THIEVES STEAL TRUCK FULL OF TOFU, HEALTHY JUICE

Portland, Oregon, police are looking for the thief or thieves who stole a refrigerated truck loaded with tofu and organic juice from a Safeway supermarket. The crooks ditched the truck less than three miles from the store – leaving the tofu. Just kidding – they took every last scrap of tofu and all of the juice. The crime happened Tuesday morning. The driver told police he went into the store for 20 minutes and when he came out, the truck was gone.
* That’s a lifetime supply of tofu. Of course, one ounce would be a lifetime supply for me.
* Meanwhile, the Safeway shoppers are like, “No tofu? Oh, well – I’ll just have to buy Cheetos. Darn.”
* Safeway? The Safe Way would have been to not leave the keys in the truck.
* They don’t say the driver left the keys in the truck, but you can’t tell me some crooks hotwired a truck full of tofu.
* I’m confused. They ditched a $70,000 refrigerated truck and kept a couple hundred bucks’ worth of tofu?
* What you do is paint the truck another color, drive it across the state, and sell it to some pot farmers in
real prize here was the refrigerated truck
* The only thing more Portland than this, is if they robbed a granola truck.
* This’ll be in a new episode of Portlandia by early next season.
* Police are looking for some very healthy criminals.
* You know what I call losing a truck full of tofu? A good beginning.