THE RISKIEST DRIVING DISTRACTIONS
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Today Is…
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TODAY’S ALMANAC
Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music
TODAY’S TRIVIA
Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.
ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
BRITNEY SPEARS ARRESTED FOR DUI
Oops, she did it again.
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
PINOCCHIO: THE HORROR MOVIE
No lie.
JOHN TRAVOLTA GETS ANOTHER PILOT’S LICENSE
With Travolta on the stick, you’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive.
ACTOR AWARD WINNERS
Some you know, some you don’t.
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
TIMES SQUARE NAKED COWBOY, COWGIRL GETTING DIVORCED
Give me some space, cowboy.
JOKE OF THE DAY
Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.
What happened to the sewer worker?
He died in the line of dooty.
Guy goes into the confession booth.
He says, “Father, I just committed all 7 deadly sins in 30 minutes. I was angry and envious of my neighbor, so I lazily made love to his wife, and then ate all of his groceries. And I didn’t share anything.”
Priest says, “You forgot pride.”
Guy says, “No, I’m pretty proud of myself for this.”
Guy goes to the battery store and says,”I need two C Batteries”.
The counter guy points to the shelf and said “There, just look at them”.
What’s leather and sounds like a sneeze?
A shoe.
How do you unlock a banana?
With a monkey.
U.S. NEWS
EPISCOPAL PRIEST ACCUSED OF STEALING BASEBALL CARDS FROM WALMART
Thous shalt not steal home.
CALL A BOOMER
Reach out and touch someone old.
WOMEN FLY FAKE CROWS INTO PRISON YARD
This plan was for the birds.
WOMAN HOLDS SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR HUSBAND AT COSTCO
Surprise! Albacore Tuna, $17.99 for 6 cans (limit 30).
HAZMAT INCIDENT AT DISNEYLAND’S STAR TOURS
And I thought it smelled bad on the outside.
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
BRITISH MAN TURNS BLUE
He dyed.
KICKBOXER PULLS A CAR WITH HIS TESTICLES
Tug of war.
WIFE-CARRYING RACE
Carry on.
MALAYSIAN MAN HAS 10 EXTRA TEETH
Long in the tooth.
PARALYMPIC CURLING STONES STOLEN
Because there’s such a high demand for them?
LASER MOSQUITO KILLER
The Mosquitonator.
LOUVRE DIRECTOR RESIGNS AFTER OCTOBER HEIST
She is louvreing.
FUNNY PICTURES
Right-click on images to
Copy or Save.
The Dog Show Was Over Soon After This Was Taken
Bruno, No!
Ant Bridge
Goat Ate My Homework
Another Snow Shark Victim
Just Yell
THE BUZZ
COMPANY SECRETS
Spill the beans!
DUMB HEADLINES
Our weekly look a the dumbest real headlines.
THE HAPPIEST CITIES IN THE US
(sigh) You’d know it if you lived there.
HOT DOG VS. HAMBURGER
Throwdown!
THE TOP 50 SIMPLE PLEASURES IN LIFE
[That you can say on the radio.]
ITEMS LEFT IN PATIENTS AFTER SURGERY
Anybody seen my Sharpie?
SHARK ATTACKS ON THE RISE
Bigger boat, and all that.
OUR WEIRD AND WONDERFUL BODIES
For godsakes, see a doctor.
TRENDING
NEW MOVIES
Click on name for details and audio clips
UNDERTONE
Starts Friday, March 13 in theaters.
REMINDERS OF HIM
Starts Friday, March 13 in theaters.
THE BRIDE
Starts Friday, March 6 in theaters.
HOPPERS
Starts Friday, March 6 in theaters.
Click on the title to go to an mp3 player. To download the mp3, right-click on the player and choose the “Save audio as” option.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, March 13.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
A & M AUTOLAND – Anniversary
Sometimes, anniversaries are joyous occasions. Sometimes not.
ADOLESCENT MOTIVATION CENTER
Tried and true methods that work!
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, March 6.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
A & M AUTOLAND – EZLease
Sorry, but with Al and Mike, nothing is ever easy.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, Fedbruary 27.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
MAIL SNOW
A simple plan.
A & M AUTOLAND – Day Two
It’s Day Two of A&M’s Big Sale starting next week!
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, February 20.
OLYMPIC UPDATE #11 – SNOWBOARD CROSS (for 2/20)
For Friday, February 20.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
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