Today Is…
Anything special being celebrated or commemorated today? Find out here!
TODAY’S ALMANAC
Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music
TODAY’S TRIVIA
Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.
ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Tuesday through Wednesday
THE ENHANCED GAMES ARE A BUST
I think the promoters were high.
NEW SPOTIFY PROGRAM WILL RESERVE CONCERT TICKETS FOR FANS
It’s “better” for the “consumer.”
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
ERIC CHURCH GIVES AWESOME COMMENCEMENT SPEECH
Brought to you by Gibson guitars: “Only a Gibson is Good Enough.” Gibson.
“SURVIVOR GREECE” CONTESTANT LOSES A LEG
𝖳̶𝗁̶𝗂̶𝗌̶ 𝗐̶𝖺̶𝗌̶ 𝗇̶𝗈̶ 𝖻̶𝗈̶𝖺̶𝗍̶𝗂̶𝗇̶𝗀̶ 𝖺̶𝖼̶𝖼̶𝗂̶𝖽̶𝖾̶𝗇̶𝗍̶ Actually, it WAS a boating accident.
TAYLOR SWIFT, REBA, BEYONCÉ, WEEZER GETS INTO THE LIBRARY OF CONGRESS
Also Buddy Holly and Mary Tyler Moore.
THE ROLLING STONES DE-AGED IN NEW VIDEO
Time is on their side.
JOKE OF THE DAY
Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.
Guy goes to a psychiatrist.
He says, “I had a weird dream this morning. I saw my mother but then I noticed she had your face. It was so weird that I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep. So I got up, made myself a slice of toast and came straight here. Can you tell me the meaning of my dream?” The psychiatrist says, “One slice of toast? You call that a breakfast?”
What do you call a dog that’s deaf and blind?
Old Helen Yeller.
Why was the sand wet?
Because the sea weed.
A baseball scout found a remarkable prospect:
… a horse who was a pretty good fielder and who hit the ball every time he was up at bat. The scout got him a try-out with a big league team. Up at bat, the horse slams the ball far into left field. Then he just stands at the plate, watching it go. The manager screamed, “Run! Run!” Horse says, “Are you kidding? If I could run, I’d be in the Kentucky Derby.”
Where do boxers go to get treatment for their injuries?
Medicine Square Garden.
U.S. NEWS
DOG SHOOTS STRANGER AT CONVENIENCE STORE
The dogs of war.
MAN CUTS PICKLEBALL NETS
Spoil sport.
MARRIAGE NIGHT AT THE AAA BALLGAME
It’s going… it’s going… it’s gone!
PARENTS BRAWL AT KINDERGARTEN GRADUATION
Old school.
TRADER JOE’S GUMMY WORMS CAUSE POOPING
Fiberpalooza.
FLORIDA GROOM PUNCHES THE MINISTER
The wedding planner didn’t plan this!
HURRICANE SEASON TO BE MILDER
One hopes.
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
PLANE RUNS INTO PARAGLIDER
Well, chute.
RECORD NUMBER OF CLIMBERS ON MT EVEREST IN ONE DAY: 274
Be sure to stop by the gift shop on the way down.
SEAGULL POOPS ON KING CHARLES
Disproving the Theory of Kings in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
IRISH POLITICIAN PROPOSES STATUE OF A MOSQUITO
This is a great story.
SCHOOLBOY FINDS 1,300-YEAR-OLD SWORD
A sword in the fjord.
SHERPA GUIDE SUMMITS EVEREST FOR THE 32ND TIME
Next person to ask him, “What’s up?” gets slugged.
AUDIO: BULGARIA WINS EUROVISION SONG CONTEST
Bangaranga.
FUNNY PICTURES
Right-click on images to
Copy or Save.
First Time Making Spaghetti?
One Ugly Owl
We’ll Just Unload It Directly Upstairs
Sure Beats Flyin’
And Now… We Dance!
The Dolly Parton Of Rabbits
THE BUZZ
LIFE TIPS FROM MOVIES
The best place to get advice.
THE COOL RANKINGS
Compiled by Joe Camel.
DUMB HEADLINES
Actual headlines! Actual dumbness!
BEST PLACE TO LIVE THIS YEAR: CARMEL, INDIANA
I’d walk a mile for a Carmel.
WACKY THINGS DOCTORS HAVE SAID
Not what the doctor ordered.
UNUSUAL SMELLS THAT YOU LIKE
You people are weird.
TYPE OF MUSIC PEOPLE LIKE REFLECTS THEIR EARNINGS
#1: Cla$$ical
DO YOU THANK AI?
You’d better.
TRENDING
NEW MOVIES
Click on name for details and audio clips
BACKROOMS
Starts Friday, May 29 in theaters.
PRESSURE
Starts Friday, May 29 in theaters.
TUNER
Starts Friday, May 29 in theaters.
THE MANDALORIAN AND GROGU
Starts Friday, May 22 in theaters.
Click on the title to go to an mp3 player. To download the mp3, right-click on the player and choose the “Save audio as” option.
BUTLERS NEEDED
Millionaires need YOU.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, May 22.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
A & M AUTOLAND – Push, Pull, or Lob
Big Al discusses the mechanics of force vectors. Wait – wha?
LAWN LAWYER
Who needs a lawn doctor?
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, May 15.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
A & M AUTOLAND – Service
Which will have a breakdown first – your new car from A & M, or Big Mike?
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, May 8.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
A & M AUTOLAND – Putting Green
Big Al and Big Mike … who’s the bigger putz?
SONG PARODY: TANK OF GAS
What decade is this again?
STAR WARS BABIES
Baby Yoda!
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, May 1.
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