THE HUNT IS ON FOR THE TOUR DE FRANCE CRASH-CAUSER

Authorities are searching for the woman who caused a massive pile-up at the Tour de France on Saturday. This is the woman who was holding a sign that read “ALLEZ OPI-OMI!” (“Go grandpa and grandma!”) as German cyclist Tony Martin and about a four dozen other cyclists crashed into her. French officials believe she may have fled the country in the aftermath of the incident. Tour de France deputy director Pierre-Yves Thouault says they plan to sue the woman “so that the tiny minority of people who do this don’t spoil the show for everyone.” According to one report, the woman fled the scene and may have traveled to Germany.
* Maybe she’s hiding out in Heidelberg.
* Or holed up in Holzminden.
* Or stashed in Stuttgart.
* If I know my German history, I’m sure grandma and grandpa could be… persuaded to talk.
* I’ve got one word for France – “Sidewalks.”