THE 30-YEAR-OLD QUARTER POUNDER
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Today Is…
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TODAY’S ALMANAC
Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music
TODAY’S TRIVIA
Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.
ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
JELLY ROLL: 35 POUNDS OF EXTRA SKIN
A member of SAG.
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
AUDIO: AI-CREATED REALITY SHOW WHERE AI CONTESTANTS KILL EACH OTHER
Surprise! It’s sucks.
MARTHA STEWART’S BURIAL PLANS
Out to pasture.
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
TAYLOR AND TRAVIS SET THE DATE
June 13. Rhode Island. Be there.
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
QUENTIN TARENTINO’S TOP TEN FILMS OF THE PAST 25 YEARS
Yes, what does Quentin think?
JOKE OF THE DAY
Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.
What do English professors like to drink?
Shakesbeer.
Why should you never get into a fight with a plastic surgeon?
You’ll get your ass handed to you.
A nun wakes up every day at 5 am.
Her friend said, “How do you do it?
Nun says, “Oh, you just get in the habit.”
What happened when they crossed a crab with a cheetah?
Things went sideways fast.
Your momma is so fat…
When the moon is full she turns into a warehouse.
U.S. NEWS
MENTAL HEALTH EXEC GOES BANANAS
Great advertising.
WAYMO CAR ARRIVES WITH MAN IN THE TRUNK
Free hitchhker with every order.
AUDIO: CANDIDATE SINGS MR. ROGERS SONG
Won’t you be his neighbor?
CAR THIEF SAID HE WAS “BEAMED” INTO THE CAR
Star 𝚃̶𝚛̶𝚎̶𝚔̶ Wrek
DALLAS TORNADO SIRENS PLAY SPONGE BOB THEME FOR AN HOUR
And everybody had a good chuckle.
HIKER STUCK IN QUICKSAND
Quickxotic.
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
SKYDIVER STUCK ON TAIL OF PLANE
Gerrronnniiiimmmshiiiiiiittt!
WORKER FIRED FOR COMING TO WORK TOO EARLY
Beat the traffic?
JAPANESE MAN CALLS POLICE TO TELL THEM HE’S GOING TO ROB A STORE
Guy puts the “me” in CrimeStoppers.
AIR INDIA FORGOT IT HAD A PLANE
Plane crazy.
CONTAINER SPILL CAUSES BEACH BANANAS
Bananarama.
BRITAIN’S CROWN JEWELS (DISPLAY CASE) ASSAULTED WITH PUDDING
Yellow matter custard.
WORKING TO MAKE DENTIST DRILLS SOUND LESS SCARY
And good luck with that.
FUNNY PICTURES
Right-click on images to
Copy or Save.
Building Looks Like It’s In A Permanent Earthquake
Move Over
They Lie
What A Great Way To Start Work
Creepy Pie
Where Boards Come From
THE BUZZ
FANTASY FAILS
Another supposedly fun thing I’ll never do again.
DUMB HEADLINES
Have your listeners vote for the dumbest.
PEOPLE WHO DON’T RETURN SHOPPING CARTS
Seek help.
WHICH COUNTRY USES THE F-WORD THE MOST?
USA! USA! USA!
CLEVER PET NAMES
No, “Bella” is not clever.
REVENGE
They had it coming.
STUDY: HAPPY MARRIAGE KEEPS YOU SKINNY
Because look at all the skinny married people around you at Walmart.
EYEWITNESS TO A FIRING
Stories from the front lines.
TRENDING
NEW MOVIES
Click on name for details and audio clips
EMMA MCKAY
Starts Friday, August 1 in theaters.
DUST BUNNY
Starts Friday, December 12 in theaters.
FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY’S 2
Starts Friday, December 5 in theaters.
HAMNET
Starts Friday, December 5 in theaters.
Click on the title to go to an mp3 player. To download the mp3, right-click on the player and choose the “Save audio as” option.
SONG: SANTA CLAUSE HAS GOTTEN LESS ROUND
Without Ozempic!
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, December 12.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
A & M AUTOLAND – Disclaimer
Maybe Al and Mike should have split this commercial into three parts, like The Hobbit.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, December 5.
XMAS: LUMINESCENT LANE
Just keep the pace up.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
A & M AUTOLAND – 4th of December Sale
Big Al’s new idea for a sale gets a chilly reception.
CHRISTMAS CAROLERS: CRYPTO CRASH
If you’re talking about the crypto market, this is for you.
CHRISTMAS: PERVY SANTA AT THE MALL
Kicking off the Xmas season with a classic!
TURKEY: A SONG FOR THANKSGIVING
Apologies to Pink Floyd.
A & M AUTOLAND – Thanksgiving / Cranberry Sauce
Big Mike serves Big Al some Thanksgiving punch.
THE WEDNESDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Wednesday, November 26.
NED DEEDLER’S BAIT SHOP BLACK FRIDAY SALE
Free box of leeches.
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