THIS YEAR’S “MUSIC/TV/RADIO/PODCAST FOR YOUR PET” STORY

Spotify can now generate playlists for your pets. A new feature claims to customize mixtapes to a particular species and personality traits. The “Pet Playlists” tool allows users to choose between dog, cat, iguana, hamster and bird, then tell the platform how energetic or friendly their animal is to help Spotify “pick the playlist vibe.” For instance, a playlist curated for a relaxed, curious cat plays 30 tracks including The Cure’s “All Cats Are Grey” and “Never Run Away” by Kurt Vile. (* Hey, I get it – they’re SONGS ABOUT CATS! Why has nobody thought of this before?)
– Spotify has also launched a podcast called “My Dog’s Favorite Podcast” for when you leave the house. While ambient music takes up most of each five-hour episode, the show begins with a British-accented narrator reassuring its doggo listeners: “I know you are going to have such a relaxing and enjoyable time right here.”
* God, I hope Spotify didn’t put too much money and research into this project. Though something tells me they didn’t.
* One of the five animals chosen is “iguana”? Seriously? But no “ferret”?
* If you think this is a great idea, don’t forget to also hang some relaxation crystals over the doggie bed.
* That’s good – cover up the sound of a burglar breaking in with a podcast for your dog.
* I guess it’s better than the videos of cats that make your dog jump up and knock the flatscreen off the wall.
* Good luck getting earbuds that fit a parakeet.
* Beat this, Pandora!