THE BIGGEST TURN-ONS: A LIST

A new survey of 2,000 Americans from EdenFantasys.com has found what turns Americans on and off.
America’s 20 Biggest Turn-Ons
– Neck kisses
– My partner telling me “I like that”
– My partner undressing me
– Undressing my partner
– Nibbling my ear
– Lingerie
– Eye contact during sex
– Being teased
– Dirty talk in English
– Partner doing a striptease
– Being dominated
– Partner being rough
– Biting
– Having to be quiet and sneaky about sex
– Role-playing
* All this time my dirty talk in Japanese hasn’t been having its desired effect.
* Having to be quiet and sneaky about sex? Like when the restaurant you’re in is full?
* I kind of like being undressed, but does she have to wear the rubber gloves?
* Something tells me the writer of this list just watched that “50 Shades Of Gray” movie and called it a day.

America’s 20 Biggest Turn-Offs:
– Poor hygiene
– Being mean
– Being rude to waitstaff
– Eating with mouth open
– Being flirty with other people
– Talking about exes
– Being cocky (???)
– Talking too much/not listening
– Dressing poorly
– Baby talk
– Insecurity
– Long fingernails
– Wearing too much cologne/perfume
– Being cheap
– Lack of confidence
– Body hair
– Being too “handsy” in public
– Bad driver
– Poor taste in shoes
– Calling me pet names in public
* Then there’s wearing too much cologne to cover up your poor hygiene.
* My wife calls me pet names in public. She says, “Come here, Nemo!” That’s the name of our daughter’s beta fish.

Top 10 Non-Sexual Turn-Ons:
1. Smelling good
2. Being affectionate
3. Making me feel appreciated
4. Dressing nice
5. Intelligence
6. Confidence
7. Generosity
8. Active listening
9. Playing with my hair
10. Being taller than me
* Hang on while I step outside and grow three inches.
* I love it when my partner plays with my hair. But then I have to ask for it back before going out in public.