TACO BELL EMPLOYEE SHOOTS AT WOMEN TRYING TO SNAG FREE SODA

The batter.

Guy asks, “Can still write with that hand?” Doctor says, “Maybe, but I wouldn’t count on it.”

Hop scotch.

The guy argues that he thought it was a common Sandhill crane — not endangered. The judge understood and dismissed the case. As the guy’s leaving the courtroom, the judge says, “By the way, what did the whooping crane taste like?” Guy says, “It tastes like bald eagle.”

Pissed-achio