NIKE'S SELF-TYING SNEAKERS

Nike has confirmed that its first self-tying sneakers, dubbed HyperAdapt, will be available by appointment beginning November 28, just weeks before the Christmas shopping rush. Prices haven’t been disclosed. It has been reported the sneakers will come in three colors. Nike first showed off its HyperAdapt sneakers in March. The sneakers feature what Nike calls “adaptive lacing” technology, which can automatically tweak the snugness of the shoe. There are two buttons on the side to tighten and loosen the laces (they don’t really “tie” the laces – they tighten and loosen the lace-like strings running across the top of the sneakers).
(of all the videos demonstrating the sneakers, this is the least annoying: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xcxn7pOYCg)
* Could the future we dreamed was coming have turned out to be any MORE pathetic?
* This 21st Century should be ashamed to call itself the 21st Century.
* Gee, and I thought pizza delivery by drone was the epitome of futuristic wonderfulness.
* Give me floss that flosses my teeth by itself and MAYBE I’ll be impressed.
* Finally, another 8-and-a-half seconds back into my day I would have ordinarily wasted tying my shoes.
* That will more than make up for the eleven hours I will spend trying to get them fixed or replaced once the little motor breaks.
* Back to the Future? Back to the manufacturer.
* I don’t need sneakers that will tie themselves for me. I need sneakers that will go running for me.
* HyperAdapt … oh, try to calm down.
* That goes for “Adaptive lacing” as well.
* Gee, I hope NIKE doesn’t use this as an excuse to sell sneakers at wildly inflated prices.
* Self-tying NIKEs huh? What will those child laborers in China come up with next?
* So … how long do you think it will be before we have the first story about a guy trying to have sex with one of these self-tightening shoes?