RUSSIAN WOMAN KILLED HUSBAND WITH HER BUTT

In Novokuznetsk, Russia, a 224-pound woman was convicted of causing death by negligence after sitting on her husband’s head and smothering him to death with her massive buttocks during a drunken argument. The woman, named only as Tatyana, said she merely wanted to calm her husband down after the couple had been drinking. The man’s daughter heard him calling for help, saw him pinned face down on the bed and ran to seek help from neighbors. A female neighbor looked in and decided the couple were just having a domestic dispute and left. The husband, named Aidar, died from asphyxia because his face was pressed into the mattress as Tatyana sat on his neck.
* More like ass-phyxia.
* Cheek-to-cheek, as it were.
* Just how big is her butt, on a scale of 1 to Kim Kardashian?
* The actual cause, which they couldn’t prove, was Borscht Fart.
* I’d heard there was a big crack problem in Russia, but wow.