PARROT YELLS, "HELP, FIRE"

Emergency crews responding to a house fire in Middleton, Idaho, Friday night heard an elderly woman crying “help” and “fire.” When firefighters couldn’t find anyone in the house, they started using thermal imagery technology, which detected no people, but rather, a parrot sitting on a table. It was calling out, “help” and “fire”. The parrot, a female, was rescued, along with a quieter male parrot. The female parrot was given oxygen through an adult oxygen mask. She immediately perked up and started to imitate the sounds of the sirens. No one was injured in the fire.
* Although the parrot did crap all over the table, so it’s a mess.
* Instead of calling out, she should have tried tweeting.
* How can you use thermal imagery when the house is all hot from a fire? Get me Bill Nye the Science Guy on the phone.
* “I see the elderly woman on my screen! She’s standing on a table, she’s a little person, and she’s got the biggest nose I’ve ever seen!”
* Wait, was this the same parrot who likes coffee from last week’s parrot story?
* That one led to a car crash. This one led to a fire. Parrots are bad news.
* The male parrot couldn’t get out of the house because, being male, it refused to ask for directions.
* I feel sorry for the next person who uses that oxygen mask: “Hey, how did the bird seed get in here?”
* They might have gotten there a little late. The parrot now looks like a crow.