ROBBER STEALS BOXERS FROM WALMART

An armed robber is on the loose after robbing an Oviedo, Florida, Walmart with a gun. When a worker tried to stop him, the thief fought back and threatened the worker with the weapon, deputies said. Authorities say the thief got away with headphones, boxer shorts and a T-shirt.
* Boxers? I wunderwear he was going?
* Gee, everything he needs to hang out over the weekend except the beer.
* You beer stores in Oviedo might want to keep your guard up.
* Imagine the Walmart store manager. “He stole merchandise? You mean our prices STILL aren’t low enough?”
* You could BUY this stuff at Walmart and probably get change back from a twenty.
* Man, if you’re going to risk 20 years in prison, you should go for something more substantial than this.
* I mean, if you can’t afford headphones, boxers and a t-shirt at Walmart, you need to be robbing the registers.
* Not that I’m giving advice to criminals or anything.
* Who knows? Maybe they don’t they have any banks in that town.
* This is nothing. He once pulled a gun and stole a thong and a pair of socks.
* Police are searching for an armed man wearing headphones, boxer shorts and a new t-shirt.