THURSDAY, Apr 20 – DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION

MORNING SIDEKICK DAILY PREP TEXT VERSION FOR THURSDAY, April 20, 2023
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COMEDY MP3s POSTED ON OUR PREP SITE FOR TODAY: BROUGHT TO YOU BY

TODAY IS …
(All days repeat annually on today’s date unless otherwise noted; days may or may not be called “National”/”International”/”World” depending on source; sources listed often have additional info. We generally do not list special days which were created by commercial companies for the purpose of marketing, or the hundreds of disease awareness listings which occur each year.)

LIMA BEAN RESPECT DAY

LOOK ALIKE DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Oh Boy! It’s Look Alike Day. Time to look like somebody else … copycat. Today’s a day to find someone you really look up to, and try to look like them. Start with the hair. Cut and style your hair, as needed, to look like the person you’ve selected to look like. Then, select items from your wardrobe (or buy some new clothes!) that your lookalike wears. Along the way, make sure to practice and copy their walk, their talk, and their facial expressions. In other words. try to be as identical to that person as possible. Who should you look like? Anyone you want. Its as simple as that. Pick an actor or actress, a singer, a politician, family member or friend. Look alike contests and parties are a great idea for today.”

NATIONAL PINEAPPLE UPSIDE-DOWN CAKE DAY

NATIONAL POT SMOKERS DAY / 4/20 / WEED DAY / NATIONAL WEED DAY

VOLUNTEER RECOGNITION DAY
The Holiday Insights website says this:
“Volunteer Recognition Day honors the legions of volunteers who dedicate themselves to causes and helping others. They are making big and small differences in the lives of millions of people all over the world. They are saving lives. They are improving lives and providing comfort. They assist people, animals, and nature. Most volunteers do not ask for recognition. They just want to help and to ‘give back’ where they can. In documenting special and unique days, this author attempts to avoid editorializing, and keeps to reporting the facts. But, I will step away from the norm when speaking to this topic. It is vital and essential that more people get involved. There are so many groups and causes that need volunteer efforts. And, the needs are so broad and urgent, that everyone can find someplace to volunteer and make a difference. Celebrate this Volunteer Recognition Day by: Thanking volunteers for their work; getting involved yourself in a volunteer activity; donating to a volunteer group.”

April is:

Car Care Month
Celebrate Diversity Month
D.E.A.R Drop Everything and Read Month
International Guitar Month
Jazz Appreciation Month
Keep America Beautiful Month
National Card and Letter Writing Month
National Garden Month
National Greyhound Adoption Month
National Humor Month
National Poetry Month

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
Listings sourced from the TV Guide and EW websites.

THURSDAY, Apr 20

“The Diplomat”
Netflix – New Series
Synopsis: Keri Russell plays a diplomat who’s unexpectedly named the new U.S. ambassador to the United Kingdom, where she manages global crises while bristling at the spotlight.

“Mrs. Davis”
Peacock – New Series
Synopsis: A nun goes to war with an artificial intelligence system called Mrs. Davis.

Season Premiere:
Paramount+ – Mike Judge’s Beavis and Butt-head

FRIDAY, Apr 21

“Dead Ringers”
Amazon Prime Video – New Series
Synopsis: Rachel Weisz plays toxically co-dependent twin gynecologists Elliot and Beverly Mantle, who aren’t afraid to violate the Hippocratic Oath in order to challenge misogyny in women’s health care.

“Judy Blume Forever”
Amazon Prime Video – New Documentary
Synopsis: Documents the life and legacy of the trailblazing author and her fearless mission to openly discuss taboo subjects.

“Dear Mama”
FX – New Series
Synopsis: Tells the story of mother and son, Afeni and Tupac Shakur.

“Slip”
The Roku Channel – New Series
Synopsis: A 30-something woman who finds herself restless inside a marriage that totally works embarks on a fantastical journey of parallel universes, as she enters new relationships, trying to find her way back to her partner, and ultimately, herself.

SATURDAY, Apr 22

“Chasing the Rains”
BBC America – New Docuseries
Synopsis: The four-part series showcases one of the most majestic, unspoiled, and rarely filmed areas in Africa, and the wildlife that struggle to survive through cycles of drought and dramatic rainfall.

SUNDAY, Apr 23

“Amityville: An Origin Story”
MGM+ – New Docuseries
Synopsis: Tells the story of the murder of a family of six that became eclipsed by paranormal controversy.

Season Premieres:
HBO – “Somebody Somewhere”
HGTV – “Home Town Takeover”
MGM+ – “FROM”

WOODY HARRELSON & MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY WILL TAKE DNA TEST TO SEE IF THEY ARE BROTHERS

Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson are going to take a DNA test to find out if they are brothers. The two are very good friends. The possibility came up recently. McConaughey said he and his mother and Harrelson were sitting around talking about how close they and their families were. McConaughey’s mom said. “Woody, I knew your dad” and paused. Both Woody and Matthew felt there was something unsaid in the way she said the word “knew.” (* Yes, it’s called knowing someone “in the biblical sense.”) They did some math and found out that Harrelson’s dad was on furlough at the same time that McConaughey’s mom and dad were divorcing. They think there might have “been a moment.”
* Gee, I’m sorry your mom’s a slut, man.
* Is Woody bothered that Matthew got the great head of hair?
* The probability is high. Not the brother thing — the probability is that they’re both high. All the time.
* This idea is bongos. I mean, bonkers. (If you’re confused, google “matthew mcconaughey bongos”)
* They’re going to find out that they’re not brothers, but both are related to the same strain of Afghan Kush cannabis.

THE BUZZ

THREE DUMB HEADLINES

Time for another episode of Three Dumb Headlines. These are actual, word-for-word headlines of stories found on the internet. There’s no story, no context, just the actual headline. Discuss them amongst yourselves. Then, encourage listeners to vote for the Dumbest Headline on your station’s social media page. Maybe ask them to leave a comment. Reveal the results in the next break.
Today’s Dumb Headlines:
1. “What I Learned From Baby’s First Motorcycle Road Trip”
2. “My Fake Nail Was Caught In A Toilet And I Almost Lost My Finger”
3. “I Painted My Room With A Potato”
And here’s a spare, in case you don’t like one of those three: “The Reality Of The Butt Lift Is Complicated”

BAD BOSSES

Here are some real memos and emails that horrible bosses have sent:
– An email: “From now on, no one can request days off anymore. I will do the schedule. If you don’t show up you are fired.”
– Memo: “We have a long-term employee of 17 years who’s been in the hospital and rehab for several months. She has exhausted all her Personal Time Off days. If there is anyone who would like to donate one or more days of their PTO, please let the VP of Financial Services know.”
– Note on water cooler: “Hello Water Drinker: If you would like to enjoy this delicious Poland Spring Water please get signed up to the water club. This water ain’t free yo.” (Is this boss named Jesse Pinkman?)
– Email from owner of a sandwich shop: “Just had two employees quit today without explanation. If anyone can volunteer until I find new staff, i would be eternally grateful and even give you a sandwich.”
– Memo: “I’m not so happy this morning. Yesterday, 3 of you submitted your two weeks notice. The new rule will now require a 3-months notice since that’s how long it took to train you, and your 3-months notice will serve as consent for your base pay to be lowered by $6 an hour.”
– “New Office Rule: For every minute you are late you will be required to work for 10 minutes after 6pm. Thanks.”
– Email exchange: “Did you create an order for this week?” / “I’m confused. Was my position eliminated or not?” / “Yes, but you prepped an order on Sunday and was wondering where it was if at all.” / “Bless your heart. You don’t fire someone and then still contact them to ask questions about the job because you don’t know.”
– Memo: “The reward for work well done is the opportunity to do more.”
* PHONE TOPIC: Your Horrible Boss story.

LISTENING TO MUSIC FOR AN HOUR A DAY WARDS OFF BRAIN DECLINE

Researchers from the University of Geneva have done a study that finds that both listening and learning to play music could prevent a decline in brain health. The researchers studied 132 healthy older and retired adults between the ages of 62 and 78, none of which had ever had music lessons. Half the group were taught to play the piano, the other half had to actively focus on listening to music. Both classes were an hour long and each class had 30 minutes of homework daily. After six months, they found an increase in grey matter in four brain regions involved in high-level cognitive functioning in all participants, including the cerebellum areas that involve working memory. In other words, brain function improved.
* And that’s why it’s smart to listen to (Your Station Handle) for at least an hour a day! Science!
* Although we’re here listening for three hours every day and our mental function definitely declines by 9 a.m.
* Here’s our new slogan: “Listen to (Today’s Best Music/Greatest Hits of the 00’s/Top Country Hits/etc) until your brain explodes with smartness.”
* The bad part: Now there are 66 grandmas and grampas who always want to play the piano for people … but with only six months’ practice, honestly, they’re not that good.

U.S. NEWS

MAN ROBS SAME STORE 11 TIMES IN 5 MONTHS

Chicago police arrested a man on Monday who allegedly robbed the same store 11 times in 5 months, between December 2022 and April. Donte Elbert, 36, was taken into custody after he tried to walk past the register without paying. Police did not say if they believe Elbert is connected to any other thefts.
* Probably not. He was too busy stealing from this place.
* Don’t you just hate it when your favorite store is out of something you want, and you have to go back over and over and over?
* It got to a point where he just called the store and said, “I’m on my way over. Can you have my stuff ready?”
* He was kind of the opposite of a “secret shopper.”
* Ten times the guy walked past the register. Then the clerk finally asked the manager: “This isn’t the way it’s supposed to work, is it?”

INTERNATIONAL NEWS

ULTRAMARATHON RUNNER CHEATED, USED A CAR

Scottish ultramarathon runner Joasia Zakrzewski has been disqualified from a 50-mile race because she rode in a car for a section of the course. Zakrzewski was competing in the ultramarathon race from Manchester to Liverpool on April 7. The 47-year-old runner came in third, but later confessed. She explained to the BBC she was “tired and jet lagged and felt sick” during the race having arrived from Australia the night before. She said she became lost around the halfway mark and her leg became sore, after which she accepted a ride in a friend’s car to the next checkpoint. She said, “When I got to the checkpoint, I told the race officials I was pulling out and that I had been in the car and they said, ‘You will hate yourself if you stop.’” So she agreed to continue in a “non-competitive way.” But then, she came in third and accepted the trophy. “It wasn’t malicious, it was miscommunication,” she told the BBC, adding that she regretted not telling officials at the end of the event that she hadn’t been running competitively.
* Nobody runs 50 miles and then says, “I just did it for fun.”
* Tired and jet-lagged? It’s an 18-hour flight. She didn’t nap?
* If you ever get lost halfway through a marathon, try FOLLOWING ALL THE OTHER RUNNERS.
* “It wasn’t malicious, it was miscommunication.” Wasn’t that one of FOX’s explanations in the voting machine lawsuit?
* Now, no one remembers who came in first, but everyone will long remember who came in third.
* For example, Who won the 1980 Boston Marathon? No idea. What’s the name of the woman who cheated in that race? Rosie Ruiz.

COKE BEAR

A British Columbia woman discovered a bear broke into her car and drank 69 cans of soda she had stored in there. Sharon Rosel said her dog woke her up at her Earls Cove home about 3 a.m. She looked outside to see a bear had shattered one of her car windows and was helping itself to the cans of soda she had purchased for her business. The bear drank 69 of the 72 cans of soft drinks she had stored overnight in her car. The damage to her car included ripped leather, a broken window roller and sticky residue everywhere.
* The movie was better.
* If they want to track it, I’m sure they can just follow the burps.
* It got the idea from those Coca-Cola Christmas Polar Bears.
* Coulda been worse. Bear coulda stole her catalytic converter.
* Folks, don’t let this happen to you. When night comes, always hang your car from a high tree branch.

DOG CHEWS OFF MAN’S TOE; MAN THANKFUL

A British man was horrified after waking up to find that his dog had nearly chewed off his big toe. But then realized the dog saved his life. David Lindsay, 64, of Cambridge, was asleep on the couch with his bulldog Harley nearby. He woke up after he heard his wife scream. Harley, a 7-month off boxer, had left bloody stump where his big toe had been. At the hospital, he learned his foot was completely numb, which is why he didn’t feel the bite. Mr. Lindsay suffers from diabetes, and a CT scan revealed that he also had two blocked arteries, which could have led to a leg amputation due to the lack of blood flow to the region. Says Mr. Lindsay, “You’ve got to laugh about it. I’ll be keeping the dog.”
* Just the same, he’ll be wearing socks now.
* He’s trying to wean the dog over to li’l smokies (cocktail wieners, cocktail franks).
* He’s lucky it was just diabetes and his toe. He could have had an STD.
* How many bites does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
* This story makes my toes curl!

TRENDING

“RUST” FILM TO CONTINUE FILMING THIS WEEK

The movie “Rust” will resume production this week as Alec Baldwin continues to battle the legal fallout from the on-set shooting of Halyna Hutchins in 2021. Principal photography for the film will begin Thursday (4/20) at Yellowstone Film Ranch in Montana. Production on the independent Western came to an abrupt and tragic halt on Oct. 21, 2021, when star and producer Baldwin fired a prop gun that fatally struck cinematographer Hutchins, 42, at the filming site in New Mexico.

ALMANAC

NOTABLE DATES, UPCOMING U.S. OBSERVANCES

May 14, Sunday – Mother’s Day
May 29, Monday – Memorial Day
June 14, Wednesday – Flag Day
June 18, Sunday – Father’s Day
June 21, Wednesday – Summer begins (The June solstice occurs at 10:58 a.m. EDT)

BIRTHDAYS

Carlos Valdes (actor, “Up Here,” “The Flash”) … 34
Carmen Electra (D-list actress) … 51
Wade Hayes (country singer) … 54
Andy Serkis (actor, motion capture actor) … 59
Jessica Lange (actress, “American Horror Story”) … 74
Ryan O’Neal (actor) … 82
George Takei (actor, LGBT advocate, Mr. Sulu on the original Star Trek) … 86

BIRTHDAY QUOTE QUIZ – Ask your listeners “Who said it?” HINT: Today’s their birthday!

“I’m more attracted to a stronger man rather than a feminine man. Someone who would just throw me down and take control. I love feeling helpless. I definitely like a man who is aggressive and confident.”

(A) Hillary Clinton
(B) Oprah Winfrey
(C) Carmen Electra

ANSWER: (C) Carmen Electra

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

2010 – An explosion on the Deepwater Horizon oil platform, leased by British Petroleum, killed 11 workers and began spewing an estimated 200 million gallons of crude into the Gulf of Mexico for nearly three months.
* On the anniversary of the start of the Revolutionary War? Is Britain still angry over that?

NOTED BUT NOT FIT FOR HUMOR
1999 – The Columbine High School massacre occurred in Littleton, Colorado (next to Denver) when two students opened fire killing twelve classmates, a teacher, and themselves; twenty-six others were wounded in the attack.

1990 – Pete Rose pleaded guilty to hiding $300,000 in income.
* It was a cup of casino chips in his locker.

1987 – A Japanese expedition reached the North Pole by motorcycle.
* Although we have no idea why.

1887 – The first ever car race was held in Paris. Only one competitor entered.
* Well, at least you could run back to the concession stand without worrying about missing anything.

1879 – The first mobile home, a horse drawn hut, was used in a journey from London to Cyprus.
* And then it was hit by a tornado.

THIS DAY IN MUSIC HISTORY

2020 – Stuck at home in lockdown during the coronavirus pandemic, Willie Nelson staged the “Come And Toke It” live stream (in reference to 4/20 day, “the unofficial weed holiday”) to support efforts to legalize marijuana and free those incarcerated for it. Guests included Ziggy Marley, Kacey Musgraves, Billy Ray Cyrus and Toby Keith.

2002 – In the dispute over who owned the rights to Nirvana’s recordings, Dave Grohl and Kirst Novoselic asked a Seattle Court to prove that Courtney Love was mentally stable. They told the court that Love was “irrational, mercurial, self-centered, unmanageable, inconsistent and unpredictable.” They also claimed a contract was invalid because Love was “stoned” when she signed it. Eventually Love remained the primary beneficiary of the publishing rights to Kurt Cobain’s estate, which included more than 98 percent of the publishing rights to Nirvana’s music.

1996 – Pop superstar Madonna announced that she was pregnant by her personal trainer, Carlos Leon.

1990 – Janet Jackson received a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame at the start of “Janet Jackson week” in Los Angeles.

1987 – This week in 1987, the disco-rollerskating Broadway musical “Starlight Express” broke the box-office record set by “The King and I” when it set a record earning $606,081.

1981 – John Phillips of The Mamas and the Papas received a five-year jail sentence after pleading guilty to drug possession charges; the sentence was suspended after 30 days. Phillips started touring the U.S. lecturing against the dangers of taking drugs.

1961 – The FCC granted FM radio stations the right to begin broadcasting in stereo – that decision led to the “underground” radio movement, which in turn spawned commercial FM radio.

1959 – Country music legend Dolly Parton released her first single, “Puppy Love.”

1957 – Elvis Presley started an eight-week run at No.1 on the U.S. singles chart with “All Shook Up,” which was the year’s biggest single, selling over 2 million copies.

X-TREME TRIVIA CHALLENGE

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three mystery factoids. Create your own “Impossible Question” contest – great for listener giveaways and phone interaction starters! Also a perfect sponsorship opportunity!

1. 50% of women have tried to lose weight by doing THIS. What is it?
Putting their food on a smaller plate

2. THIS typically happens to women at around age 35. What is it?
They start to act like their mother

3. The number of women doing THIS has gone up 25% in the past 10 years. What is it?
Robbing banks

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