THURSDAY, Aug 10 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR THURSDAY, August 10, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: BROUGHT TO YOU BY; THE ONLY MORNING SHOW IN TOWN

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

LAZY DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Lazy Day is your chance to goof off, and definitely not work. And, it definitely comes at a good time. Hot, muggy weather makes it easy to kick back and be lazy for a day. If summer chores are not done by now, they can just wait one more day. It is best spent on a hammock, along with your favorite summer beverage. Whoever said ‘There’s no lazy days…just lazy people,’ well, we respectfully disagree. Today is proof positive. It is indeed a Lazy Day. And, we consider that a good thing.”

NATIONAL S’MORES DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“S’mores are a favorite campsite treat for young and old kids. If you’re at a campfire, chances are, there’s S’mores. Sticky and gooey, and loaded with sugar and carbs, S’mores are nothing short of delicious. Who was the first person to create S’mores? We don’t know. But, we’re all sure glad they did! National S’mores Day celebrates this tasty summer treat. It’s appropriately observed in August…campfire prime time. Don’t limit your consumption of S’mores to the campfire. They are popular with kids year round, and can be baked in the oven, or microwave. The origin of S’mores dates back to the 1920’s. It’s believed the recipe was created by the Campfire Girls. Girl Scouts soon discovered it, and found it to be chocolatey delicious. Before long, S’mores became a campfire staple for everyone. S’more folklore suggests that S’mores got its name right by the campfire. After eating one, young kids chanted ‘Gimme some more!'”

NATIONAL SPOIL YOUR DOG DAY

August is:

Black Business Month
Family Fun Month
International Peace Month
National Back to School Month
National Catfish Month
National Crayon Collection Month
National Goat Cheese Month
National Golf Month
National Panini Month
National Peach Month
National Sandwich Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
Listings sourced from the TV Guide and EW websites.

THURSDAY, Aug 10

“Painkiller”
Netflix – New Series
Synopsis: A fictionalized retelling of the origins and aftermath of the opioid crisis in America, following the perpetrators, victims, and truth-seekers whose lives are forever altered by Purdue Pharma, the company behind OxyContin.

Season Premiere:
USA – “The Challenge: USA”

FRIDAY, Aug 11

“Heart of Stone”
Netflix – New Movie
Synopsis: An intelligence operative for a shadowy global peacekeeping agency races to stop a hacker from stealing its most valuable — and dangerous — weapon. Starring Gal Gadot.

“Red, White & Royal Blue”
Prime Video – New Movie
Synopsis: The long-running feud between Alex, the U.S. president’s son, and Britain’s Prince Henry, threatens to drive a wedge in U.S./British relations. When the rivals are forced into a staged truce, their icy relationship begins to thaw and the friction between them sparks something deeper than they ever expected.

Season Premiere:
Showtime – “Billions”

THE BUZZ

THREE DUMB HEADLINES

Time for another episode of Three Dumb Headlines. These are actual, word-for-word headlines of stories found on the internet. There’s no story, no context, just the actual headline. Discuss them amongst yourselves. Then, encourage listeners to vote for the Dumbest Headline on your station’s social media page. Maybe ask them to leave a comment. Reveal the results in the next break.
Today’s Dumb Headlines:
1. “My Jaguar Isn’t Ideal For My Kayaks! What Car Should I Buy?”
2. “The Surprising Connection Between ‘Pee-wee’s Playhouse’ and ‘Boyz n the Hood’”
3. ” If Your Boogers Look Like This, It’s Time To See A Doctor”
And here’s a spare, in case you don’t like one of those three: “What Makes A Great Movie Poster?”

THE PETTY REASON I BROKE UP

Reddit asked, “”What’s the weirdest reason you’ve broken up with someone?” Some of the responses:
– “She wouldn’t stop talking to me in an annoying baby voice. If I said, ‘Hey, I’m gonna go hang out with so-and-so,’ she would say, ‘Gurlfwend go, too?’ And if I said no, she would put on a sad voice and say, ‘Gurlfwend go, toooo…’ She was 23 years old.”
– “I went out for Halloween and met a guy dressed as a pirate that looked like Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean — it was the era of those movies. We started dating, and I realized he looked like a pirate 24/7, and I couldn’t handle it.”
– “She constantly said ‘Chip-ol-tay’ instead of Chipotle. True sad story.”
– “She would speak French to herself in the mirror at home, and then she would do it at restaurants thinking it made her sound sexy, I guess? Here’s the thing — she knew not one word of French. She just spoke gibberish that sounded VAGUELY like French. She just wanted to act like she was speaking French.”
– “He collected used candy wrappers. When he first told me, I thought he was joking. We dated for two months before I realized he was incredibly serious.”
– “She added me to her family’s group chat after a week of dating. Too much pressure.”
– “They thought microwaving one piece of leftover pizza needed four minutes.”
– “She threw garbage out my truck window while driving down the road. First date and last date.”
– “She squeezed a disgusting amount of mustard in her hand then ate it.”
– “We ordered some fries from the food court. She asked for a large handful of mayo packets. She took a whole packet and emptied it on one single fry, opened another and squeezed half of it on the same fry, then downed it.”
– “She insisted that the phrase was ‘eight of one, half a dozen of the other.’ I told her it was six, which is a half dozen. She told me, ‘You say it your way, I’ll say it mine.'”
– “Her dog was teaching my dog to howl at sirens.”
* Picky, picky, picky.
* Did anyone ever end a relationship because the other person was too “judgy”?
* These sound like the plots from the the upcoming season of “Curb Your Enthusiasm.”
* I’m just relieved none of these included the words “body parts.”
* Word to the wise. If you’re in a relationship and NOTHING about the other person drives you crazy … just wait.
* PHONE TOPIC: What’s the weird reason you broke up with somone?

U.S. NEWS

DRIVING INSTRUCTOR DRIVES INTO DRIVING SCHOOL

On Tuesday in Lakewood, Colorado, an instructor at a driving school drove into the driving school building. While attempting to park a Hyundai Tucson in a spot in front of the Community Driving School, the driver accidentally drove straight into the building. The car was stuck in the front window under a sign saying “Learn to Drive.” Police say there was only one minor injury.
* You know what they say: Those that can’t do, teach.
* Maybe it’s the first drive-thru driving school.
* Now that you’ve arrived at the school, how about sitting in on some classes?
* I’m sure there isn’t a driving instructor out there who hasn’t thought, “Aw, screw it.”
* This would make a great ad – for every other driving school in town.
* Just hurry up with those self-driving cars.

DISNEY SECURITY DOG BIT GUEST

A Nevada resident, Paul Perez, 81, has filed a lawsuit against Disneyland alleging that a security dog bit him in the stomach at the park’s entrance during a May 10, 2022 visit. The lawsuit states that the handler caused the security dog to “step directly in front of” Perez, causing him to step directly in front of the animal. As he stepped directly in front of the security dog, the animal bit Perez’s stomach. Perez is seeking damages from Disneyland for the medical treatment, pain, suffering, and emotional distress.
* He’s also demanding that Pluto be put down.
* Park employees rushed him to the medical center, where the singing mice and happy little birds who made Cinderella’s dress stitched him right up.
* It took 15 months, but he finally decided the way the whole thing went down just wasn’t right.
* Life lesson: Sometimes a dog’s bark is NOT worse than its bite.
* He’s suing for money, but he’ll settle for a lifetime FastPass on every ride.
* Just be glad it wasn’t Disney WORLD. That place has alligators.

TEXAS STATE FAIR FOOD FINALISTS

Here are the ten finalists for food items that will be sold at this year’s Texas State Fair. Among these finalists, three winners will be chosen:
1. Deep Fried Cheesy Crab Tater Bites: Minced crab meat, shredded potato, cheese, and spices fried up in bundles and served with a cheesy Cajun sauce.
2. Deep Fried Pho: Picture every element in a bowl of Vietnamese pho, turned into an egg roll in a pho broth that has been slowly simmered for hours.
3. Loaded Fries Pizza: A pizza topped with buttermilk ranch dressing, shredded mozzarella, salted french fries, a layer of cheddar, and a sprinkling of chopped bacon.
4. Ox’cellent Soul Roll: Slow-simmered oxtails, potatoes, smoked gouda, mozzarella, onions, celery, and peppers loaded into a spring roll, served fried with garlic chili sauce.
5. Turkey Ribs: Featuring “the best part of turkey you never knew you loved,” fried up and served with stuffing-seasoned fries, gravy, and salsa.
6. Biscoff Delight: Chocolate-coated New York cheesecake slice with crumbled Biscoff cookies and a drizzle of Biscoff cookie butter.
7. Bourbon Banana Caramel Sopapillas: Traditional sopapillas served with vanilla caramel banana slices, bourbon syrup, crushed candied pecans, sweetened mascarpone cheese, crumbled Nilla Wafers, and powdered sugar.
8. Fernie’s Fried Cherry Pie in the Sky: This cherry pie is layered with shortbread cookies, topped with butter almond shortbread crumble, and served with ice cream, whipped cream, and sugared dark sweet cherries.
9. Sweet Encanto: A waffle wafer drizzled with dulce de leche and layered with cream, strawberries, kiwi, peaches, and shredded coconut, topped with raspberry jam and sweetened condensed milk.
10. Trail-Ade: A non-alcoholic cocktail blending lemonade with summer fruit, cucumber, and mint, served up in a souvenir cup shaped like a cowboy boot.
* Well, they should be ashamed of themselves. Only one of these includes bacon.
* I can’t decide which one I would want to vomit as I’m riding The Zipper.
* I want to know which ones will turn bad in the Texas heat the quickest.
* Just reading this story makes me have to loosen my belt a few notches.

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

FINNISH MAN PUTS DYNAMITE IN FRIEND’S CARS AS A JOKE

A Finnish man reportedly put 12 kilograms (26.5 pounds) of dynamite in two cars belonging to a friend, saying it “was a joke.” The owner of the two cars didn’t think it was funny and called police, who briefly detained the prankster. The two men live in a small village in the western part of Finland. The suspect faces up to two years in prison.
* Which is always a blast itself.
* Hate to see a friendship blow up like this.
* So much for the Finnish being fun-ish.
* It’s like the laziest gangland hit ever.
* A joke? I guess it’s KIND of funny. Now, nitroglycerine – THAT would have been HILARIOUS.

ITALIAN RESTAURANT CHARGES $2 TO CUT SANDWICH IN HALF

A bar along northern Italy’s Lake Como reportedly charged two euros, or about $2.19, to cut a toasted sandwich in two, according to a Tripadvisor review of the establishment. The customer’s receipt shows that Bar Pace in Gera Lario included a 10% surcharge for their meal to be “divided in half.” The man and his partner asked to split a vegetable and potato toast. The unnamed customer wrote, “We have to pay because the toast was cut in half? Incredible but true.”
* In Italy, it’s known as the “too cheap to buy a second meal” tax.
* Let this be a lesson, folks. When visiting Italy, bring a machete.
* To be fair, it’s actually one dollar to cut the sandwich, and another to push the halves apart onto opposite sides of the plate.
* What do you tip somebody to cut your sandwich in half for two bucks?
– THIS IS TRUE: When preparing this story, Morning Sidekick checked the restaurant’s listing on Tripadvisor, and found this post:
Message from Tripadvisor:
Due to a recent event that has attracted media attention and has caused an influx of review submissions that do not describe a first-hand experience, we have temporarily suspended publishing new reviews for this listing. If you’ve had a firsthand experience at this property, please check back soon – we’re looking forward to receiving your review!
* So … they probably won’t be charging to cut a sandwich anymore.

TRENDING

ROBBIE ROBERTSON OF THE BAND, DEAD AT 80

Robbie Robertson of The Band has died. He was 80 and died after a long illness. Robertson began playing guitar at the age of 10, and six years later joined drummer Levon Helm in the Hawks, the backing band for rockabilly star Ronnie Hawkins. Bandmates eventually included Rick Danko, Richard Manuel, and Garth Hudson. Moving to Woodstock, New York in 1967, Robertson and his bandmates recorded the groundbreaking “basement tapes” with Bob Dylan before changing their name to The Band and releasing their seminal “Music from Big Pink” album the following year. Robertson was also a film composer, frequently collaborating with Martin Scorsese, and recently completed his fourteenth film soundtrack, “Killers of the Flower Moon.”

STATUES OF JAGGER, RICHARDS UNVEILED IN HOMETOWN

Bronze statues of Mick Jagger and Keith Richards have been unveiled in their home town of Dartford, Kent. The pair met as teenagers on a platform of the town’s railway station in 1961, and formed the Rolling Stones the following year. They had both attended Wentworth primary school in Dartford, but went to different secondary schools. The statues, commissioned by Dartford borough council, show the pair in mid-performance. Jagger is strutting with a microphone in hand. Richards has his head bent over his “Micawber” Telecaster guitar, which was a birthday gift from Eric Clapton. The bronzes, titled The Glimmer Twins, were created by Amy Goodman, a fan of the band.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

Sept. 4, Monday – Labor Day
Sept. 11, Monday – Patriot Day
Sept. 15, Friday – National POW/MIA Recognition Day (The third Friday of September)
Sept. 23, Saturday – Fall begins (Autumn Equinox is 2:50 a.m. EDT)
Oct. 9, Monday – Columbus Day
Oct. 16, Monday – National Boss’s Day
Oct. 31, Tuesday – Halloween

BIRTHDAYS

Jennifer Hanson (country singer) … 50
Angie Harmon (actress, “Rizzoli & Isles”) … 51
Justin Theroux (actor) … 52
Antonio Banderas (actor) … 63
Rosanna Arquette (actress) … 64
Ian Anderson (rock singer, flutist w Jethro Tull) … 76

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I have buckteeth, I hate my thighs … I don’t think I’m pretty at all.”

(A) Hillary Swank
(B) Sarah Jessica Parker
(C) Rosanna Arquette

ANSWER (C) Rosanna Arquette

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2017 – A 100 year-old fruit cake discovered in a hut used by Captain Scott’s expedition in Antarctica was deemed “almost eatable”.
* Which is also how you’d describe a fruitcake made last week.

2003 – Ekaterina Dmitriev and Russian cosmonaut Yuri Malenchenko were married. Malenchenko was about 240 miles above the earth in the international space station. It was the first-ever marriage from space.
* A match made – well, half of it, anyway – in heaven.

1994 – President Clinton claimed presidential immunity in asking a federal judge to dismiss, at least for the time being, a sexual harassment lawsuit filed by Paula Corbin Jones, a former Arkansas state employee.
* He didn’t get the message from the Nixon days that just ’cause you’re president doesn’t mean you can do anything you want.

1962 – Marvel Comics’ superhero Spider-Man made his debut in issue 15 of “Amazing Fantasy.”
* Fans were immediately stuck on him!

1885 – Leo Daft started running America’s first electric streetcar in Baltimore, Maryland.
* People thought he was daft – and he was!

1869 – The motion picture projector was patented by O.B. Brown.
* But he made his BIG money selling a penny’s worth of popped corn for 50 cents.

1846 – Congress established the Smithsonian Institution.
* They needed a place to stick all the country’s weird bug collections.

1833 – The city of Chicago was incorporated.
* “You want to put the city HERE? But it BLOWS here!”

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2016 – Ed Sheeran was being sued over claims that his track “Thinking Out Loud” ripped off a Marvin Gaye song. The family of Ed Townsend, who co-wrote “Let’s Get It On,” said it copied key parts of the track. The suit was dismissed, but another was filed in June, 2018.

2002 – Lisa Marie Presley married actor Nicolas Cage at a resort in Hawaii. The marriage was Presley’s third. She was married previously to musician Danny Keough and pop star Michael Jackson. Cage filed for divorce four months later.

1985 – Michael Jackson bought the rights to the Beatles music for $47 million.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. Millions of people start THESE every day, but only 11% finish them. What are they?
Crossword puzzles

2. 70% of people who own one of THESE talk to it. What is it?
Their car

3. Nearly 36% of people do THIS at least once a week. What is it?
Call a wrong number

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