

CAMERA DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Camera Day is best celebrated with pictures. Pictures are invaluable memories of our lives and of the world. They tell stories. Our memories and stories are captured by a camera. With digital technology, using a camera has never been easier. Cameras are now built into cell phones, so you always have a camera with you, ready to record the moments of your life. To many people, a camera is a vital tool to record important events in the family and in the world. It captures the moment … forever. It creates the memories that we share and look back upon. From the birth of a baby, to high school graduations, people take pictures at a fast click. Year after year, the camera records family vacations, holidays and Christmas. The camera takes pictures of good times, and occasionally bad time. George Eastman is the ‘Father of Photography.’ He didn’t invent photography. He made many photographic inventions, and created the mass production that brought cameras into everyday use by millions, if not billions of people. His most famous slogan ‘You take the picture, we do the rest.’ Celebrate Camera Day today in a memorable way. Use your digital camera and click the day away!”

INTERNATIONAL MUD DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Today is International Mud Day. Let’s get down and dirty! To celebrate this very special day, all you need is some water and some dirt. Mix them together, and you’re ready to have some fun! International Mud Day is for everyone, both children, and the child inside of us. Set aside the electronic games. Turn off the television. Set down the smart phone, along with the apps. The purpose of this day is to help children, by bringing them back outdoors to learn about and enjoy nature, along with all it has to offer. To celebrate International Mud Day: Immerse yourself and your friends in a mud pit; Make mud pies and/or mud sculptures; Organize a nature hike for children or yourself. The Origin of International Mud Day: In Nepal, where International Mud Day began, the intention of the original event was to enrich the lives of 58 orphans, by getting them outdoors to enjoy the environment. After splashing in the mud, these children’s moods and attitudes were much improved. This special day is sponsored by the World Forum Foundation.”

WAFFLE IRON DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Waffle Iron Day celebrates this great kitchen gadget that makes tasty waffles. Waffles are cooked between two metal plates. A waffle iron is powered by electricity to heat the plates and create light waffles ready for you to top with syrup, and/or your favorite fruits. Waffles are not just for breakfast. They are good for lunch or dinner, too. The origin of the waffle: The waffle dates back to the 1300s in Greece. Greeks cooked flat cakes between two metal pans. At the time, they topped it with cheeses and herbs. Pancake syrup wasn’t around back then. You do know how to celebrate this day … don’t you!? If you don’t have a waffle iron, today is a good day to go out and buy one. If you are too busy to make waffles yourself, buy some frozen in your grocery store, or order them out at a restaurant.”

June is:

NATIONAL DJ MONTH – Yeah!
National Adopt a Cat / Adopt a Shelter Cat Month
African-American Music / Black Music Appreciation Month
Corn Month
Great Outdoors Month / National Camping Month
International Men’s Month
Lemon Month
LGBTQIA Pride Month
National Candy Month
National Fresh Fruit & Vegetables Month
National Iced Tea Month
National Rose Month
National Seafood Month
Women’s Golf Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
Listings sourced from the TV Guide and EW websites.

THURSDAY, June 29

Season Premieres:
ABC – “The Chase”
ABC – “Generation Gap”
ABC – “Press Your Luck”
Max – “Warrior Season 3”
Netflix – “The Witcher”

FRIDAY, June 30

Season Premiere:
Prime Video – “Jack Ryan”

SUNDAY, July 1

“The Terminal List”
Prime Video – New Series
Synopsis: Returning home from a big mission that’s gone terribly wrong, a Navy SEAL lieutenant commander discovers that someone’s re-written the narrative he himself experienced. And when it seems like the military man and his loved ones are in danger, he enlists some of the folks he served with and a journalist to try and fight the conspiracy. Starring Chris Pratt.

MADONNA IN HOSPITAL, INTUBATED

Madonna was found unresponsive in New York City on Tuesday and rushed to a hospital, where she had to be intubated. The singer, 64, has since had the tube removed and is said to be “alert and recovering.” Madonna’s manager, Guy Oseary, shared on Instagram Wednesday that she’d “developed a serious bacterial infection which led to a several day stay in the ICU.” Madonna is going to “pause all commitments,” including her Celebration tour, which had been scheduled to launch July 15. It is billed as “the ultimate greatest hits tour.”
* HER hits, right?
* Wherever did she get the idea to do a greatest hits tour? I don’t know, let’s ask Taylor Swift.
* Well, she definitely has something to celebrate now.
* While she’s in the hospital, maybe they can remove those cheek implants and grow her eyebrows back.

AUDIO: JASON BIGGS MAKES PIE COMMERCIAL

Actor Jason Biggs, star of the 1999 comedy movie “American Pie,” is now starring in a new Fourth of July-themed campaign for Edwards Desserts. In the commercial, he calls himself “America’s biggest pie lover ― not in a weird way.” In the film, Biggs notoriously sexually assaulted his mom’s apple pie (* not a euphemism). Now, he’s been hired to push a new dessert called the Pie Lovers Passion Fruit that will be unveiled Friday for a limited time.
* No thanks, just a cupcake for me.
* “Pie Lovers … Passion.” Subtle!
* Who is the ad genius who thought to put their new product together in your mind with Jason Bigg’s crotch?
* How many pies got ruined during the filming?
* Good to see the guy who came up with that Bud Light TikTok ad has found another job.
* On July 5th, there’s going to be an apology ad from Jim’s Dad.
CLIP: Audio of the Edwards Desserts ad. It’s been edited for time.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)(com)/prep/wp-content/uploads/JasonBiggsPieCommercial(dot)mp3

THE BUZZ

THREE DUMB HEADLINES

Time for another episode of Three Dumb Headlines. These are actual, word-for-word headlines of stories found on the internet. There’s no story, no context, just the actual headline. Discuss them amongst yourselves. Then, encourage listeners to vote for the Dumbest Headline on your station’s social media page. Maybe ask them to leave a comment. Reveal the results in the next break.
Today’s Dumb Headlines:
1. “Tick Nests; What They Look Like And What To Do If You Find One’”
2. “I Proposed To My Girlfriend Outside An Airplane Bathroom, Haters Dumped On Me ”
3. “Watermelon Coffee: An Investigation”
And here’s a spare, in case you don’t like one of those three: “Musician Makes Beautiful, Ethereal Noise With His Plant”

KETCHUP: IN THE FRIDGE OR ON THE SHELF?

Do you keep your ketchup in the pantry, on the counter or in the refrigerator? The official Heinz UK Twitter account posted a message: “FYI: Ketchup. goes. in. the. fridge!!!” If that’s the case, asked many fans, why is the product is stored on shelves at the supermarket or at restaurants. Heinz then continued the debate by asking followers to vote on whether they keep their ketchup in the fridge or in the cupboard. The vote was split pretty much down the middle.
* So who wins? The Heinz company. We just mentioned their name a half a dozen times.
* Ketchup is important. Sometimes it’s the closest thing to a vegetable that we eat.
* The bigger question is: do you store it right side up for the anticipation, or bottoms up so the ketchup is ready to come out when you open it?
* Since when is “Refrigerate After Opening” just a suggestion?
* If you leave ketchup out, at lease peel off that weird dead layer that forms at the mouth of the bottle.
* I keep it in the pantry. More room in the fridge for the beer.

U.S. NEWS

HOMEOWNER WITH SAMURAI SWORD FIGHTS OFF INTRUDER WITH A PITCHFORK

In Seattle, Washington, a 71-year-old man came home on Sunday to find his kitchen window had been shattered, items had been misplaced, and a stranger was standing in his living room. A struggle ensued and the 61-year-old unnamed suspect attempted to stab the victim with a pitchfork. A pitchfork. The victim was able to escape and retrieve a gun from his bedroom, but it jammed when he tried to shoot. He then grabbed a samurai sword and stabbed the suspect, forcing him to flee. Authorities arrested the suspect on suspicion of burglary. He was being treated for a non-life threatening stab wound.
* “Alright, tell me where you keep the hay and nobody gets hurt.”
* Wasn’t this a scene in “John Wick 3”?
* Anybody else picturing the farmer in the “American Gothic” painting?
* It’s like they say, never bring a pitchfork to a samurai fight.
* Samurai swords and pitchforks are both roughly from the 14th century (* Thanks, ChatGPT!), so I would start checking Seattle for a time portal.
* This is why I always sleep with a loaded sickle under my pillow.

MAN POSES AS CASINO OWNER, STEALS $1 MILLION

A man was arrested for posing as the owner of a Las Vegas casino and convincing employees to give him more than $1 million for fake emergency payments. The hotel’s cage supervisor told police she’d received a phone call from a person who claimed they were the hotel’s owner. That caller said “the fire department needed to do a check on the fire extinguishers” and “they would need a payment for further safety devices.” The cage supervisor brought the money in four installments to the unknown person at different off-site locations. The payments totaled $314,000, $350,000, and $500,000, plus three smaller payments, resulting in a loss of $1,170,000 to the hotel. Detectives were able to track the vehicle involved in the theft to a house, found some of the money and arrested 23-year-old Erik Gutierrez.
* Ocean’s One – the worst prequel ever.
* She should have been suspicious when the so-called casino owner showed up on a skateboard.
* I wonder how much unemployment insurance a casino cage supervisor can get?
* It’s Vegas. You take a shot. Sometimes you win, sometimes you crap out.
* What happens in Vegas, stays in a Vegas jail.

MAN ARRESTED FOR SKITTLES ASSAULT

A Minnesota man is behind bars following an unprovoked Skittles attack on restaurant patrons and employees. Tristan Stetina, 19, allegedly walked into a Mankato, Minnesota restaurant last Friday afternoon and began throwing Skittles at employees and customers. Police arrived and got a description of the suspect from the victims of the Skittle fusilade, and realized they knew the suspect to be Tristan Stetina. He has twice been arrested by Mankato police in recent months. Stetina was charged with misdemeanor assault.
* And felony waste of perfectly good Skittles.
* He should have skedaddled.
* Taste the Rainbow? More like FEEL the Rainbow! BAMM!
* The suspect was described as a Big Hunk.
* How bad was the Skittles attack, officer? Tell the truth, don’t candy-coat it.
* They start with Skittles, but these guys usually escalate, and before long, they’re tossing Atomic Fireballs.

AUDIO: WOMAN FALLS OFF CRUISE SHIP, IS RESCUED

An American woman fell from the 10th deck of a cruise ship and was found alive after treading water in the Caribbean Sea for nearly an hour. The ship was the Royal Caribbean’s Mariner of the Seas, the incident happened near the Dominican Republic last Sunday afternoon. During the 45-minute-long emergency, passengers used binoculars to help the ship’s crew locate the woman. Cruiser Matthew Kuhn reported that “the mood of the cruise quickly shifted from relaxing to serious when passengers learned the woman was missing. When they found her, it was like – people were relieved. There was just a sense of, ‘Okay, cool. No one died on our cruise.’”
* …that you know of. You’re still in the virus incubation period.
* Time to raise the height of the railings … AGAIN.
* The nice part is – usually you gain weight on a vacation, but she got to burn about 1,000 calories.
* Anything to get away from the guy who wouldn’t stop talking about his grandchildren.
* No leaving the ship unless you’ve paid the excursion fee!
CLIP: Our classic “Holler America Cruise Line” parody spot.
CLIP URL: morningsidekick(dot)(com)/prep/wp-content/uploads/HollerAmerCruiseEdit(dot)mp3

FOUR PEOPLE ARE LOCKED AWAY FOR A YEAR IN A MARS HABITAT

On Sunday, four researchers entered a Mars habitat, where they will spend the next year living and working in a simulated Martian environment to help NASA prepare for future missions to the Red Planet. The 1,700-square-foot habitat is actually located at NASA’s Johnson Space Center in Houston, Texas. It has a kitchen, two bathrooms, private bedrooms, a work area, as well as a recreational area for socializing. The habitat will simulate the challenges of a mission on Mars, including resource limitations, equipment failure, communication delays, and other environmental stressors. The four volunteers will carry out simulated spacewalks, robotic operations, habitat maintenance, personal hygiene, exercise, and crop growth. (* Will they grow poopy potatoes like Matt Damon?) The four volunteers are:
– Research scientist Kelly Haston
– Structural engineer Ross Brockwell
– Emergency medicine physician Nathan Jones
– U.S. Navy microbiologist Anca Selariu
* Unfortunately, they’ll be out in time for the 2024 elections.
* “Hey! I thought we were gonna be working with William Shatner!” (He’s hosting “Stars on Mars”)
* They should have sent a poet! (Jodie Foster, in “Contact”)
* Wait’ll they learn the only streaming service they have is Max Plus. They’ll be out soon enough.
* They’re four days into it and just learned that Pauly Shore has somehow locked himself in with them.

TRENDINGPETE DAVIDSON IN TREATMENT FACILITY

Former Saturday Night Live star Pete Davidson has entered rehab in Pennsylvania after struggling with borderline personality disorder and PTSD. Davidson has been open about his struggles with mental health in the past. He is reportedly being treated at the same Pennsylvania facility where his close friend John Mulaney sought help for drink and drugs issues. One friend said: “Pete regularly goes to rehab for ‘tune ups’ and to take a mental break, so that’s what’s happening.”

TOBY KEITH CANCER UPDATE

Toby Keith revealed his stomach cancer diagnosis just over one year ago, and now he says he’s feeling “pretty good” and that “everything is in a real positive trend.” Keith said he wants to tour again by the end of the year if he has enough energy to play a whole show. “All I gotta do is see if I can get through two or three nights of work and get a little break in this chemo, and we’ll go back to work,” he said. Keith said he’s still undergoing chemotherapy for his stomach cancer, that he feels better, his blood tests have been improving and that his tumor has shrunk by one-third. “I’m about another eight weeks from my last scan,” he said. “So I expect next time I look for that tumor to be even less — and I’ve only got one that’s shown up.”

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

July 4, Tuesday – U.S. Independence Day
Sept. 4, Monday – Labor Day
Sept. 11, Monday – Patriot Day
Sept. 23, Saturday – Fall begins (Autumn Equinox is 2:50 a.m. EDT)

BIRTHDAYS

Camila Mendes (actress, Veronica on “Riverdale”) … 29
Lance Barber (actor, “Young Sheldon”) … 50
Christina Chang (actress, “The Good Doctor”) … 52
Melora Hardin (actress, Jan Levinson on “The Office”) … 56
Sharon Lawrence (actress, “Dynasty,” “Rizzoli & Isles,” “NYPD Blue”) … 62
Colin Hay (cockeyed singer, “Men At Work”) … 70
Richard Lewis (comedian, actor, “Curb Your Enthusiasm”) … 76
Gary Busey (actor, “Lethal Weapon,” “The Buddy Holly Story”) … 79

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“When you’re in love, it’s the most glorious two-and-a-half minutes of your life.”

(A) Taylor Swift
(B) Bill Clinton
(C) Richard Lewis

ANSWER: (A) Richard Lewis

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2009 – Financier Bernard Madoff received a 150-year sentence for his multibillion-dollar fraud.
* Too bad he skipped out on most of the sentence.

2004 – Randy Johnson of the Arizona Diamondbacks became the fourth pitcher in major league history to record 4,000 career strikeouts, during a loss to the San Diego Padres.
* An awkward moment to tell a guy he’s got to try harder.

1964 – The first draft of the pilot episode for the original “Star Trek” TV show was shown to NBC executives.
* Sorry. Ordinarily, Star Trek trivia doesn’t make it into our daily look at history, but we’ve got this new geeky intern.

1956 – American playwright Arthur Miller married sex bomb Marilyn Monroe.
* He continued to write plays, just in much shakier handwriting.

1953 – The Federal Highway Act authorized the construction of 42,500 miles of freeway from coast to coast.
* This was a great day for anyone who owned stock in concrete manufacturers.

1925 – Marvin Pipkin filed for a patent for the frosted electric light bulb.
* He later made one with a cream filling.

1880 – France annexed Tahiti.
* Leave it to the French to annex an island of topless women.

1613 – The Globe Theater in England, which presented many of William Shakespeare’s plays, burned down.
* However, to the vexation of high school students through history, he kept back-up copies of his plays elsewhere.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2016 – Elvis Presley’s daughter Lisa Marie filed for divorce from her fourth husband, Michael Lockwood, just months after the couple celebrated their 10th wedding anniversary. Lisa Marie had previously been wed to Danny Keough from 1988 until 1994, Michael Jackson from 1994 to 1999 and to actor Nicolas Cage from 2002 to 2004.

2004 – Courtney Love was reprimanded by Los Angeles Judge Melissa Jackson for turning up five hours late to a hearing. Love pleaded guilty to a single charge of disorderly conduct and was given a discharge, on condition she paid the victim’s medical bills, joined a drug program and stayed out of trouble.

2000 – Eminem’s mother, Debbie Mathers-Briggs, went to court claiming defamation of character in a $10 million civil suit, after taking exception to the line “My mother smokes more dope than I do” from her son’s single “My Name Is.” She was eventually awarded $25,000, of which all but $1,600 went to her lawyer.

1999 – Michael Jackson suffered severe bruising after falling over 50 feet when a bridge collapsed during a concert at Munich’s Olympic stadium. Jacko was singing “Earth Song” at the time of the accident.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. Each year in the U.S., about 17 tons of gold is used to make THIS. What is it?
Wedding rings

2. About 6% of wedding proposals are done using THIS. What is it?
They’re done over the phone

3. 40% of women surveyed do not want THIS in their wedding. What it is?
The words “honor and obey” in the vows

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