TERRIFYING PARASAILING INCIDENT

To celebrate her 29th birthday, Katie Malone went parasailing in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, on June 9. After a few minutes in the sky, Malone saw that the boat pulling her along was going one way and she was flying in the other direction, approaching land. The line connecting them had snapped. She started traveling down the coastline. From previous skydiving experiences, she knew to put her hands in the air to steer the parasail as best she could. She passed out about 20 minutes in, and then crash-landed about 25 minutes after that at an airport nearly 2 miles away. The crash left her with a broken pelvis, four broken ribs, a collapsed lung, and a blow to the left hand side of her face. What’s more, rescue workers had to scare away a nearby alligator to reach her.
* That’s when you regain consciousness, see the alligator, and yell “SERIOUSLY???”
* Mexico, land of enchantment and safety regulations!
* I’d say this calls for a refund.
* In the Hollywood version, she’d get sucked into a jet engine, or sail into rotating helicopter blades.
* Other than that, how was her birthday?