Today Is…
Anything special being celebrated or commemorated today? Find out here!
TODAY’S ALMANAC
Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music
TODAY’S TRIVIA
Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.
ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
MEN: COMPLIMENT YOUR WIFE WHEN YOU GO ON “WHEEL OF FORTUNE”
__ R __ L S __.
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
MADONNA’S CLOTHES STOLEN. OR SOMETHING.
Now what will she wear???
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
JURY FINDS LIVE NATION A MONOPOLY
It took six weeks to figure that out?
NICOLE KIDMAN, DEATH DOULA
Angel of mercy.
JOKE OF THE DAY
Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.
Psychiatrist has a new patient.
Says, “I have to do an assessment about your habits. Do you drink?”
The patient says, “No.” “Smoke?” “No.” “Do drugs?” “No.” “Cheat on your wife?” “Never.” “Amazing,” says the shrink. “Any bad habits at all?” The patient says, “Yeah. Lying.”
Which baseball player makes the best pancakes?
The batter.
A doctor amputates a guy’s finger.
Guy asks, “Can still write with that hand?”
Doctor says, “Maybe, but I wouldn’t count on it.”
What’s a rabbit’s favorite whiskey?
Hop scotch.
Guy’s in court, accused of killing an endangered whooping crane.
The guy argues that he thought it was a common Sandhill crane — not endangered. The judge understood and dismissed the case. As the guy’s leaving the courtroom, the judge says, “By the way, what did the whooping crane taste like?” Guy says, “It tastes like bald eagle.”
U.S. NEWS
LOW SOUND WAVES CAN EXTINGUISH FIRES
Drop that bass!
GUY GETS OUT OF JAIL, IMMEDIATELY STEALS A FIRE TRUCK
Now he’s hosed.
THE CHICK-FIL-A MAC & CHEESE SCAM
Pretty Krafty.
TACO BELL EMPLOYEE SHOOTS AT WOMEN TRYING TO SNAG FREE SODA
Live Más, maybe.
AIR TAXI TESTING IN NEW YORK CITY
Still no jetpacks! Grrr!
DISNEYLAND LAUNCHES FACE-SCAN ENTRY
The happiest place on Earth, citizen.
AUDIO: BEEKEEPER FAILS TO SAVE THE DAY
And she bee all, like, “Oh, honey…”
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
CHICKENS KILLED BY LOUD WEDDING MUSIC
Another dumb cluck DJ.
TIMMY THE STRANDED WHALE NOW BEING BARGED TO OPEN WATER
A whale now? Whatever happened to Punch the shunned monkey?
SWIMMER SETS RECORD IN CROC-INFESTED RIVER
The secret: never smile (at a crocodile).
HOT? CARRY AN ONION IN YOUR POCKET
Which was the style at the time.
COBRA IN PANTS LEADS TO TOURIST DEATH
Yeah, go ahead, I guess. Put the cobra up my pants.
NEW TEST TELLS IF YOU’RE GOING TO DIE REALLY, REALLY SOON
Don’t worry, it’s not an essay test.
FUNNY PICTURES
Right-click on images to
Copy or Save.
Grrr
What The Hell
Gimme a P! Gimme an O!…
Waiting For A Bus
60’s Flashback
Dipped In Ink
THE BUZZ
AUDIO: LATEST TRENDS IN BABY NAMES
Hi, Honey. Hello, Halo.
WHAT’S THE WEIRDEST THING YOU KEEP IN YOUR CAR?
Because you never know.
DUMB HEADLINES
Read, discuss, have listeners vote for the dumbest headline.
RADIO CONTEST: KENTUCKY DERBY HORSE OR TOP 20 POP SONG?
And they’re off!
SHOCKING STUDY: MEN EAT MEAT TO FEEL MANLY
blah…blah… blah… environmental sustainability.
THIS TRADITION ENDS NOW
Cue the “Fiddler on the Roof” soundtrack.
REMEMBER YOUR VACATION BETTER BY DRAWING IT
Sketchy advice.
TRENDING
NEW MOVIES
Click on name for details and audio clips
THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA 2
Starts Friday, May 1 in theaters.
HOKUM
Starts Friday, August 1 in theaters.
ANIMAL FARM
Starts Friday, May 1 in theaters.
DEEP WATER
Starts Friday, May 1 in theaters.
Click on the title to go to an mp3 player. To download the mp3, right-click on the player and choose the “Save audio as” option.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, May 1.
HEADLINE PARK 2026
For air May 1. The Kentucky Derby is this Saturday, May 2!
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
A & M AUTOLAND – Save 112 Percent
Ordinarily, Al and Mike can’t even pay people to take their cars – but during this sale, they will!
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, April 24.
RETRO SONG: BLACK OR WHITE, BY MICHAEL JACKSON
One or our classics.
RETRO: MICHAEL JACKSON’S WEDDING ALBUM
Here comes the groom!
RETRO: MICHAEL JACKSON’S FACE MELT
Tito, get me a towel.
RETRO: MICHAEL JACKSON: THE WHITE ALBUM
Michael sings the whites.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
A & M AUTOLAND – Free Iron
Big Al’s latest promotion isn’t so hot, and Big Mike gets steamed.
PROM: WHISTLE STOP
It’s not hard to have a nice lawn.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, April 17.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
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