PURSE SNATCHER GOES ON A HELLUVA RUN

In Norfolk, Virginia, a man has been taken into custody after police say he reportedly tried to steal someone’s purse in an emergency room, took off in a stolen Jimmy John’s sandwich delivery vehicle, crashed, and jumped naked into the Elizabeth River. It all started when someone noticed the man trying to steal a purse at Norfolk Sentara General Hospital. Officers there were notified about the incident and confronted the suspect. The man then ran outside, found the unattended Jimmy John’s delivery vehicle and took off. He soon crashed into a building, got out of the car, stripped naked, and then jumped into the river. Workers there saw him and threw him a life preserver. When he finally returned to shore, police were waiting. He was taken to the hospital for an evaluation.
* He was returned to the same hospital where it all happened? It’s the criminal version of the circle of life.
* Then he tried to grab another purse and the whole process started again.
* It was kind of like a crime triathalon.
* Never mind him – did they recover the Jimmy John’s sandwiches?
* Why send out for sandwiches when you have all that great hospital food?
* Look, robbers and thieves – life doesn’t really work like Grand Theft Auto, okay?
* You’d steal from someone having a medical emergency? Wow, some people just have zero class.
* That’s going to add an extra 18 months to your sentence right there.
* I know some women like to always have their purse with them – but the emergency room?
* The good news? Taking off his clothes during the crime entitles him to be on that Cops show.